Persona 5: Dumb Luck (P5 Bimbo fic) Chapter 1 (Patreon)

Phew! New Years update, completed just in time! Sorry for the delay folks, this week has been hell for getting writing done but hopefully this 6.5k word chapter will make up for me being slow. I hope you enjoy!

(Contains bimbofication and genderswapping) 

"Sir, with all due respect..."
 

"Now now, Miss Niijima." The heavy iron door opened, allowing two figures to pass its threshold. One male, one female. It was the female who seemed the more out of place here, and she looked around curiously as they descended deeper into the dark facility. "We cannot be too careful. Everyone who has received one of these cards from the so called 'Phantom Thieves' has quickly developed massive behavioral shifts, sometimes acting as though their entire personalities have become... inverted, as it were. 'Had their hearts stolen', as they like to put it. Surely you don't want them to do such a thing to you?"
 

"Of course not," Sae almost snapped, retreating at the last moment only when she remembered this man was her superior. "But I also have no intention of trying to hide from them..."
 

"Nonsense! This isn't hiding - this is guarding. This is the most secure facility on the planet, I assure you of that. No one is going to be getting in or out without our say so, you have my word. With you here, these 'Phantom Thieves' will find themselves with quite a nasty surprise on their hands."
 

Sae raised an eyebrow, but the prosecutor was obviously anything but convinced. "I'm... impressed that such a well guarded location exists here..." She said, trying to choose her words carefully. "But the Thieves have proven themselves quite resourceful. And their methods are unlike anything we've seen before. How can you be so confident that this... bunker, will hold them back?"
 

The man chuckled. "Oh, we have a few tricks up our sleeves, believe me Miss Niijima. We've developed some interesting theories on cognitive manipulation we're eager to test. The Phantom Thieves won't know what hit them. Tonight, when they come for your 'heart', their little crime spree will be brought to an end - again, you have my word."
 

The silver haired woman frowned. He was obviously hiding something from her - something she was sure she wouldn't like. But she had little choice but to listen to him for the moment. As soon as she'd reported that she'd found a calling card, she'd been ordered to come to this location and follow the instructions of the man who met her here precisely. It definitely wasn't an order she cared for, but her hands were tied. At least he seemed harmless enough - some kind of scientist, judging by his clothes and ill-tamed hair. But something about him bothered her...
 

"So what is it you want me to do?" She finally asked. They were getting quite far underground now, descending various slopes and stairwells. At every door, guards were posted, and more and more figures were running around in uniforms Sae didn't recognize. It gave her a bad feeling. Another one to add to the pile.
 

"Oh, not much I'm afraid," the man admitted with a shrug. "This might be rather boring for you. We simply need you to wait in our most secure room for the night. Once the Thieves are dealt with, you'll be free to leave."
 

"... So I'm to sit quietly and hope that all of... this." She waved a hand at the admittedly well equipped facility around them. "Is enough to save my mind? That doesn't sound very enticing. I was hoping to at least confront the thieves myself."
 

"Oh, I'm sure you will, in your own way." The scientist's glasses glinted. "As for enticing... Well. Perhaps I can arrange some entertainment for the duration of your stay..."
 

----
 

The room she was to stay in - her feelings on the matter be damned, obviously - was almost insulting bare. Grey walls, grey carpet, a grey chair, a grey TV - at least the TV was a decent size. It seemed like the only thing in the room that wasn't a mind numbing shade of grey was a mirror along one of the walls - one which she could only assume was a viewing window on the other side.
 

"So this is how I'll be spending my evening, huh?" She muttered, looking around with her hands on her hips. The chair looked comfortable, there was that. A rounded arm chair - actually it might even have been a recliner, on closer examination. Still... "I hope the Thieves show up sooner rather than later if it'll get me out of this..."
 

It we an odd sentiment, but Sae was already chaffing under all these impositions. She wasn't a woman who liked to be in situations she couldn't control, and that seemed to be her life more and more ever since the Phantom Thieves case had been dropped into her lap. The long hours, the interviews, the frustrating leads, the boy detectives... Sae was very ready for this whole thing to be over and done with, though obviously there were a few questions she had to know the answer to before she could let it all lie...
 

