Interlude: Double Nero (180) (Patreon)

Normally – as far as summoning a ghost could be normal at all – the summoned Servants had no connection with each other. Even the possibility that the Servants would come from the same origin, or even from the same time period, was quite slim. So, what are the chances that two summoned Servants would come from the same legendary personality, being a reflection of different traits of their personality?

The probability of such a thing happening was not just astronomically small – it was practically non-existent.

The likelihood of calling two Servants, each a version of the same legendary personality, who were in the same class? It was not even worth discussing as a joke.

It was nothing more than a mental experiment, the likes of ‘what if the sun disappeared from the sky right now?’. Something that even the most mad of preppers preferred to dismiss as an improbable theory, unworthy of a second thought.

But, as Ainz had already proved many times, the most improbable theories and impossible events  pass into the category of ‘self-evident’. So, it was probably quite inevitable that at some point in time, two Servants who are simply parts of the same personality and even of the same Class, would appear and would probably clash personalities terribly.

There weren't many possibilities as to how such an event could have passed, to be completely honest, probably the likeliest of those possibilities was for either of the half dozen versions of Artoria. Most probably about food.

But, as was the case with Ainz, assumptions really do not work. No, a clash between Servants of the same identity didn’t happen with the many Artoria, no, it happened with Nero.

The both of them.

At the moment of the fateful encounter, Nero – let us say for the sake of simplicity of description that she was wearing red – was just finishing her preparation for her outfit. After all, even if her guests were the same people that she meets almost daily, in fact she could almost say that they were… friends. She, as Emperor of Rome, had no right to appear in public in a garb that was not appropriate to her august status!

But as she was doing so, the sound of the door behind her opening, caused her to turn from looking at the perfect beauty in the mirror. As she turned around to meet her impatient guest, she put on the most placid of smiles. “I see that you can not stand a single extra second without enjoying my distinguished self ~ umu? I can't judge – after all, even I can’t tear myself away from the reflection in the mirror either!”

Nero – the one in red – turned a moment later and looked at the face of the man who had entered, expecting to see, most likely, Archer – and the incredible adoration and admiration in his eyes… Well, most probably his usual snide smile – which was close enough to adoration in her mind.

After all, if she gave smiles to her loyal friends and subordinates even when they looked like they just ate a sour lemon – no one could say she wasn't a magnificent emperor!

After a moment, however, Nero blinked in incomprehension when she saw an incomprehensible sight. She thought that she had turned away from her mirror, in addition, she thought she was wearing a lovely red dress – the one that showed off all her character traits and so successfully emphasized her beauty. But when she had turned, she simply saw her beautiful self once again! This time wearing a white dress.

Though it was worth admitting that the white dress, or even rather the costume that seemed to be based on a wedding dress, certainly suited her. Which, however, was not the merit of the garment, but the merit of her unforgettable beauty!

Truly, even a poor box cannot hide the value of a real diamond!

However, distracted from her musings Nero – in fact both Neros, thinking almost identical thoughts at this moment. But at the moment, the conversation was about the one in red – she turned around once more, trying to test her guess. That she was, in fact, not simply being bamboozled by her own beauty, and started seeing everyone as a facsimile of her perfect self.

As she turned, the mirror showed the truth to her, there were indeed two of her.

Nero turned once more, toward the other Nero, as she took a step towards her. Who is this doppelgänger!?

Nero – the one in red – frowned for a second, marring her beautiful face, suspecting an illusion or a joke. Such a tasteless and pointless joke was quite Mozart's style and taste. Curious at the perfect replica of her beautiful figure, Nero took a step closer towards the other Nero.

The Nero in white, in reply, also took another step, after which each of the Neros stopped, looking at the other.

There was silence for a second, in which each of the Neros was unsure of how to behave. Not that there were many people in the world who could tell you how to communicate with your doppelgänger, though.

Second after second, the silence stretched, as each Nero tried to gather their thoughts, before the Nero in white spoke first. “My name is… Nero ~ umu!”

“What a coincidence!” The Nero in red reacted faster than she could comprehend what was being said. “My name is also Nero ~ umu!”

“I was summoned by my new Master only a few minutes ago,” The Nero in white continued speaking. “And as soon as I found out that another of my august self had already been summoned in the past, I was obligated to meet you.”

The Nero in red’s face spread a smile, but before she could answer about how glad she was to meet her own copy – she caught on to what she said before frowning slightly. “I'm certainly glad to meet my own copy, but… I am the original, not you ~ umu!”

