Unintended Cultivator V6: Chapter 22 – What Would You Do? (Patreon)

Sen and Laughing River “discussed” what to do with Li Yi Nuo. Sen admitted it to himself. They bickered about it. Sen thought that Laughing River should take her back to the road. Having gotten a closer look at the fox’s true strength, he was supremely confident that the fox could take Li Yi Nuo there and get back a lot faster than Sen. That would give also Sen time to scout out the area and see if he could figure out a plan that was less of, as Lo Meifeng would probably describe it, a “Sen plan.” It bothered him a little that not having a Sen plan mostly boiled down to not running headlong into mortal peril and killing absolutely everything in sight. Getting manhandled or, perhaps, turtled-handled by Elder Bo truly had been a wakeup call.

Sen had started thinking that he’d won a little more often than was good for him. He’d gotten lucky sometimes. He’d taken advantage of other people underestimating him. He’d also flat-out bluffed his way to victory more than once, relying on that scary reputation of his to do the real work for him. Granted, the gap between what his reputation said he could and what he could actually do was shrinking. The problem was that a sneaky thought way in the back of his mind had started to convince him that maybe he could defeat anyone given the right circumstances. Elder Bo had shown him how wrong that thought had been. He still didn’t like the turtle and probably never would, but he supposed that he should be grateful to the divine spirit beast. That sneaky thought would have gotten him killed sooner or later.

It was with that in mind that he’d decided that they needed to send Li Yi Nuo away. He couldn’t assume they were going to survive this mad idea the fox had concocted, let alone emerge triumphant. Yet, as always, the details were the problem. For all of Sen’s very reasonable arguments about why the fox should take her back, the fox had plenty of reasons why Sen should do it. Laughing River countered that it was more practical for Sen to do it because that girl trusted Sen. The fox also argued that he was older, more experienced, and at least three hundred times cleverer and sneakier than Sen would ever be, which made Laughing River the proper person to scout and make a plan. He followed that up with what Sen thought was probably the only actual reason that mattered to the fox.

“Most importantly,” noted Laughing River, “I don’t want to.”

While that entire conversation had been going on, Sen could see Li Yi Nuo glaring at them. She’d gone from annoyance to genuine anger as it became obvious to her that both Sen and Laughing River saw her as completely dead weight they’d be better off without. He’d hoped to quickly settle things with the fox about who was going to get rid of her. He expected that they probably could find a use for her if they worked at it, but he hadn’t been enthused about having her around as a very temporary travel companion. He was even less enthused about having her involved in the fight he expected was ahead. She was capable enough, but he genuinely didn’t want to have his life in her hands. Her motives were muddled at best. He couldn’t watch her all the time if he had to fight a horde. It wouldn’t be that hard for her to get him killed in the middle of something like that. And while she said she didn’t want to go back to the road by herself, that was not the same thing as being unwilling to try if it helped her accomplish her mission.

Unfortunately, it seemed the fox’s words were the breaking point for the woman. It was an oddly compelling moment as Sen watched her try to contain her anger, almost succeed, only for it to bubble up into an eruption.

“Enough!” yelled Li Yi Nuo.

Sen and Laughing River both turned to look at her. While Sen meant to jump in and try to smooth things over a little, the fox beat him to speaking. The fox either wasn’t feeling the same way as Sen or had wildly different ideas about what would smooth things over.

“Did you have something to contribute, dear?” asked the fox.

The question itself wasn’t the biggest problem, although the gods knew it was condescending. The problem was that Laughing River had used the kind of sickly-sweet voice designed to send someone hurtling right off the cliff of anger and tumbling down into the tumultuous, crashing waves of rage-induced madness. Sen directed a look at the fox that communicated just one word. Why? The fox shot back a look that communicated two words. Why not? Sen supposed that summed up Laughing River in a lot of ways. There’s a creepy cave over there radiating danger on every possible level. Should we go look at it? Why not? There’s a secret that no one should ever learn about because it might end the world. Should we spill it? Why not? There’s a thin-skinned sect princess. Should we go out of our way to see if we can incense her enough that she literally explodes from anger? Why not?

“The two of you are unbelievable! Talking about what to do with me like I’m some sack of grain that someone you don’t like tasked you with getting it somewhere.”