Ugh. She'd left so suddenly, too. Would Makoto be worried about her at home? How could she not be? But even if she had a phone to call her with, the odds of getting reception down here were slim to none...
 

With a powerful sigh, she slumped down into the chair. It was going to be a long night.
 

A quiet chime pierced the air, ringing through the grey room and lingering in the ears long after it had passed. Sae blinked and looked up. The TV had turned itself on, displaying a strange image of black, jagged bars curling inwards over a bright pink background, steadily spinning around the center of the screen. The colors seemed to pulse, thrumming through bright, high intensity before settling back into low, dark sedition every few seconds. It almost gave her a headache to look at it.
 

"You're kidding," she muttered. "This is supposed to be my 'entertainment'? It looks like they've found a new way to break a TV."
 

"Wrong on both counts, Miss Niijima!" The irritatingly familiar voice of her guide crackled through the TV's speakers. "The television isn't broken - in fact, you'll find it's been enhanced in quite a fascinating way. The product of an unexpected research opportunity in Inaba. As for your entertainment, I'm afraid it will be a while longer, but you will certainly enjoy it when it gets here."
 

"Uh huh. Well I'm sure these enhancements are very impressive to you, but they're giving me a headache. How do I shut it off?" She didn't see a button anywhere, or a power cord, and the remote wasn't anywhere to be found.
 

"Oh, now don't be like that. Give it some time, I'm sure you'll come around. All of our previous subjects have said the experience was quite ... relaxing."
 

"Subjects?" That sounded worrying. "Subjects of what?" She glared at the mirror. "I'm not here to be experimented on."
 

"No, no, of course. Forgive me, I misspoke. I meant guests. But do give the show a chance. Here, I'll feed the audio in as well. You'll see what I mean."
 

"That won't be-" Sae tried to object, but soft music began to play anyway, and she sat back with a frustrated sigh, massaging her temples. This day was just getting worse and worse. But if it got them the Phantom Thieves, it would all be worth it. She just had to keep her eyes on the prize - and not on that headache inducing spiral, thank you.
 

So, trying her best to set her irritation aside, the prosecutor sat back, leaning into her chair and closing her eyes. She didn't have anything else to do for the moment, and while she absolutely wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight, she figured that she might as well try to relax. Thankfully the music really was the calming kind, some slow, gentle melody played with synth and bells - not something she'd put on herself, but inoffensive enough to lay back to.
 

Actually... Now that she was listening closely, with nothing else to distract her, she thought she could hear something else... words... lyrics? How strange, why would lyrics be so quiet? She could barely hear them...
 

<Relax>
 

Yes- Maybe- No? It was like trying to listen to someone whispering on the other side of a thick door. Her brow wrinkled as she tried to concentrate, this strange hissing underneath the song starting to nettle her now. Was it words or static?
 

<Relax>
 

Sae took another deep breath, letting the cool air fill her lungs slowly before steadily releasing it. Calm down. She was not going to let a little static bother her. She was in for a long night, the last thing she needed was to stress out over a song of all things.
 

<Ignore the words and relax>
 

Who cared if there were lyrics, anyway? It didn't matter. If they'd recorded this song quietly it was no concern of hers. She <Relax>ed into the chair, putting the matter from her mind. Maybe she could think about something else. She had a few other cases in her docket, the Phantom Thieves didn't run her life. Sure, she didn't have any of the paperwork with her right now-
 

<Stupid Slut>
 

- stupid of her to forget to bring it really... Wait...
 

Confused, Sae's eyes blinked open. She felt strange. Angry for some reason, as though she'd just been insulted. But no one had said anything... Was she angry at herself? For not bringing her paperwork with her? Sure, it was a little
 

<Airheaded>
 

of her, but that was hardly a reason to... to...
 

Blinking, the silver haired woman put a hand to her head. She was feeling very spacey all of a sudden. "Can you turn that music off please?" She finally asked. "It's making it..."
 

<Hard to think>
 

"... Hard to think in here."
 

There was no answer, and the music continued to play. Grunting, Sae turned her eyes back to the tv. Maybe she'd missed an off switch when she'd glanced at it before. But as she looked, her gaze fell back on the pink swirling spiral, and for the second time she felt the image twist in her brain. But now it felt different. It
 

<Feels good to watch>
 

Felt... nice... Weird, but... good...
 

