Tomorrow’s comic today! (Patreon)

I’m not sure if it’s me, the Instagram algorithm or just luck but my reach has plummeted. I know it’s silly but seeing how many people have unfollowed has really taken a hit to my self esteem. It happens and will continue to happen, of course. But when you put hours into a drawing and see the fallout is like a kick to the stomach. I think with Randy getting over his sickness and me trying to organize our finances to pay for it, my mind has shift to “what will sell” from “what I find funny”. And ultimately it doesn’t because it’s not authentic.

I wish I could explain this mind fuck. I’m torn from wanting to make something I love, to appeasing what will make money, to keeping the social media platforms happy so I’m not banned.

I’m sorry I’m venting here. Randy is home, and relatively healthy so I shouldn’t be complaining. But I’m dealing with the fallout, of piecing it back together, trying to act like I’m okay but I’m terrified opening our fucking mail because the market sucks so much he can’t find work and I’m holding on to a job that told me if my husband died then is SOL. I’m the 1%, for once’.

Goddamnit. I’m drunk on a Tuesday at 7 and didn’t mean to rant. I’m sorry