Oh boy, the first of probably many blackmail attempts! (Patreon)

Well would you look at that. I thought only famous, wealthy people had to deal with this shit. I'm just the underwater hamster guy. This person's post history seems to indicate they have prior experience with blackmail, too.

Please leave them alone for the time being. I am contemplating going to the cops and don't want them to have any grounds for complaint, that I incited mass action against them or whatever. Leave this to me.

So, what is the dirt they claim to have on me, that they expect me to pay them to keep under wraps?
I'm not 100% sure it's the same person, but this one guy was warning everybody who'd listen that I'm guilty of the following:

1. Made a pilot for an animated television program, which was cancelled, because...
2. I was apparently arrested for transporting a minor across state lines
3. I was sentenced to 12 years, it would seem?
4. This sentence was suspended in favor of 100k hours community service (11+ years!)
5. I was then disowned by my family, the story goes
6. They are then said to have barred me from her funeral (she's been cremated actually)
7. I slept with a 14 year old when I was 20?

People were ready to believe him at first. A lie gets around the world 7 times before the truth rolls out of bed. One small problem though, court records are publicly accessible...

Nothing from Florida, where I lived for a couple years:  
Now let's try Oregon:
Not all of these are me, there were 2 other guys with the same first and last name (but a different middle one) listed. It's blacked out because I'd rather not hand over personally identifying info given the type of attention I am now attracting from the wrong sort of people.

However anybody who already has gotten their hands on my name and other info has everything they need to replicate these search results on their own, and they'll be able to verify that the screenshots I've posted here are legit.

So, what's my criminal record look like? Let's open these up to find out what the specific charges were:
I didn't have a valid fare when I rode light rail one time. It's true, I confess, I am a monster. Would mad science be chaotic evil or chaotic neutral? 
I got nabbed one time by one of those automatic speed trap cameras at an intersection. Lesson learned. 
Parking tickets! 3 of these, not my finest hour. You think you can dash into the bank, make a deposit and dash out before the meter maid sees you, but she's a teleporting witch. Now let's look at the sex offender registry:
...and now for Oregon:  
Wow! It's fucking nothing. For the record, I also never wrote a pilot or had a show deal, my remaining family and I have only become closer as of late, and my sister was excited to be back in my life after prison, until the accident.

Only one person bothered to fact check the accusations:
He's referring to a couple of people I used to argue with on a messageboard about religion. Mostly the age of the earth, evolution, the big bang, abiogenesis, whether souls exist and so on.

My brain was less put together then, so I didn't grasp that these are not dry, academic topics for people who have used such beliefs to cope with the death of a loved one. I now understand why somebody would resort to that.

It didn't make sense to me, as a result, why they reacted with sudden, intense hostility to these arguments. They just seemed to be randomly aggressive dickheads, so I treated them accordingly. I would always retaliate, which would only further enrage them, steadily escalating over time.

Part of the reason was, I was an insecure young guy, and arguing with creationists was easy and made me feel smart for having bested someone much older. But I got into that habit to begin with because I attended a pair of private religious schools, one of which taught young earth creationism.

As a smol spergling obsessed with accuracy, facts and precision, imagine how frustrating it was to be mocked ruthlessly by other students for defending evolution, and to be disciplined for it by faculty.

There was no voice of reason to pipe in and back me up. Who would I complain to? The teachers? They were fundies too. They wouldn't put a stop to the mocking, they would join in and reward the perpetrators later.

As you might expect, when I got free from that situation, I wanted some payback. The strangers I exacted that payback upon usually did very little to provoke me, didn't understand the background I was coming at them from and how it affected me. I must've simply seemed like a randomly aggressive dickhead.

I regret that. I was wrong, and petty, to punish somebody for something they had no hand in. I'm still paying  for it today. I angered those forum users severely enough that they dug up my personal information.

With that info, they put up websites of their own as well as comments or entries in others proclaiming all the accusations about me seen earlier, plus some less commonly repeated extras: That I'm a racist, a diaper fur, an inflation fetishist, etc. with photoshopped images of my head on a guy in a nazi uniform, or a diapered mascot costume, some unflattering caricatures, that sort of thing.

I kept my head down for many years, waiting for the hosting of the attack sites to expire. I got some of the entries removed by emailing the site administrators with the same evidence posted earlier that they were deliberately inaccurate smears.

It's true I was expelled from university, but because I offended another student. She was a new age type, follower of Novus Spiritus, a cult founded by the late television psychic, Sylvia Browne.