<Relax>
 

She started to relax again, resting in her chair, eyes lazily focused on the screen.
 

<Watch>
 

The twisting patterns on the screen had somehow become fascinating to her, and as she began to pay attention, she thought she could see actual images hidden in them. The more she watched, the more she saw. It was like one of those old magic eye pictures. Let yourself go out of focus and you could see...
 

... Boobs?
 

<Horny>
 

Sae blinked slowly, her mouth oddly dry. She felt peculiar. Hot. Strange images were flashing though her mind - or, or were they on the TV? She wasn't sure anymore. Everything felt so uncertain, and she
 

<Can't think>
 

couldn't think through this strange haze, she was just too
 

<Dumb>
 

dumb to- no, wait, she wasn't dumb! She was just
 

<So horny>
 

so horny and
 

<So stupid>
 

so stupid that... that...

<Dumb bimbo>
 

She... she was...
 

<Can't think>
 

She couldn't... She couldn't...
 

<Watch and learn>
 

Her eyes locked onto the spiral, dozens of images flashing within it now. Confused looking blondes, mathematical jargon, giant bouncing breasts, strippers dancing on poles, long strings of complicated gibberish, whores sucking cock, cheerleaders bouncing, women twirling their hair...
 

Each shot lasted less than a millisecond, each one blurring past so quickly Sae wasn't sure she'd even seen them. But then, she wasn't sure of anything anymore, and with each passing second it was becoming harder and harder to thi-
 

<Don't think>
 

to thi-
 

<Don't think>
 

to-
 

<Don't think. Stupid whore>
 

She was such a stupid whore...
 

<Watch and learn>
 

She had to watch and learn.
 

<Don't think>
 

She couldn't think.
 

<Bimbo>
 

She was a...
 

<Bimbo>
 

... a ...
 

<Bimbo>
 

A bimbo...
 

A soft sigh escaped Sae's lips as her jaw went slack, her body falling limp against the chair. Her chest steadily rose and fell, the only sign of life in her - aside from her eyes, which stared rigidly, almost unblinking, into the spiral - into her destiny.
 

And inside her head, things began to change...
 

-----
P5: Dumb Luck
-----
 

The battle was finally going in the Phantom Thieves favor. Sae's shadow had pulled out all the stops in trying to prevent them from getting this far, rigging game after game, setting up delay upon delay, but now, at last, they were engaged in direct combat. Here the team had a pretty solid advantage, even if they couldn't let their guards down. The Shadow's 'Leviathan' form - a black knight with a chain-gun and a massive blade - was a deadly threat, but the team had faced plenty of those over the past few months, and they were ready to go the distance.
 

And then something odd happened. In the middle of a burst of machine gun fire - thank god these outfits were mostly bullet proof! - the shadow... stumbled.
 

"What...?" Her echoing voice sounded confused, but the Thieves had no time to question their fortune.
 

"She's down!" Oracle yelled, closely monitoring everything from her UFO on the back lines. "Do it!"
 

"You heard the lady." Joker's confidence filled his voice. "It's time for an All Out Attack!"
 

"N-no, wait-" Sea's Leviathan form shuddered and stuttered. "Something's not-" But it was far too late. The Thieves smashed down upon their weakened foe in a shooting blur of violence, striking at her from every angle and turning her stumble into a collapse. Down she fell, her black armor and weapons crumbling away into the dark shadows from whence they came, leaving a dazed woman with yellow eyes in an open opera dress and wide, wide brimmed hat laying on the ground.
 

"The Show’s Over!" Joker sounded relieved - they all did. The battle had been rough, and it had been a long journey up to this point.
 

Of course, not everyone could let themselves rest just yet. "Sis!" The biker-girl thief ran to her sister's shadow's side, trying to help her sit up. "Are you okay?"
 

Crow, of course, raised an eyebrow. "That's only a shadow. Why are you so...?" 
 

"Quiet!" Anne hissed.
 

"...Sorry."
 

"We'll go grab the treasure." Skull and Fox nodded to the others, before dashing past the fallen guardian while Queen attended to her sister. They were here for a reason, after all.
 

"Makoto...?" The shadow sounded lost. Queen tried not to grimace - it was strange to hear her sister's voice so uncertain. "Makoto, no, you have to..."
 

