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Sorry BoD readers! You've been starving, but soon, you will feast!

After thinking, reading the reactions, pondering some more, I decided to scrap the previous version of chapter fifty-seven and go in a different direction. Here is the re-write, and yes you will get to see Dove's stat sheet next chapter.

Sheesh.

“I can’t believe it. I can’t fucking believe it,” Dove breathed.

Tyron swayed on his feet and blinked owlishly. Now that the goal was close, the frenetic energy that had possessed him for the past week was beginning to fade. Already, he could feel a headache blooming in his temples, and the dryness of his mouth and eyes was gradually becoming a major issue.

“Souls are… weird,” he said slowly, before he turned and began to rummage through his pack. He needed food, water and roughly eighteen hours of sleep.

Dove laughed, an uncomfortable, frenetic edge to the sound.

“You just outdid yourself in terms of genius bullshit, and that’s your offering? Souls are weird?!”

“Well they are,” Tyron muttered before shoving a wedge of cheese into his mouth.

Quickly, he spat it out. It was going rancid. He rinsed out his mouth, then took a long drink from his waterskin. The fluid was brackish, and far from fresh, but to his parched throat it was like the tears of the goddess.

Spirits, souls and ghosts were his weakest subjects, as it were, when it came to Necromancy. He’d spent almost all of his time studying bones, artificial mental constructs, death magick, he’d had almost no reason or interest to investigate the souls of the living. Outside of his revenants, he didn’t even have any ghosts in his entourage currently. Yet, when it came to this particular problem, an intricate and detailed knowledge of the soul had been necessary to succeed.

So the majority of the week had been spent finding and then examining ghosts. Even possessed by the spirit of inspiration as he had been, Tyron had found that the rules governing the souls of the dead were… weird.

Dove was dancing, wiggling his bony hips in obscene motions and giggling like a young maid.

“Of all the stupid bullshit you’ve pulled off, this is by far the stupidest, and most bullshit laden of them all. Where the fuck do you get off figuring this stuff out? It’s nonsense! I was here to watch you do it and I still don’t know how you did it.”

The Necromancer waved a hand carelessly as he continued to drink and eat. The negative effects of such a long stint of ceaseless work continued to build, but he hoped to ward them off before they grew too severe.

“We aren’t even sure if it’s going to work,” he stated, his throat still raw.

Seated in the cave in the dead of night, the wind rustling in the trees was their only companion. A small fire crackled near the entrance, providing some warmth, and several globes of magickal light gave all the illumination they required.

Tyron’s small table was covered in loose sheets of paper, each filled with a dense, almost illegible scrawl. With a groan, he picked himself up and felt every muscle in his body protest at the motion. Damn it all, it wasn’t easy for his muscles to get stiff and sore like this. Even at his level of endurance, an entire week of casting spells and sitting hunched over his notes was enough.

In moments like this, being a Lich didn’t seem like all that bad of an idea. No need to sleep, eat or drink. He could work for months on end without any need for a break. Efficiency-wise, it would be a real time saver. Certainly better than being a vampire, at least. For starters, sleeping half the time was an enormous waste, secondly, every vampire he’d seen was often… diverted, with other concerns, rather than focused on their goals.

If the Dark Ones got their way, he certainly wouldn’t remain a human for long, judging by the feats they’d offered him. Something to worry about another time. There was no way he was going to get any sleep until Dove had attempted the new ritual, so he may as well let him have his fun.

“Let me talk you through it one more time, then we can make an attempt, alright?” he croaked before taking another swig of water.

“It’s not that complicated, kid. I could do this with one hand up my ass.”

For good measure, the skeleton reached around and inserted his hand into his pelvis from the back, wiggling his fingers.

“If something goes wrong and you rip your soul apart, at least you can’t say I didn’t warn you of the risks,” he insisted, ignoring Dove’s antics. “Sit your bony backside down and I’ll walk you through it.”

So saying, he pulled out the chair and indicated for Dove to sit, then began to rifle through the sheets of paper, trying to create some semblance of order so he could present it.

“Starting from the beginning,” he coughed.

“Oh shit, really?”

“Shut up. Starting from the beginning. So the status ritual, we know essentially what it does. It takes the Unseen’s… assessment of you, then codifies it. The information is contained within the blood, so it isn’t even extracted. We use the medium of blood to manifest the information contained inside it. So all the ritual has to do is ask the Unseen to reveal itself, which it willingly does.”

