Chapter 35: Introspection. (Patreon)

Chapter 35: Introspection.

Great.

Just (Gnome)ing great.

Everyone I’d saved wanted me dead or gone. Despite me doing everything I could to save them. Despite me literally flying to their recuse with little to no regard for my own safety. Despite all the blood I shed for their sake.

It was as if I were following the same trail as Sarcophagus Solomon. Trapped in a loop where I was destined to lose everyone I gathered to my side.

Was that it? Was this all some great game played by an eldritch monstrosity instead of a shadow government program? Did some tentacled pervert delight in seeing me crying all by my lonesome?

‘What did you expect? You’re a creep in a red astronaut suit going around with a parade of monsters at your beck and call. If anything, you should be glad none of them were smart enough to ambush you when you were sleeping.’

 As if reading my mind, Slab joins me and suggests that maybe him and his sisters should take turns guarding my oh so important person while I rest.

“Knock yourself out. Its not as though I value my privacy overmuch. I mean, heck, lets take it one step further. The three of us should shower together. Afterwards, one of you could give me massages while the other rubs my feet.”

“Yes. Absolutely. I’m glad we’re in agreement.”

“I was joking.”

“I wasn’t. Well, maybe a little. Still, you must have guards. No one in my clan would ever be stupid enough to hurt or even inconvenience a Shepherd. There is always too much at stake. This lot are not my people however. They’re blind, deaf and dumber than a bag of rocks. How else could you explain the way they swarmed their saviors? None of them stopped to think about how much you’ve done for them. About how much you could still do in the future. As if they forgot about the thousands of monsters waiting outside the vault door. No, better to be safe than sorry.”

“We probably wouldn’t need to be so worried if you hadn’t threatened to murder one of them.”

“That would’ve been justice, not murder. Murder is what raiders do to the people they rob. It is what the strong do to the weak they should have been protecting. It tears away bits from the fabric of our fragile society. Justice is the opposite. It is the righting of a wrong. If a man tried to kill fifty or seventy people in a fit of rage, they deserve to be put down. It’s the only way to protect what little we have.”

“That’s not what happened.”

“With all due respect, Shepherd. That’s exactly what happened. Without you, most of the people here wouldn’t be free in the first place. If you happened to die, the monsters outside would keep us trapped until the time you foretold, when we’re all sent away to our own worlds. What do you suppose would follow? When we inevitably return? That is, for those lucky enough to return. Me and my sister would have died fighting like in your vision. Do you think Charlie and Monique are enough to keep these fools alive?”

“It wouldn’t take much. They could hold out here as long as they have store tokens for food.”

“If they return at this location. What happens if they don’t? What happens every person returns to the spot where they first entered the Labyrinth?”

That was an unwelcome notion. My mind began to conjure the images before I could stop it. 

“That’s enough of hypotheticals for now. I need a drink.”

“I have water right here.” Slab answered at once, pulling out a leathery bag from his belt.

“No. Not water. Not right now. I need something with a kick after the day I’ve had. Follow me into the bar.”

Slab rushed to serve, eager as always, though still holding on to a bit of solemnness.

Naturally, we turned the knobs with the utmost caution and immediately ran backwards in case literal lava started falling on the tiled floor.

No such thing happened.

In front of us was an actual bar with actual screens showing replays of our recent conquests against the beetle and the gnomes.

The stools were clean and well-made. The marble countertop was smooth. The glasses on the racks were tall and thick, easily twice the size of those I was used to. Behind the counter were nozzles connected to a glittering panel which gave a list of options and their prices.

They had everything; from regular beers I was familiar with, to different kinds of drinks under the umbrella of “Moonshine.” Which were further subdivided into tart, sweet, sour, somewhat lethal, very lethal, and extremely lethal.

They also had options called: Pure Ethanol, Lab-grade disinfectant, Hand Sanitizer and Certain Death.

Another screen to the right had options for cocktails, ranging from mixtures with juices, other beers or liqueurs and even milkshakes, coffee and ice-cream.

Unsurprisingly, these were slightly more expensive, with each drink costing upwards of 25 to 50 Store Tokens apiece. The most egregious example was an option labelled: ‘Elixir of Dimensional Transcendence’, which cost a whopping 500, 000 Store Tokens.