"Shhh." Makoto took off her mask and hugged her sister. "It's okay. Listen... I don't think it's wrong to bring light to evils which can't be judged by law. That's all the Phantom Thieves have been trying to do too! But these aggressive investigations? Twisting the truth-"
 

"Makoto!" The Shadow interrupted her, a weak hand grasping her shoulder. Shocked, the thief looked into her sister's eyes - and felt her heart start to hammer as she saw pure terror within them. "You have to run!"
 

"What?"
 

But Makoto's confusion was interrupted as the retrieval squad returned, Skull brandishing a metal case. "We found it!"
 

Crow nodded. "The investigation will now be able to proceed. The suspicions against you will be lifted as well."
 

Makoto wasn't listening. She was still focused on her sister. "Guys? I think something's wrong."
 

"You have to get out, before it's... ngh..." The shadow cradled her head, as if struck by sudden pain.
 

"What do you mean?" Noir gripped her arm nervously. The last time things had gone wrong in a shadow palace it had been devastating for her - she had no desire to see the same fate befall Makoto!
 

Morgana was more decisive. "Oracle, do you read anything?"
 

And of course, Futaba was already at work. "Yeah, let me- Huh!?" Her hands flew up to her visor. "Enemy readings! When did they...!?" She looked around at everyone. "They're gathering outside!"
 

"For real!?" Skull cursed. "What the hell's goin' on!?"
 

Screens opened up around Futaba, hanging in the air and displaying countless layers of data - all of which showed how screwed they were. "Look at those numbers," Fox whispered, as though speaking any louder might bring the gathering enemy force straight down on their heads.
 

"This doesn't look good..." Anne sighed, tired, but quietly confident they'd find a way out.
 

"We defeated the palace ruler and even stole the treasure, yet the shadows are still restless..." Morgana mumbled to himself. "It doesn't make any sense... What's going on here!?"
 

"There are more coming!?" As their Oracle, Futaba was no shortage of bad news. "This'll be dangerous if we don't do something... Huh?" She frowned as an odd signal crackled over her speakers.
 

"We need to go now!" Morgana's tone left no room for argument. "Those guys in black suits are almost here. We'll be done for if we get surrounded!"
 

"Please... Makoto..." The shadow drew a sharp breath as she clutched at her sister. "You have to run..."
 

"It'll be okay sis," Queen assured her, before looking up at the others. "A team this large will be discovered immediately. We had best split up for our escape..." She paused, and then grimaced. "Although... We'll need someone to act as a decoy... No, that's too dangerous."
 

But their leader was already on the move. "Go, everyone. I'll handle this."
 

"Joker!?" Queen's voice was panicked, and she looked like she'd be chasing after him if she wasn't still supporting her sister. "Are you planning on distracting them by yourself!?"
 

Skull was the one who spoke up. "Let him do it, Queen," he said. "He's quiet, but once his mind's made up, he's not gonna take no for an answer." And, to put action behind his words, he tossed the metal treasure case through the air to the man, who caught it with a nod. "I know you ain't gonna die. It's you we're talkin' about here!"
 

Sensing the time for argument had passed, Noir let out a sad sigh. "Please don't do anything reckless, okay?"
 

Panther was more direct. "I'll never forgive you if you don't make it back!"
 

"We still haven't fulfilled our deal, remember," Morgana added, throwing his chip on the pile.
 

"Even more are coming!" Futaba was still scanning, hurrying their goodbyes. "And there's something else! Something strange is gaining to the palace, you have to be careful!"
 

"This truly is a painfully reluctant parting," Fox muttered, clasping Joker's arm briefly to wish him luck.
 

"It seems we had best hurry," Crow finished the goodbyes with a troubled frown. They weren't his strongest subject.
 

"Get out, before it's too late..."
 

Joker and Queen's eyes met. Her worry - both for her sister, and for him, was obvious. "... We'll see you later." She managed, hoping it would be true. He sent her a confident wink in return - and then he started to sprint.
 

A lot of plans would be colliding tonight. It would be one hell of a mess to clean up come morning.
 

-
 

"There's someone up there!"
 

