Ghost Handler, Chapter Three (Patreon)

Tara was gunning it. At least by Abby’s standards, which were, admittedly: Horse. Abby was too busy holding on for dear life to glance over at the speedometer, but whatever speed Tara was going it had to be way too fast for a residential neighborhood. Luckily the streets seemed to be deserted for whatever reason. Probably something spooky and magical if Abby knew anything. Which, being a magical ghost she knew A LOT about spooky and magical things.

They caught back up to the truck quickly, with Tara managing to go mostly straight, and also managing to only run into a few mailboxes or trash cans. Definitely less than a dozen, which, all things considered, was a success! Abby tried not to think about the scratches and dents and what looked to be a broken headlight. She tried at least, she wasn’t that successful. Maddie wasn’t going to be happy about any of that.

As they approached the truck Tara tried to navigate around the left side of it. The first time she just slammed the wheel to the left and immediately saw headlights bearing down on them. They quickly slipped back over into their lane but Abby swore she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. Which was weird considering she was dead. And incorporeal.

The next time Tara tried to pass she was more cautious about it. Slowly peeking the car over. It was all Abby could do to stammer out “B-Blinker!”

“No time for that! We gotta catch this doggone ghost!” Tara said, and moved into the oncoming lane. Abby’s only consolation was that there wasn’t actually anyone behind them to appreciate the blinker. You never know, though, the ghost truck might have!

They gained on the truck slowly. Tara was gripping tight on the wheel and she had to have had her foot all the way down on the accelerator. And they were slowly pulling ahead, but they were also still in the oncoming lane. Abby couldn’t die, but she did worry that if anything happened to Tara Maddie might come home and exorcise her. Or worse! Abby couldn’t think of anything worse at the time, but she was under duress! She was certain that given a few peaceful moments, and maybe a nice cup of tea, she could think of all manner of ways that Maddie could make her afterlife hell. Other than literally sending her to hell.

Eventually they were neck and neck with the truck. They were so close. Only thirty or forty more seconds. But that’s when they saw headlights crest the hill in front of them and start rolling down.

“TARA!” Abby yelled, gripping tight onto the dashboard. Tara didn’t respond.

The headlights in the windshield continued to get bigger and bigger. Didn’t the person see them? Abby realized, well.. No. Because Tara had managed to knock out both headlights on the car. Somehow. What did she even hit with the ri—There was no time for that!

“TARA WE NEED TO BRAKE!” Abby yelled, and reaching over she began to pound on the wheel with one hand while turning on the cabin lights with the other, praying the other car would notice them.

“We’re so… close.” Tara said, finally. She was right, they were so close. But you know what else was so close? The other car! Abby was too frightened to make this witty quip, a fact that she would regret for the next ten weeks.

The other car finally began to brake, only now just able to even see them. But if Tara didn’t brake as well then…

At that moment Tara seemed to decide something, and saying “Aw fuck it,” she jerked the wheel to the right, forcing the truck off the side of the road and into a tree, and her and Abby back into the right lane just in time for them to pass by the other car harmlessly.

Tara was out of the car in an instant. Unfortunately so was the person they’d almost hit. And she looked extremely angry. Tara was already bolting off towards the truck but this woman was yelling about how she had twelve dogs in the car and what the hell were they thinking. Abby loved dogs. Twelve seemed a little excessive but boy did she want to ask this lady to see them. On the other hand Tara was about to get herself haunted for real. Well. She was already haunted. Haunted again. Double haunted.

Abby sighed and tried to get a peek in the car at the dogs, but the woman was completely in her way. She had to go.

“Sorry I’m Sorry! Won’t happen again! Bye now don’t call the police!” She said and she turned around and did her best to try to catch up with Tara.

“Tara wait! Tara!! Stop” Abby yelled, running after her. Tara of course did not wait or stop. Because she was Tara.

Somehow, however, Abby caught up with her, and when she did she put her hand on Tara’s shoulder forcing her to stop.

“Tara please do not get yourself haunted. There could be a real actual scary actual real ghost in there. That’s dangerous.”