He paused for a minute to take a drink and work up some more moisture in his mouth while Dove bounced in his seat impatiently.

“In many respects, the current ritual we use is performing the task in the simplest possible way. Which is why any idiot can cast it. Your situation… is a little different.”

“Yes. I’m dead. Therefore, no blood. I think I got that part, is it really necessary to explain it?”

“If you talk less and listen more, this goes faster. Do you want it to go faster?”

If Dove could roll his eyes, he certainly would at this moment.

“Yes, professor Steelarm.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Now, at this point, you’re going to say that?”

“You’ve always been insufferable. Now shut up. Without blood to work as a universal medium for the Unseen to encode information into, we were pretty stuck. We determined there was magick inside your soul, which was a breakthrough, but that didn’t mean there was information contained inside. So we had to find a way to examine the magickal… contents of the soul, so to speak.”

This process had been a great deal more difficult than Tyron made it seem. He had limited ways to examine souls. Eventually he’d been able to cobble something together using cannibalised parts of the Speak With Dead spell and the Repository ritual. Effectively, he’d substantiated a soul and then selected a medium to deposit the magickal information from the soul into. Most of time, he’d used his own blood.

“Luckily, the Unseen is thorough in its work,” Dove remarked, somewhat sarcastically. “It infects everything equally.”

Tyron hesitated, but didn’t say anything. Was the Unseen a saviour or a curse? That question would haunt the people of this realm long after he was dead, just as it had more millennia before he was born. Wherever there was magick, the Unseen was present, and after thousands of years of the realm being saturated with arcane power from the rifts, magick was in everything.

Including, apparently, souls.

“So this section of the ritual is there to… provide a shell through which the ritual can access your soul, I guess.”

“That’s kind of clumsy phrasing.”

“I agree, but I don’t have better terminology I’m afraid.”

“It opens a Soul Hole.”

“I hate you. Never say that in my presence again. This construct acts as a receptacle through which we can access the magick within the soul, then this section mimics that magick, effectively creating a copy, then we encode that information into our medium of choice.”

“You’ve lost a lot of blood this week. Have you even got any juice left?”

“I’ll be fine. At that point, my own information should be overwritten and the final part of the ritual will work much the same as the traditional one.”

“Great.”

“The risk is, your soul actually ruptures when we try to open it, or the magick contained within won’t resonate with the copy we’ve made, so any choices you make during the status ritual won’t take effect.”

“Nobody’s ever worked out how that shit works, the Unseen pretty much does all of that itself.”

“Which is why I have no idea if this ritual will actually work or not.”

“Whatever! I’m still willing to give it a try. It’s not like I have a lot to live for, is this even really a risk?”

“Well, if your soul explodes you won’t get to go to… wherever souls go when a person dies.”

“I reserved a spot on Selene’s left tit.”

“Sure you did. There, you have the method, you know the risks.”

Tyron pulled a knife from his belt and pricked the tip of finger. The blood was slow to come, so pushed and squeezed until a healthy number of drops had fallen and stained the clean sheet of paper on the table.

“When you’re ready,” he said, withdrawing his hand.

Dove, as a spirit inhabiting what was effectively a cunningly carved statue, did not need to breathe in any way, yet, in this moment, he made the sound of a long slow inhalation as he readied himself. Perhaps it was simply a habit he wasn’t rid of. Taking a steadying breath was something people did all the time. Or perhaps Dove was simply trying to settle himself as a rare flutter of emotion perturbed his cold spirit.

Regardless, a beat later, he began to speak, his hands flicking out the familiar gestures with practised ease. Throughout the process, Tyron held his breath, gripped by a heady mix of fatigue and anticipation. Had he failed Dove at the final hurdle? Had he made magickal history by inventing brand new magick?

With the added components, this was a much longer and more complex ritual than the standard one, but Dove breezed through it, completing the process in under five minutes. The instant he completed the ritual, several things happened at once.

Dove leaned forward eagerly, his hollow, glowing eyes staring down at the page in front of him.

The blood, ever so slowly, began to move.

