RSTUM 106 (Patreon)

106: Leon and Annabelle

The night wasn't as long as it would be expected, after seeing her son, Annabelle cried so badly to the point where she passed out in Leon's arms, who didn't have a single thing to say and remained as frozen as the statues of the garden.

A few minutes after that, the servants moved the passed-out Duchess to her chambers and Leon was there standing without saying much.

"Secure the Palace! Not a soul enters, not a soul leaves." Lestrade gave the order to Rebecca and the other butlers and maids that immediately spread around the palace and activated its maximum security protocols.

Until the Duchess gives an order, the palace is in a state of emergency.

Rebecca and Lestrade looked at Leon and were almost at a loss for words as he is. Still, they had to start asking questions.

"Are you truly the Young Master?" Rebecca was the first to ask the bold question.

Lestrade was barely holding his anger but he knew that Rebecca and Leon had never met before. It is only natural, given all the circumstances the Ducal family is in, to be in disbelief, suspicion, or outright doubt of this situation.

Leon didn't reply. He looked at Lestrade who seemed to know the real Leon and then took out something. Rebecca got nervous as soon as she saw it was a woman as Leon was handing it over peacefully in its sheath, Lestrade received it respectfully and a warm yet sad look appeared on his face.

"The mithril dagger of Her Grace." He said and cleared his voice, "It was entrusted to Rachel when she followed the Young Lord to the capital eight years ago."

Rebecca seemed to have been suddenly overwhelmed with grief but she got her emotions together after wiping the edges of her eyes with a finger. Meanwhile, Lestrade returned the dagger to Leon.

"Do you wish to rest somewhere, my lord?" Lestrade asked.

"I'll stay." Leon said and looked around as he found a chair not too far from the Duchess' bed and its back was to the window.

He lifted it easily and put it near the bed then sat on it and kept his eyes on the Duchess as she slept.

"Will you stay here until she wakes up?" Lestrade asked.

"I wish to… if it is not against any rules." Leon replied.

"It is not, of course." The butler replied then spoke to Leon with concerned eyes, "But you have been through a tough time against the Golems. You would need to rest before…"

"It was nothing." Leon replied.

The reply made Lestrade nervous this time.

Nothing?

Most of these Golems drive off many assassin's just by their appearance. Those who got engaged in direct battles with the Golems were always captured in the end if they were not killed by the Statue Golem.

But for Leon Dark… the weak and talentless Leon Dark to say it was nothing. Lestrade had to think about the situation carefully then he couldn't help but doubt the identity of this Leon.

Just what happened to him? How could he sneak alone inside? And how is he this capable?

Questions, questions… all the answers seemed very hard to extract from the silent Leon.

With a little doubt in his heart, Lestrade estimated that since Leon's ability is lesser than his just by feeling him out, he would stand guard in the room until the lady woke up.

Rebecca understood that too and each of them retreated to a corner in the room where they could keep a close watch on both the Duchess and the Young Master.

And with that, the wait began.

***

In her dreams, she saw terrible things, every day, every night, every moment she closed her eyes.

Strange things haunted her dreams and in the middle of all that was her boy, her Leon.

She would always wish to see him in her dreams, she would never wish for anything more than this except holding him between her arms and offering him the embrace he needs to cry his pains just like how he did every time he felt hurt, demeaned, or bullied.

She wanted to do that so badly every time she sees him in her dreams but all those dreams are terrible, dark, and maddening.

Eleanor said that it is her constant worry that transmits these dreams into her head, that her longing for him is torturing her, and that she will lose more weight and health if this keeps going.

Erielle said she must focus on recovering and plot a plan to get him back. Grief upon the living is as useless as crying over the dead.

Vadim promised her that he will get him back no matter what and that he will never return unless Leon is with him.

Lance and Lara watched her suffer since they were 18 and 15. They grew up along this suffering and would always cheer her up and stay around her day and night.

But nobody could understand the dreams, the torture, and the anguish cries of her child every night. How he calls for her, how he is consumed by darkness, how he became part of it, how he stopped calling her, how he stopped crying for her, how he stopped feeling at all.

Each and every time she sleeps, she sees him. Until a few months ago, she had a different dream altogether, one with an arid world, gloomy skies, dead land… a place where only the darkness lived.

A place where her son entered a tree of many smiling heads dangling like fruits from its branches and then he never walked out again.

Every time she sees this dream in this darkness over and over again. Every time she begs the tree to give him back those heads laugh and laugh at her even louder and louder.

She weeps and they weep as if mocking her, she shouts and they scream as if torturing her, she crumbles and they laugh as if taunting her.

She hates it… she hates this tree…

Every time she looks at it, she sees the faces she despises the most, the faces she swears to destroy and every time they keep laughing, screaming, and weeping.

It was madness incarnate but only this one time in eight long and torturous years could she sleep and see nothing. Only this once could she become at peace in her bed and open her eyes to see his face the same as she always used to.

She looked at him and he opened his eyes and looked at her.

The sun was illuminating her room and she could see how haggard he looked, how malnourished he had become, and how… emotionless his eyes had grown to be.

"Leon…"

She called for his name and extended her right hand towards him seeking to hold his hand.

He reacted out of instinct but as he held up his hand, he paused, looked at it, and then tightened it into a fist.

He remained not sure whether to hold her hand or not. She wanted him to hold her hand so badly but all he did was just freeze.

"Son…"

And when she called again, he looked at her for a few seconds then closed his eyes and retreated his hand.

"This feels wrong." He said some words that were almost senseless to hear.

Words that to any mother in this situation would drive her insane. Lestrade and Rebecca were standing in the corners as silent as the furniture but they couldn't believe what they saw and heard.