Tara pointed back to the almost-wreck. “Letting me drive was dangerous but that didn’t stop you doing it.”

Oh no. Abby wasn’t having that. She jumped in front of Tara waving her arms. “What do you mean! I tried my best to stop you! You’re just tricksy! You tricked me! I’m definitely not taking responsibility for that mess that’s all your fault.”

“Ok well. If I tricked you into letting me drive I’ll probably be able to trick you into letting me make o—talk to this weird ghost. So let’s just skip to the part where you let me, ok?”

“No. Absolutely not.” Abby said, poking her finger into Tara’s shoulder. “You are going to go back to the car. Get the camera. Hope it’s not broken because your terrible driving, and you are going to film me. Ghosts cant haunt other ghosts. I think… I hope…”

Tara looked a little dejected, and somewhat surprised at seeing Abby be so forceful, but she seemed convinced and after Abby was done she went back to the car to do as she was told. Abby straightened her dress in victory. It felt good to be in charge. And then she turned around and walked up to the truck.

It was definitely haunted. Abby was a little surprised since Tara would often get this whims in her head and go chase after them and it would end up being like, a really fat raccoon, which to Abby was always way better than whatever Tara wanted it to be like how can you top a fat raccoon. Ghosts aren’t that cool and theyre definitely not that fluffy. Just as prone to getting caught in trash cans though.

“Hello? Mr. Ghost? You can come out. I promise we aren’t here to ghost bust you.”

Slowly the spirit seeps out from the cracks in a green haze. It coalesces into… really a blob in front of her. Not exactly what she was expecting. She was definitely more used to things that were more… humanoid.

The spirit kind of wobbled, but didn’t say anything.

“What were you thinking? Driving like that? You could have hurt some body! Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you should make somebody else dead too!”

“I’m not dead,” the spirit said. It’s voice was a bit like if a washing machine could talk.

“If you’re not dead then how are you a ghost?”

“I’m not a ghost why does everyone assume I’m a ghost? What kind of ghost haunts an ice cream truck? I’m living chipotle funk.”

“You’re what?”

“Living chipotle funk.” There was a pause and it must have been plain that Abby had no idea what any of those words meant because that was followed by “Look just open the back door and take a look inside the truck.”

Abby did, and what she saw disgusted her almost as much as Tara’s room. The entire truck was covered in mold and slime and the whole floor was hidden by a layer of empty cans of chipotles in adobo.

“The guy who owned the truck never cleaned it once. He probably got a hundred kids sick he was nasty. Eventually one day one of those cans rolled under the brake pedal. And the rest is history.”

“No… it’s really not I’m still very confused.”

“Ok here, let me break it down for you.”

However, as the spirit was saying that there was a noise from the front of the truck as it lurched. Tara had just gotten in. She threw the truck into reverse and then shot forward back down the road.

“Oh HELL!” Abby said, running back to the car. “This is your fault you need to go away.”

By the time Abby got the car started Tara was yards and yards away, but even from where she was Abby could hear her hooting and hollering down the road. Didn’t she realize it was 1am?

Abby knew that she needed to catch up to Tara. This called for desperate measures. She pushed the pedal down til the car went a whole 15 mph. Blazing fast for Abby.

Of course Tara was going at least four times that, Abby had no hope of catching up. The truck went over the hill and disappeared.

By the time Abby had herself climbed over the hill Tara was quite a ways away. She was on a bridge maybe a quarter mile ahead. And Abby watched in horror as the truck shuddered to the right and slammed into and through the guard rail. At the very last moment she saw Tara jump out of the truck and roll along the sidewalk. Abby pressed the pedal down a little further. 17 mph.

As Abby pulled up Tara got off the ground and dusted herself off.

“Not all heroes wear capes,” She said.

“Tara, you are wearing a cape. You insisted. You made me sew it for you.”

“Not all heroes do. But this one does. Play Taranormal.”

That's it y'all! Thank you so much for reading Ghost Handler! I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope you had just as much fun reading! I already have plans for my next project on here and I'm incredibly excited about it! Expect to hear more later this month or early next!