Training (Patreon)

It's humiliating but I can't bring myself to stop. As much as I like it... as much as it turns me on I couldn't stand to see. I didn't want to see their grins, I didn't want to see their throbbing excitement so close to my face. Couldn't care to see what they looked like, appearance meant nothing to me... all I cared about was my treatment.

They always put a collar on me for their leisure, it meant little to me as well. They called me pet names, degrading names... I wanted to hear it all. I just didn't want to see them, didn't want to see my shame. Every night I pretended it was someone else who was getting humiliated.

As much as my throat hurt I tasted it.

As much as my nose burned I inhaled it.

As much as my body hurt I endured it.

It was very difficult to come to terms on what I did to myself on a daily basis. I couldn't let the others know, I was just lucky I could sneak off in the middle of the night to spend time on my own. I was never really alone, but considering I couldn't see their faces I felt alone. Even if at the end of the day I reeked of all these different aromas, when I regained my energy and slipped off the blindfolds it was only myself in the room.... and I preferred it that way.

Something in me was broken and I think this is the best way for me to fix it. It wasn't the conventional way but any other way wouldn't be as fun.