Joker's feet pounded the floor, not hesitating for a moment even as he jumped through the lights and decorations hanging from the casino ceiling. He could feel his pursuers chasing him - shadows, or actual agents of the conspiracy? He had no idea. It didn't really matter, either way his job was the same - distract them all long enough to get everyone else out, and then... Well, after that he was going to have a very unpleasant evening. Hopefully Sae wouldn't be too upset at the interrogation table after having her subconscious beaten black and blue.
 

"This way!"
 

Aha, no time for worrying about that though - he had to focus on running this chase out as long as he could. With another death defying jump - which was fortunately much, much easier to perform in the metaverse than it was in the real world - he landed on a railing and-
 

The world flickered pink
 

- stumbled as what had been a carpeted balcony overlooking the casino proper was suddenly part of a whole upper floor white-stone walkway, that was lined with a bizarre series of shops and clubs -
 

And then it flickered back
 

- before just a suddenly it was a balcony again.
 

"The hell...?"
 

"After him!"
 

Damnit, there was no time to hang around and work out what that had been. Joker took off, rushing down an Employee's Only passage and vanishing into the backstage of the casino. "Oracle, what just happened!?"
 

"I don't know!" Was the rather worrying response in his ear. "Something really weird is going on. Parts of the palace are shifting around. I'm looking for the cause - keep going for now, and be careful!"
 

Well, he could certainly do that. He knew the passages of the casino well by now, they'd mapped it out extensively for this very reason. But he soon noticed something was wrong here as well. Passages weren't where he expected them to be, or rooms were outright missing. Was the palace collapsing? It shouldn't have been, they hadn't actually stolen the treasure yet, but...
 

Pink
 

The world flashed again, and suddenly Joker collided with a rack of clothing that had not been there two seconds previously. He hit the floor with a smothered crash, a small pile of pink fabric softening the blow, and found himself struggling to free himself from a tangle of... pink underwear?
 

He shoved himself up, flicking a pair of lace panties off his shoulder - only to then notice that his shoulder wasn't covered by his normal long black coat. Instead, he was in his casual clothes - black jacket, jeans, and no mask. Instead of the Phantom Thief Joker, he was just... himself.
 

"Oracle." He hissed, looking around wildly even as he kept his voice calm. He was in a clothing store, apparently - one that catered mainly to people with a fascination for the color pink. "I've lost my disguise."
 

"Crap! Something must be happening to Sae's cognition - did she stop registering you as an enemy?"
 

"No idea." Footsteps. People were coming. He started looking around for a place to hide. "Can you think of a fix?"
 

"Uh..." He heard the sound of rapid typing. "Queen's still with her shadow, maybe- No, that'd take too long. Joker, the area you're in is really unstable. It might fix itself back up but I wouldn't count on it - You have to get out of there!"
 

"Working on it." There! The changing room! He darted inside, pushing the curtain closed just before his pursuit burst through the shop's front door.
 

Pink
 

"Like, is there anyone in here?" A female voice asked as the world flickered. Joker didn't answer, of course, remaining deathly silent as he pushed himself into a corner of the cubicle, the most concealed spot from the door, just in case they peeked inside.
 

"I dunno... I don't see anyone?" Another voice, very much like the first, answered. "Oh, but someone totally knocked over the bra display!"
 

Damnit!
 

"Oh, wow, lame! Who could've done that? Do you think the intruder came through here?" They had to be shadows, Joker assumed - it was hard to imagine real law enforcement types talking this way.
 

"Maybe. We should do, like, a search or something!"
 

"Cool!"
 

Great. Just great. If these two found him without his disguise then he'd be screwed - completely unable to fight them, and completely pinned in. He just had to hope that they didn't think to check back here. Shadows could usually be counted on to miss the obvious - as long as that curtain stayed closed, he'd be-
 

"Hey, what about back here?" The first voice asked, a dark hand with pink nails curling around the edge of the curtain door.
 

Joker bit his lip to stop himself swearing.
 

But then, salvation. "Nah," the second voice said, and he could hear the shadow shaking its head. "No way."
 

"Huh?" The hand retreated, much to the thief's relief. "Why not?"
 

"Because, silly!" The shadows voices were getting further away now, but he could still hear them giggling. "That's a girl's changing room! We're looking for a boy, duh."
 