She invited anybody present to stay after class for a "spiritual discussion"...which turned out to be her propagating Sylvia's teachings to the other students, perhaps in an attempt to recruit.

We were invited to share our views on spiritual matters, so I shared mine: That all of it is nonsense, and that Sylvia Browne is a cult leader who misled the grieving parents of children she insisted were dead, only for them to later be found alive.

This made her voice shaky and angry. She berated me. One of her orbiters asked if she wanted him to hit me. But she did not cry until after I left, and she'd gone to the professor. Then the crocodile tears flowed generously.

She was petite, dressed cutesy, usually spoke softly and was very fondly regarded by her peers. Accordingly, if you didn't personally know him, you'd understandably assume anybody who made such a pure and wholesome creature cry has got to be either Satan McHitler or Ronald McZuckerberg.

The professor assumed this, and I was suspended for violation of the student religious tolerance policy in the student handbook. What if I'd gone to the professor and cried? Would she be the one expelled for intolerance? Would anybody have cared? Certain tears are magic, it would seem.  

When I came in for the suspension hearing, I told them I'd done nothing wrong. I'd been invited to offer my opinion on spiritual matters, and I'd done so. I felt I'd been helpful and compassionate to disrupt a cult recruitment attempt, and that any authority which would punish somebody for upholding truth is illegitimate.

This was the wrong answer evidently, as I was expelled shortly after. The newspaper framed it in a sensationalist but inaccurate way that I had no control over and was not consulted about prior to publication.

I did not sue because, as they informed me, the policy protecting the religious perspectives of students does not also protect non-religious perspectives. It will protect you if you're in any religion, but not if you're in none. In that case, only the religious student's complaints of intolerance will be acted on.

That used to piss me off. But I found that I cared less and less as I grew older until I realized it had never been as vital as I believed to try and unfuck other people's brains. Why did it seem important enough to go through all that grief for? Why did I think it was my job?

I was and am developmentally delayed by about ten years, which my underwater hamster hobby kinda suggests. In my twenties, I had about the same emotional intelligence and general maturity of the crustiest teenage edgelord.

That, and probably some degree of arrested development due to my experiences in middle school, formed the basis for a relationship I had in Florida with a girl in her final year of highschool.

To my stupid ass incomplete brain, this made it seem all the more romantic that the world would disapprove. It was "us against the world". I had plenty of warnings from my friends too.

It was a Scott Pilgrim/Knives Chau situation where literally all of my friends cautioned me one by one that it was a mistake, that it would not turn out well, etc. but I did not listen, because a bad case of the feels made me even more retarded than usual.

I made myself known to her parents right away, laid out my life like an open book so they could do background checks and otherwise investigate me from any angle they liked. Satisfied that my intentions were good, they allowed me to date their daughter.

She and I are still good friends, and talk every so often to check in on each other's lives. I am water well under the bridge for her, but because she's a sweet person she now vociferously defends me to anybody who has concerns about my character.

So yes, I am guilty of loving and being loved by somebody I wasn't meant to. But that is the only true part of it. If I'd been some sort of depraved, sinister predator, don't you think her parents would've had the cops on the phone inside of a minute? Would she still defend me today, if I'd ever taken advantage of, imposed myself on or mistreated her?

I don't deny that large age differences are sketchy, they are certainly a red flag. But it depends on the person. It depends on their intentions, state of mind, background, etc. I don't doubt that most of the time when a man is interested in somebody much younger, he has sinister intent. But as sick as some people are of hearing this, not all men are like that.

I also don't bring up my autism as a shield against judgement. Anybody who wants to judge me is going to do it, I only care that they have complete information first. If you're going to hate me, do it for something I am actually guilty of.

A decade of being unable to get job interviews, or being pulled out of training suddenly and dismissed without explanation, or being abruptly ghosted by girls I'd been dating for months, seems like suitable punishment imo.

It was a painful adventure in a world of shit during which time I briefly lived outdoors in a hole left behind where city workers had uprooted a tree, bought a gun from a stranger at a party and contemplated suicide on the daily.

I would not be the first autist these people have driven to suicide by doxxing, though they do a pretty good job of erasing nearly all evidence of it. They've got members in administrative positions of many sites from which they can censor criticism. They would've made excellent Stasi.

I learned a great deal from that whole mess, but wouldn't do it again. Once through the meat grinder was enough for me, though the experience was...tenderizing. Since then I've been struggling to rebuild my life.

I had enough problems before being doxxed. 80% of adult spergs are unemployed. I didn't need this shit working against me too. I probably should've thought of that sooner, but you know.

