CPU Slowdown (Neptunia Bimbofication fic) (Patreon)

Hey folks! Today's story is a commission where I was asked to write a story of Doki Doki style hackery happening to characters from another setting with some meta awareness!

... I have never played Doki Doki. I have, however, played pleeenty of Neptunia! So this was the result - hopefully you enjoy!

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(Contains bimbofication)

A new day had dawned over Gamindustri, and with it, inevitably, had come another threat. People disappearing, strange cults emerging, monsters attacking… You know, the usual. This place wouldn’t be much of a land of adventure without all the adventure fodder, would it? C’mon, that’s just how these things work.

This time, though, it wasn’t your standard video game piracy Aesop making crowd buzzing around and ruining everyone’s day. This time, the forces at work were a little more sinister, and slightly less overdone-

“Wait, you mean it’s not Afoire this time? Aw man, I had a whole speech planned for her this time and everything. All that work gone to waste, what a way to start a story…” Neptune, the purple haired ever lovable, eternally popular, not at all irritating why would anyone think that, protagonist of protagonists groused, her back hunching as she drooped in disappointment. Which meant that she slowed down, and thus the woman walking behind her crashed straight into her.

“Neptune! Don’t just stop in the middle of the road like that! Don’t you pay attention to other people? How rude!”

“A-ah, sorry Noire, wasn’t thinking…” Nep rubbed the back of her head and backed away before the black haired tsundere of tsunderes could really get the speed up for a rant. She might be going for days if she kicked off now.

“And who are you calling a tsundere?!?”

“My my, Noire, breaking the fourth wall already? Isn’t it a little early in the story to be breaking out that kind of humour?” As ever, the calm voice of reason belonged to the blonde in the back (the one with the rack). Vert’s amused smile and mature figure gave her an aura of respectability that she absolutely didn’t deserve.

“What?” Noire turned to look at her, pointing at Neptune. “But- but she started it!”

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” The fourth member of the CPU crew, Blanc – the brown haired grumpy one in the white hat – stomped past the pair with a roll of her eyes. “Quit getting distracted. We’re nearly there.”

And indeed they were. The CPUs – the four goddesses of Gamindustri – had been hiking their way through a monster infested forest (because, you know, of course), cutting their way through slimes and blocks and weird robot things while trying to stop Vert from hanging about for too long grinding up her levels on the easy encounters, but now they could see a dark factory rising up ahead of them, its black cement blocks towering over the green trees. Their destination was in sight.

“This is definitely the place, huh?” Neptune asked, folding her arms behind her head. “All the weird stuff is coming from here?”

“Yeah, looks that way.” Noire had a hand on her hip as she studied the building. “That factory is the source of all the weird signals going out around the world. Whatever’s going on, this is the source of it.”

“I dunno…” The purple haired girl screwed up her face. “It’s kinda early for us to be storming the final boss’s lair, right? There’s no way this is the real deal – unless we’re supposed to get defeated and Nep Jr gets to be the protagonist again, but that wasn’t really popular the last time it hap-ow ow ow!”

“Stop doing that!” Fortunately, Noire was on hand to smack the girl upside the head whenever she started getting too meta. “Come on, get serious. Whoever’s in there is screwing up our world, and this is our chance to stop them before they do something really serious!”

“Okay, okay…” Neptune pouted, but rallied quickly. “I guess it’s go time then! If we’re going to do this seriously, I’m going in hot! CPU Powers, activate!”

There was a flash of light, and an obligatory stock footage transformation scene (this story isn’t made of money you know). Naturally, when it was over, the diminutive Neptune had been replaced with her older, more serious goddess self, Purple Heart. Ready to kick ass and take names.

The others looked less than impressed. “Well that doesn’t seem very proper…”

“Isn’t that overkill?”

“Don’t we usually get in trouble when we kick off in CPU form?”

“Oh come on, guys.” Purple Heart’s voice was deeper than Neptunes, but despite her obvious boost in maturity, you could still tell they were the same person. “There’s no reason for us to hold back. If we want to take this villain out now, we should go in at full power.”