Pink
 

Suddenly, Joker felt hot. As in, boiling hot, like he was wearing fifteen layers in a sauna. He gasped for breath, slumping against the cubicle wall, sitting heavily on the small bench provided there, only barely aware that the shadows might not be gone yet. What was happening - some kind of status effect?
 

But it was more than that. The heat came with a burst of static in his ears, and a gathering of flame in his heart. His body felt like it was melting, morphing, being shaped. It was as though he could feel the heat expanding inside him, pushing out in his chest and hips, while a strange... coolness ran between his legs, sinking inside of him...
 

And then as suddenly as it started, it was over. Joker blinked, and stood up.
 

And nearly fell over.
 

Strange. His balance was off. His legs felt weird, and his head felt heavy, and his chest was...
 

His chest was...
 

Blinking, the thief reached up - momentarily appreciating the fact that his thief disguise, gloves included, had returned - and patted his chest, meeting quite a bit of unexpected resistance. He looked down. Yep. Those were boobs.
 

His hands then reached down into his pants, and - yep. Yep. Yep. All gone. And that part there was new. Yep.
 

Calmly, she noted her hair had also grown from its usual short cut right the way down to the small of her back as she tapped the communicator in her ear. "Oracle?"
 

Huh. Her voice was quite a bit higher now too.
 

"Hold on, I'm busy with- wait, who is this? How did you get on this line!?" Apparently Futaba thought so too, her attitude instantly turning hostile.
 

Well she was kind of used to that. Her friends were a dramatic bunch. "It's me."
 

"It's- Joker!?!" There was more furious typing. "What the hell- how!?"
 

Wasn't that just the question? "I'm not sure. I lost my clothes, hid out in a girl's changing room, now I'm a girl."
 

"And a stacked one too!" Oracle's whistle echoed down the line. "Damn, you found a tg booth! Man, the net would freak-"
 

"Futaba."
 

"Right, right, sorry! Uh! Wait, okay, you lost your clothes, yeah? Mona always said that our costumes would protect us against all this weird cognitive crap. Maybe losing yours made you… vulnerable? I mean I’m guessing, but it’s as good a guess as any… M-maybe if you get out of the palace it'll revert?"
 

Joker looked down at herself, and then turned to look in the changing room mirror. Yep. Absolutely female. No doubt about it. "Maybe?"
 

"I dunno! This is new even for us. But hey, if you're stuck like that I'll be happy to help you figure out your new underwear needs and all that."
 

"... Appreciated, I guess. Is the coast clear?"
 

Oracle sighed. "That's our unflappable leader. Yeah, I think so, but the place is still swarming. Be careful out there!"
 

It wasn't like their situation had changed. She still needed to provide a distraction so that the others could escape, being a she didn't change that. Though she really hoped these changes would revert before anyone else found out - Futaba alone was going to be unbearable. Ryuji would be a nightmare, and Yusuke would probably... want her to model or something. Brrr.
 

Yeah she definitely had to get out of here.
 

So, poking her head out and seeing that the coast was indeed clear, she charged, her darting speed apparently unaffected by her switch in genders. Quickly she shifted through and around the clothing racks and over counters, before reaching the front door and slipping out. What greeted her on the other side was not as reassuring as she'd hoped, though. The casino was gone - and in its place a white marble mall seemed to stretch in all directions.
 

"Oracle, I'm in the main palace. The casino is gone, what's happening here?"
 

"I don't - bzt - hing's happen - brt - ear me?" The line crackled with static, making Joker dizzy just listening to it.
 

"Oracle?"
 

"-range signal coming in, I'm-"
 

The line went dead.
 

Joker bit back another curse. This couldn't be going any worse right now. The palace was changing, their communications were being jammed, she was a girl, and-
 

"Over there!"
 

- and she was still being chased! Great!
 

She looked up. There was a pair of - uh. Well, they were shadows, but they were definitely a new breed from any she'd seen before. They were shaped like busty women, but these ones were clad in denim short skirts and blue button-up shirts, long blonde hair streaming down their backs from beneath blue flat caps, with shiny golden badges bouncing on their... chests.
 

Mall cop shadows. Now there was a thing.
 

"Hey! Thief! Like, stop right there!"
 

She spun around. Damnit. There were two more of them coming from the other direction. A glance down told her it was way, way too far to jump to the next level of the mall... Which left just one option.
 