‘Sully? Are you crying?’

I reflexively reached out to wipe the tears away at that comment but hit Buddy’s transparent helmet segment. He was still stretched out over me in the form of an astronaut suit and I calmy asked him to free my head.

The first one I had, was a black malted beer. The kind Henry insisted on every time we went out with Vince and Luigi. It costed ten Tokens per serving but I was far past the point of caring.

Especially since I’d confirmed that alcohol didn’t count as a mind-altering effect according to the System. Otherwise, my Title would have negated it. Perhaps because it was a chemical reaction causing the numbness instead of a power?

Meh, who cares.

I don’t think anything had ever tasted so sweet.

Slab had the same kind, but pulled away as soon his lips touched the glass.

“Dear Shepherd! This is swill! I wouldn’t feed this to my dogs!”

I ignored him and had another and another and another. I washed the beer down with some tequila shots. Relishing the way all the stress left my body. How I didn’t feel the gnawing hatred at myself anymore. A couple of cocktails went down after that, vodka laced with mango in one glass and orange juice in the other. Hours were passing by much faster now. Time slipping away like a lover in the night.

I felt whole again. If a little awkward. I’d actually forgotten how good stiff drinks were at loosening me up. It had been my go-to salve after Doris died. The only way I could stop the constant self-flagellation.

I knew it wasn’t my fault. I knew it, her father knew it, all my friends knew it. Heck, all her vapid friends knew it. All the same, the self-loathing could only be assuaged by the drinks.

‘Would you be happy now Doris? Seeing you ex all sad and saggy? Having to run marathons day and night while dodging traps and monsters at every turn? Did you ever really love me? Heh! That might be an even crueler notion. I think. If I was another warm body, well. Enhancers are better built and better suited to anything that might be required of a partner. That’s a fact everyone knows. I could live with that. But if you loved me, that love wasn’t anywhere close to the sheen on Mason’s abs. Yes. That would be more painful.’

Sadness swelled through my very being as I made my way to the washrooms. My feet were a teensy bit unsteady. A whole month without drinking having taken a toll on my practised “pretend to be sober” gait.

It was fine. I still had my dour bodyguard next to me and Dusty wasn’t far behind.

‘Man, Henry and Luigi would be laughing their asses off if they saw me now.’

Thankfully, a few hours had done much and more to quell any visible unrest. There was still the invisible unrest to worry about but I’d also been smart enough o turn off my fog. Some doors were better off closed.

Monique was taking tallies of all our new supplies. Trying to decide how much the System could be trusted in so far as keeping us fed. She was wearing a symbiote now too, one that took the shape of a sleek mountaineering outfit. Most did not seem to like her gruff demeanor and her, shall we say, overly honest bluntness. Perhaps she was trying to create a functional status quo before anyone got it in their heads to start slacking off. Or perhaps this was the obvious result of her own experiences back home.

Ryan was making the rounds too. Talking with all the rescued people, shaking their hands and nodding gravely at their stories. He said kind words. Made soft-spoken reassurances, even jotted down notes on a writing pad he’d gotten from somewhere. It was just what the doctor ordered. People came to him eagerly, where they previously avoided Monique or Dusty. Sharing their worries and complaints. Their ideas on how the base should be run.

My smile was bright as the morning sun when I got back to the bar.

Slab sat back down and began fiddling with a margarita or a similar looking drink. Taking small measured sips.

I sat beside him and downed another shot in one gulp.

“You know what? We’re doing great! We’re the best group there is! Who does that guy think he is!? Telling me I’m a bad person. I’m not! I’m a good person!”

I swallowed another shot in between sentences.

“We don’t need those losers and mean losers telling us who’s good and bad! Screw Randall! Screw him and his fat ugly face! His…”

I hiccupped.

“His face! Its ugly. Like a rat’s!”

“You met Randall?” Slab asked.

“Yeah! That nut! Said I was evil! And…and…that I was…working. With da aliens!”

“Forgive me, Shepherd. I should have put him down when I had the chance. Such insolence should not go unpunished.”

“SOLOMON! MA name…is SOLOMON! Don’t furget it! You can call me SULLY! Suince yousse my friieend.”

