Chapter 1209 - Pet Talk (Patreon)

The System is responsive to changes in environment and circumstances, that much is known. What is less understood, is why.

Many have tried to predict how the System will adapt to new circumstances, but to my knowledge, they have been confounded every time. Kingdoms rise and fall without ever seeing a unique Class develop within their territory, whereas some people are given access to one for seemingly innocuous reasons.

Famously, Dillip Crant, a sheep herder from a small village on Mount Grattagan, was the first to unlock the rare ‘Cloud Stepping Shepherd’ Class. When scholars tried to discern what had led to the unlock, they were baffled and eventually concluded that an earlier incident in which Dillip fell from a great height and survived while herding sheep had done the trick.

- Excerpt from ‘Intricacies of the System’ by Xinci

Yet another problem the priest has caused me.

Well, I’d like to say that, but ultimately the blame rests with me, and I can’t get away from that. As much as I’d like to.

Whatever these… Templars? Whatever they are, and whatever they do, it’s outside of my control at this point. I’ll just have to rattle along and hope it doesn’t blow up in my mandibles. In the meantime, there’s stuff to be about in the fortress!

“Hihi Senior! How are you doing? Did you sleep? Did you force me to sleep? That wasn’t very nice!”

“Hello there Vibrant, it’s nice to see you looking so rested and refreshed! You even remembered to talk slower.”

“I don’t like sleep-sleep,” she shivered. “Standing still for that long is unnatural!”

“You need to go into torpor regularly you moron,” I give her a stern glare. “These rules exist for a reason.”

“You don’t have to follow rules if you can outrun them! Bye-bye!”

And paff, she was gone in a cloud of dust. Or at least, she tried to leave.

“Senior! Put me down!” Vibrant cried.

“Gweheheheheh. Think you can run away from the rules, do you? Maybe I should send you back for another snooze in the shadows. What do you say?”

The big soldiers legs blaze so fast they kick up a storm of wind, but it’s no use since I’ve lifted her off the ground using a gravity well.

“Gaaaaaah!”

“You’ll never be able to run away from me, Vibrant,” I cackle. “So be good and get regular rest, otherwise I’ll have to come and find you.”

“Fine! LetmedownIdon’tlikeitwhenIcan’trun!”

I release the spell and she drops to the ground with a thud. She flicks her antennae at me angrily and then vanishes into the distance, accelerating so quickly she vanishes like a cartoon character.

I can only shake my head. Vibrant will never change, that’s for sure. My next stop is to drop in on Crinis, Tiny and Invidia. Each of them is battling down in the tunnels, grinding their Skills and Levels, preparing for their next evolution and I’m keen to see how they’re going.

[DIE YOU FILTH! HOW DARE YOU ASSAULT THE HOME OF MY MASTER! DIE! DIEEEEEE!]

Crinis is letting her inner thoughts out as she unleashes true horror upon the creatures of the wave. I feel sorry for the monsters that run into her. The tunnel has been turned into a mass of writhing tentacles that snatch up everything that draws near and brutally cuts them apart before shoving the pieces into one of her three mouths.

[How’s it all going Crinis?] I call to her.

[DIEEEE–Master? Oh! I… I didn’t realise you were here. Everything’s fine! Just… fine!]

[You seem to be having fun.]

[I’m just… happy to be doing my duty!]

[I think something is trying to sneak past you.]

[What? YOU FILTH! DEAAAAATH!]

[Good job! Keep it up Crinis, I’m proud of you!]

[Heheheh.]

She giggles to herself as I turn and leave. Deep down inside, she really loves being a terrorising murder ball. Good for her. Tiny is, quite naturally, rather enjoying himself. His current assignment is to sit in a tunnel and punch the heck out of every monster who comes at him, something he is particularly skilled at.

[How’s it going, Tiny?]

[Fun!] he replies, as he snatches up a weird golden snake and delivers a brutal uppercut straight to its jaw.

Oof. That looked like it hurt.

[You aren’t letting yourself get too worn out or injured are you?]

[No,] he replies with confidence, knocking on his armour with one knuckle.

[Just make sure you take care of yourself. I worry about you, you big ape.]

[Okay.]

He gives me a double thumbs up before he turns with exquisite grace, balanced perfectly on the balls of his feet, and fills the tunnel with lightning.

[Try to keep an eye on him,] I ask the healers stationed well behind where Tiny is operating. [He’ll keep fighting until he’s on the brink of death and not even realise it.]

[We have been, Eldest. We heal him every time he sits down to eat.]

I think for a minute.

[That’s a lot of healing. Good work.]

[Thank you.]

And of course I drop in on my favourite floating eyeball and find him doing what he does best, exploding everything that tries to hurt him and being envious.

[The other tunnelsssssss are better. I wantssss them.]

[They’re exactly the same as this one, I promise you that.]

[I havesssss your word?]

[It’s all yours buddy.]

He thinks for a minute.

[Goooooood.]

BOOM! BOOM!

[Looks like your explosions are getting even more potent. You get a new rank?]

[Yessss. I wantssss all the rankssss.]

[Nice work! Keep practising and you’ll get them all. Put that big brain of yours to use!]

We pause the conversation to allow a little time for him to blast what appeared to be a mole covered in molten silver with his green laser of doom.

[You must be getting close to evolving now, right?]

His green eye flashes bright.

[Yesssssss,] he practically purrs, his tiny little arms wiggling in delight as his wings flap lazily.

[Awesome! I’m going to have to get to work on a core for you and the others. Exciting stuff!]