"Alright..." She muttered, getting ready to spring. At least she had her powers at the moment. "Let's go, girls."
 

They charged, two from either side, and she jumped, kicking off the wall and landing on the lead shadow's back, fingers already digging under her mask in one well practiced motion. Heh. She grinned as she tore the mask away, unleashing the creature's weakened true form and launching their battle. For a moment there she'd been worried that her new assets would throw her off, but it was going to take more than a few extra melons to tumble this thief!
 

Of course, when the battle started she felt her confidence take a heavy knock. She was surrounded, she'd expected that much - but she hadn't expected her enemies to be entirely new shadows to her. She'd thought she knew every monster that lurked in Sae's subconscious, but clearly she'd been wrong - or were these strange pink waves responsible for all of this, too? Well whatever the reason, she now found herself facing down four...
 

... Swimsuit models with police sirens on their heads? No, seriously, she'd seen some weird stuff in the metaverse, but these girls were going to be hard to take seriously. She swore she could hear their breasts bouncing from over here. If Skull had been here he would have been drooling. Mona too, for that matter. They were wearing practically nothing save for white and blue bikinis...
 

But the real reason she was worried was that she didn't know their weaknesses. Dealing with four on one was going to be tricky, especially without Oracle or Mona to back her up. But none the less...
 

Well, she had to win. "Sorry girls," she said, drawing her gun. "Not playing around today." And she opened fire.
 

... Only to watch with shock as every single bullet bounced harmlessly off their bikinis.
 

"Wh- seriously!?" Her jaw dropped. Damn, for them to be immune to gun attacks...
 

"These babies are bullet-proof!" One of the models giggled, patting her chest, not clarifying if she meant her swimsuit or her breasts. Could have been either, really. "Let's see about you! Mwah!" She put a hand to her lips and blew a loud kiss - which was accompanied by a pair of giant lip marks flying through the air and smacking Joker in the face, knocking her flat on her ass.
 

"Ugh..." A psi attack? Crap, she was weak to those. The dazed thief put a hand to her head, trying to steady her thoughts. She needed to switch personas before she really started taking a-huh?
 

A sudden weight in her lap had her looking up - only to find a pair of boobs shoved in her face. "Mmm, I have the criminal subdued," the shadow on top of her giggled. "Time for her rehabilitation~"
 

Wait... What? Joker struggled to think through the dazed haze of being knocked down. This wasn't right. Normal shadows didn't act this way! "What are you d-mmp!"
 

A finger pressed firmly against her lips. "Hush, criminal. You've been, like, super bad - totally not slutty enough! But we're feeling nice, so we're were going to let you off with some community service!" The model cop winked.
 

That sounded bad. She had to get up. She had to-Mmph!
 

The shadow bent down and forced their lips together, a pink and tingly kiss that pushed its way into her mouth and shoved her objections back down her throat. Then the model retreated, her sisters moving in to flank her, sinister grins on their faces. "Come on girls - It's time for an All Out Attack!"
 

Uh oh.
 

What followed was a blur of blue and pink, a swarm of identical figures descending on the helpless thief and... and...
 

And she wasn't sure what to make of it. She was expecting violence, a rain of blows that'd test the limits of her endurance, but instead their touches were gentle, even considerate, and definitely, definitely confusing, filled with the same pink tingling feeling as the kiss. Already dazed, the sudden spread of pleasant warmth sapped any hope she had of resisting as they started to get to work. Fingers slipped under her belt, steadily pulling her pants down her legs, along with everything beneath. Firm hands lifted her jacket away, and her shirt a moment later. Even her gloves were tugged apart from her, leaving her completely naked.
 

And then a denim skirt was slid up her legs and squeezed around her ass, with a nice pair of heels slipped on to her feet. A blue shirt was buttoned around her chest, a golden badge hung just above her breasts. And a blue cap was placed on her head, her hair neatly brushed into long, luscious ebony locks beneath it.
 

By the time her mind cleared of its pink haze, the battlefield had vanished, and she was stood back on the mall walkway, dressed as a mall cop. "Huh!?"
 

A slutty mall cop, at that!
 

"Welcome to the force, officer!" She wasn't alone, either. The shadows that had been chasing her earlier were still gathered around. "We're glad to have you aboard."
 