"I am sorry I couldn't bring your Leon back to you." Leon spoke to her, "Part of me hoped that if I came here, he would come to the surface, become who he was, release me from this burden, and maybe bring you solace and peace… I am saddened this is not the case."

Leon's words were enough to drive the woman into madness but she used her arms to push herself up. Her feebleness almost made her lose the strength in her arms and fall but Leon sprung up from the seat and helped her up.

She rested her back against her bed's headboard and faced him. Leon would have retreated back to the tip of the chair but she held him tightly and sat him down facing her on the bed.

She then ran her right hand on his face, his cheeks, and his hair, and held his ears which made her smile vividly and made him avoid her wide beautiful eyes.

"But you brought him to me." She said, "Let me worry about bringing him back."

For a second there, Leon laughed but he then thought and his face almost twitched.

"He is in a bad place." Leon said.

"I know." She replied, still caressing his cheek.

"Where he has no turning back." Leon said again.

"Don't say that." She replied and held him by the back of his, "My son's eyes are different from yours. Your eyes don't recognize me yet they are the same eyes of my beloved Leon."

"You don't understand…" Leon pulled himself back from her hand and became agitated, "… they killed him."

"You don't know what they did." She joined her hands back together on her legs, "You don't know a thing, Leon."

She didn't understand what he meant. She thinks that he is just hurt and…

"What do you know?" Angry, Leon stepped back from the bed and walked to the large window while exhaling and inhaling in frustration.

"I know they… they wanted to destroy you. They wanted to drive you into the deepest pit of darkness but even when you walked in there, you returned stronger and more capable. Just by yourself, you won against the darkness and returned to me." She said.

"You have no idea what you're talking about." Leon said and kept himself from bursting into fury, "The darkness is still there, the bitterness, the grudges, the hate… they never go away. The past Leon, your real Leon, your son, he keeps coming back and he crawls out of my deepest… core… and he is so bitter and so dark and so… sad!"

His eyes were already gushing with tears and she cried but he couldn't look at her.

"You don't understand."

"Then make me. Tell me."

Annabelle and Leon looked at one another and she smiled.

"You looked at the Abyss, it is given that it looks back at you. I have seen it too, the darkness is not yours alone and it is looking back at me every day and night." She said and reached out her hand, "Tonight, you watched over me as I slept, Leon. You are strong now and I know it. The darkness fears you, son."

Leon became at a loss for words.

"What are you talking about?"

He thought he was the only one, he felt that the darkness was only coming for him.

It is not an easy feeling to experience, it is everything negative and accursed in the world coming out together. Dread can be the only possible word to describe it.

"When we lose ourselves to the darkness, when we surrender to hate and evil, we become tainted by its curse and the Abyss comes for us." She said and urged him to come closer and so he came.

She then continued.

"If you suffer from the darkness like me, you would know that it comes to you from your weaknesses. If you battle the weaknesses inside of you and keep them from spreading, the darkness will have no upper hand over you.

You are my weakness, son, and so I could never recover from the darkness. I knew it was consuming you but despite all, you survived. You don't realize how miraculous that is on its own.

And even if you lost parts of yourself, even if these parts were changed with something else, you are still my son and I am still here to love you, to care for you."

Her words were everything a child would want to hear from his mother but he knew she was not his mother and it tortured him.

"I am not…"

He wanted to say that he is not Leon, the old Leon, but he remembered that he is not Shady either. At first, he couldn't figure out which of the two he was, but it seemed that he was a bit of both at the same time.

So… was she right all along?

Not all of him is her son… only a part of him is.

He sat back down on the chair and covered his face with his palms as he exhaled a very long sigh.

So what now?

He still can't accept it.

He came here seeking asylum from dangers that are trying to capture and return him to Karanberg and the darkness lurking in his mind.

According to Annabelle, the darkness comes to her too but if Leon is around, it wouldn't come. According to him, his darkness is triggered by a part of him that died but can't stay dead because of all the grudges he has.

"So… where does this leave us?" Leon asked.

"It leaves you here with me, child. And it leaves me responsible for your safety." She said and asked for his hand to hold hers again.

Leon looked at her hand and closed his eyes before slowly putting his hand in hers. With a newfound strength running through her body, she pulled him off his seat and brought him back beside her.

"I missed you." She said, "I missed you every morning and every night. I prayed for the Light but it didn't answer me, I prayed for the dark but it left me empty, I prayed for the universe but I found it as helpless as I am, I prayed for the fire but it with extinguished with water, I prayed for the water but it was absorbed into the earth, I prayed for the earth but it was dusted off with the wind, I prayed for the wind but it was distant and unseeable."

She pulled him closer and held him from the back of his head. She embraced him and wrapped her arms around him tightly so that his tense arm and shoulders that still resisted her hug came slowly to accept it.

"I prayed for everything but no matter where I looked, it was all as weak and helpless as I. I couldn't know how but last night, I prayed while looking at the sky… if there is something out there, a powerful one, one that lives and never dies, one that is strong and never weak, one that encompasses everything with knowledge and mercy. I prayed by day and you came forth by night. I don't know who I prayed to but I knew it was out of love that I was answered."

Love… prayers… answers…

Leon doesn't care about all that. All he wanted was closure and until this moment, he has no way of finding it.

But Annabelle was right, he knows nothing about the darkness.

To her, Leon is everything there is. The darkness he was dragged into consumed him and she knows there is no way to get him back but the part of him that survived and clawed back to her is all that matters now.

He might not be fully the Leon she raised but she was willing to accept him as he is now. She doesn't even hate it and no matter what happens, she will be a mother to him.

He wanted to deny it but he couldn't in the end. It is unfair for both of them at this point.

All he could do is let her embrace him and hope for a better tomorrow, for tomorrow's fight is surely a bloody one that this pair of mother and child will scorch an entire kingdom with fire and wash it clean with blood.