“Copy?!” The Nero in white recoiled before her expression of confusion changed to a frown on her face, mirroring the expression on the red Nero's face. “I'm no less glad to meet you, after all another me simply meant more beauty exists in the world, but I see the problem with my own copy calling me a copy!”

The Nero in red frowned – a copy?! Her?! Oh no, she was nobody's copy-she was Nero! “Be more careful how you refer to the Emperor of Rome ~ umu!”

“The Emperor of Rome?!” The Nero in white recoiled as if she was struck, taking a step back. “ There are no other Emperors other than I. I am the Emperor of Rome – Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus!”

“No! I am Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus!” The Nero in red, recoiled backwards, almost crashing into the standing mirror that she had so hard to beg – I mean - by right of Imperial privilege, received from Olga-Marie!

“But I am Nero!” The Nero in white shouted.

“No, I am Nero!”  The Nero in red shouted, then suddenly stepped forward firmly, looking with an unhappy frown at the Nero in white.

The Nero in white, however, responded to these words with firmness on her part by stepping forward, whereupon both Neros’ very ample and completely identical breasts collided.

There was a distinct smell of impending conflict in the air – and a very existential one at that. Not only for the two Neros – but also, if they were not stopped quickly, for all of Chaldea…

***

Having dealt – as best, as he could – with Mashu, considering the double whammy of immortality, and the weight of interpersonal relationships in Ainz's growing harem, he thought that he did alright. Though, to be honest, Ainz greatly feared how the latter would go more.

He dreaded that, as if in some overly-long title Light Novel, his harem would spin out of control and begin to simply consume the other girls around him, turning them into his harem as a matter of course. The fact that he could actually say that he has a harem already puts that grim, dark future into stark possibility.

After dealing with all that, Ainz hoped for… Well, at least ten minutes of peace.

Ainz knows that with his damn luck, he could count on nothing above that. No quiet rest until the next Singularity began, nor would he have any luck in dealing with the assorted Servants in Chaldea with their chaotic personalities.

The fact that he had summoned Hector could be considered a miracle of miracles in itself. He was almost like an oasis in a desert full of chaos.

Most likely, Ainz's entire supply of luck had been used up the moment he had summoned Hector. At least, the ample amount of troubles he had to deal with afterwards, seemed to imply so. And so, knowing that he’s clearly running on thin ice, Ainz clearly limited his requests to the universe.

Ten minutes of peace and solitude was not much to ask for, isn’t it? Could reality be so cruel as to prevent Ainz from enjoying even ten minutes of well-deserved respite before dragging him into another crisis?

As the blast of dust and shrapnel burst out from the concrete wall next to him proved to him a moment later, yes, reality was indeed just that cruel.

Ainz could have ducked, but he still chose to extend his arms and catch the object that flew out in his direction. After all, there were few enough things that could hurt him on a direct hit.

Moments later, Ainz's decision was rewarded, in a way, when he found that he had caught a girl in his arms, dressed in white and seemingly already in her wedding dress.

‘I see that I should have taken immediate measures to deal with the Harem – now it seems that I just attract new girls to me magnetically.’ Ainz, not even really surprised by what happened, only sighed. ‘Even through the walls, it seems.’

A moment later, when the dust began to descend, Ainz knew that his troubles were just beginning. “I expected more from the legendary Nero… I mean, from the legendary you – my copy!’

A moment later, Ainz watched as another Nero, who had appeared through the hole in the wall, looked confused for a moment as she appeared, before finding a way to finish her self-aggrandizing words.

“Exactly as you'd expect from me – even my copy is legendary ~ umu!”

“Master, let me go!” The Nero, dressed in white, in Ainz's arms, twitched and started struggling as she heard the other Nero’s words, trying to get off of his arms. “This is personal!”

‘I wonder what kind of ‘personal’ problems we're talking about now…’ Ainz inhaled, letting Nero off of his arms, before stepping forward between the two Neros. “That's enough.”

“Master, please move out of the way!” Nero shouted, Ainz wasn't even sure which one, they both sounded exactly the same. "This is a serious matter, and…”

“THAT'S ENOUGH!” Ainz fed up, and in no small part gaining a headache from Nero’s voice coming in stereo, let out his Fear Aura for a second. The first level, of course, and only for an instant, no more than that.