Tyron’s eyes rolled up in his head as he became gripped by a sudden vision.

~~~

As soon as he began to awaken, the details of what he saw began to fade. He’d been… somewhere… somewhere else. Intangible presences, like ribbons of mist had twined themselves around him… whispering… begging. What they’d said… was important. Very important. But he just… couldn’t… remember. The harder he tried to reach out and grasp the memories, the faster they slipped away from him, until he was left grasping nothing, and his eyes opened.

“Hrrrr,” he slurred, his tongue feeling heavy in his mouth.

His head was pounding. His vision was blurry. How long had he been out? A vision. He’d experienced a vision. That must mean he’d unlocked a new mystery, which meant… he must have been successful… hadn’t he? What had happened when the ritual ended?

“Finally awake? Welcome back, kid.”

Tyron swivelled his head and saw Dove in front of him, his eyes finally deciding to focus. Then, he realised a few other things.

“Dove,” he rasped, “why am I tied to the chair?”

The skeleton stood tall, wearing his armour, hands resting on his bony hips.

“I’m not going back, kid,” he said seriously. “I know you have to leave soon, and there is no fucking way I’m going back to Yor. Not now that I finally have a reason to… continue existing, I guess.”

It took a few moments for what was being said to sink in, but Tyron seized on the key point.

“It worked?” he breathed, a grin blossoming on his face. “I was right?”

Dove leaned forward, his head tilted to one side.

“You just got a fucking mystery didn’t you? Another mystery, I should say, you fucking prick.”

Tyron shrugged defensively, which was difficult with his arms tied behind his back.

“I may have made a breakthrough that was sufficient to be granted a vision, but not enough for the ritual to work as intended. I didn’t see what happened, how was I supposed to know?”

He tested his bonds. Dove had done a suspiciously expert job tying him up.

“I know what you’re thinking. I’ve got rope-tying at level ten.”

And now he had access to those Skills again?

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” Dove said, and it appeared as though he attempted to wink. He wasn’t successful.

“Was it really necessary to tie me up?” Tyron grumbled. “You could have just run away when I went to sleep.”

“This is way more fun. That… and I wasn’t sure if you would let me go?”

Tyron raised a brow at him questioningly and Dove flapped his arms in a defensive motion.

“I know you made a deal with Yor to bring me out here. I don’t know what the terms are, but you’ll get kicked in the balls if I don’t come back, I’m sure of that. Generally you’ve tried to do the right thing by me, but….” he trailed off.

“But you were worried I wouldn’t be willing to pay that price and that I’d drag you back against your will,” the Necromancer finished for him.

Maybe he would have. Maybe he still would.

After wrestling with the idea for a few moments, he slumped in his seat.

“It’s fine,” he muttered. “You can go. This is the last time I’m going to do you a favour like this, alright? As unfortunate as your situation is, I’ve got a few things I need to deal as a matter of urgency.”

“Oh, I fucking get it. I hate the magisters to death, and they didn’t torture-murder my fucking family. I support the mission, one-hundred percent. I just don’t want to spend another second as some vampire addicted idiot’s ball-bag. If Yor was pissed at what I said? Fine. I’ve done my time. Now I can level again. Now I have access to everything that I’d lost. I refuse to lose this opportunity.”

There was an intensity to his voice, a manic, possessed energy that perhaps only someone who’d gone through live and death the way that Dove had could truly understand. Tyron didn’t grasp it, but he felt the power of it.

“What’s your plan then? Are you going to hang around the mountain? Hunting kin here in order to get levels?”

“I think…” Dove mused, as he tapped a finger to his chin, “that I’m better off not saying, just in case Yor demands the truth out of you. I’ll be somewhere, doing something. How about that?”

Tyron rolled his eyes.

“Fine. Leave a message in Cragwhistle if you want to get in touch with me. Just don’t be doing any massacres or zombie uprisings. If you ruin my revenge, don’t think you’ll get away lightly.”

The last was said with complete sincerity and Dove hastened to reassure him.

“Not a problem, I get it.”

“What Class did you even get, anyway?”

“It’s on the table if you want to look, you pervert.”

“Says the guy with rope-tying ten. Will you let me out of here now?”

“No. So long kid, until the next time I see your brooding mug.”

“Take care of yourself, Dove. If you want to stay alive… I suppose.”

“I wonder.”

Finally, the skeleton turned to leave. Then turned back.

“I used to think you were a once in a century genius, you know? Then I thought you were a once in a millennium genius. Now… I’m not certain this realm has ever seen anything like you before. Don’t fuck up, Tyron, you could tip this entire realm over if you play your cards right.”

“That’s the general idea,” Tyron smiled fiercely.

