Update on what's happening and why I've not been here (Patreon)

Hi everyone. I realise I haven't said much outside of Twitter and Discord and need to make a post on here too. 

At the beginning of the month my dad went into hospital suddenly. I'm very close to my parents and it was a huge shock to me with a lot of tears. I just found him on the floor unable to get up and me and my mum had to lift him onto the sofa while we waited for an ambulance to arrive. 

His skin color was really pale and he just didn't seem all there, so I was worried he might be having a stroke. Obviously this scared the heck out of me and I was so frightened. 

After a while the ambulance came and took him away and we were told he nearly went into sepsis, which is life threatening. 

It's been two weeks since he went in and he's on his own; no one can visit him because of the pandemic. I spend everyday waiting for his phone call to say how he's doing. He's had every test imaginable but they're struggling to find out whats actually wrong with him. I've had thoughts of the virus, cancer, strokes and all sorts run through my head. 

Anyway to say I've been depressed is an understatement. I love my dad and I want him to be well and come home and for everything to go back to normal. Because my mind is stuck thinking about him, I've been unable to focus on drawing. I've been trying to do some studies but I just can't get into it. I keep trying to push myself but it just comes out badly and then I feel worse.

So I'm not sure what to say really. I feel guilty that I'm letting you down right now but honestly I can't give it my all right now. I keep trying to make myself work but I just struggle and it just isn't there for me right now.

Once dad's come out of hospital I'll be in a much much better place, and then we can go back to normal and continue as before. I think when I return I'm just going to jump right back into the doujinshi and make stuff happen there. But all while people are telling me "maybe he has this, maybe he has that" I just can't focus. 

I'll be back soon, I'm sure it won't be that long. Just I apologise for not being around and I'll make up for it eventually. Thank you for supporting me, it really does mean the world to me, especially right now.