The Fourth Wall - Chapter 5 preview (Patreon)

Author Note: Preview chapters are rough/first drafts. These chapters have not been edited, expect that there may be errors - however, feel free to point out consistency issues!

Wu Ying woke up days later, gingerly and with great trepidation. He braced mentally for the coming pain, and it did arrive. However, it was less intense, less waves of a body dipped in burning oil and a dull ache that, with some small degree of will, could be ignored. He lay there, in his luxurious bedding, feeling the comfortable warmth of the silk downing and mattress encase him and waited, waited for the pain to arrive.

Eventually, he was forced to admit, it might not come. That the agony that he had experienced for so long was gone. A small part of him, a small, scared and scarred part could not help but ask for how long. He ignored it, pushing himself upwards only to find that he struggled with that. That simple movement, that should have been as unconsciously easy as breathing was a struggle.

It took him a moment's more focus to realise why. To blush a little. Having grown so strong in body and soul over the years, he had  adjusted the degree of strength and effort he put into the most basic of motions. Walking, opening doors, gripping chopsticks. All of it had required that he utilise less and less of his overall strength. He had adjusted to that without thought, over years.

Now, he was weaker - significantly weaker. Bedridden for months, then the process of clearing old damage, destroying his own cultivation base in body and soul. It had taken more of his strength than he had realised, such that even getting up was an effort. 

He could do it, of course. He did do it, pushing himself upwards, forcing himself to sit-up. Turn his head to the side, expecting to see Yang Mu or one of his friends waiting for him. Only to be disappointed, a little, that there was no one there. He chided himself for those thoughts, knowing that they spent so many hours and resources on him. It was likely they were tired, and from the way he felt, also that they had discerned that he was no longer in danger.

All of which did not, of course, alter how he felt; but it did allow him to push aside the irritation. He did spot the set of fresh robes and undergarments laid aside for him and the bath, steaming ever so gently in the corner. That was when he felt a rush of gratitude run through him.

Whether he was shy or not, whether he and Yang Mu had shared private moments; he could not feel a little emberassed at the number of sponge baths he had received. To wash himself properly for the first time in months, that was a luxury he would not so easily dismiss again.

An indulgent hour later, Wu Ying finally managed to exit his rooms and only because the hunger pangs that bit into his stomach had grown too insistent for him to continue to ignore. He made his way down to the dining room portion of the inn, intent on making his way to the kitchens when he found his friends.

They were all seated around the table, expectantly waiting for him to arrive. Upon the sight of him, standing unaided and with only the barest indication of the injuries that had wracked him for so long, they broke into smiles and warm greetings. Tou He even went so far as to cheer, causing the wind cultivator to blush.

Or was he a wind cultivator any longer?

That thought made his descent down the stairs come to a halt, nearly pitching him on his face before he forced himself to continue his descent. He was not certain, not really. The dragon bloodline that had given him a degree of strength above that of mortal man had also given him his inclination to the wind. But he had excised at least one wind and portions of the other, weakening his Body Cultivation.

What he was, he could not tell, not anymore. 

Except, of course, alive.

"Ah Ying?" Concerned, Yang Mu was by his side in the blink of an eye. He reeled back, nearly falling before she caught his arm, surprised by her speed, by his lack of warning. He should have felt her beginning to move, noticed when she pushed off from the ground, understood her intentions long before she arrived. Instead, he had only reacted when she was here.

He felt like a child among adults again, a Body Cleansing cultivator staring up at the mountain that were the Elders of his sect, unable to comprehend the difference in strength.

"Are you okay?" she asked, again, fingers digging into his arm. Too hard, such that he knew he would have bruises. Another weakness, another failing.

"Gentler. Gentler, please," Wu Ying said.

She relaxed immediately, while her parents, staring at him frowned on in concern. When they spoke, it was the Lao Fu - Yang Mu's mother - who did so. "He is adjusting to his loss of cultivation and decrease in strength. Some of his strength will return, as soul and body mingle and join further; as the damage done is healed. But the sudden loss will require time to heal."

"How much time?" Fa Yuan asked, brow furrowed. When she realised she was doing so, she cleared it forcibly, becoming once again that cold beauty. She had confessed to Wu YIng years ago that her lack of reaction was partly to preserve her skin, for the act of frowning or smiling would add to the lines. And for her, her beauty was a weapon.

"He'll find he progresses quickly in weeks, then it will slow down. It might be a year, maybe two before he regains the majority of his current strength." 

"And the rest of it?" Tou He asked, as Wu Ying came down the rest of the way, having peeled his arm off Yang Mu's grip. He did not need her help to walk, he did not even need it at the steps. He was, however listening very carefully to the answers being given.

"It will never return." Yang Laoban said, firmly. "Not as he stands now, not in the same way. He must find a new path," the if he can, resounded heavily in Wu Ying's mind, "for he has cut himself free of the old one. With great sacrifice."

"On all our parts..." the mother was frowning now, then catching Yang Mu's glare she met her daughter's gaze flatly. "He has cost us much, nor is he in a position to repay it my daughter. The tally book..."

A chin lifted, Yang Mu staring her mother down imperiously. "Will be repaid."

"By me." Wu Ying cut-in, firmly. "I will find a way to repay you. All of you." He bowed to each of them, taking care to move slowly and do it carefully for he was bowing deep. "I am in your debt."

"There is no debt, between friends," Tou He said.

"Or family." Fa Yuan added.

Yang Mu said nothing, just slipping in beside him and wrapping him in a careful hug. She held him like she would a baby chick, tenderly and with great care, afraid to shatter thin bones and kill him. He felt a flicker of frustration and gratitude, knowing in some ways he was that weak. And resenting that weakness.