“I…very well. Sully. Thank you for the privilege.”

“That’s batter. Freinds should say…say…names. Also! Friends don’t kill people! Calm yer…yer…calm down!”

I laughed. An honest, clean laugh. Oh my goodness. It felt so good to laugh. To know that there weren’t any monsters nearby.

Wait.

‘Goooo Aauway!’

I tried to order. I don’t think it worked. The impressions where my minions should have been were up and down and down some more. Twisted from left and right. Swaying this way and that without rhyme or reason. I tried to grab them. But they slipped away. It was like trying to hold water in my hands and squeezing to make a fist.

Meh. It’ll be all right. They love me. They really love me. Creepy fishhook ropes and all. They did what I told them to do. It’ll be fine.

“Ya know? I coulda killed Ra…” I belched. “Randall. I coulda. It woooldn’t have been hard.” I hickuped.

“But. But I didn’t. Cause I’m a good person. I don’t use ma powers. On people. That’s EVIL!”

I took another swig.

I did a good job. I saved the people. I got them to safety. I’m a good person.

“I feel like a hero.” I told Slab jovially.

“You are a hero. You gathered us all up to take the gnomes head on. You put your own life at risk to save anyone you found in need. Never doubt your own efforts. You’re as great a leader as I’ve ever seen.”

“Aaaauouw Shuucks! You kiss ass!”

Slab looked taken aback.

I was laughing.

Thinking back of better times with Luigi and Vince and Henry. How we’d gotten so hammered one time we’d decided to go skydiving that very night. Thankfully, none of the establishments nearby catered to our wishes. Instead, we’d gone to a nearby arcade and fallen over and over again trying to win some dancing game I can’t recall. The music had been loud and blaring. We hadn’t been able to stop laughing.

“I’M DANCING ON SUNSHINE! WHOAOAOA!”

I had another two shots. Whiskey, this time. Then I followed those up with some rum-laced milkshakes. Clinging to every thick slurp as it went down my throat.

My mind swirled, transforming this bar into another bar. An emptier one where there was no Slab.

I…the other me, the one that didn’t meet the siblings or Monique or Charlie walked out and saw Ryan. He’d met Ryan earlier, due to not having detours. He’d saved Ryan too.

“We’ve come to a decision.” Other Ryan had said. “We’re thankful for what you’ve done, but we can’t have someone like you around us. You have to leave.”

Other me pleaded and begged. Reassured them that he wasn’t a danger. That all he wanted to do was help.

Other Ryan incited the mod and began throwing bone spears.

Other me could have stopped them. Could have ordered them to stop. Other me didn’t do that. He ran away with tears streaming down his eyes and ran into Anezka days later.

I only returned to the real world when she stabbed other me with the needle and my head struck the counter. I blinked rapidly, taking in Slab once more and smiling.

“Ya know? I…me was never good at…public speaking. That was Henry or Luigi’s thing. They…were excellent. I…I suck big dodo balls. I can’t face that croowd soober. I get too nervous. Too angry. I did everythiaang for them; and this is how they repuaay me? I’m not expecting…”

I burped.

“A POOrade or Anathang. JUST. A LITTLE BLOODSY GRATITUDE WOULD BE NICE!”

I could not say how much time had passed. Only that I felt great. Whole again. Like my old self.

Who cares if I’m a Telepath!? I’m a good person! I proved that! I shouldn’t be afraid of what I could do! Buddy was right all along! Screw the crabs! Those (Gnome)ers had it coming! Screw the gnomes! Those assholes had coming even more!

I’m a good person! I should keep doing what I’m doing!

With that in mind I swished and swooshed my arms. Bringing up my status and the available abilities list.

