tbh you arent really all that honest (Patreon)

I want to babble

I want to rant 

I want to tell you how it is 

I live with this pain 

I've always been looked at for being so strong 

so courageous 

but I was fighting for my life 

all along 

I don't know what started this ramble but I fell off of it 

I think it's just deep down I still have so much more pain 

chase dogs for 10 minutes non stop 

squat that heavy bag of whatever that is 

then you go take a bite of that cookie later that day 

and then you eat two of them not just a bite 

you run around 

you do what you do 

its because for so long 

you've done this 

but for the first time 

for as long as you can remember

you finally get it 

you get to have that 

you 

you are you 

and no one else has it 

not even ed 

so you want to always see what im doing 

how do you get your body like this 

what do you do for a workout 

I live she stammered 

I do not know why it challenges me to record what I do 

I just do it 

I feel it as I go 

what needs work 

how do I challenge this side of me today 

and I call myself out on when I slack off 

I stay dedicated to a body 

that can move

I remember

the most vibrant pain I have isn't even that 

its the emotional stuff.

for another