Then Dove turned, and he was gone.

Comments

Anonymous

Im just sort of glad you redid the chapter and thanks for this chapter. I’m glad, he left on good terms rather than a poison and half assed stabbing. Also first!

Elijah Coleman

"tears of the goddess" my inner league of legends player screamed for joy.😊

Anonymous

Yes def better. I think much more consistent with both characters relationship, and more logical that he waited until the status ritual was done

Anonymous

10/10, hope for dove to enjoy left titty again 🥹 thanks for the chapter, I like this one a lot better

Scion

I like this more. It gives a bit of lore, and adds personality, and we can see the comic relief of Dove coming back eventual after he grows as his skeleton self.

Adrian Engel

Yeap, I feel this is more in line with what I though Dove would do. Thanks for your hard work author!

Spartanstoryteller

I was fine with the old version but I find that I like this new version a lot more

Anonymous

I did like the original version of the chapter but I liked this one even more :D I can't wait to see doves sheet

Anonymous

Now i like this way more. Feels more true to the characters. Can't wait for next chapters.

Killer Pickle

Definitely like this version a lot more, even if the explanations on How all the magic works was a bit rough. Also on a side note it’s good to see that your willing to rewrite parts of your story like this and take those criticism into account, it tells wonders of your future as a writer :D

JaegerMaxim

Love these changes!

Kris Piskorski

Soo much better, thanks for the redo

Anonymous

Much prefer this version buddy

Andrew

Thank you!

Anonymous

Thanks for the redo! Great chapter

Anonymous

This is a better way of going about it imo. I wouldn’t even mind if it had been even more antagonistic than it is here if that was the way you’d prefer. But with this way, it makes more sense that Dove has gotten something he needs—options. Otherwise, he didn’t have any chance for growth (if I remember correctly. I don’t recall him having access to the status ritual in the other version). This way, he can change/grow in a way that makes sense within the story, even if he ends up antagonistic to Tyron. Otherwise, it would feel like a bit of an ass-pull if he showed up more capable than we’ve seen him this far.

Gabus Deux

Yeah I think this fits a lot more with the character, the build up still makes sense, and now the reaction to it makes sense too! Your idea in the first place was fine, just the execution.

BubblyGhost

Enjoyed it, definitely seems more Dove's personality nd I like how they're still on good terms.

Andrew Glass

I’m not gonna lie, I kinda liked the finality the other version had; Dove gone rouge, all skewed in the head cuz of death magic. But also, I do like this chapter, and it feels more in line with what we know of the personalities of Dove and Tyron. But i think murder hobo Dove would have been pretty interesting to watch

ShadyTundra

This feels better tbh. Also doesn't this mean at the very least his revenants can level up?

Anonymous

Great chapter!! Love that they parted on good terms <3

Adevna

Yeah, much better. Makes much more sense.

Nathan Sto

I mean, the first time he leveled up a minion, it tied him to a chair and went to go find a dick. IDK if allowing his minions to grow in ways that could (in theory) raise their ability to resist him is a bright idea.

Nathan Sto

Much better!

Anonymous

Good choice.

Anonymous

Perfect thanks. It maintains the relationship between them but clearly shows dove as a severely abused man who has had enough and has an opportunity to escape. It doesn’t show much resentment towards tyron, which makes sense because dove said when he first was bound to the skull that he felt like his feelings were muted or gone. Hes alive, hes a real boy now, and hes done with being a pet. I hope they meet again in better circumstances

Koala Man

Yeah this is great , excellent rewrite :)

Anonymous

Like this version a lot more. Fits Dove much better. Also I read both so I'm happy with all the new content.

Anonymous

Wow! It took time, but it was worth every minute, masterful chapter! Thanks!

Grey Knight Lord

I like this better. Before, I was cursing Dove to hell and back and wishing to make a Voodoo Doll of the skeleton

virus2803 *

Much better last version didnt really sit well

Anonymous

I think for the revenants to level up he would need a stronger way to control them because if it gave him everything he lost when he died maybe it would give them back some of their independence. If this route I'd followed a soul contract like stereotypical devil contract would work. Ex. Tyron learns how to make a contract that binds souls from the abyss. Then he makes the revenants sign it with or against their will.

Wandering Agent

Much prefer the redo, feels, right.

Anonymous

This is much better the the first version. I also liked removing the part about the revenants being tied up. Seems like with how paranoid Tyron is the initial rules they must follow as part of the creation would be protecting him as a basic instruction.

Anonymous

