GAG SCRIPT – THAT SPECIAL PANTY (Patreon)

GAG SCRIPT – THAT SPECIAL PANTY

Panel 1: This entire comic should have some sort of slight “static” filter over it to convey that its coming from a TV. Maybe even have the panels be little retro TV boxes, and include jokes on the knobs and buttons. In the middle of this panel there’s a wacky salesman who’s fully nude except a pair of panties covering his crotch and his head. He’s surrounded by hearts and at the bottom there’s a scrolling line of text with a fake number to call. It’s meant to look like a cheesy TV ad.

SALESMAN: Have YOU ever wanted to fall in love with that special someone?

SALESMAN: Then That Special Panty is the dating service for you!

SALESMAN: Just listen to these satisfied customers!

Panel 2: We first cut to Griswold, who’s in the middle of a fine-dining restaurant that would be the perfect setting for a romantic evening. However, he’s ruined the mood, stomping his foot through the table in front of him and scaring his date off as he fires lasers around the room, blowing things up. He’s fuming.

GRISWOLD: Fucking panties!

GRISWOLD: I hate panties!

Panel 3: Next, an awkward sight. Kern and Bon got matched up on the app! Kern’s wearing a suit, clutching a bundle of roses. Meanwhile Bon’s wearing lipstick, a dress, and a wig. Both their eyes are wide as hell because they clearly weren’t expecting this.

KERN: You’ve gotta be kidding me.

BON: It’s not what it looks like!

KERN: I’m not doing this.

BON: But wait—I got all dressed up!

Panel 4: Then we cut to Lucia, who’s at a bowling alley. She’s just rolled a perfect strike and is pumping her fist, Fuck Yeah SFX lingering above her head. Behind her, standing up, is her date—which is not one person, but two! Gerald and Jay! To conceal their identity, they’re wearing an extremely long trench coat. Gerald’s on the bottom, head poking out the crotch, while Jay’s at the top, shaking nervously.

JAY: Bro I can’t do this, bro!

GERALD: Think about the bounty, ya idiot!

JAY: But bro she’s a girl!

Panel 5: And,finally, we’re back on the salesman, who’s set has been absolutely ruined! Bera’s ripped through it and is stomping toward him. He’s on his back, crawling away from the towering beast but still looking into the camera. Even at the end, he’s dedicated to his craft.

BERA: Give me…special…panty…

SALESMAN: Uh, and that’s all the t-time we have folks!

SALESMAN: Special Panty, is, uh, just a name by the way!

SALESMAN: WE DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE SPECIAL PANTIES!