Update on the Info post (Patreon)

Hello all

This will be long - TLDR: Further insights into my decisions and thoughts in regards to split schedule / writing. No actual information in regards to schedule changes (Right now I'm tending towards 4 AH 1-2 Leaves for October as a bit of a compromise but that is subject to change). Read if interested, or bored I guess. Also attached Chapters 6-10 of Leaves for those interested.

I felt like writing an update in regards to the Info post I made last Saturday. First of all, thanks for the numerous and detailed feedback from all of you. I appreciate everybody that supports me and has supported me and I understand most of the criticism that was mentioned.

I get that many of you are upset about less Azarinth content. I'm a reader too and understand it well when a creator has to cancel, reduce, delay, or otherwise change a product that I am interested in.

For that reason I thought it necessary to at least explain the reasoning and background to this decision a little more. Because I think oftentimes creators don't communicate these things well, or simply ignore it. I already found myself reminded of large corporations when I typed out some of my replies to your comments on the update post, as in trying to be too safe and not really offering an actual explanation. But that's not who I am and not what I want to be.

I know that many of you won't give a shit about this but some do and for those I wanted to explain myself a little better.

Azarinth has grown into something quite large. Not by standard internet margins but for the niche genre we're in, it's definitely quite big. With that came opportunities, like it now being my job, tons of feedback, and even a small community I think has grown into something pretty cool.

And with that come responsibilities and expectations. I don't think I ever truly set goals or talked about how much I will post, instead trying to use words such as "likely", "probably", "hopefully", and the like. Because in the end, it's me. One human being.

I can't guarantee that I won't get sick, have an accident, get depression, experience trauma, or be otherwise impaired to deliver on said expectations. This is not to say I have experienced any of that. I simply mention it because I think oftentimes (me too as a consumer) we forget that people are behind the creations we like. That's absolutely normal, especially when you don't know or see the creators, coupled with the anonymity the internet provides.

I think balancing these expectations and reactions has been an interesting side of the job for me. Reading harsh criticism for something I worked on, disappointing people that genuinely enjoy the story, but of course seeing the positive reactions too. The human mind just has a tendency to focus on negatives more so, hence this additional post.

As the following grew, especially the insane amount of patrons, various things happened for me. Obviously it became my job, which is awesome. Next, expectations I had for myself rose. I tried to get better at writing, working on my style, outlining whole arcs instead of the earlier approach that leaned more on discovery writing. And by now I do believe I have a responsibility to continue this story so many people grew to enjoy.

It upset me that some commenters seemed almost fearful of me dropping the story, or talked about burnout as if I'm just another writer that's giving up on what they created. I've written 1.5 million words of Azarinth Healer. Please, have some faith in me. If anything, based on consistency.

I know the majority of comments were positive and supportive - Again, human mind looking at negatives.

Of course I do have to strike a balance. My mental health and personal happiness comes first. Because in the end that flows directly into my work. I'd rather reduce chapters or take a break than turning it into unenjoyable shit. And I'm talking about both the story itself and my experience writing it.

So I feel like I have a responsibility to write the story that you guys by now are a little, somewhat, or very invested in. Of course I am dependent on the income I make from this too. I have bills like everybody else.

Typed out, that sounds pretty toxic but to me personally, it doesn't feel that way. If anything I'm grateful that something I enjoy doing can now support me financially. The following and expectations are what make me consistent in my work ethic and updates. You are what makes me want to improve myself.

So why the possible change then? I mentioned issues with excitement in my other post, in the fact that Ilea is super powerful by now. That I miss the excitement from a fresh start with a weaker character. That's all true but it's not all of it.

I obviously did something right with this story. But it's the only thing I've done (discounting the two smaller things I wrote before). In the last few months I began to think more about a few questions.

What if Azarinth Healer ends? Do you want to turn it into another shounen like story that just throws bigger enemies in there for her to fight? Can you create enjoyable arcs with a character that is more powerful than most of their peers and even enemies?