“Well…” said Laughing River, but Sen interrupted.

“Don’t!”

“Silence! Both of you!” shouted Li Yi Nuo. “A nine-tailed fox and a folk hero are about to go off and so something that people are going to tell stories about. Don’t even bother telling me that people won’t know because those kinds of stories always get out. If you two think you can drag me out here and then cut my sect out of that kind of glory, you’re delusional! I’m staying. And if you think taking me all the way back was going to be inconvenient before, imagine how much more trouble it will be with me fighting you the entire way. So, which one of you is going to show me this so-called army of evil creatures and spirits?”

There was a protracted silence as Li Yi Nuo stared expectantly at Sen and Laughing River. Sen had been worried about something like this. He glanced over the fox who had a thoughtful look on his face. It left Sen feeling unsettled. Laughing River looked at Sen.

“You know, I could always…”

“No,” said Sen, feeling so, so tired.

“It really wouldn’t be that hard.”

“I know it wouldn’t but still no.”

“Really?” asked the fox.

“What are you two babbling about?” demanded Li Yi Nuo.

“He’s suggesting we just kill you,” said Sen.

“He’s being all mortal and saying we shouldn’t,” offered the fox with a sidelong glance in Sen’s direction.

Li Yi Nuo looked a little alarmed but pressed forward. “Don’t you mean moral?”

The fox thought it over before nodding. “Yeah, probably that too. Well, come along, girl. If he won’t let me just kill you, I’ll be happy to show you the so-called army.”

It took a depressingly short amount of time for the trio to make it back. Sen didn’t say a word to Li Yi Nuo the entire way, despite her trying to engage him in conversation a few times. He just didn’t have the patience to deal with her nonsense on top of dealing with the fox’s nonsense. He let Laughing River guide them to where they could all take a look at what they were up against. Having been there before, it was easier for Sen to shake off the reverential awe and revulsion he felt. Li Yi Nuo took a little longer. She focused on the temple first, but eventually her gaze moved to the tide of awfulness surrounding the temple. The shock and disgust were evident on her face, but it was also clear that she’d thought Sen was overstating the size of the problem. He gave her a big smile worthy of Laughing River.

“Aren’t you glad you decided to stay for all that glory, instead of going home?” Sen asked.

Li Yi Nuo tried to smile back, but it looked more sickly than sincere.

“Yeah,” she said in a weak voice. “All that glory. I don’t suppose I can change my mind, can I?”

She looked from Sen to Laughing River. Sen realized that they were both giving her a flat stare.

“What do you think?” asked Sen.

“I should have seized the opportunity to leave when I had it?” asked Li Yi Nuo.

Laughing River leaned in close to her and peered at her face as though he was trying to see something.

“Mmm-hmmm,” said the fox. “I might have been mocking you a little for my own amusement, but he was graciously trying to save your life. At least, he was right up until you started telling us all about what wasn’t going to happen. And there I was, gallantly trying to give you yet another opportunity to throw yourself at him. An opportunity that you squandered, again. Honestly, girl, were you dropped on your head a lot as a small child? You should be happy that I am so wise and understanding. A less magnanimous fox might take offense at someone constantly rejecting their help that way.”

Li Yi Nuo seemed completely at a loss as to how she should respond. Sen let her stew in that while he studied the area and the forces they’d would have to bypass. It didn’t look any better the second time around. The horde below really wasn’t an army in the traditional sense. There were no orderly ranks, no camps, nor anything that looked like commanders giving orders. It was just chaos. The things down there attacked each other as much as they tried to breach the protections of the ruins. There also wasn’t anything like cover. The forest had been cut back long ago so there was nothing but open ground for nearly half a mile. He imagined that had been for protection. It was a good idea for anyone living inside the temple-city. It would have been next to impossible to launch a stealth attack so long as people remained vigilant. It perplexed him that the forest hadn’t reclaimed that ground, but the fact remained that it hadn’t. So, Sen would have to cover that open ground like any other invader. That open ground controlled by a horde of violent, devilish beasts and all those other horrors. He finally looked back at Li Yi Nuo, who had been uncharacteristically quiet.

“Well, you insisted on staying,” said Sen. “What would you do to get us into that temple without starting an unwinnable fight?”