DYK 1.2 Registration part 1 (Patreon)

It took some time  for Theo to finally settle himself into the reality he now inhabited. How much  time, who could say? On a small patch of rock floating in an endless nothing,  beneath the ever-burning sky of the Endless Chaos, what the heck does time  matter? All in all, he didn't consider it to be completely his fault, no  matter how irritated Bbl became. He had appeared here, without any clear  memory of his past, into a place that defied every aspect of the concept of  'normal' that he somehow maintained.

Taking some time to  examine his own mind had helped somewhat. There were many words and concepts  that still made sense to him, some were comforting whereas others were  confronting, and he couldn't quite remember why either of those might be the  case.

He was human, he  knew that much. His name was Theodore Gray, he knew that too. He ran into some  trouble when he tried to recall his own age. He knew he wasn't young, he also  didn't think he was old. Bbl was over two hundred years in age apparently, and  Theo was sure he wasn't that old. 

He'd examined his  own appearance as much as he could and it felt right to him as much as these  things could. He was thin, practically gaunt, with a thinning head of dark  hair, wrinkled, pale skin, and long, nervous fingers that seemed to be  constantly in motion, twisting through each other, reaching up to brush his  face or tapping against the side of his leg. He'd had to ask Bbl what colour  his eyes were and the crab suggested they were dark brown, almost black.

He also was naked,  which distressed him.

"I understand  not having a shell or some kind of protective layer is wrong, but I thought you flesh bags are all like that. Why get  upset about it now?" Bbl demanded, frustrated by their slow progress.

"I don't  know!" Theo replied, exasperated, "I just feel like I should have  clothes on. I feel … exposed."

"To what? There is only me here and I care not  how you appear, skin sack", Bbl gestured towards Theo's nakedness with  one casual claw, "besides, as I've said,  if you proceed with activating the Realm Stone, you'll be able to resolve  your… nudity, during the registration process."

Theo sighed. Ever  since he had reached the slightest modicum of peace within himself at his knew  existence, Bbl had been insisting he get on with the process of getting his  Demonic hell empire up and running so they could start torturing souls as soon  as possible. The next step consisted of activating the Realm Stone and  undergoing some sort of 'Registration' process. The crab's descriptions of  said process had left Theo's head spinning, it all seemed so bizarre, but  there had been one point the former Demon had continually insisted on.

"If you want  to me to keep you around so badly" Theo snapped at his crustacean  companion, "don't you think you should speak a little more  politely?"

Bbl froze for a  moment on his rock, his eight legs twitching a little before he turned to look  up at Theo. "No? My words are eminently sensible and the best course of  action for you! Would I be worth retaining as an advisor if I weren't frank  with you?"

Theo had to admit  that the tiring crab had a point. Bbl had been at pains to point out that his  life was quite literally held within Theo's hands at this moment. Separated  from the Realm Stone, Bbl was no longer a 'Great Spirit', and without a source  of power to maintain his existence he would eventually fade into nothing. He  was running on fumes now apparently, the barest wisp of what he had been able  to save. In order to preserve himself, he was attempting to convince Theo to  take him on formally as his advisor during the registration.

Theo felt vaguely  uncomfortable at the idea of having a hand in Bbl's death, on the other hand  he also found the crab quite irritating. Something within himself suggested  that wasn't a good enough reason to let him die and Theo felt inclined to  agree.

"Alright,  fine" he breathed, "how do we start this registration again?"

Bbl leaped with  delight and clacked his claws. "Excellent.  Finally you have seen sense, human! Now remember, it is most important that  you put my name forward as your advisor. They won't suggest on their own, it  has to come from you."

"Yes,  yes" Theo nodded, "so what do I need to do?"

"Simple take  the Stone and hold it in one hand. The registration should begin  automatically."

"Alright."

The newly crowned  king of his personal slice of Hell reached down to the pick up the inoffensive  red stone that was at the centre of his new existence. It was warm to the  touch. The heat on his skin was pleasant but also shocking. Only now, as the  unnaturally smooth stone nestled in his palm did Theo realise that he hadn't  been felt temperature in this place until this moment. He was neither hot nor  cold, nor was the stone beneath his feet. Perhaps that is why it took so long  for him to register his lack clothing?

How long would he  have to hold this -

POP!

Agonizing pain  exploded inside Theo's head! So intense he couldn't breathe, couldn't scream!

He shut his eyes  and clawed at his head desperately, trying to relieve the pain.

Then it was gone.

There was a heavy  sigh.

"Please step  into the bathroom through there and put on the clothes that you find  inside" the Demon said slowly.

Theo blinked. What  happened?! One second he was in agony and now he was, apparently, in what  looked to be a reception desk in an 80's office. There was even a water cooler  against the left side wall!

Behind the desk sat  a Demon. Technically, Theo was a Demon himself, he understood that somewhat,  but this a proper Demon. Bright red  skin, little horns protruding from a bald head, fashionable goatee and for  whatever reason, a pitchfork in one hand, despite sitting behind a desk in an  office chair.

The Demon sighed  once again and Theo noticed that his teeth had been filed into sharp points.  "Are you going to get dressed or not, Mr Gray?" he drawled.