I did not give up however, for there were still hamsters to submerge. And the brief portion of those three miserable years in Florida that I spent living outdoors gave me a deeper appreciation and concern for the homeless, as I met a lot of them during that time.

What have I done with my life since then? Rescue bats, sometimes. Other times, hand out gloves to homeless bros, aka hobros, ahead of the cold season.


Or care packages, with food, socks, hand warmers, ponchos, a mylar bivy sack, first aid, hygienic supplies and such in a sealed container so it wouldn't get wet.

Or another round of care packages, with collapsible umbrellas and usb power banks as well. 

This is the side of me my doxxers didn't see. Whoever last pissed you off, you saw only a snapshot of that person on a bad day. You don't know whether they come to you from a bad situation, you haven't seen the gentleness in their hearts. You only know the worst version of them.

Maybe my doxxers are secretly gentle people, that's just not the side they chose to show me. These were the sort of people that voted for Roy Moore, who was as old as I am now when he actually did creep on teenage girls he didn't know, who wanted nothing to do with him.

I knew many of my tormentors, through prior arguments, to be apologists for the Catholic church and their multi-century ongoing protection of child abusers.

These are people who worship a heavenly father who impregnated Mary when she was 13, despite the tremendous power differential presumably rendering her unable to consent to bearing his child. The same dude who did not include an age of consent anywhere in scripture but condemned gay sex in five verses, three of which are in the New Testament.

Or if they were Jewish, they worshiped a being who gave them permission to abduct virginal young girls from conquered lands to be forced brides or concubines for Israelite soldiers. To say nothing of the explicit permission to enslave foreigners, but not other Jews.

Or perhaps some were Mormons, who worship a man that married a 14 year old named Helen Marr Kimball by telling her parents that he'd been commanded to by an angel with a flaming sword, and she'd go to Hell if she said no.

Or if they were Muslims, their founder...well...Aisha, you know. Everybody knows what the deal is there, with Muhammad and Aisha. This sort of thing is kind of a running theme in all the sand religions. One might cynically conclude that protecting pervy dudes from consequences was part of the purpose of founding them.

The nature of human social politics is such that they turn a blind eye to all of this, because it's not what they wish to see. They likewise turn a blind eye to the improprieties of Roy Moore, whichever pastor has been convicted this week, and the legal activities of the Vatican because hornets know better than to sting other hornets.  

So it's not that they were sincerely concerned for the girl I was dating, or even that they were righteous moral crusaders, punishing me for deviance. That was just a superficially noble pretext for their actions.

Their motivation was to inflict as much harm and misery as legally possible on somebody who once made them feel humiliated during arguments about the age of the earth, the history of religion, and the origin of living things.

I said a lot of cringe-worthy things back then, but the only actual dirt they could find was not quite bad enough without significant embellishment. The embellished version of events, which you read earlier, is the first introduction to me that many people will have. People I might've liked to be friends with, but who were turned against me before we even meet.

What sort of picture would your enemies paint of you? Would it be accurate? Probably not. They would paint as bad a picture as they could with the facts, and then take a couple dozen creative liberties.

When somebody is angry with you, they don't care about what's true. They care about finding dirt, or making some if need be. They don't feel obligated not to misrepresent you, and so long as there is even a single slim nucleus of truth to their tangled mess of lies, they won't consider themselves liars. Neither will any of them feel personally responsible for the harm inflicted by the group they are a part of. That's the magic of mob mentality.

Mr. Metokur, who I owe the success of this Patreon to in the first place, is married to someone half his age, and it says some pretty rude things about him online. About his lovely wife Jade, too. Doxxing gets pretty vicious, and nothing is off-limits.

They describe him as a racist despite admitting he has vocally opposed racism, because he "says things that a racist would say", by their reckoning. Or that he's a homophobe, or a misogynist, based on inferences we're intended to make from out of context quotations.

That's the sort of weasel worded rationale for smearing somebody you can expect to see a great deal of, if ever you become noteworthy enough for doxxers to target. Hoping to squeeze some dollars out of you, or just use you as a punching bag.

I don't want to have to show all of this to every new person I meet, because nobody fact checks anything. I don't want to have to deal with strangers trying to blackmail me for your guy's donation money. That is not a position I thought I would wind up in.  

I just want to live my life. I want to entertain you fine fellows. I want to look after smol critters. I want to find people worse off than I am, put food in their stomachs, gloves on their hands, an umbrella over their head and dry socks on their feet. I want to not have old wounds reopened while I'm writing my sister's eulogy.

Anyway, there are still hamsters to submerge.