Maintaining the Balance: Ch. 19 (Patreon)

Since he had expected her to be more aggressive, Kahn was pleasantly surprised when Ethuza seemed to focus on her studies. She would greet him if their paths crossed, but, for the most part, she let him go about his business as usual.

After the Princess's arrival, the only real change to Kahn's life was Jinora being in a perpetually bad mood. She was usually a sterling student who paid close attention and rarely slacked in her training. Ever since Ethuza's arrival, she had been pouty, mopey, and generally unfocused.

---

Though it should have been one of the foundational pillars of all Bending Arts, Airbenders had always regarded meditation and spiritual reflection as the most crucial aspects of their training. Because of this, Air Temple Island had numerous meditation pavilions, the most prominent of which was located atop a cliff overlooking Yue Bay and the adjoining Mo Ce Sea.

Since Kahn had forbidden them from starting their physical training before they were eight years old, Jinora and Ikki would spend an average of five hours a day meditating and focusing on the wind. It was a form of training intended to promote discipline, patience, and, most importantly, a general awareness of the flow of Chi in the environment.

Seeing Jinora slouching slightly while her three-year-old sister maintained a straight back, Kahn broke the two-and-a-half-hour silence by asking, "If you're unable to clear them from your mind, voice your thoughts aloud. Air is the element of freedom and expression. Compartmentalizing, especially negative emotions, is no different from poisoning oneself."

Hearing Kahn's words, Jinora's shoulders slumped even farther before she opened her eyes and asked, "Do I have to?"

Shaking his head, Kahn answered, "Even if you shout them to the open sea with no one else is around, it's enough. However, it's a lot healthier to share your grievances with people you trust. Bottling things up and only sharing once you've been backed into a corner or broken down will leave you feeling regretful and foolish."

Nodding her head in affirmation, Jinora lowered her eyes to the ground in front of Kahn as she tentatively explained, "I...I'm upset with my parents. I don't like that they allowed the Princess to come and stay on the island."

"Hmm..."

Resisting the urge to say, "Obviously," Kahn paused for a moment before asking, "Do the teachings of the Air Nomads shun people because of their political affiliation, status, or origin?"

Confused by Kahn's question, Jinora stared at him with her mouth agape before ultimately shaking her head and answering, "No..."

"Then you're not upset because they allowed her to come and stay on the island. You're upset because of something more...personal..."

Though he knew why Jinora was upset, Kahn knew it was important she voiced it herself. If he said it, it would sound like an accusation, and, as a result, she would deny it and feel attacked. He didn't want to compromise the trust they had built over the past few years, so Kahn could only coax the answer out of her.

Furrowing her brows, Jinora felt a mixture of guilt, shame, and uncertainty wash over her like a cold wind. She was the most aware of the reason she was upset, but she just couldn't say it. She wanted to, but the words kept getting stuck in her throat.

"You're focusing too much on your emotions. Close your eyes, relax your body, and breathe. Focus on the air entering your lungs, coursing through your body, and filling you with life. It's not as though I'm expecting you to answer right this instant. You've already made extraordinary progress in your training. Even if you need a few days, weeks, or even months, I have no intention of pressing the issue if you're unwilling to talk about it."

Demonstrating his point, Kahn straightened his back before linking his hands together and focusing on his breathing. He had already done what he could by broaching the subject and forcing it to the surface. From this moment onward, it was up to Jinora whether or not she wanted to follow his advice or keep brooding over the path of another.

Seeing Kahn resume his meditation, Jinora felt even guiltier than before. She also felt a little hurt, but understanding Kahn wasn't at fault for how she chose to feel, she did her best not to shift the blame to him. Instead, she cast a glance toward her sister, who, despite the conversation from before, at least pretended to be in a deep state of meditation.

Exhaling a sigh, Jinora brought her hands together and tried to focus on her breathing. Her mind was even more chaotic than before, but she felt obligated to at least try and enter a meditative state. Kahn had invested a lot of time and energy into her training, and she didn't want to disappoint him...

...

..

.

Though Kahn had never even hinted at being interested in a relationship, Jinora wasn't the only girl suffering as a result of lovesickness. 

Far to the South of Republic City, Korra could be seen flexing in front of a mirror with a vexed, clearly anxious look on her face.

"I look horrendous..."

Deflating like a balloon, Korra took a seat on a nearby bench in order to hang her head and sulk. She used to love her muscles, but ever since she had started her period a few months prior, she had been feeling gloomy and depressed as her body rapidly developed feminine characteristics.

Korra knew she was a girl, obviously, but the notion of being beautiful had never even crossed her mind until relatively recently. Now that she had a better understanding of the relations between men and women, a lot had changed in a very short period, both physically and mentally.

