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Admiral Pennyworth's Slop Chest #52 (Patreon)

Published:
2015-11-30 23:16:20
Edited:
2015-12-01 18:01:21
Imported:
2022-08

Content

With the Christmas season starting up, let's do some gift ideas/advertisements this week.  Clever product names and/or slogans a plus!

Files

Comments

Jagnir

This year, a Blue Christmas is IN. Give the gift of unending harmony and happiness. Give Us.

Anonymous

Some sort of Jane Fonda/ Suzanne Somers knock off infomercial advertising how to strengthen thighs muscles with what seems to be an oversized rubber band by 3000% with women lifting cars and cracking bowling bowls as demonstration.

Mason Dunne

Forgot the whip cream? Out of ranch dip for the party bowl? Forget the spike in spiced punch? Introducing "Bossom Blender"! Simply ingest or add the ingredients in to the specially designed port, shake, massage, or have a friend help you mix your ingredients, and serve from the tap! Included are recipes, specialized decorating tip pasties, premix packs, warming and chilling pads and portion control tips! "Bossom Blender"! Who needs a bowl?!

Mason Dunne

Nomies! Edible confectionary creatures! Bring to life your next gingerbread town with real, live, gingerbread men! Perfect for the kids! We also have chocolate bunnies for Easter for those that enjoy bitting the ears first! We also have kosher items and specialty diet items on request. Ask about our special Party Pastry Golem offer for your next office party! Your satisfaction is guaranteed or we'll eat our own works! Nomies! Om-licious!! (Inspired by our rolly polly pastry chef)

Anonymous

Any gifts I give are usually bizarre as hell...so to be reasonable. How about some gift cards for a free "fill up" or dvds of Alexis's workout series.

Anonymous

Bev Bubbly (A Parody on Coca Cola) - For that time of year everyone should be jolly!

Anonymous

-Victorian England. Lady Prois's Vitality Regimen: Her Majesty the Queen is not amused (By Appointment). -Cowloonite womenfolk operating a streetside milk/dairy stand in competition with some neighborhood kid's lemonade. Alternatively, Miriam seems like the type to run a lemonade stand at her age. -More Bigger is More Cheaper 2 - Electric Boogaloo: Doctor in Quotes is offering a special where each unit of growth is cheaper than the one before it. If you let her render you incapable of walking, IT'S FREE! -You know, apparently "bubble tea" is an improper translation, and a more accurate name would have been "Titty Tea"? Look it up. Also, look up Tittea dominating the competition with their seasonal flavors like... uh... Nog. Not Eggnog. Just Nog. I don't even know what Nog is. Like, a goblin or something? A ludicrously busty goblin that lactates tea? That is ridiculous. You are ridiculous.

Jumper9

How about an good old, crazy 50/60s advertising, like those?: <a href="http://ebrustyleunlimited.com/wp-content/uploads/kiloaldim.jpg" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">http://ebrustyleunlimited.com/wp-content/uploads/kiloaldim.jpg</a> <a href="https://img1.etsystatic.com/074/0/11189731/il_fullxfull.811582795_3gdf.jpg" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://img1.etsystatic.com/074/0/11189731/il_fullxfull.811582795_3gdf.jpg</a> "Are you bored from trying to gain weight at the right spots during the christmas season, AGAIN? All that turkey, sweets, pastries, dinners, cakes, cookies, advocaats, milk desserts doesn't fulfil your tummy AND your dreams of an extra curvy body? Not anymore! We present, Grandma's puff-up cookie dough, season special! Ready in just 20 minutes in the oven! Not only we brought in the best cookie recipes of the last decades, we also add the newest scientific breakthroughs, right out of our experimental laboratory! Watch yourself getting more and more bloated, while you can't stop eating one of our 6 flavors ("double-triple chocolate", "vanilla addiction", "high-compressed banana bulk", "extra melons with milk", "duff" and "for science!"). Getting the curves and bulges you deserve never tasted better! Which one will you try first? Thanks to Grandma's puff-up cookie dough season special, your presence will surely space-filling the room, and the attention will be yours! When will you buy your package? Neighbour Annie surely bought herself already the bargain bundle, including ALL 6 flavors. Also a great christmas gift, present also your beloved ones! Just make sure to buy enough for you as (s)well! Warning: Do not eat the unbaked dough itself. Warning: Can be addictive if eaten."

Anonymous
>>1034024

DVDs of workout series sounds good. Think about it: this workout series have started the whole franchise yet we've only had TWO pages where they are actually shown! One in the LBSC and one in DinU… and both were from the second tape…Ok, may be three if we include the sketch 141208 , but it looked like an picture from some kind of ad to me rather then actual excercise...

Anonymous

Get festive and friendly this year with "Snow Gloobes"! Atlas is releasing a Christmas themed holo-bra that turns your bouncy assets into real, honest to Santa, snow globes. Our fusion of gyro sensitivity scanners and holographic projectors will create a gusting winter wonderland on your chest with every twitch, jiggle and shimmy you make at this year's Christmas parties. Snow Gloobes can display their programs through most shirts if you're on the conservative side, or go bare bra to guarantee being the centre of attention. Just remember that people are going to ask if they "can give your globes a shake." Be quick to embrace and spread this season's cheer! {Perhaps on the product label do something with the Os. i.e. Snow Gl(o Y o)bs}

The Producer

Mz Andrea Stocktons Copious Cockini. Accentuate your feminine curves and show off your phallic endowments at the same time! Order now and we will throw in the Ballziere for those of you with that other set that need support.

thrandrall

Cowloon Community College (Cowloon Cowmmunity Cowlege?) - would like to remind you that not everyone is able to spend time with their family this holiday season. This year, why not open your body to a student not able to travel home (due to distance, expense - or maybe they just don't have anywhere to go). The College Quantum Mechanics Dept - thanks to a generous grant from Patagon - is able to provide their Quantum Envelope Housing Units on short term lease free of charge. - Take advantage of the holiday spirit to give back with a Cleavage Comfort Zone, Stomach Sleeping Quarters, or even the Buttock Bodega. The Chairwoman of Patagon is taking the lead with this - allowing twelve individuals access to a full party palace in each of her breasts. Also available - take advantage of the students on work-study projects - feel free to pay a small fee for a living stole or fur blanket - let them whisper sweet derivative equations or Shakespearean essays in your ears while you cuddle by the fire.

TomboyRebecca

I'm thinking some 8 maids a milking action from Cowloon? Maybe they celebrate the 8th day of Christmas big time and have wild parties and whatnot. Maybe a scene from an outsider (Kay, Miriam, etc.) attending one of those parties? Could go a lot of directions with it really. Chesty-nuts. Or chesty chestnuts? A fun snack for the holidays with a rather chesty mascot? (Think Mr. Peanut, but sexy). I'll try to think of more stuff!