Pain, writing and the quarantine (Patreon)

Alright, since I'm up at 5am today, unable to sleep; I figured I'd start out with one of the pieces of reality for me.

I'm one of those chronic pain sufferers. Those who have met me in-person at Dragoncon or otherwise might have noticed my limping and the constant twitches I have, rotating my neck / shoulder / wrists.

I have some congenital issues and a bunch of things that cropped up from training (martial arts). Among them, a twice herniated neck. And, obviously, tendinitis.

All of that means I deal with pain on an on-going basis. I generally don't take much painkillers , just over the counter stuff like ibuprofen/etc. Thanks due to a stupidly high pain tolerance (see above herniated discs? I took a naproxen and kept going on with my daily life).

However, part of my pain management cycle is going out to see massage therapists / physios on an on-going basis so that they can put things back in the right place. 

The quarantine and shut-down of these processes has scuppered that. Since I hadn't seen anyone for a few weeks before things shut down, I've been coping for the last two and a half / three months without some of the usual things I've used to manage things.

All of which means, I feel tired, grouchy and lacking in motivation; as the pain eats away at my willpower. It's hard to envision for most people, but it's like having someone poking you in the shoulder every second of the day, annoying you every time you try to focus. You can learn to ignore it, but it still takes effort. And the longer it goes on, the harder it gets and the more willpower you need.

There's a reason why the System Apocalypse has an auto-regenerate HP function where chronic injuries and glasses disappeared. Or A Healer's Gift features... a healer. I was indulging in wish fulfilment, just in a different manner than most.

Anyway, that's part of the reason why word counts are lower in the last few months. Nevermind all the existential crisis of a changing society, of being stuck home with the family all hours of the day, the slowly ratchetting up level of pain has been... distracting.

Thankfully, we're slowly opening up, so I've begun to see the physio again. Sadly, due to the sheer number of issues, we're going to take a bit to get everything together properly. But, it'll get there. In the meantime...

What is, is.