He had worked so hard...

Funny, that you could grieve a state of being; a youth or strength that one had. Ironic, that it only ever happened when you lost it. Yet, he latched on to one aspect of the words they had spoken, taking a seat beside them gingerly after he had straightened. His stomach was still growling, but this was more important than his physical hunger.

"You believe there is a way to regain my strength," he said.

"I believe you have no choice," Yang Mu's father said, firmly. "What we have done, it is a balm for your soul and body. But it is a temporary measure, one that can and will fail eventually. At that time, there will be nothing anyone can do. Unless you can begin the process of merging yourself, of finding a dao that is truly yours; this life is over."

"And how much time do I have?"

"A decade at most. Less if you exert yourself." 

Yang Mu looked grim, even though surely she had heard this new before. Tou He seemed serene, though Wu Ying knew his friend well enough to see how he hid hands beneath the table. Fa Yuan had pursed her lips a little, flicking a glance out of the corner of her eyes to Wu Ying before stilling her gaze.

"I see." Wu Ying closed his eyes, stilling the surge of irritation and anger that rose in him. He had a decade to find a new path, a process that often took others multiple decades. More than that, he probably had even less time than a decade, for he never had a time when his life had not been filled with some degree of violence. 

He felt a hand take his, squeezing it and he knew, without looking that it was Yang Mu. He squeezed back, then opened his eyes. Before he could thank them again for their unspoken aid, his stomach rumbled, a beast that refused to quieten. That brought a series of smiles and even he could not help but chuckle.

"Eat. Let us eat." Laoban Yang replied, waving at the food to start. 

For a time, there was silence. Wu Ying noted the way the others watched him as they ate, the glances they shot his plate, his consumption. That he was eating enough for five mortals was nothing, even if the food itself was rich and laden with spiritual energy. After all, he might not be a Nascent Soul cultivator or even Core Formation cultivator; but he had not lost all his strength. There was a lot that needed replacing, in body and soul.

If anything, he tried not to allow the constant attention, the placement of choice cuts of meat, the addition of vegetables to his plate or bowl, annoy him. He understood it all came from concern, but he was glad, in a way, when he was finally done. There was only so much cloying attention he could stand.

As he placed his chopsticks across his bowl, it was Fa Yuan though who surprised him. She pushed back, a regretful smile on her lips as she spoke.

"I must take my leave then. It is good to see you on your feet, Ah Ying. But... I cannot stay."

"Why?" He asked, then raised a hand. "If you can say."

"My presence here is a provocation. I am... I have duties now." She sighed. "I took the role of the Right Guardian, and though word has not reached all those who might care. It is best I leave before it does."

"You accepted the role."

"I did." 

Wu Ying took a deep breath, then shook his head. He could not object to it, though he knew she too might feel a greater sense of loss in that. That she had left to help him was already more than he could have expected or asked for. Yet, he could not help but look over to Tou He.

He grinned in return, "I have no obligations. No department to return to."

"Oh!" Eyes wide, Wu Ying remembered. His own position, the Gatherers he had taught...

"It is fine. You are on a leave of absence due to injuries. In the meantime, others have stepped into your role. When I return, I will inform the Sect Head you will be absent, permanently."

"Permanently?"

"Did you expect to find your dao in the sect?" Fa Yuan said, a little teasingly. "If so, I will not, of course, object to your return. I'm sure the sect would love to have your presence at departmental meetings once more."

"Sarcasm. Really?" Wu Ying said, touching his chest. "I'm injured, and you choose to sass me?"

She smiled in reply and he returned it, shaking his head only a little regretfully. Her words had clarified some matters in his mind. "No. You are correct, I will not be returning to the sect. Not anytime soon. I need to find my dao and it is not there." He frowned, then added. "At least, not in the majority."

His friends watched him, curious what he sensed. They all understood it, that precipitous moment when enlightenment or understanding was just outside of reach. Silence and patience, consideration and gentle prodding might lead one to it; or see it flee forever. So they sat, waiting as he groped through the darkness of ignorance to an understanding of himself, spoken carefully and haltingly.

"It's... what I need, is out there. Not here, though this is better than the sect. It's in the wind, in the skies and clouds, in faraway lands. What I seek, what I need... being in the sect stilled it." He frowned, looking up. "Muted it, with duties and responsibilities. If I am to find a solution, it will be out there."

"Then that's what I will tell the Sect Head," Fa Yuan said. "Though you will be missed." She looked at Tou He who gave her a little nod and she added. "Both of you."

"And not me?" Yang Mu teased, lightly. There were unshed tears in her eyes, as the realisation that she might not see Fa Yuan again for many years. The other woman reached over, giving Yang Mu's hand a squeeze before it released.

"I think they'll miss your connections more."

"Mmm...." Yang Mu fell silent, glanced at her parents then lifted her chin. "Let the Sect Head know that prices will likely increase in the near term."

"Ah, so you do want to pile more bad news on the sect then." She pused for a second before nodding. "I will." 

It hurt, of course, to watch his martial sister leave so quickly. They had no time to speak, to commiserate. No time to even discuss the battle they had been involved in, that felt even now to have been yesterday to Wu Ying. He knew he would ned time, to consider what had happened, to go over the fight further. A part of him resented it, and all that had happened and the injuries he had sustained, the loss of his World Spirit Ring.

He would have valued her time and counsel; but time waited for no man or cultivator. Even immortals had to bow to its relentless march, no matter how they might stimy some of its progress in different ways.