Noire sighed. “I suppose you make a point. Fine.” There was a flare of light, and then Black Heart was standing in her place. “I can get behind a plan where we go all out! … And wait a minute, why didn’t I get a transformation sequence?”

Again, not made of money here girls.

“Ugh. Fine. Whatever!” Blanc raised her hands in frustration. “But if this goes wrong somehow, I’m blaming you, Neptune!” Another flare of light, and the goddess White Heart had joined the party. “Now let’s shred these assholes!”

Another flash of light, and Green Heart was also standing alongside them. “Very well – I won’t argue with the group.” She twirled her spear. “Let’s go for full annihilation.”

All in agreement, the four goddesses charged, scything through any monstrous guardians between them and the factory with ease in their charged forms, and swiftly kicking down the front door to the factory.

Only to find that it was completely empty.

“What the…” Purple Heart stepped inside, cautiously advancing into the darkened room. “Noire, are you sure this was the right place?”

“Positive.” Black heart glared around at the empty factory floor, sword in hand. “The signals came from here, they had to.”

“I swear, if you idiots wasted my time on another wild goose chase I’m going to be pissed,” White Heart growled, stalking into the building like an axe murderer during the butchery climax of a slasher movie.

Green Heart just sighed, following the others in and looking around. “There were so many games I could be playing right now…”

Yes, the factory was empty, and this had all been a waste of time… or… was it? Just as they were about to leave, Purple Heart caught a glimmer of light from the corner of her eye. Immediately, she turned, her eyes narrowing. “Hold on. What’s that?”

“Huh?” Black Heart and the other CPUs looked back. “I don’t see…”

But Purple Heart was already on the move, her sword drawn as she walked towards where she’d seen the light. “There was something over here. Where… Aha!” She rounded a corner, and there, seated at a desk, lit up by the light of a computer monitor, was… “Wait, who are you?”

… A scrawny looking woman in a casual looking white T-shirt and blue jeans, her brown hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, her face hidden behind thick framed glasses which reflected the light of the screen. She looked… utterly ordinary.

She also didn’t look that interested in the big Purple haired woman threatening her with a sword. “Oh,” she said, typing away on her keyboard. “You found me. That was kinda quick. Guess I’d better take care of you then.”

Purple Heart’s eyes narrowed. “What do you-“

The girl hit the enter key.

“-oOOOOooooohhhhhhhh…” And the CPU immediately stopped in place, gasping as her sword slipped from her suddenly limp fingers. A strange sensation was rushing through her head, and lines of ones and zeros flickered behind her eyes in Planeptune purple, before swiftly turning pink and dropping in value. A wave of heat rushed through her body, and she shuddered, eyes fluttering, as her attributes began to change. Her che- her brea- her tits started to swell, pumping up like balloons in an instant, stretching her top out until she was even larger than Green Heart-

- There was a scandalised gasp from the back of the party, and an enraged roar from the blue-haired girl in the middle –

- While her ass was rounding out at just the same rate, with her long and sexy thighs lengthening a touch just to complete the balance. Her body suit strained for a moment, before flickering with pink code and morphing right along with its wearer, becoming a pair of pink tinted desert cups balanced on her nipples and a set of pink panties with the words ‘The real pudding’s down here’, with arrows pointing to her already dripping nethers.

But the real changes were going on in her mind, where the knowledge and power of a goddess was being erased and replaced with the idiocy and heat of a slut with only sex on the brain. Her fighting skills were removed, and the space left was filled with ways to fuck and suck like there was no tomorrow. A mental magnet was run over the memory of her friends and duties, frying them to useless slop. The personas of a perky protagonist and an elegant lady of war were dumped in the recycle bin and deleted, leaving just an empty-headed bimbo goddess in their wake.

As a final touch, the power on icons in her eyes popped, dimming for a moment before reforming as a pair of heart symbols while her blue eyes turned pink and vapid. And thus, goddess Purple Heart, her lips still curled in a small o of surprise, dropped to her knees, one hand reaching up to feel her expanded breasts while the other snuck into her panties, and a wide, dumb smile began to grow over her face…

“Wh-What did you do to her?!” Black Heart was first on the scene, rushing over with horror on her face. Well, mostly horror. It would have been a touch more convincing if her eyes weren’t having to struggle to stop staring at the new Neptune’s boobs. They were just so… bouncy…

“Eh.” The woman shrugged. “She was kind of a buzz kill, so I hacked her code and turned her into a bimbo. Simple stuff, y’know?”