Though she was initially enthusiastic about her breasts developing from buds into proper mammaries, Korra couldn't shake the feeling they didn't suit her. Before she started puberty, she had worked hard to develop her abs, thighs, back, and shoulder muscles. Now that her waist had slimmed and certain parts of her body had begun to balloon, Korra felt like she was becoming a hideous monster. She had attempted to combat it by starving herself, but her mother, Katara, and pretty much everyone else prevented her from doing so.

"At this rate, I doubt Kahn will even want to look at me..."

Reaching up to caress the pale, icy-blue jade pendant dangling from her choker, something her parents had flipped out over, Korra felt a sudden and intense urge to just tear it away. She ultimately chose not to, but that did little to counteract feelings of pain, shame, and guilt that threatened to consume her whenever she recalled the circumstances of its creation.

Back when Korra had forced Kahn to carve the pendant for her, she hadn't fully understood its significance. She just wanted something to remember him by, so she had him carve a necklace for her after observing how her mother would often caress her own while gazing to the North.

Shortly after Kahn's departure, Korra learned the true significance of the necklace when her mother caught her trying it on. The incident ended up causing quite a stir, so much so that her father had immediately traveled from the North Pole just to discuss the matter directly.

At first, Korra thought she had done something wrong by making Kahn carve the necklace for her. She tried to take all of the blame, and, for a time, she seriously considered just throwing it into the ocean. It was the assurance of Katara and Toph that Kahn understood the significance of the necklace that compelled her to keep and eventually wear it.

Before his departure, Korra had never even considered that she might 'like like' Kahn. He was her best friend and someone she had learned to rely on due to his vast, seemingly endless knowledge. She liked him, sure, but the notion they could be something 'more' than friends had never registered for her back then.

With Katara and Toph reassuring her that Kahn understood what she had practically forced him into, Korra gradually became more conscious of the boy that had accompanied her during her childhood. She started viewing the time they spent together in a different light and, over time, gradually became embarrassed by her past self's actions.

In Korra's memory, Kahn was inhumanly patient and tolerant. There were occasions when he came across as a jerk, but more often than not, it was because of something she had said or done. Even then, Kahn would never hold grudges. Her past self had done things like creating pitfalls under his futon, drawing on his face during meditation, and even breaking down the walls of his room, but Kahn never got truly upset with her. He just endured everything her younger self threw at him and even offered advice on how to better conceal her traps.

Recalling the time when Kahn had attempted to teach her calligraphy so she could better draw on his face, a soft chuckle emanated from Korra's throat. She was still feeling a little frustrated about the recent changes in her body, but reminiscing about the times she spent with Kahn had, once again, made her feel better...

...

..

.

While Kahn was accompanying Jinora and Ikki in the meditation pavilion, Ethuza kept a close eye on him through an expensive telescope she had purchased before moving to Air Temple Island. Its intended application was stargazing, but Ethuza had repurposed it into a spying tool to keep tabs on the boy she liked.

"Oh, Kahn...even when you're just sitting and doing nothing, you are the light that illuminates the darkness in my heart. If only I could be there at your side and feel your warmth against my skin..."

Imagining such a scene within her mind, a shudder ran through Ethuza's body that compelled her to adjust her position atop the branch she was perched. Lying prone against a tree branch for several hours was harder than she had anticipated, but it was nothing compared to the discomfort she felt not being able to see and spend time with Kahn.

Fortunately for Ethuza, the life of an Air Acolyte was remarkably leisurely. Kahn also lived an abnormally structured lifestyle, so much so that it was possible to surmise when and where he was located so long as you had a basic grasp of his schedule. The only time he deviated from his routine in the slightest was when someone interrupted or asked him for help. 

Thanks to the excessive amount of free time she was provided, Ethuza was able to get a basic grasp of Kahn's entire schedule. She knew where he would be and what he would be doing at specific times throughout the day. Was this stalkery? Yes. However, for the sake of winning Kahn's love, Ethuza believed information and understanding would be key. Since Kahn was clearly uncomfortable with sharing directly, Ethuza had no choice but to observe and gather information discreetly.

"Hmm? What's this...?"

Adjusting the zoom and focus on her telescope, Ethuza was able to see a faint red blush developing across Kahn's eyelids. This further emphasized his exotic appeal, but before Ethuza could admire him fully, Kahn abruptly opened his eyes and gazed in her general direction.

"Eh...?"

While Air Temple Island wasn't the largest island in the world, it was still more than a kilometer across. Ethuza was currently on the opposite end of the island, so even if he were to look directly at her, Kahn shouldn't be able to see her. At least, that's what Ethuza was telling herself as Kahn narrowed his eyes in her direction...