Species (Roger Donaldson, 1995) (Patreon)

A few random notes on Species, as we move through the film pictorially, in reverse.

1. Interesting, and a bit disconcerting, to see two Oscar winners cavorting with the likes of Michael Madsen and Marg Helgenberger. As it happens, Ben Kingsley delivers what may be a career-worst performance. (Above: Ben's done making friends.)

2. In fact, Kingsley comes across as so utterly inhuman that I expected a Big Reveal: that he was actually the male version of the alien monster. Alas, no. Anyway, here's a rat eating some alien tendril-steak.

3. Both the alien and Marg have their eye on Madsen. They think he's the perfect male specimen. But then, I guess given what's on offer, Mr. Blonde probably looks pretty solid.

4. Forest Whitaker's turn as a socially awkward empath is underwritten but not terrible.

5. LESSON LEARNED: It seems that it's a mistake to give an empath a Long Island Ice Tea. Throws off their sense of direction.

6. Sometimes that lazy eye works to the detriment of the emotion ostensibly being established. Here, terror resembles Black Curly Howard.

7. O HAI I AM A GIGER SKETCH REJECTED BY RIDLEY SKOTT.

8. "So for the little boy alien, let's start with a Chucky doll and work out from there."

9. "punks not dead"

10. "Last time you saw my little pee-pee, I was swimming and chasing a dollar bill on a fish hook."

11. Aliens like to whelp in the grotto. It is dark and wet and private.

12. Marg is a scientist who lives in Simi Valley. She is hoping to wrap up this alien-species business so that Mr. Blonde can go downtown and eat her helgen burger.

13. This fine actor went on to work with Martin Scorsese. (The Departed, 2006).

14. An underexposed shot from the alien's 1998 Playboy pictorial.

15. Kingsley emerges with a mouth full of wormy alien shit. A metaphor for the script, perhaps.

16. The Scooby Gang considers a trek into the L.A. sewer system. Madsen ponders a call to his agent.

17. The alien no like-a de pocket protector.

18. Alfred Molina, the nerdy British scientist, looks like Alan Partridge when he cums. ("Is this cool?!")

19. The bedroom eyes of Marg Helgenberger. (Honestly though, good job Species making the non-reptilian love object a scientist pushing middle age. We love you, Marg.)

20. Inches between them, yet worlds apart.

21. Dr. Gandhi is not sure he received the vodka on ice that he ordered. What kind of meat-market singles bar is this?

22. "I was in Sexy Beast."  / "Yeah, dude. I was Ghost Dog." (Yes, yes, chronologically incorrect, whatever.)

23. LESSON LEARNED: When an empath goes to Los Angeles, he is overcome by vapidity. Although he discovers what silicone experiences as it settles.

24. Ladies and gentlemen, Rebecca Romulan-Stamos.

25. "I came to this planet to mate with Kato Kaelin and I'm not going home until I do."

26. In all seriousness, Species is sort of like a porno fantasy. It's sort of a hot childwoman / bimbofication thing, but also like a RealDoll come to life. But in true Freudian style, you fuck it and it kills you.

27. "and introducing NATASHA HENSTRIDGE..."

28. Giger does his best to announce his creative presence. 

29. I had no idea that the Young Alien was Baby Michelle Williams! This is pre-Dawson's Creek, y'all!

30. COMING IN 2008: Species 2: Wendy Ate Lucy.