There really needs to be further exploration in the concept of the abyss, right now we know ehat the court and the old gods want of him but all we know about the abyss is that they enjoy the chaos, also the court and the old gods both have representatives, I believe that some kind of cult of the abyss being introduced would be a good idea seeing as during the first casting of peirce the veil people recognized it meaning there could be an already established cult of the void or such that only gold + even know about

Prinny Knight

Last version was a car turning left into a tree, this ones still on the road.

Anonymous

An idea for the cult... Instead of some evil hooded guys aim for people who want to get rid of something intangible like like pain regrets memories hatred. With a 'Motto' "The void will take whatever you wish to be without" or you could do it as dark favors for warriors such as they tell warrior it's enemies weakness in return the warrior has to sacrifice all of their future kills to the abyss.

ShadyDemoness

Oh fuck didn't know you were reading this too. Nice. I was going to read the new mechanist chapter next

Anonymous

This version feels much better! Really good job. Cant wait to see where this all goes, especially if we can get some Dove striking out on his own POV chapters. I'll look forward to him bemoaning how hard necromancy is (if he has to do necromancy that is).

Kain

Eh I like both I think pissed off and secretly homicidal dove was set up enough but I’m good with this version as well.

Dan K

This one definitely felt much more natural. Where last chapter felt like shoving a square peg into a circle hole, this one felt much smoother and easy to swallow.

Anonymous

I honestly like this turn of events better.

ZaneofBane

This feels better. The assassination attempt had no positive outcomes of successful.

Desmond Cheong

So when Dove level up, he will need to find Tyron for his blood to use as a medium to perform the ritual again?

Anonymous

This is a much better and more natural turn. Really appreciate the rewrite.

Jac Onue

As many mentioned, this version is more in line with the character's personalities. Dove's actions make sense (unlike a half-hearted attempt to kill Tyron). And if you want to explore Dark Dove, you can still go that route by explaining that the more he levels up the more his new class (lich?) influences him, so he's becoming more and more like how a lich would be (ie. zero care for human life and etc.) could even be a cool twist, that after defeating the magisters and bringing down the gods, Tyron has to fight Dove who had went full undead lich by that point.

crusaderstar

Feels a lot more natural! Will miss him, but he needs his homeward bound journey

Runaway_Cactuar

Yeah, this version was way better. If you intend on Dove going on a separate journey, this would be the way to do it. It doesn't cheapen their relationship thus far and it includes the possibility of his return later down the road. I am still concerned about who Ty can interact with now that he lost his sounding board / sole confidante. But overall, things make way more sense.

Sean Hibbitt

Thanks for the chapter!! :F

Shawn Lockhart

This one is much better. Thanks for the chapter.

DeadSlime

This version is way better the plot whole isn’t there anymore where Dove could have just killed Tyron in his sleep. Plus this version makes more sense with Dove hating Yor for trapping his soul rather than Tyron who didn’t directly screw Dove over. Thanks RinoZ

Rylie Harris

I think we'll get to see more of Tyron going too far without distraction on his mad inventive moments

Kris Boxall

Yes! Like this new chapter much better

Anonymous

Feels better. But a bit sudden as well?? Like they relationship were a bit worse before. But I think this is better, though both are a bit less stressed than previously.

Seeker10

I wonder if he can enpower his revenants with ritual access and let them improve rather than staying stagnant, as there is only so far physycal empowerment can go

CentaureHeart

Honestly I really enjoyed the previous version, even if of course I didn't enjoy the betrayal because I like Tyron and Dove's banter. The only thing that was underlined was that maybe the betrayal didn't come at the right time, he could have done it when he had more power at hand. But what is really stressed in this chapter is that the deadline for Dove's betrayal was the return to the Capital so in the end I think the other version fit very well. For me Dove lashing out made perfect sense. He is not human anymore, he doesn't have the biology for it and he was tortured for ages. That's how monsters are born. So yeah, even though it was a shitty developpment for Tyron, I don't think the story would have been worse off. You would just have shifted it to an even darker tone. You chose to revamp it (ah) and I like it as well ! Can't wait to see the Mystery and Dove's new Status !

Goldraven

Great chapter. I hope we won't have to wait long until we see dove again.

Anonymous

This is so much better in my opinion.

Khajar

Much better! And it probably won't be long until we see Dove again. Regardless of his new class, he likely doesn't have the skills to fix his own body, if it gets too damaged.