Instantly, the two Neros winced as they stopped shouting, their gaze fixed unto Ainz, their blade out, as if to defend themselves from an attack in the next second.

Thankfully, the feeling passed as quickly and as suddenly as it had come and both girls lowered their blades slightly, seeing that they’re still ready for battle, Ainz clicked his tongue. “Put away your blades! Now both of you, tell me what happened here!”

While both Neros, looking as if a bucket of ice water had been dumped on them, clearly sensing Ainz's seriousness, quickly tried to start speaking at the same time, trying to get their side of the story first. Ainz only had time to shake his head.

He thought he was slowly beginning to understand Yamaiko’s plight. She worked as a teacher and complained repeatedly that she couldn't just slap a particularly standout, in a bad way, kid and that was why she had created her character specialized in melee – to blow off a little steam.

Although, Yamaiko was supposed to handle elementary school kids, not grown-ups…

However, casting a glance at the two Neros, trying to stand in such a way as to not touch each other while standing in front of Ainz – Ainz sighed inwardly once more, asking himself – ‘Was there a difference between them?’

Still, his distracted reflection could not last too long, and after a few more seconds he was forced to shift his attention back to the two girls, who were now trying to push each other away. “So… what happened, Nero?”

Then, instantly realizing his mistake when both Nero opened their mouths at the same time, Ainz pointed to the Nero in red. “Nero, please.”

“I’m Nero!” The Nero in white reacted instantly, throwing a look of resentment at Ainz. “Master, I am the real Nero!”

“I’m Nero!” The Nero in red answered back immediately, turning to the Nero in white with an affronted look. “Who else but me knows how to pronounce ‘umu’ ~ umu?!”

“You're pretty good at copying my pronunciation ~ umu! Which is to be expected from my copy!” The Nero in white replied, but Ainz, even if his life depended on it, could not have found the difference in the voices of the two Neros.

Through this exchange, however, Ainz was instantly able to determine the cause of what had happened – not that it was too difficult to determine after this brief exchange of ridiculousness.

“Silence," Ainz ordered again softly, and both Neros turned to him again immediately silenced, clearly not wanting another wave of fear. "So… As I understand it, you two had a bet over which of you is the real Nero?”

“Umu!” Both Neros nodded gravely, causing Ainz to sigh at the ridiculousness of his life now.

And how was he supposed to help them with that at all? Think! Ainz, think! Your reputation as a good boss hinges on this!

“You both are the real Nero," Ainz nodded to himself, hoping to whatever gods existed that that ridiculous answer he had come up on the spot, would be enough to break up the argument.

“Umu!” Both Neros shouted in seeming agreement, and Ainz felt his hope raised for a moment, before being brutally trampled by the foot of reality. “But I'm the most real!”

And of course this line was uttered by the two Nero at the same time, causing the two girls to turn to each other sharply, their swords back in their hands, and Ainz to sigh softly.

Reality was indeed surprisingly cruel.

***

The only silver lining in the very cloudy cloud of the two Neros reignited fight, was that Ainz had easily found a place so that the Nero’s rampage wouldn’t destroy Chaldea. Or at least not bother the other inhabitants of Chaldea. The room he had brought the two Neros to, an unused room that no other people and Servants had ever checked into – was like a safe harbor from the storm, where he could think of a solution.

That, however, was where the good details ended as he had still needed to deal with the two Neros headache-inducing ‘trouble’.

How exactly could one end the argument between two identical copies of the same person – so identical, in fact, that one might as well call them clones, about which of them was the real one? Especially if, technically speaking, each of them was the real one?

Moreover, we are not talking about the horror-movie-like situation where it was necessary to separate your real friend from the doppelgänger who had taken his form in order to destroy him. No, on the contrary, in the most ideal outcome, Ainz had to conclude that each of the two Nero was no less real than the other one.

The only question that remained was exactly how Ainz could convince them of that.

For the main fact of the problem was that both of the Neros present were indeed real, and both of them knew that, admitted it even. But, the crux of the matter is neither of them could fit the information ‘I am Nero’ and ‘she is Nero’ into their minds. Ainz thought he had a rough idea of how Nero's mind worked to assert such a thing.

Although, to be fair – Ainz didn't think he could have reacted any differently if another Ainz, but this time dressed in a blue robe, had shown up on his doorstep one day and called himself Ainz.

“So…” Ainz had no illusions or false hopes, but at least he could try the simple solution first, just in case it worked. “You two do realize that you're both Neros, right? I mean, each of you can say that the other Nero is also a Nero, can't you?”

