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There’s always a calming presence to a graveyard. Something about a final resting place, it always seems so stagnant, unchanging. This was the main reason a friend and I went out there. Just to relax and talk away from all the hubbub of the city. This place was respected by every living creature around it to just be. Little did the graveyard know not everything around it was actually alive.

As I went to go take a leak I noticed a movement in the trees. quietly it subsided and I went right back onto my business until the moonlight was eclipsed and the only figure I could make out stood 3 times my size and carried a hulking paddle. I tried to run but it scooped me up by my underwear leaving me in an embarrassing wedgie letting me dangle as the cotton rode up my ass tighter and tighter. As he did he sat down giving a few practice shots to the air before he lined up his real swing. The only thing that crossed my mind was I hope my friend could escape this as well.

But obviously, he didn’t..

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HaxSmacks

Also shout out to my Bud Rudy! for taking that goliath the same that I did