Littleme02

Is obvious that in the grand plan of the story Rinoz had, Dove needed to leave for whatever reason. When everyone hated the sudden and illogical betrayal he had to rush to this instead

Anonymous

I agree with the others, this feels much more natural. The suddenness is due to the return deadline so it makes sense and I think Dove not trying to kill Tyron feels more natural.

QuakDoktor

I’m happy about this rewrite, I think it’s more inline with dove’s character, he didn’t turn Tyron in when he first found out about him being a necromancer, whilst he didn’t like being bought back he still became friends with Tyron

Littleme02

I didn't really mind the betrayal but how stupid the decision was from dove to do it at that point. If he waited acouple of years for tyrion to develop the unseen thing he did now he wouldn't just be a wandering undead that would be killed by the first slayers that happens to see him. He is in a much better position now

Charble

How could we be mad at that hilarious chapter title 😂

Anton Shomshor

I liked the gritty feel of the last one? But this one does feel more like Dove.

CentaureHeart

It wasn't stupid, he didn't want to go back, that's it. You're all assuming that he would have gone back and he would have just have been fine with Yor but he never could have taken the abuse. He has just recovered a body, he can do stuff and some magic and he awakened ! There is no way Yor would have let that slide, she would have put him back in skull form at the very least. Maybe Tyron could have tried and bargained but it was still putting Dove under her umbrella. Dove couldn't have waited, this was do or die. I understand people not liking the betrayal though, I didn't like it either. But it was foreshadowed, and it makes a lot of sense that he could go Full Villain. Also, he is exactly in the same position now than when he tried to kill Tyron, the only difference is that he hasn't burned the bridge between them.

alt31415

You know, I like this chapter, but not because I think it's better. When you marked the last one with 'I reserve the right to retcon it' I knew you weren't 100% on it, and I'm glad you redid it. What really matters is YOU think the chapter's better.

Graham Kinnear

I preferred one aspect of the last one: was much darker. A step towards the grim nature of the story. Betrayal is a 180. Its supposed to feel shitty. This version is a playwright’s dream so they can fill the gaps with drama. Its…light.

Anonymous

I think this fits a lot better, Dove started out with a soft spot for the kid and I didn’t realise how jarring the last chapter was until I read this one

Kain

I mean we already have that tool for control it’s called the mark lol. Still convinced that it’s 100% soul magik and Tyrone should get on messing with it maybe get some slayers to volunteer for experiments at least a few have to be old and desperate enough for freedom to risk it.

Kain

It really wasn’t sudden or illogical… It was made very clear repeatedly Dove hated his situation both with Tyrone and even more with Yor. And things like Tyrone forcing his will on Dove to shove him out of the Ossuary and the impending return to being a Cod piece in Yors brothel would account for the timing like for real I think people over hated the last version just because they didn’t want to acknowledge Dove’s unhappiness and suffering.

Anonymous

To me the problem with the previous version is that while Dove has legitimate anger and resentment towards Tyron he is at the bottom of his hit list and the boy is his best shot at getting back at everybody else on the list. As such trying to kill him is not the best of plan

CentaureHeart

Well again, Tyron is the one that put him in a skull. As long as he's gone full hatred I don't think it makes that much of a difference. But yeah, logically speaking it's not a good plan.

Crazy Abe

Clearly he’s the reincarnation of the so called “god of magic” being sent off to deal with the “friends” who abandoned him to rot in the garden of the old gods.

JustShadow

This is much better version. Thank you so much for revising it

Mislandor

I do like this one better - I did not mind Dove slipping a little poison in on the last chapter, they both knew it would not kill Tyron, it was just to slow him down a little - this I think went much more in tune with their character and their relationship. Tied up to prevent him from leaving as a token, as odds are if he really wanted to go, Tyron would have let him. Love the section - no one in that world has seen anything like Tyron before - and with a little more time - he will change that world for the better by killing the fucks who are strangling it.

Anonymous

Plus while Dove is pissed at what Tyron did, he understands that it was done out of pure desperation and not malice or pettiness unlike the other people he has a grudge against.

Nathan Patrick

Thank you for bringing our Dove back home.

kingoff00ls

This felt much better

chris