“Absolutely!” Each of the Neros replied at the same time before the both of them turned their gaze to the other Nero, the action so synchronous it was almost eerie. “Who else but me could be so beautiful?”

Then each of them looked away from the other and into Ainz's eyes, where his hopes for an easy solution once again died a messy death. “But I am the most real Nero!”

“Each of you is a real Nero, aren't you?” A moment later, Ainz got a nod from each of them, and then the answer he was almost annoyed to hear. “But I'm the most real one!”

‘On the one hand, I'm sad that I didn't have time to read more books on human resource management, maybe with that I could easily solve this mess.’  Ainz shook his head. ‘But on the other hand – I'm not sure if I could have found the answer to this particular problem there.’

Perhaps the only way out of the current problem, Ains saw the possibility of telling both girls that they were all Nero, but that each was different from the other in a special but still perfect way…

No, that still wouldn't solve the problem of each of them thinking they were the ‘real’ Nero. And seeing that just offering ‘you are both real’ wouldn't satisfy them…

Ainz thought harder, trying to find the answer to the question in the back of his mind, straining his memory just in case – had any such reflection slipped into his friends' conversations in the past? Who knows, if Tabula had suddenly begun to tell him some ancient myth with such a plot – Ainz would not even be surprised… Or more likely Peroroncino with his various eroges and anime, this situation is that silly!

While the two Neros glared at each other, Ainz had time to search his entire past, but could not remember anything like that. Which was very sad, because it meant that now Ainz would have to rely on his own strength, and Ainz had not much confidence in his strength. Especially not in this matter – not at all.

Well, if he was faced with an unsolvable logic trap, then, as Punitto Moe had said…

Hmm, what exactly did he say?

Ainz strained his memory, reciting the words of his friend to himself, before the memory returned to him. ‘If you can't solve a problem – take a step back and look at the problem – maybe it didn't deserve your solution in the first place…’ Is that how he said it?

The advice was certainly good, but how exactly was it supposed to help in the current situation!?

Exhaling, thus drawing the Neros' attention to himself, Ainz raised his hands and rubbed his forehead before surrendering to the harsh reality of the current situation and accepting that no advice could help him in the current situation. He had to rely on his own strength, the horror!

“So…  Nero…  Both of you. Let's get the story straight – both of you started this fight because neither of you could decide which one of you is the real Nero?” Both of the girls nodded at his question. “But, the both of you also admit that each of you is the real Nero, don't you?”

After waiting for two simultaneous nods of the heads, Ainz decided to go for broke. “But would the real Nero try to kill another equally real Nero?”

Ainz's words, unexpectedly for him, made the two Neros shudder, which is a welcomed surprise, it meant that his words are getting to them! Then Ainz, taking note of his successful tactic, continued to press in the same vein. “I mean… If the real Nero kills the real Nero… That would be considered suicide, wouldn't it?”

There was some logic in Ainz's stream of bullshit – but if there was anything Ainz managed to understand about Nero, either of the two, it was that logic did not often outweigh emotion in a girl's decision. Especially to someone like Nero.

And, judging by the way both girls shuddered violently, as if by electric shock – Ainz had struck gold.

“As Emperor of Rome, as my Servants, how can you allow this to happen? Each of you bears the title, the mantle of Emperor, each of you should be an example to your people, not fighting with your own copy, proving to the other that she is the real one. This is not the behavior of an Emperor of Rome, but of a small child!”

Ainz wasn't quite sure if he was moving in the right direction with his admonition – but judging by the way the two pairs of eyes that were listening to his words were staring at Ainz attentively, by all accounts, he wasn't doing so badly. “No matter which of you would win the battle – imagine if you lost, would the loser then admit victory to the other Nero? Recognition, much less recognition of your very identity, cannot be achieved with fists…”

Ainz's mind flashed back to the moments when he had done just that – achieved recognition with his fists like with Nobunaga – but he chose to pretend that it was completely irrelevant to the current situation. Continuing to stare sternly at the two Neros, each of them staring down at the ground below them like chastised children, before he continued to speak. “Recognition of your personality is achieved by actions that fit your personality – would the real Nero have attacked herself?! Even if it was indeed only against a copy, would the real Nero try to kill anyone who called herself Nero?! Especially her own?”