Name:

Solomon Carter

Psy:

30, 780/35, 100

Type:

Telepath III Level 110

Abilities:

[Solomon’s Inescapable Domination X] 18 / [Solomon’s Overwhelming Delusion V] 12 / [Solomon’s Inexorable Suppression V] 12 / [Sense Thoughts] 10 / [Message] 5 / [Mental Bolt] 4 / [Fever] 4 / [Fear] 3 / [Hide] 3 / [Faint Presence] 2 / [Mental Map] 10 / [Precognition] 12 / [Meditation] 8 / [Premonition] 6 / [Psychometry] 3 / [Team Tactics] 5 / [Electronic Interface] 4 / [Inspiration] 4

Ability Points:

7

Available Abilities:

[Static Illusion] 1 / [Fever] 1 / [Sleep] 1 / [Electronic Interface] 1 / [Floral Interface] 1 / [Fungal Interface] 1 / [Team Tactics] 1 / [Team Spirit] 1 / [Team Resilience] 1 / [Team Momentum] 1 / [Team Doctrine] 1 / [Mental Map] 1 / [Fear] 1 / [Courage] 1 / [Anxiety] 1 / [Confusion] 1 / [Hobble] 1 / [Phobia] 1 / [Puppet Animal] 1 / [Puppet Plant] 1 / [Puppet Fungus] 1 / [Puppet Sentient] 1 / [Puppet Machine] 1 / [Faint Presence] 1 / [Imposing Presence] 1 / [Alluring Presence] 1 / [Hide] 1 / [Mask] 1 / [Hidden Danger] 1 / [Muffle] 1 / [Flash] 1 / [Precognition] 1 / [Premonition] 1 / [Persistent Message] 1 / [Meditation] 1 / [Mark Target] 1 / [Calm] 1 / [Enrage] 1 / [Friendship] 1 / [Resolve] 1 / [Review Memory] 1 / [Share Memory] 1 / [Fog Memory] 1 / [Drunkenness] 1 /  [Sobriety] 1 / [Inspiration] 1 / [Psychometry] 1 /  [Hum of Attack] 1 / [Hum of Striding] 1 /  [Hum of Defence] 1 / [Hum of Harmony] 1 /  [Hum of Discord] 1 / [Hum of Cleansing] 1 / [Hum of Mist] 1 / [Painful Gaze] 1 / [Cleansing Gaze] 1 / [Entrancing Gaze] 1 / [Degrading Gaze] 1 / [Block Mental Detection] 1 / [Block Mental Attack] 1 / [Interrupt] 1 / [Awaken Organism] 1 / [Awaken Object] 1 / [Stable Reality] 1 / [Unstable Reality] 1 / [Manifest Intruder] 1 / [Seal Intruder] 1 / [Banish Intruder] 1 / [Psionic Jinx] 1 / [Psionic Hex] 1 / [Psionic Curse] 1 / [Drown] 1 / [Heart Attack] 1 / [Indigestion] 1 / [Blind] 1 / [Deafen] 1/ [Anosmia] 1 / [Phantom Pain] 1

I accidentally tapped abilities I already had. More than once. But nothing happened. They were grayed out.

“I wan… plants! And mooshroooms!”

So, I got the first levels of [Floral Interface] and [Fungal Interface].

Yeah. That’s show em.

Ability Gained: [Drunkenness] 1 has been added to the Status.

Hey! That took a point! That’s not fair!

I want my point back! Refund my point! (Gnome)ty System! I want my point back!

The world started turning harder and faster. Slab had me in his arms, though I could not say when he caught me or when I went down.

“IaI…fiiiine.” I said, pushing against him and getting back on the barstool. “NAvaer Batteer.”

Slab might have made a face but my vision was so blurry I could not discern it.

“OOH MY GOSH! Sab. Youse such a good frand! I’m sorry I thought aboot cuddling with ya sister. She…she looks like a cuddler. I likje to cuddle. A lot. Me and Doris used ta… Used ta…”

The room kept spinning and I accidentally knocked one of the glasses on the floor.

“(Gnome)! (Gnome)! (Gnome)! (GNOOOOOOOOOOME!)!”

Dusty and some other people burst in. They…

I don’t know. I couldn’t focus on their thoughts or their faces. Maybe they were worried?

I don’t know.

What I did know is that I’d been an idiot. I called them all sorts of mean things in my head. These were nice maniacs. Not mean maniacs.

“Dusta! Slorr! I…I…Iiiidiu…”

“What did you do to him!?’

“I didn’t do anything! He had a thirst!?”

“Are those empty bottles his?”

Their sounds…the sounds. They were like waves. Hitting me and dragging me deep. Deeper. I felt wet and heavy. Buddy melted away into my old pajamas. They were so wet and moist and heavy. I was sinking and sinking.

