LEGACY OF THE BLAZERS - CHAPTER FIFTEEN (Patreon)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Kern cranked the hoverbike to a screeching stop, slamming into a stack of supply boxes and sending them tumbling over. The bike, not built to last, exploded seconds after they fled down a corridor to their right and, almost immediately, there were rushing footsteps above them. Blowhole’s army, whatever was left of it, was coming for them.

They found themselves in some sort of munitions room. Automatic rifles lined the walls, stacks of bullets under them. Their were bazookas, and shotguns, and even swords. As Kern peeked through the door, Lux inspected the weapons. If the Blazers had had access to this kind of firepower, fighting off the Greasers would’ve been easy. But to the Panty Mafia, this was nothing—just something to keep so others couldn’t have it.

The more she thought about it, the less it made sense.

“Sounds like they’re finally gone,” Kern said. “Thank god we didn’t train any of those traitors to be stealthy.”

“Traitors,” Lux said, still eyeing the guns. “You say that like you were expecting them to stay loyal.”

“They wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for me and Bon. I ain’t saying I expect blowjobs from them or anything, but a little respect would be nice. What can Blowhole offer them that I can’t?”

Honestly, Lux didn’t know. The Panty Mafia did have control of everything and, for as much trouble as he was causing, Kern still seemed more annoyed than worried about Blowhole. Did they even view him as a real threat, or just a buzzing bee who kept dancing around them, daring to sting?

“So, what’s our plan?” Lux said. “I’m assuming you do have a plan that’s not just rushing to wherever he is and trying to kick his ass, right?”

“While I want to do that, and while I do totally think I could kick his ass, no, you’re right, we’re not gonna rush in blindly. That’d be stupid, and while you are, I’m not.” He stepped out into the hallway, looking up and down it to make sure there were no stragglers, then waved her on. “We’re gonna find the engine room, bust that shit up, and send this place crashing to the goddamn ground.”

“Okay, that sounds stupid.”

“Your brain’s just too small to understand it, but don’t worry, it’s the best idea, trust me.” As they walked on, Kern punched his paws together. “I knew these things were a bad fucking idea when we built them, but Bon loves anything ‘big’. He’s compensating, I tell you.”

“You’re afraid of this being used against you.”

“It already is being used against me. Far as I’m concerned, it’s a cheater and I want nothing to do with it. Rather blow it the hell up, you know?”

“Jesus Christ you’re insane.”

“I might be, but I get things done and make money and at the end of the day, there ain’t shit else that matters.”

Each corridor looked the same—vague smatterings of black with reflective floors and blue LED lights which pulsed on and off every few seconds, like something straight out of a generic sci-fi flick. Their feet squeaked as they hurried down them, Kern knowing exactly where they were going and Lux poking her head into each room, hoping to see Cy.

No dice yet, though.

“Where are the holding cells, Kern?”

“Holding cells? These things weren’t made to take prisoners, they were made to obliterate. If one of your little buddies is here, Blowhole’s probably got his fat arm wrapped around their neck, or they’re dead. Or both, honestly.”

Her stomach dropped. Could Cy really be…?

No time to think about that, though, as the corridor they were in began to violently shake. Lux stumbled, falling hard onto her side, and when she looked up, she watched the wall in front of them crumble as something miserably familiar slipped through—one of Jess’ twin snakes.

In this tiny place, its head scraped the ceiling, and it glared at them like they were dinner. Knowing how quickly they could strike and how, once their poison was in you, you were gone, Lux puffed her blunt and flung her arm out, casting her wolves forward. She didn’t wait to see if her attack was successful. Instead she took off running, dragging Kern along.

“Why are we running?” he asked. “So what, it’s a smokey snake. I got a snake right here that ain’t smoke at all and I’m not afraid of it.”

We don’t have time for crude jokes. “Because one bite from that snake, and you don’t just have to worry about a funky burn next morning. It’ll kill you within seconds. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen.”

That drained the color from Kern’s face and got his feet moving of their own accord. Lux had known this moment would come, had known she’d stand face to face with them at some point—but she didn’t imagine it would be so damn hard! Seeing them like that, with their eyes blood red, very beings corrupted by the foulness of Blowhole…

She couldn’t describe it, and couldn’t imagine how Jess would feel about it. She always said she never had children because she never found anyone worth having them with, but Lux always wondered if it was because she viewed them as her children.

I’ll save them, Jess, I swear it. I just don’t know how, yet.

Lux took a long toke of her blunt, recalling the wolves as they slid around another corner. It was behind them, and damn close, too—she could hear it slithering on the floor, the walls, maybe even the ceiling. But it wasn’t powered up. If it were fueled by the panties, there was little chance they’d have made it this so far.

Blowhole sent it just to find us, she thought. For whatever reason, he wants us alive.

Strangely, that thought put some courage into her because she knew it meant the snake wouldn’t randomly lunge at them. Unfortunately, she still didn’t know how to actually get them out of this mess. And when they turned the corner, coming face-to-face with the other snake, she knew they’d been caught.

“Shit,” Lux said. “We’ve got nowhere to go.”

“You’re an idiot, but I’ve bet even you’ve realized it, haven’t you? They’re not going to attack us.”

“Yeah. Blowhole’s not even using them to their max. When combined with the panties, their power…”

“Enough. I don’t want to hear about shit like that right now. I’ve got a plan.”

“A plan?”

“Yeah, and it’s one I fucking hate, but I don’t think we got a choice. I know where the engine room is, and how to destroy it. You create a distraction and hold off Blowhole for a bit, and I can send this ship sinking like a flaccid dick.”

“No. Not until we find Cy.”

“I’ll find him. In fact, I think I know where he is.”

Lux didn’t trust him one bit, and he must have sensed it.

“I promise, Lux. I may be a douche, but I never break promises, okay? All you gotta do is survive. And before you ask, no, I really don’t think there’s any other way we can beat this douchebag. It’s this, or death.”

As the snakes closed in, Lux guessed he was right.

Pressing her palm to the ground, she let energy course through her. Within seconds it would create an explosion large enough to rock the entire ship. “You’d better not be lying to me, Kern, or I’ll fucking kill you.”

END OF CHAPTER FIFTEEN