I, Your Father, Carry a Big Stick: Chapter 140 (Patreon)

With Sarada reminding him he had a meeting with the Hokage, Wu went to visit the old man before promptly declining his invitation to be one of the Chunin Exam's Proctors. He had much better things to do, so that's what he did, 'reuniting' with Mabui for a few hours before washing up and hitting the town with Sarada.

Following the post-fashion show orgy, Ino had asked Wu if he could meet with Shikamaru and Choji to offer them advice. The former had admitted to having four different women in mind for who he could marry, while the latter had been engaged to a Princess-turned-Daimyo from the Land of Vegetables. Neither had any real experience with women, so Wu's name naturally came up due to his 'prolificity.'

Upon reaching his destination, Yakiniku Q, Wu found Shikamaru and Choji sitting in one of the public booths furthest from the door. When they saw him, the duo's eyes immediately went to Sarada, who, as usual, followed behind Wu like his shadow.

Raising his hand, Wu offered his usual "Yo." before walking over, taking a seat, and adding, "It's been a while. Are the two of you looking forward to the Chunin Exams...?"

Returning a wry smile, Shikamaru replied, "Things would have been a walk in the park if Ino was allowed to participate. On the other hand, I imagine it would have been difficult to make it to the Finals if we encountered any of your 'disciples' during the Preliminaries."

Nodding his head, Choji issued a grunting, "Nn. Nn." before setting down his chopsticks, a very rare sight, and adding, "You should have invited us when you started teaching everyone Senjutsu. If I had known there was such a 'simple' method to become several times stronger, I would have at least stopped by 3-4 times a week."

Shrugging his shoulders, Wu replied, "That's your guys' problem. It's not like I was keeping it a secret, and I know for a fact Ino told you about it. If you had the desire to grow stronger, you would have shown up of your own volition."

While Choji furrowed his brows, Shikamaru scratched the back of his head, revealing, "We didn't want to be third, fourth, or whatever number follows the number of girls you've gathered at the Senju Clan Compound. It should have been obvious during our days at the Academy, but it's hard for most guys to approach a large group of girls obsessed with the same person..."

"Mmm...fair point," replied Wu. Even he would probably steer clear of another man's harem. Not because he was even remotely shy, but to avoid any 'misunderstandings.'

Transitioning into the reason he was there, Wu caused Shikamaru's smile to cramp as he asked, "Who are the four girls you had in mind to marry? Anyone I know...?"

Shifting his gaze to Sarada, Shikamaru dryly remarked, "We didn't know you were going to bring a date. It kind of makes talking about things like this difficult..."

Pushing up her glasses, Sarada responded, "We are not on a date. I am acting in the capacity of Wu's Secretary at the moment. Please, pretend I'm not even here."

Despite Sarada's words, she was sitting so close to Wu it looked like she was preparing to hop on his lap. Choji was fairly dense, but even he could sense the tremendous 'sexual tension' between them. It wasn't enough to make him lose his appetite, but he felt as though he was intruding despite Wu and Sarada being the ones to join them...

As Sarada felt compelled to reach between his thighs, Wu gave her hand a light smack, maintaining a casual smile as he teased, "We're not children anymore, Shikamaru. If this is enough to unnerve you, you'll find it difficult to obtain information from the most 'readily available' sources..."

Understanding that Wu was referring to brothels and cathouses, the backbone of Jiraiya's expansive information network, Shikamaru exhaled a tired sigh. He couldn't deny there was a considerable amount of truth in Wu's words, but that didn't make the situation any less awkward. If he could be half as shameless as Wu, he wouldn't even need advice on how to speak and interact with women...

Deciding it was best to get the encounter over with, Shikamaru adopted a half-lidded expression, revealing, "One of them is Shiho, one of our former classmates and a member of the Cryptanalysis Team. The rest are women you shouldn't know, so I won't waste your time with an explanation..."

Though Wu hadn't asked him, Choji elected to follow Shikamaru's words, asserting, "I don't need advice. My marriage is political, so it will work out regardless of what I say or do. Konoha helped overthrow a group that had tried to take control of the Land of Vegetables and installed the daughter of the former Daimyo as his replacement. She's marrying me to secure her position, so I'm just biding my time until the ceremony."

"..."

Suppressing the urge to call Choji an idiot, as he also had a long-distance Daimyo as a wife, Wu shifted his gaze to Shikamaru and stated, "Shiho is a good choice if you want to remain lazy. She's also pretty cute when she removes her glasses, so you could do much worse."

Nodding his head, Shikamaru remarked, "The only problem is that she's 'married' to her work. That would make things easier for me in the short term, but it would become a hassle once we have kids..."

Shrugging his shoulders, Wu asserted, "Women have the propensity to change pretty drastically when they have children. Also, it won't be long before the Five Great Shinobi Nations are functionally unified. There will always be a need for the Cryptanalysis Team, but they won't be nearly as busy once the nations start 'openly' cooperating."