"Uh." Okay. Okay. She could play this out. She just needed to make it to the exit. At this point she could handle the humiliation, but if she didn’t leave this very second, she had a feeling that she never would at all. It wasn’t something she could explain, just a weird feeling of… pressure.
 

“So!” Joker tried, and failed, to not ‘Eep!’ as the shadow smacked her ass, making her jump half a foot in the air. “Get out there on patrol and make sure everyone’s acting good and slutty, and you’ll be rehab-rehabo… fixed in no time!”
 

They giggled, and she found herself giggling along with them, that strange pressure growing a firmer grip. “Um. So, uh… Cool!” She flashed a nervous smile. “Um. What should I do if I find someone… unslutty enough?” Whatever the hell was going on in Sae’s head could be dealt with later – if she had a way to distract the guards from the others now, she would exploit it with vengeance.
 

“Mmm…” The shadow put a finger up to her mask, where her lips would be if she had any. “Welllll, only if it’s a really, really bad case. If it’s a minor offense you can let them go with a warning, like this~”
 

The shadow swept in, and before Joker could move she felt those lips press against hers once again, filling her head with that fizzy pink feeling. She swooned, unfamiliar sensations ravaging her unfamiliar body, and gasped for breath as soon as the shadow let her go – not noticing the way her top felt a little tighter, or the few strands of blonde that now ran through her hair.
 

“O-oh…” She managed, still trying to get her breath back. Her head felt so fuzzy now. She felt so distant. So… so… <Dumb>…
 

A memory rose up through the tangle of her thoughts. Something that cutie- Something that Futaba had said. Something about her thief disguise protecting her from the cognition of the palace? But her disguise was gone now…
 

“Or…” The Shadow leaned in again, putting her arm around Joker’s tight little waist, a hand cupping her plump behind. “For a second timer, you could do something like this…” And the hand, with its pink painted nails, gave her ass a firm squeeze, drawing a hot moan from Joker’s suddenly pink lips. Which was then turned into a delighted squeal as the shadow’s other hand slid up to grope her expanding chest. “Mmm, you like that?”
 

“U-uh-huh…” Blonde hair was dangling in front of Joker’s face now, causing her to pout in horny confusion. Like, where was all this hair coming from? She had black hair, didn’t she? … Didn’t she? For some reason her head was feeling all sticky and full of pink and stuff, too sticky to think, to pink to think. Maybe it was because she was such an <Airhead>… Was she a blonde, and she’d just forgot?
 

“And…” The Shadow’s voice was hushed, her masked face just by Joker’s ear. Any questions the thief had about her hair were instantly forgotten, her breath hitching as she leaned in to listen. Her body was so hot, so warm and wet and weird and she knew that she wanted whatever this Shadow had so badly, she was so <Horny>…
 

“If their crime is really, really serious…”
 

<Don’t think>
 

“Y-yeah…?”
 

<Stupid whore>
 

“Then you just…” Fingers slid under her skirt. She wasn’t wearing any panties underneath.
 

<Bimbo>
 

Wet lips she didn’t know she had slid open. Firm, delightful digits slipped inside a passage she’d forgotten about. A warm, gentle thumb slid against a clit she hadn’t noticed. And Jok-
 

<Bimbo>
 

Jo-
 

<Bimbo>
 

J-
 

<Bimbo>
 

The nameless bimbo melted, climaxing over her fellow mall cop’s fingers instantly with a cry of delight, her full, lusciously blonde hair swaying out behind her as a button ‘pinged’ off her shirt, her breasts bouncing firmly in their new cleavage space, and her denim skirt strained to keep her now full and plump rear contained within.
 

Giggling, the shadow withdrew her fingers and, despite lacking a mouth, licked them clean. “Think you can handle that?”
 

Smiling with giddy bliss, the bimbo cop that had once been the leader of the Phantom Thieves nodded with a spacey look in her glazed eyes. “Uh huh~”

“Great!” She got another smack to the ass, sending her strutting forward in her dark heels, ass swaying from side to side like a pendulum. “Then go get ‘em, babe!”
 

Mmm, yes. There were so many confused shadows and cognitions, and even thieves out there who weren’t acting anywhere near slutty enough. And nothing would delight this bimbo more than catching and educating every single one of them.
 

This show was just getting started~