Forde Voss: Chapter 4 – Blonde Ambition (Patreon)

The minister of agriculture was droning on, again, the way he always droned on, and on, and on. After he finished droning, the minister of the military would get up and he would drone on, and on, and on. The man would, no doubt, complain that yet another expedition sent to deal with that stupid sea monster had been summarily eaten. When Voss had mentioned it to him more than a year ago, the man had seemed so casual about it, exuding absolute confidence that someone would kill the wretched thing. Every attempt to date had been met with cataclysmic failure. Even generals, some of the most powerful cultivators in the land had met the beast and been destroyed by it. He wished he knew where Voss was so that he could hire the damn man to go kill that stupid monster. It was the least former dark lord could do to make up for abandoning the empire. As the agriculture minister’s drone threatened to put him to sleep, Evan coughed at his shoulder.

“Dark Lord, may I speak with you privately for a moment?” the ultra-efficient secretary asked.

“How many times do I have to tell you, my name is Alvin.”

“Of course, Dark Lord. If you please, this is quite urgent.”

“Very well.”

The Dark Lord Alvin rose to his feet, glad for any excuse to abandon the torture that was the committee meeting. He followed Evan to a side room and gestured to the door, using his qi to erect a privacy screen that would keep their conversation private. The secretary nodded in thanks and jumped right in.

“I apologize for dragging you away.”

“Don’t apologize. You did me a favor. I hate those meetings. What’s going on?”

“I hesitate to mention it, but it seems that there has been a sighting of the former Dark Lord.”

“What?! Where?”

“If reports are correct, he visited a small town called Sun’s Rise. I suppose it was inevitable.”

“Why is that?”

Evan straightened up. “Oh, yes, you wouldn’t know. Forde Voss grew up there. Well, he grew up at that location. He’s a sentimental man as dictators go. In retrospect, it makes perfect sense that he would end up there at some point.”

“I guess that does make sense,” said Alvin with a nod. “Wait. Why are we getting reports about him visiting some small town on the far side of the empire? I mean, sure, we’ve been looking for him, but not so much that a casual visit to his home should get a report sent here.”

“There was an incident,” said Evan.

The current Dark Lord narrowed his eyes. “What kind of incident?”

“It seems that Voss wandered into town while most of the local garrison was conducting a ritual sacrifice.”

All that met that statement was a groan.

“Indeed,” said Evan. “Given that Voss decreed all such rituals illegal, and you have seen fit to maintain that policy, the garrison was in violation of imperial law. Of course, that makes the situation tricky since the local garrison would normally dispatch troops to arrest the violators. In this case, though, the soldiers in question were the culprits. The report suggests that Voss was, how to put this politely? He was not pleased.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he wasn’t. Is any of the town still standing?”

Evan frowned at that. “To my knowledge, the entire town is intact. He was very careful. I’m given to understand that he even ordered all of the children taken indoors before he meted out… Let’s call it justice.”

“Was it justice?” asked Alvin with a sigh. “Was it anything even remotely like justice?”

“Justice. Brutal and bloody extra-judicial vengeance. They’re so hard to tell apart at times. I say we call it justice,” said Evan with an enthusiastic nod. “Those soldiers were about to murder a whole family in that ritual, after all. Besides, if we call it justice done, that gives the impression that Forde Voss is still connected to the government in some semi-official capacity. That’s almost certainly a net benefit for us. Forde Voss is name to conjure with in the empire.”

“That’s certainly the truth. Out of idle curiosity, did any of the garrison survive?”

“The report indicates that he spared one person. A young man who only recently arrived.”

“One man, out of how many?

“Forty, I believe.”

Alvin pinched the bridge of his nose and counted backwards from thirty.

“So, after Voss meted out his,” Alvin lifted an eyebrow, “justice, what did he do?”

“He cleaned up the mess he made of the soldiers and declared it a holiday. I’m given to understand that there was quite a feast. Then, he spent a few days at the local school.”