“Undo it!” The CPU brandished her sword, murder on her face. “Undo it now!”

“Huh.” The woman seemed unimpressed. “Yeah, sure, gimme a sec…” She turned back to her keyboard and started typing, and then paused. “Or I could just do the same to you…”

Black Heart’s eyes widened. “You- Die!” And she charged forwards…

The girl hit the enter key.

The CPU froze in place, caught mid stride, her sword raised. She couldn’t move! Quiet grunts of effort echoed from her throat as she struggled, trying to take another step forward, but whatever force had seized her held her tight. And then she was forced to watch, shock and horror reaching their boiling points, as the giant glowing sword in her hands was surrounded by pink code, and changed, shrinking, melting down and losing its edge, rounding out into a more cylindrical shape, until…

… Until what she held in her hands was no more than a glowing pink dildo. One which she quickly found herself sliding between her legs, her own bodysuit dissolving a way in a cloud of pink digits to make room. “No, what are you-Huah!”

A Queen of action and planning, Black Heart had never truly had the time or inclination to indulge herself in the feelings that she now found herself drowning in. Pink tinted pleasure pumped into her with every thrust of her own hands, shooting straight up through her body and slamming into her brain, leaving her more dizzy and confused with each pulse. It was overwhelming. Even as the force that seized her body released her, she found she couldn’t stop, sinking to her knees and continuing to work the dildo into her bare snatch with conflicted eagerness.

She couldn’t stop even as the pink light began to spread into her, pink code spreading along her skin, wrapping around her ass and waist, growing out the former and shrinking in the later. She couldn’t stop as the code began to spread, coiling around her breasts and making them swell, proud, perky and impossibly round, turning them into almost fake looking tit torpedoes. She couldn’t even stop as the code spread higher, snaking up her neck and around her head and poking in through her ears, pink lines of ones and zeros starting to flow directly into her brain…

And after a few moment of that, she didn’t want to. The portions of her mind dedicated to pride, sense, intelligence and reason popped into little clouds of pink ones and zeros, and all that was left was a sex happy dumb whore, ready and willing to do anything for pleasure. A mindless grin spread over her face as the symbols in her eyes popped away, turning into pink hearts much like her sister goddess, and her white hair took a pink hue.

In fact, speaking of said sister goddess…

“What the fuck?!” By this point, White and Green Heart had both caught up, only to find their two divine companions big boobed, brain drained, and suddenly far more open about expressing their affection for one another than they had been. Black Heart had apparently had her tsundere-ness drained from her head along with her intelligence. “What the hell is this?”

The woman was looking back to her computer, casually typing away again. “Eh. Look, I hacked my way into your world to make me a nice bimbo paradise, you know? Gunna make bank filming you guys for pornos. And if that means rewriting you guys so you’re my nice and compliant bimbo pets, well that just means you’re getting your brains drained sooner rather than later, right? Kind of a waste to get all upset about it.” She sipped at a mug of steaming liquid – coffee, maybe?

“That’s absurd,” Green Heart protested. “You can’t seriously think you can rewrite our entire world into some bizarre porno paradise! I mean, that’s what R-18 island is for…”

“Yeah, try not to sound too excited there Vert,” White Heart muttered. “Whatever! Knock it the fuck off or I’m going to knock your-“

“Oh wow.” The hacker sipped her coffee, looking at White Heart. “Yeah, no, can’t be having anyone that flat around here. Lemme fix you up.” And she turned back to her keyboard, typing at truly ludicrous speed.

“W-wait! No!” White Heart had a split second to make a choice. Could she attack this woman before she completed her command? Black Heart had tried, and now she was giving Purple Heart a tonsil inspection with her tongue. But maybe she could get out of the woman’s range? Quickly, she jumped back, turning to flee out of the factory and off of the map…

The hacker hit the enter key.