"Hah!" 

Having had his  attention drawn to it, Theo finally looked down and realised he was still  exposed to the world. With a wordless cry he clapped his hands down to cover  up his genitals but exerted a little too much force doing so, bringing a tear  to one eye.

Shamefaced, but  maintaining his slim shield, Theo hobbled to the door the Demon had indicated  and inside found a small, white tiled bathroom with a plastic hanging plant  and mirror. He also found a simple set of clothes on a hanger which he quickly  put on and emerged feeling much more comfortable, if still a little tender.

Tentatively, he  approached the desk. As he did so he noticed a simple nameplate that read  'Ned'. 

"Hello, er,  Ned? I believe I'm here for registration?" Theo asked.

He sighed  internally at his halting speech. He could feel that talking with others was  not one of his strengths. Quite the opposite really. The Demon simply ignored  him and pressed a button attached a small speaker on his desk. 

"Ms Addie,  your appointment is here to see you."

"Wonderful"  a clipped voice answered instantly, "please send him through."

Rather than get up,  the Demon simply pointed at the door next to its desk with one lazy hand. Theo  stepped around the desk, keeping an eye on the receptionist Demon as he did  so. When the Demon failed to respond to his actions, Theo reached out and  turned the handle, pulling the door open only to find someone waiting  immediately inside.

"Gah!"  Theo yelped in surprise.

"Theodore  Gray, welcome to your registration. Give us a shake, all human like. There you  go. Welcome, step into my office, don't mind the carpet, it doesn't exist in  reality. Sorry about the pain, we like to present ourselves in a way that  appears somewhat 'normal' to our new arrivals. Helps put them at ease and all  that. Don't worry about Ned, he like to play his jokes. I've asked him not to  but he insists on it. Said it 'drives home the reality of the situation' or  some such blather. Grab a seat right there. Thanks. How've you been? Enjoying  Hell?"

"Ah" Theo  gulped, eyes nearly crossed from the machine gun of words smacking him the  face.

No sooner had he  opened the door than a business like woman with severely tied back brown hair  and thick rimmed glasses that took no  prisoners had grabbed him by the hand and pulled him into the office, talking  in rapid fire, no nonsense way that quite overwhelmed him.

The office itself  was unremarkable. Almost oppressively so. Cheap looking office furniture was  positioned in an orthodox way away the room, dulling the senses just as  quickly as they dulled the mind. On the desk rested a name plate that read  'Addie' and an out of date computer with a CRT monitor. Theo felt both  familiar with, and contemptuous of, what he felt was poorly performing tech.

Theo stopped  letting his gaze wander around the room and tried to focus on the  professionally dressed woman before  him.

"I'm, getting  there, I suppose?" he stammered.

A knot twisted in  Theo's guts. He felt a familiar, resigned frustration welling up in himself.  He'd never been adept in social situations, he could feel that. He'd been fine  conversing with Bbl, possibly because he was a crab.

For her part, Addie  just nodded, gave a tight lipped smile and moved to sit behind her desk,  indicating for Theo to pull up a chair, which he did.

"Now then,  Theo. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Addie and I serve as the  Administrator of Hell, or the Endless Chaos, if you prefer."

She raised one  eyebrow at Theo enquiringly and he nodded.

"Right then. A  little history. When the multiverse sprung into existence this place was also  created. It has always been here. In many ways the Endless Chaos is an  intrinsic part of reality, one of the foundation stones, if you will. In this  place we are connected to every part of every universe. There's a whole lot of  implications to that but we'll go into more detail when your orientation comes  around."

Theo's mind spun. Every Universe implied more than one.  Multiverse. Just how many possible separate Universes existed?

"Try not to  get hung up on the little stuff Theo" Addie advised, watching the  confusion play over his face. "The multiverse is big, make a note and  move on. The important thing I need to press on you, which I do for all my new  arrivals is exactly what it is we do here. What do you think you are here to  do, Theo?"

Theo felt his mouth  was suddenly quite dry and struggled to swallow, trying to clear his throat.

"Well, I'm a …" cough, "Demon now. I'm here to, uh,  torture souls?" once again he managed to end his statement as a question.

Addie once again  smiled her perfect, business smile and captured his attention with her eyes.  "Not quite Theo. Allow me to  clarify in terms I hope you find familiar. You are not so much a Demon as you are a Demon Lord. You are not responsible for torturing souls per se, you are instead tasked with creating  and maintaining a realm in which your servants, demons, if you will, carry out  that task. What we hope for is a smooth running realm that carries out the  intended purpose of the Endless Chaos, extracting pain from the damned and  feeding the Endless Chaos with agony as reality intended."

Theo sat, stunned  at the onrush of information. A Demon Lord? So he didn't have to torture  people? He was more of an … bureaucrat?

He felt a lot  better about that.

"Of course you  can torture the souls yourself if you prefer" Addie crushed his comfort  mercilessly, "We don't care how the pain is extracted, only that it  is."

She turned and  pressed the button on her intercom.

"Can we get  some coffee in here Ned? Thanks."