Current Mental State, and Poll: Pause Billing? (Patreon)

I'm... tired, people.

Tired of everything. I should explain my current situation.

These last few months have been a non-stop tornado of drama and stressful situations. And it's finally begun to take its toll. At this point it's difficult for me to even wake up because my first thought is "What will happen to me today? What will I be yelled at for, or what mess will I need to clean up?"

I really REALLY wanted to get my comic going a couple months ago. But every single week, and I mean EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. from february to now, has slapped my mood down like a volleyball. It's like fate/karma/whatever is punishing me for trying to think positively.

So that's why I haven't been able to post much sexy art lately. Because I'm just too tired and weary of... everything, and just waiting for the rest of the shoe rack to drop. I mean look at THIS picture. Nothing in it has any passion whatsoever. The line art is shaky, the colors uninspired, the shape language weak. It's like every aspect's "volume" has been turned down to prevent complaints. As such, I just... feel like I need a break. From everything. I've been watching art tutorials on blender of course. But I am also trying to learn techniques to try and find the artistic "voice" I haven't been able to find for years. Something that will make me feel... interested in things again.

Sorry for the long rant. But I just figured you all should at least be aware of my mental state. I'm not gonna do anything insane/harmful/violent. I just want to rest my soul for a while.

What does this mean for Patrons?

Several people have asked me not to pause my Patreon billing cycle again, despite my lack of passion. So... I'm gonna do a poll. If you want me to pause the billing cycle again, please vote in it.