Now I'm aware that there are many reasonable challenges left. I even have ideas for several more arcs that aren't too outlandish. Seeing what an overpowered character can do now that they've reached such heights is also an interesting thing to explore. Especially in a more slice of life setting (most stories do end when the mc has reached these heights - I think someone commented that too). And be aware that I don't think Ilea is close to truly overpowered yet. She's hard to kill, but that’s pretty much it. At least you can't call it plot armor anymore. It's actual fucking armor.

Even if it would find a reasonable end at some point, I can write about another character in the established setting and world. The questions however still nagged me. And I think in a way it made me not take risks or implement ideas I would've otherwise gone with. Because a part of me said that I have to play it safe, to keep the great thing that I have going. I do believe this was more a subconscious thing. Now that I became more aware of it however, I thought something needed to be done about it.

I've worked on the new project for a long time, trying to set up the world, create a system that made sense, mix in ideas I've rarely seen truly explored in stories I've read (granted I don't read as much as I did), and most of all write something a little different than Azarinth Healer.

Most of all however, I think I finally felt the burden of expectations and responsibility shift from a motivation to fear. And I was afraid, to have all my cinderberries in one basket, more so creatively than financially.

Now you don't have to like this new thing I'm writing. I don't expect you to even read it. It's not a replacement for the likely reduced AH quantity and you shouldn’t compare the two at all. I know people will compare them, I'm just saying it's not my intention to present something better, or newer. It's just something else. And that's that.

Something else that I felt was necessary for me to grow, to not feel stuck with AH, to free me a little from these fears. And it's already working. I felt like a burden was lifted from my shoulders when I posted that update. And in the long run I know it's better for the story you came to care about. Maybe you'll find you like the other things I write too, maybe you don't. That's up to you and criticism, as always, is welcome and encouraged.

Those are some of my thoughts and reasons as to why I'm thinking of changing the schedule. Now I wanted to address some more practical things, comments I've read, and random things I wanted to mention.

I won't change the tiers. Based on other authors' patreons, websites, books, and simply products out there, as well as twitch subscriptions and the like, I think 10-25 chapters a month for 5$ (each being 3000 words long) is perfectly reasonable to me. 95% of it is free on Royalroad too and the general idea is support > content anyway but I understand that many of you view the chapter content that is produced as the product you buy.

And in the end I have to set a price that I think is reasonable. Some of you may remember (or are still in the now unlisted tier - cheers to you) that I started with 3 chapters a week at a 7$ tier. I changed it to 5$ slightly before or after I went full time because I felt it was more appropriate (increasing to 6 chapters per week then).

Opinions differ on this and products vary greatly. Pirateaba for example writes twice or more what I do and her deal is 5$ too. While others write less or the same as me for 10$. And that's just going by word count. Quality and taste are the main factors of course.

In the end I write what I can write, what I want to write, and what I enjoy writing. And I'm happy with the 5$ tier, even if I'd only write 2 or 3 chapters a week in total. I could ask for more but that makes me feel icky. Less would make me feel like I'd be undervaluing the work I do. It's really more a gut feeling than anything else.

Those are just my two cents. It's your money and the decision on how to spend it is yours to make. And as I said many times, I completely understand if you would cancel your subscription based on reduced content (or any other reason) and it’s fine if you have different opinions on the value of what I do. I simply thought I'd explain my perspective.

Another thing I wanted to talk about. I know that launching my new thing like this is stupid from a financial and support perspective. I planned to write 30 or so chapters next to AH and maybe even publish it on amazon, or just post it as a side thing without any connection to my patreon.

And well, it didn't work. I've been stuck with 10 chapters for months.

Just understand that this isn't me trying to rake in more money or branch out with another most definitely super successful story (sarcasm warning). It's just something I felt like might help with the issues I talked about above. That's all there is to it.

Now I know that reduced Azarinth chapters is annoying. I get it. And I know this post doesn't change that fact but I do believe in pretty open communication and hope some of you can get a better picture of why this came up. If you didn't give a shit and read up to this point, hello there.

I'm not sure yet about specific upcoming changes because I'm not doing perfectly well in my personal life at the moment but I will keep you updated and obviously won't change anything in the middle of a month except if it becomes absolutely necessary.

Thanks for reading and for the insane support you've shown me in the past two and more years.

I'm here to write enjoyable stories for you to read, hopefully for many years to come.

Cheerio