White Heart felt herself get yanked off her feet not a step from the exit and held up in the air. She struggled, still trying to run, and then fly when that didn’t work, but the force that kept her suspended also kept her rooted in place – she couldn’t escape. Around her, lines of pink code began to form, surrounding her like daggers in a To*ho* game…

“No! Fuck off, get away from me!” She snarled, drawing her axe and slashing at the air wildly, shattering the code lines as they started to shoot in towards her. A wild ball of violence, she actually proved to be quite effective at it, quickly repelling the first, second, and even third wave in a brutal display. But her stamina wasn’t infinite, and eventually, a line shot through, striking her square on her left butt check and drawing a surprised squeal from her as her ass promptly inflated to sex doll proportions.

“Woah! You bitch, how dare you!” Of course, this just proved to anger the CPU even further – and it reduced the amount of targets that the code lines could hit. The fifth, sixth, seventh, and even eighth wave of code fell apart against her onslaught! Nothing could touch her! Until…

‘Wait. If I let this stuff hit my chest then I might get bigger boobs!’ The realisation cracked through White Heart’s head like a shot from a gun, her eyes widening in shock. The bust she’d always wanted! And all she had to do was let one line slip through – and then she only had to defend her head! What a genius plan!

“Heh heh heh…” The blue haired CPU chuckled, before bursting out into full on maniacal laughter. “Come on then, you dumbass bitch! Let’s see what you can do with THIS!” And she relented, letting dozens of lines of code strike her straight in the steep cliffside that she called a chest.

“Cliffside?” White Heart snickered. “Maybe before… But now… But now…!” Just as she hoped, her chest was growing. Pushing out from flat, to small, to decent, to big, to busty, to Mega Milk, straining her top so much it tore open. “Hahahahaaha! Look! Look! Look upon my tits and despair! I’m even bigger than you, Thunder Tits!”

“…” Green Heart’s expression was half disbelief, half disgust. As White Heart’s laugher continued, it slowly morphed into flat out irritation. “You know, I was going to warn you about what’s about to happen… But I think I’ll just watch.”

“Whatever, bitch, you’re just jellous of my- Oho, not so fast, jackasses!” More lines of pink code were forming around her head, their last target, almost forming a bimbo halo. “Don’t think I’m going to let you get any more of m-!” She raised her axe to swing – and her arm caught on her new boobs, sending a shock of pleasure through her and sending her weapon flying. “-eeeee…?”

She blinked, and looked up at the hovering crown of pink about to descend upon her. “Fuck.”

Then the pink wave crashed down on her, multiple lines of code stirking her right between the eyes, while yet more still snaked in through her ears, all infiltrating her mind and starting White Heart’s format, defrag and reboot as an airhead slut.

“Just as I thought,” Green Heart muttered, as she watched White Heart jolt and shudder, juices starting to drip down her legs to the floor while drool began to pour from her lips as her brain sizzled and shank. “She had no training in how to fight with big breasts. Such a shame. But I suppose it just serves her right for trying to subvert the natural order.”

Which was cold to say but Vert always got rather tetchy when any of the CPUs tried to strip her of her big boob supremacy. Some things you just don’t try to take away from a girl!

Either way, it seemed White Heart didn’t care anymore. The pink light faded, and whatever force was suspending her in the air vanished, leaving her to land on the floor, well-padded ass first. The drop seemed to jolt her limp form into motion, and she sat up, her now pink, heart filled eyes staring around in vapid confusion. Then she giggled, and her hands gravitated to her breasts, the woman cooing with delight as she began to play with the prize she had traded her brain for. There was no mistaking it – White Heart had joined Black and Purple as an empty-headed bimbo.

Green Heart took a deep breath, gripping her spear tightly. In a matter of moments, her entire group had been wiped out – protagonist first, even. The situation was truly dire. This woman was somehow capable of damn near anything, it seemed – and neither distance nor power had protected her friends from their power.

“So what now,” she asked, flicking her green hair back. If she fired off an EX attack, maybe she’d be able to deal with this woman and reverse what she’d done, but she needed to buy time to prepare. “Do you have the same fate in mind for me?”

