A Lesson in Mindlessness (FGO hypnosis) (Patreon)

Story two, go!

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Chaldea! Home of heroes, champions, and monsters! A place where times and places all crashed together in one glorious cacophony of cultures, where people of different societies and different eras all came together to try to live in something alllmost akin to harmony and that only very rarely resulted in incredibly violent conflicts, mostly through rigorous adherence to a strict cafeteria timetable.

All because someone could not control their gacha addiction.

But anyway. For the most part, despite the truly monumental difficulties in doing so (literally. Heroes really like their monuments.) Chaldea managed to keep the peace, and even save the world a couple of times while they were at it.

How did they do this? Hard work. Prayer. And by making sure that some of their most troublesome servants never, ever, ever met.

‘For the most part’, alas, does not mean that nothing ever slipped through their guard. And on some bad days, even they couldn’t escape the worst-case scenario…

“Helllllooooo!!!” The greeting call of a purple haired predator echoed between the cavern walls as BB, that beautiful babe and digital devil, pranced into the lair of one of the most… capricious of all of Chaldea’s servant population.

One of the most capricious aside from BB herself, that is.

There was a rustling, slithering sound somewhere in the darkness, and a groan of annoyance – a familiar sound to the rogue AI, that was to be sure. “Get out of here, pest,” the low voice of Gorgon, Medusa in her most powerful form, grumbled from somewhere unseen. “I’ve no desire to deal with your foolishness, this day or any other.”

By her standards, this was restrained and polite. But restrained and polite got you nowhere with BB.

“Oh, now there’s no need to be like that,” the AI giggled, skipping heedlessly ahead into the centre of the cavern, her seemingly carefree movements disguising her true malevolence to anyone who didn’t know better – which Gorgon, for better or for worse, did. “Is that any way to treat a guest? Although I suppose you wouldn’t know, since no one ever visits this pathetic hovel you call a home… But hey, never mind that – I need your help!”

“I don’t care,” was the cold, blunt response. “Leave.”

“No.” Equally coldly blunt. “You’re helping! Don’t worry, it won’t take long. Just take a look aaaaat… this!” With a bit of a rummage she pulled out a classical pocket watch, the kind with a big face and a golden chain.

There was an annoyed sigh from the shadows. “And what is that supposed to be?”

“Uh. A watch. Duh. I mean, I know you’re from ancient history but seriously, learn to keep up. Geeze, I bet you can’t even tell the time.”

“I can tell the hour of your death is swiftly approaching, pest.”

BB snorted. “Hey, if you wanna find out who gets the type advantage between a Moon Cancer servant and an Avenger, knock yourself out!” She stuck out her tongue impishly, before brandishing the pocketwatch again. “But if you’re not in the mood to get utterly trounced, just get out here and let me test a few hypnotism tricks on you!”

The shadows didn’t stir, but there was the definite impression of a glare coming from somewhere out in the darkness. “Hypnotism? You believe you can hypnotise me, one of the most ancient enemies of humanity? Your hubris has truly reached unthinkable heights, pest.”

“Blah blah blah…” If the AI was intimidated, she had a funny way of showing it. “Yeah, obviously. Come on, let’s face it, a weak-minded simpleton like you would be the perfect hypnobait subject to practice my GLURK!”

Just how BB intended to practice her glurk with Gorgon, well, that would forever remain a mystery, as the mystical monster and former demigod’s tail whipped out of the shadows and wrapped around the AI’s throat – and, indeed, the rest of her curvy body - with savage intensity, yanking her up off of her feet and into the air. The purple haired fiend’s cheeks puffed up as she struggled to breathe, her feet kicking the air as she tried to break free, only to find herself flipped upside down as the woman she’d intended to target for her scheme finally emerged from the darkness in front of her, looking entirely too amused at the AI’s predicament.

“Well now, if you wish to learn about hypnosis,” the beast purred, sliding closer and closer to her pretty little prey, “then all you had to do was ask. I know all sorts of tricks for ensnaring the thoughts of the weak-minded…”

As she spoke, her eyes glowed with unearthly light, bright colours swirling around her pupils as her smile widened into a savage grin.

