Life + Patreon update (Patreon)

Hi guys! hope y'all are doing fine!

Things on my side of the screen have been very hectic (but in a good way!) working a lot on my art and then forgetting to upload it. Apparently my brain thinks that we've reached a point in technology in which we can post online with the power of thought! so I'll spam you in a moment. 

Saying that, the point of this post is to let you all know that I'm pausing Patreon for a month.

There are many reasons in this desition, but if you don't want to read a long ass rant in broken English, the TL;DR is: I will get rid of the commission tiers for the time being.

Why?

-Financial 

Trying to be a full time niche artist is complicated under any situation. The eternity under Covid has been hard on everyone, and trying to be an artist in a developing country has always been challenging, combine the three and you have a financial nightmare.

Saying that, I've always had multiple jobs to be able to get by, and in 2019 I took a major professional desition that, although promising, turned out to not be right for me. I took a big loan to be able to move across country, relying on my new income, just to lose my job 6 months later, Then Covid came, and for the next two years commissions and Patreon were my biggest source of income, which forced me to take more commissions that I was able to manage, just to be able to make the baseline payment on my debts and worry about it next month. 

The result is what you see now, an endless list of commissions that I haven't been able to properly tackle, endless wait time for patreons and commissioners and me still drowning in debt. Simply not sustainable. That was my life for two years.

Now, without getting into too much detail, my financial situation has improved greatly, and I'm now in a position in which I've finally started to decrease my debt and see a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Which means I can stop getting more commissions and focus in the ones that are already in this insane queue list and tackling one at a time. 

-Emotional

I have this constant pressure of 'this commissioner paid a lot of money to see their idea come to life, and has been waiting forever and I'm a terrible artist, how can I be a good artist when I have this endless pile of pending work and endless pile of incoming work?' and instead of facing it like an adult I end up doing almost nothing And I'm not trying to make excuses for my failure, I'm well aware that I'm the on who dropped the ball here, big time. But I just want to explain that I'm not trying to rip anyone off, or take your money and run off, just to give you a hin of what has been happening on my side of the screen.

Pausing Patreon and getting rid of the commission tiers for the time being means that I will be able to finally sit down and make a tangible list of the art that I owe, and finish one at a time with the knowledge that the pile is, indeed, getting smaller, and most importantly, you're getting the art that, some of you have been waiting for months, even years.

And finally, and less important, I no longer enjoy creating art. Whenever I sit down to work on  a commission, the only thing in my mind is 'this person has been waiting forever, and it doesn't matter how much work I put on it, they'll still be unhappy because I'm being a bad artist and not delivering as I should' and you know what? if you feel that way you're right.

I love doing art for people. I love reading comments of people saying they love the end result. I love seeing it in your profile picture. I love when I get feedback or pieces that are above my skill level so I can challenge myself and improve, and find new things that I didn't knew I love to draw. I want to enjoy creating art for you again. 

So I will pause it for a month, make my Patreon a Tip Jar for those who still want to see previews and sketches and how I'm slowly catching up to work, and give you time to either delete or readjust your pledge. 

And saying that, I have nothing but love and gratitude for y'all.

Oof, that was emotionally exhausting, I need carbs and caffeine now!