GAG SCRIPT – THE MISADVENTURES OF THE WORLD’S WORST SUPERHERO - BRIEF MAN!!!! (part 2) (Patreon)

THE MISADVENTURES OF THE WORLD’S WORST SUPERHERO - BRIEF MAN!!!! (part 2)

Panel 1: It’s a wondrously peaceful summer day, and we’re in the middle of a park that’s way too beautiful to be part of Panty’s Landing. The grass is a bright, idyllic green, the benches are made out of perfectly hand-carved wood, and there’s not a single ounce of litter covering any of the walkways. Dozens of people hang around, flying kites, playing catch, and running with their dogs. Luther stands boldly in the middle of all this, wearing a superhero costume that makes him look like a bag of sunflower seeds and striking a Ginyu Force-esque pose as he sprinkles seeds over a flock of hungry birds like he’s seasoning food or something. Also, he’s staring straight into the camera, making the blankest face imaginable.

LUTHER: I’M FEEDMAN.

Panel 2: Luther’s now changed superhero costumes and is dressed to match the birds. He’s hunched over, eating the very seeds he just dropped for them, and they look super cheery, like something out a cartoon. Once again, he’s wearing the blankest face imaginable.

LUTHER: I’M BIRDMAN

Panel 3: Night has come, and Luther’s sleeping on one of the park benches, cozy blanket snug around him. Everyone else has set up tents and grills and is having a goddamn awesome time. A small bubble lingers above Luther’s head, indicating a dream where he’s a super friggin’ buff dude. Both wear blank faces.

LUTHER: I’M SLEEPMAN

DREAM LUTHER: I’M DREAMMAN.

Panel 4: Suddenly, the setting changes, revealing that Luther was actually dreaming that entire time. We’re in the real park now, and man, it’s rough. The benches are tagged with graffiti, there are people digging holes to put bodies in, and a dude handing out bouquets of guns like cotton candy. In the distance, there’s a giant kaiju monster, a stuffed dragon wearing panties, storming through the city, knocking over buildings and spewing flames into the air. Luther, ever the hero, is standing there in his Brief Man costume, pointing his finger in the air.

LUTHER: HAVE NO FEAR, CITIZENS.

LUTHER I’M BRIEFMAN.

Panel 5: Everyone’s fleeing because the kaiju has entered the park and is spewing flames down upon it. Luther, however, is nonplussed—he’s back to sleeping on the park bench, using a newspaper as a blanket. Dream Luther has returned and is flexing his muscles proudly.

LUTHER: I’M NOW BACK-TO-SLEEPMAN.

DREAM LUTHER: I did such a good, brief job.