i agree and im happy that i saw i think only opinions and constructive criticism, nothing negative, some civil disagreements and opposing opinions but no destructive criticism and stuff. everything was at worst neutral and just voiced opinions and feelings. rarely get to see such a positive comment section anywhere these days, feels good. hopefully it rly was like that and not just cuz some comments were deleted or something. im also happy to see that although rinoz is willing to rewrite and think up different versions of certain chapters hell always still write it generally the way he wants. just like how dove was always going to die but was brought back with a real price and some future consequences and now hes leaving, good terms or bad he still left. :)

chris

no he had access to the ritual, he just left b4 they completed it and did the ritual, instead here he left afterward while tyron was gaining a mystery. which also seems like the more likely way tyron could b out cold, seemed weird that dove would b able to find all the stuff he needed to poison tyron and even more so that his herbalogist subclass knowledge would b enough without the skills and mayb spells to enhance the poison he made. then again that mightve been y the poison didnt work as well as antagonist dove had intended, by the logic of the story and not counting plot armor.

chris

best to start with the graduates not stationed in craigwhistle if hes going to try to experiment with the brand, dont want the magisters investigating a brand suddenly acting weird at his lvling base.

chris

not without nearly losing ur mind, if ur able to hold on like tyron, others arent so lucky and do lose their minds. dove i think 1st mention about how they probably almost devoured his mind, tyron also described thats what it felt like they were trying to do. they feed on ppls minds thru the veil and if they fully latch on the person will likely lose control and their head explodes or an abyssal is able to get thru and the 1st to die will b the ritual castor.

Karthic

Yeah I like this way more

Panchonki

This is lighter in tone as many have said. More important than tone however, it is rational and consequential.

Aclys

I agree. While I understand wanting to have Dove slowly go insane to show the consequences of having shoved his soul into a skull for so long and all... There's plenty of time for Dove to become a true monster down the line, giving Tyron cause to second guess letting him out of his sight as it where... and even for them to come to blows later, but the Hate and spite that was in the previous version just... it felt off given how the two have been interacting all story long. They've been like siblings squabbling and such sure... but I never really got the feel that Dove actually hated Tyron for what happened.

Daan Kindermans

Changing things for the better is not what this story is about I think. But I agree this fits better.

chris

i thought the murder hobo dove was well done but he hadnt lost his sanity much in comparison, there were signs he was on his way but it also seemed too soon. like he was months away, like hed b more likely to end up like that after hed been back with yor and then back with tyron and then back to the rift till the last time when the magister was on his way back.

chris

u mean race, his race is likely a lich, but sounds like hes got his old class back, mayb with a few alterations and additions tho.

Dash Marley

Much, much better!

Anonymous

Loved it

Suastes Jiménez Miguel Angel

Well, I don't know what to say. One might assume that the outcome of the chapter is the same, but the terms in which Dove left are different. It would be great if the other version gave rise to a what if…?

Anonymous

Not really I preferred the other version.

Wolve

I kind of liked the other version too, but this one is much more true to the story.

lenkite

This version makes more sense anyways. And Dove acts like Dove. Though I wish a little more detail was given on the ritual - maybe some new vocabulary needs to be invented.

dethrothes

Oh I liked this one wayyy better. The other one felt jarring as hell

Ibuks5

I liked dark dove better, Tyron kept on disrespecting him, it made sense

Anonymous

Much better! This series is dark, but it's dark in reality of human nature way. The last version felt forced, angst for the sake of angst. Dove has been slipping for sure, but as crazy as he is he acts with purpose and knows how to toe the line. The other version betrayed Dove as a character. He knows what Tyron is capable off, even poisoned he'd be able to fuck him up somehow and he 100% at this point would. Not to mention Yor probably has some means to find him and do... things... to him. Dove also lives for chaos and stirring the pot. The whole reason he helped Tyron was to fuck with the people in power. As much as he hates his existence, Tyron is shaping up to be able to do that and more than he ever dreamed. He might want out of the mess he's in but he's got no reason to want to hinder Tyron from getting into a fight with other people he'd love to see dead. It's win-win for him no mater who dies and he doesn't get a massive target on his (relatively weak) back by announcing his betrayal of both Tyron AND Yor.