But the answer she got surprised her. “Ah, not really. You’re already pretty much a bimbo, you know? I can leave you be, you fit in already.”

There was a pause. Somewhere in Green Heart’s head, she thought she heard the sound of breaking glass. Ah. That would be her temper snapping. “I’m. Sorry?” She asked, her voice tense and stilted as she twitched.

“Yeah, I mean, look at you. Look at those tits! No need to make those any bigger. And the lot of you were dumb enough to come find me early so I could bimbo you up sooner, so you’re probably not all that smart. Yeah, you’re fine, you’re a bimbo already.”

“How dare you!” Green Heart glared, foot stomping down on the ground so hard that it almost disturbed the bimbos on the floor pleasuring themselves. “I am not a bimbo! I am a wise and gracious goddess – even if I also have big breasts!”

The woman shrugged. “Okay, fine, sure, but I don’t think it’d make a difference even if I did bimbo your code. You fit the part, sorry.”

“Bullshit!” Green Heart snapped, channelling her colleague from Lowee for a moment. “… I mean, that’s simply not true. If you ‘bimboed’ me I assure you I would far exceed your expectations in every regard.”

“I mean, I guess? Maybe?” The Hacker looked a touch confused. “I guess we can try it if you really wanna prove it?”

“Go ahead.” Green Heart nodded, a relieved smile on her face. “I’ll be happy to prove I can be an even bigger bimbo than anyone if you… Wait.” She paused. Something had gone wrong here, somewhere. Unfortunately, before she could put her finger on where…

The Hacker hit the enter key one last time.

There was no big scene or sequence this time. Really, if Green Heart had wanted such a thing she probably should have put up more of a struggle. Instead, her lack of resistance netted her an instant conversion – a burst of pink smoke surrounding her with a quiet ‘Poof’ and surprised gasp, the occasional one or zero falling out and bouncing across the floor. And when it cleared…

Well, Green Heart had never been the most conservative CPU. Even compared to the others, her outfit left little to the imagination. Now, imagination would no longer be required – she put everything on display. Long, smooth legs capped by green heels. A round ass that could flatten a reasonably sized chair, and thick nether lips which dripped constantly with arousal. A slim, slightly muscled belly that carried not a trace of fat. And, of course, massive breasts that could contain the other three bimbo CPUs busts with room to spare, jiggling and bouncing on her chest without complaint or sign of strain – her title as the bustiest CPU was safe once more.

But the biggest change was to her face, where her simple and mature style had been replaced by lavishly applied makeup, green lipstick heavily painted upon thick, slightly parted lips, and dark green eyeshadow dusted over vapid pink heart filled eyes – eyes that gazed upon the woman who had changed her with utter unbridled lust… All framed by a waterfall of green locks which hung freely across her shoulders and down her back, streaked with blonde highlights and teased out to maximum volume.

Just taking a breath seemed to set her body quivering with desire.

“Like, ohmigod, you totally bimboed me!” She giggled, striking a pose with her arms behind her head and her chest pushed out. “Awesome! I’m so, like, super horny now~” Her pink eyes flashed. “Wanna fuck?”

The Hacker snickered. “Wow. I guess you really are the biggest bimbo. Cool.” She looked the green haired goddess of lust over. “Yeah, sure, I guess I could do with a treat while I code. See if you can fit yourself under my desk, dumbass.”

“Yes Mistress!” And the former Green Heart rushed to do just that. It was, admittedly, a bit of a struggle – fitting an ass that fat under a mere desk was never going to be simple, and tits that big only complicated matters – but eventually, with pure airheaded determination, the bimbo CPU slid herself into position, the Hacker’s legs spread and resting across her tits, while her mouth was free to dive into the wonderful pussy her Mistress had offered her.

And as the Hacker got back to work, enjoying the lovely long tongue of her efforts, the other guardians of Gamindustri all giggling and fucking behind her, she decided that yes, this had indeed been a good world to hack and take over. With no one left to stop her, she started her coding in earnest, beginning the bimbofication of the land on a grand scale – a pink wave of code that was going to turn everything into big, busty, bimbo porn. It’d make her rich.

The only real question now, was what world should she head to next…?