Drowning.

Is this the real life? Is this all fantasy?

The strings. I was back. Deep inside myself. Behind my own eyes where the fog was thickest.

The lake was a little clearer now. I could peer a bit deeper into the waters. I could see the new strings and the old. The stronger and weaker ones too.

Strongest of all were the ropes. The three thick pillars that overshadowed the rest. I could not have beaten the gnomes without them.

If I could do that much with three, imagine what I could do with five or ten.

Yes. I need more ropes. I want all the ropes.

Who cares if I’m a Telepath? I’m a hero. I should have more ropes if I wanted them!

I started to tangle up all the strings I could. [Mental Map] and [Sense Thoughts] almost merged, until I tried to bring in [Mental Bolt]. The thing hissed at me like a pissed-off tomcat. The lake shook with an angered tremor. I almost threw up.

Wait, did I throw up?

Whatever. I was fine.

My arms were turning to water. Slipping into the pool inside me and joining the reservoir. Or, were those my arms? No. My arms were outside. In here, there was only will.

I kept at it, until more prompts appeared from the available abilities tab. I banished it, rejecting the offered help.

“If you need something done right, you have to do it yourself.”

I dissolved and grasped the roots of the pillars as they waved. I pulled near the bolt and coaxed his friends out.

“Which ones will you play with? I’ll help you.”

Three more tried to rise, but another quake flung them from me.

“Fine. Be that way. You can wait until the others have had their turn.”

[Fever] was there next to [Fear]. Sturdy, reliable bits of yarn. I embraced them. Knitting them together.

[Drunkenness], newly emerged, joined in on the fun. Sulky Bolt tried to join. I kicked it aside.

“You had your chance.” I reprimanded. “Stay in the corner until you’re called.”

With that I wove and knit and sang.

I got back 17 points from their eradication. One point was used to solidify the rope. 21 turns to 20. I had 20 points left.

Ability Gained: [Delirium III] 1 has been added to the Status.

[Delirium III]

Standard Combination of [Fever] / [Fear] / [Drunkenness].

Launches a Psionic assault in a spherical area around the user that impairs coordination while drastically raising body temperature.

Afflicted targets will be compelled to flee from the area of effect unless they manage to resist the initial assault.

Targets that leave the area of effect are no longer afflicted by this ability.

This ability cannot be overcharged with Psy.

Potency of effect and maximum area of effect scales with current ability level.

Nice! I did it!

I created a new ability! Using the power of friendship and booze!

Joy swelled from my very core, only to stop abruptly once I actually read the description.

‘Wait a second. I can’t throw it far away like I used to do with [Fever]? I can’t overcharge it? What!? That sucks! Those were the best parts! This isn’t an upgrade! It’s a downgrade! Give me back my [Fever]!’

Alas, no amount of pulling and yanking could undo the damage. I felt awful now, as if I’d lost all my money in Vegas and woke up tied to a hot air balloon that was hovering above a pit of vipers.

Okay, maybe that was a little dramatic. I felt like an ass.

Oh Screw it. All in.

Ability Evolving: [Delirium III] 1 has grown to [Delirium III] 6

Perfect. All done and no points left.

Level Gained: +500 Maximum Psy. +12 Ability Points.

Never mind.

No title though. Hm.

Well, whatever. I was happy and that’s all that mattered. Wait till the gnomes get a taste of this!

Oh, wait. They’re all dead.

Or are they?

They’re sneaky little (Gnome)s. They could be hiding under the table or my bed.

Wait. My bed? When did I get into bed?

I waved my real arms until I caught the corner of blanket and threw it to the side.

I tried to stand. I fell.

Slab and Dusty were arguing outside the door but they came in as soon they heard. Them and Charlie and Monique and Borislav.

I smiled kindly and stood up properly.

Outside, thoughts and emotions are still streaming in. Most are scared, either of me or my party. They don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. So, they wander listlessly through the hall. Deader than the zombies Monique has had to deal with.

I can change that.

I will change that.

I won’t make the same mistakes Sarcophagus Solomon made.

I will be their light in the darkness. Their hero.

I know what must be done.