Gradually, with each word spoken, the two girls lowered their heads more and more, causing Ainz to increase the pressure one last time, to stick the landing. “Instead of fighting and arguing, the real Nero would have been glad to find her reflection in the other Nero, a twin with the same name and history as hers. Isn't that a cause for joy?! But instead, you are like little children attacking each other. As judged by your actions, neither of you is the real Nero!”

Ending his little impromptu speech with a big verbal point, Ainz sat down in his chair, from which he had unconsciously risen during the speech, before staring at the two girls who had hung their heads. He hoped that he had at least managed, if not to resolve the issue, at least to extinguish it for the time being.

But the two Neros, who had lowered their gaze, did not raise it when Ainz finished speaking, nor a few seconds later… forcing Ainz to frown.

They weren't… they weren't mad at him now, were they?!

Looking a little more, Ainz saw a small shiver walk across the shoulders of the two girls before the rising panic attack suppressed his skill and Ainz tried to pretend that everything was normal. “I mean I… I mean, you are both real Nero, and I apologize if I…”

Ainz's apology was interrupted a moment later when both Neros looked up at Ainz, and he could see four symmetrical paths of tears on both Neros' faces.

“Um…” Ainz paused and blinked as he realized that he might have gone a little overboard with his telling the girls off. “I mean… I didn't mean to offend anyone, you're both real Neros, it's just… I mean, maybe… Ahem, if there's no logical solution to the problem – then maybe we should step back and decide if it's even worth paying attention to it?”

However, using his friend's phrase did not save the situation – on the contrary, it seemed that it was this phrase that broke the camel’s back, and the two girls finally burst into tears. “I beg your pardon!”

Both Neros' voices were so in unison that they seemed to merge into one, before both Neros turned to the other and, synchronously, the two girls embraced each other.

“I'm sorry, I won't do it again.” The Nero in red sobbed as she began to apologize, in a perfectly childlike gesture that confirmed Ainz's earlier thoughts. “I'm not the real Nero…”

“No, I'm sorry," The other Nero replied through her sobs. "I'm… I'm the one that’s not real.”

Ainz, observing this picture, suffered second-hand embarrassment, trying to find some object less cringy than watching the two crying twins, before, not finding such an object, he hummed, embarrassed, into his fist. “I mean… Maybe I… should leave you two to it?”

The two Neros only response to Ainz’s words was an intensification of sobs and assurances to each other that they were giving the title of the true Nero to the other…

Ainz, after waiting a few more seconds, got up from his seat before awkwardly trying to leave the room. "I mean, I'm off…”

None of the girls responded, and after waiting a few more seconds, Ainz quietly rose from his seat and slowly headed for the exit. As he went out the door, he instantly disappeared thanks to teleportation to get as far away from that scene.

Although, technically speaking, Ainz never answered the main question he was faced with, ‘which Nero was the real one’?

Solving complex problems or questions was definitely not his forte!

But, if it was a matter of being able to steer the dialogue away so that no answer was needed for a very complex question – Ainz was unrivaled in that!

***

Name: Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus

Race: Human.

Title: Rose Emperor, Emperor of Rome, Nero in Red

Job: Servant of Ainz Ooal Gown \ Emperor of Rome (self-styled)

Residence: Chaldea, Nero’s room in the residential wing

Karma: +200 (Good)

Racial Level: -

Class level: Saber (10)

Ruler (10)

Emperor (10)

Singer (1)

Combat Dancer (5)

Others (15)

Total: 51 Class Levels = 51 Total Levels

HP: 20

Mana: 60

Physical Attack: 20

Physical Defense: 0

Agility: 80

Magical Attack: 0

Magical Defense: 40

Resistance: 80

Special Abilities: 60

Skill: Laus Saint Claudius

Level: 60

This ability creates a barrier in the area around the user. In its area of effect, any enemy inside’s abilities and attributes would drop, whilst increasing their own abilities and attributes while also giving them access to a number of specific magical attacks, some of which deal elemental damage.  A pretty simple, but still effective ability.

Player comments:

— Holy shit, a DD without any attack, I've officially seen it all. A DD with ample mana, but no means of attacking Magically – oh bro, how is Resist going to help you in this case…

— Don't worry, maybe it's a tank! That's why Dexterity is so huge – after all, you have to be fast to get fucked over in every possible place before 20 HP runs out!

— Tank or DD?! Guys, 60 MANA and huge RES with low HP and attack is a hit! Without the ability to heal, a tank with 20 hp or a DD with 20 attack. What kind of build is this!!?