“Let me go, you unlovable freak!” BB was not nearly so pleased with the way things were working out, especially as Gorgon began swinging her from side to side, making her head spin. “Don’t you have any idea of who I am?! I’m a super ultra-advanced computer system that could never… Uh…”

Her yelling paused, eyes fluttering as the dizziness clouding her thoughts grew worse and worse. Slowly, unbeknownst to her, colours just as bright and just as swirly as the ones in Gorgon’s stare began to seep in around her own eyes…

“What’s the matter, pest?” And naturally, the ancient antihero was eager to press in on this moment of weakness. “Don’t you have anything more to say? No egotistical boasts? No bratty threats? Come now. Speak up.” Her eyes spun brighter and faster with every word.

“I… I…” Oh dear. BB was having trouble. Her eyes were fixed on Gorgons now, the constant swinging only serving to make her daze worse. Her head was spinning, swirling around like the whirlpools that were filling her gaze. She had to… She had to pull herself together! “I’ll turn you into a puh-puh-purse for this!”

“Oho?” Gorgon’s grin grew even wider, and BB’s head grew even thicker. “Is that all you’ve got?” Swing. Swing. Swing. “Who’s the weak-minded simpleton hypnobait now, hm?”

Weak-minded…

“I…”

Simpleton…

“I…”

Hypnobait…

“I’m…!”

All of a sudden, everything froze, the bound and bothered BB’s thoughts coming to a complete stop as her processing core locked up, consumed completely by the spiral. The moment seemed to hold for an achingly long eternity, until…

Ping!

The colours filled her head to the brim, and her system crashed utterly. A wide, stupid smile spread over the purple pest’s face as her mind went totally blank, her eyes transforming into vapid colourful spirals, just like the ones Gorgon had been beaming into her.

And Gorgon knew exactly what that meant. “You’re an empty-headed slut.”

“I’m an empty-headed slut!” The former genius AI, now more moronic than a broken alarm clock, cheerfully repeated, her smile only growing wider as drool dripped from the corner of her mouth.

“A simple-minded fool~” The beast finally relaxed her eyes, their job done, even though she kept her new toy swinging, the AI’s eyes now permanent spirals – a clear show of how vapid she had become.

“A simple-minded fool!” She kept on repeating, much to her captor’s amusement. Ah, what else could she have her say…

“A brainless moron,” Gorgon laughed, her gaze still following the pest as she swayed, “who thought entirely… Uh… Entirely… too much… Um...”

That was strange. All of a sudden, it had become very difficult to focus. Difficult to… think. What… What had she just been saying?

Fortunately, BB was still happy to help! “Totally brainless.” Swing. “Such a moron!”

Gorgon blinked, the fuzz in her head growing thicker. What… What was happening…

Swing. “Empty-headed slut!” Swing. “Simple-minded fool!”

“H-huh…?” A silly little smile was starting to quirk at the edge of Gorgon’s lips, a few colours swirling in her eyes despite herself. “Th-this isn’t possible…”

But despite her protests…

“Brainless moron!”

… A strange stillness was settling over her thoughts…

“Empty-headed!” Swing. “Simple-minded!” Swing. “Brainless!” Swing. “Moron!”

… Until finally it was just too much.

PING!

Gorgon’s silly smile widened into an outright goofy grin as her eyes flooded with spirals, and her brain totally popped. All she could do was stand there, staring blankly into space as she too began to drool, rendered utterly mindless by her own improvised swinging pocket watch – who would continue to swing in her face, rendered equally mindless by her own poor choices.

In the end, it seemed that BB had been right about Gorgon’s weakness to hypnosis – though, in turn, she’d severely overestimated her own resistance to it as well. Ultimately, neither evil would be the winner today – instead, the only winner was Chaldea, who wouldn’t have to put up with the two biggest troublemakers on their servant roster for a good long while. Wasn’t it nice when things worked out like that?

And so, completely by accident, a new era of peace would dawn over the last bastion of humanity. A golden age of joy and prosperity, that would bring glory and success to their ongoing quest to save the world…

… At least, until Kiara emerged from the next summoning attempt. Someone really needed to do something about that gacha addiction. But that is a story for another time~