“Doing what?” asked Alvin with a mixture of confusion and naked horror.

“Teaching. He talked to the children about the empire and how it works. Nothing scandalous or inappropriate. Just some basic facts.”

“Evan, I have very mixed feelings about the idea of Forde Voss teaching children anything, in or out of a school.”

Evan waved that off. “It seems that the children were quite taken with him. Especially during their play times. He made them stone dragon golems to ride around on.”

“Oh, that bastard,” growled Alvin. “He left me here to deal with these damn committees so he could run off and have fun? Acting the hero by killing evil soldiers. Having play time with children. I can’t believe him.”

“Dark Lord, you did depose him.”

“No, I didn’t. He let me have the job. He let me have it because he knew. He knew exactly what I’d be dealing with. He knew I’d be stuck here dealing with all of this nonsense while he got to run off and have a good time.”

Evan got a thoughtful expression. “Yes. That’s exactly what he did.”

“I wish I didn’t understand precisely why he did it.”

“Why is that, Dark Lord?”

“Because then I could hate him with a clear conscience. Right now, I’m just trying to figure out how I can foist the job off onto someone else who wouldn’t be a disaster. Honestly, looking back, Voss was completely irresponsible letting me take the job. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I still don’t. If it wasn’t for you, the whole empire would have already imploded.”

“Yes,” said Evan in completely neutral tone.

Alving gave the secretary a withering look. “Is that why he did it? He knew that you’d keep the whole thing together?”

“I wouldn’t care to speculate, sir.”

“Of course, you wouldn’t. Alright, back to the matter at hand. After he made stone dragons, did he do anything else?”

“There was an odd bit at the end of the report. Apparently, he spent a great deal of time at a local tavern asking the owner questions.”

“What kinds of questions?”

“Questions about running a tavern.”

“Why in the world would he want to know about that?”

Evan shrugged. “The former Dark Lord has always had diverse interests.”

“I don’t suppose he’s still there?”

“No. He moved on after the new garrison arrived. He had a long chat with them about how he expected them to behave towards the townspeople. He was quite firm with them about it. There were very specific threats and menaces. Some of the new garrison members soiled themselves.”

“Some? How many of them?”

Evan sighed. “Perhaps the word all would be more appropriate. Forde Voss can be an imaginative man when he wants to be. You can read the threats in here.”

Evan pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it over to Alvin. The secretary pointed to a specific section of the report. All of the blood drained out of Dark Lord’s face as he read the truly imaginative and positively terrifying ways that Voss threatened to murder the members of the garrison if they mistreated the townspeople. He had to stop reading when he reached the phrase incendiary testicles. Shaking his head, he handed the report back.

“Do you think he’d follow through on that those threats?”

“I suppose they’re really only threats if you don’t intend to make good on them. I’d take them more as dire and absolute promises.”

“Well, I guess that’s one group of soldiers we can expect to be on their best behavior for a while.”

“That seems like a safe assumption, sir.”

“You don’t suppose we could convince him to go kill that sea monster, do you?”

“I expect he’d be quite happy to do that. He seemed very disappointed when the military had already dispatched someone to do it,” said Evan, before his face pinched in mild frustration. “Of course, we’d have to be able to get a message to him. That could prove challenging.”

Alvin eyes went a little wide at those words. “I just assumed that you were in touch with him.”

“The former Dark Lord has been quite efficient in avoiding anything and anyone connected with the government, until his interactions with that garrison at any rate. Still, challenging isn’t impossible. There may be a way. Let me look into the matter.”

“That sounds good,” said Alvin.

The two men stood there in awkward silence for an entire minute before Evan spoke.

“Are you procrastinating to avoid returning to the meeting, Dark Lord?”

“No!” shouted Alvin. “No, not at all. I’m just postponing my return while I… process everything you’ve told me.”

“Of course. That doesn’t sound at all like procrastination.”