Narrowing his eyes slightly, Shikamaru questioned, "You're serious about unifying the Elemental Nations, huh? It's hard to imagine that the grudges between the villages will just disappear..."

Adopting a relaxed smile, Wu replied, "It doesn't matter. Once there is a higher governing body, we will enact Laws to punish those who overstep their bounds or try to incite intervillage conflicts. It isn't going to be easy, but a few 'demonstrations' should be enough to cow most of the weaker-willed dissenters. Within a generation or two, they will become relics that others shun or disparage for their obstinance."

Snatching one of the pieces of meat Choji was about to claim, Wu's smile broadened as he teased, "Besides, I'm not afraid of a bit of conflict. It's a fundamental part of society and necessary to combat stagnation. We just need to stay ahead of the curve, and their efforts are fated to end in vain. After all, people crave luxury and comfort. The more convenient their lives become, the less inclined they are to support dissension..."

As if to prove his point, Wu pulled out a one-day peach, proffering it to the annoyed Choji with a narrow-eyed smile on his face. The paunchy Shinobi sneered at first, preferring meats and processed foods of vegetables and fruit, but quickly perked up when he smelled the peach's fragrance. When he ultimately bit into it, his eyes practically lit up as he devoured even the pit.

Retracting the invisible thread of Natural Energy he used to maintain the peach's shape, Wu appended, "Give enough people what they need, and they eventually become self-regulating. We also have several ideas on how we can settle disputes by promoting intervillage competitions similar to the Chunin Exams. Instead of making it an annual event, however, we'll be ranking each individual Shinobi and pitting them against one another in a league format, broadcasting the competitions throughout the Elemental Nations."

Realizing what Wu was trying to do, an insightful gleam flashed across Shikamaru's dark brown eyes as he remarked, "That could actually work. If the villages are constantly pitted against one another in such a high-profile manner, the odds of a large-scale conflict breaking out diminish considerably. You also provide entertainment to the people, keeping them 'placated' while giving yourself a platform to control the dissemination of information throughout the continent..."

Adopting a toothy grin, Wu mused, "Movies, television, and video games are spreading like wildfire from the port cities. People desperately seek to escape the monotony of everyday life, even Shinobi. Telecommunications and computing are fated to become pillars of the forthcoming era, so the first organization to establish control over them will have an unshakeable advantage in regard to its regulation. I'm already in control of the nation that pioneered such technologies and also happen to be one of the most powerful people in the entire world. It's only natural that I establish order before someone 'less qualified' tries to take advantage of the situation for profit alone..."

Swallowing nervously, a few beads of sweat formed on Shikamaru's brow as he realized just how far ahead Wu was looking. Right now, the markets were in chaos, and there were few established supply lines due to bandits and rogue Shinobi. If Wu could unify the Five Great Shinobi Nations and get the Daimyo to support his policies, he really could gain a stranglehold over the entire continent...all under the guise of encouraging competition and providing entertainment to the masses...

Unable to contain himself, Shikamaru remarked, "You're even more of a monster than I thought...now I understand why you never accepted the position of Hokage. You're aiming for control over everything, not just the Five Great Shinobi Nations..."

Instead of refuting Shikamaru's claims, Wu asked, "Do you know a better way to prevent unnecessary fighting and sending children off to wars? At least I'm not a tyrant who will unilaterally dictate how the people live. The only people who need to fear me are those who would attempt to depose or oppose me. Even then, they're more than welcome to do so, so long as they do it in an 'above board' manner..."

With an even wrier smile, Shikamaru questioned, "By taking a chance and allowing you to humiliate them in front of millions...?"

Suppressing a laugh, Wu mused, "You can't very well rule over people if you fear their censure in the face of your ineptitude. The strong 'should' govern the weak. I have no interest in things like wealth, status, and the nepotism they inspire, so I will create a society where everyone has the opportunity to grow. If we're to oppose the greater threats of the cosmos, we have no choice but to form a society that promotes individual strength and personal merit over all else..."

Though he knew his system was irredeemably flawed, Wu was confident he could hammer out most of them with brute force. More importantly, he 'needed' to create such a society if he were going to depart the planet to explore the cosmos in the future. He doubted that the Otsutsuki were the most powerful beings in all of creation. If they were, they wouldn't be so desperate to obtain power, nor would they struggle with the conquering of a single world. Thus, once he was finished with the Otsutsuke, Wu had every intention of setting his sights on the next most powerful foe...

Seeing the fierce resolution in Wu's eyes, Shikamaru made a mental note never to stand in the former's way. His father had already warned him to be careful around him, but it wasn't until this conversation that Shikamaru truly comprehended the reason. Wu's ambitions were so great that if you weren't prepared to join him, the only feasible alternatives were keeping your head down or facing death...

Shattering the near-palpable tensions, Choji abruptly questioned, "What does any of this have to do with wooing or interacting with women...?"

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(A/N: Control the spread of technology, the media, and the entertainment industry, and you control the world...)