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MY FIRST YEAR WITH AUSTIN

Chapter 15: Jasper does not love everybody

Six months after getting out of prison, my life had taken another unexpected turn.

Janice and I had moved in together in a small apartment downtown, and since I thought it was only fair to leave her the single bedroom, I was sleeping on the couch in our living-room.

It might not sound like the ideal situation nor a step forward, but I had to spend some time apart from new-daddy Austin and to figure what the hell I was going to do next. So eh, living with my best friend was not that bad of an alternative!

When you have known prison, you learn to satisfy yourself with less.

And frankly, Janice was a great roommate despite what she had just been through.

She was doing her best to keep herself together and she was maintaining a good vibe all around the place. Ultimately, this period felt like a nice break for the two of us, being both singles and ready to start over at the same time.

Besides, we had very different working schedules so we were not stepping on each other’s toes. I had the flat for myself most of the days so I could write, and I was always happy to catch-up with Janice when we were around at the same time.

Thanks to the help (and admittedly, relentless efforts) of Jasper, I was able to go back to work at the Man Cave and I took upon more nightly shifts since I did no longer have a boyfriend to come back to every evening. (Yee-haw!)

I also had to compensate for my two weeks of unplanned leave and show some good attitude towards the boss, Mr. Abrozio.

To that end, I was also working shirtless most of the times. I could let the sugar daddies hit on me without feeling guilty anymore, and let’s be real, showing some skin was very helpful for the tips (which I definitely needed).

Jasper had taught me how to flirt with every single guy ordering a drink without having to ever seal the deal. Although it seemed like the entire bar was enamoured with Jasper, it was also a general understanding that it was only for fun.

I was not as talented as he was though. Jasper could make everyone think he was in love with them, until it was time to let them go gently. I guess it was the curly blond hair and innocent face which were making him so powerful.

As single people often do, I got closer to my friends after my break-up with Austin.

Jasper and I were roughly taking on the same shifts so we were spending up to 30 hours a week together, and outside of work, Ralph was living closer to my new place and we started to hang around a little more.

Spending time with Ralph was always an adventure and ultimately, he was the best at helping me taking my mind off things. Even Janice had started to enjoy his company and his “take life as it comes” attitude.

His journey from convict to Pornstar was really taking off by the way.

The “Nine Inches King” was getting quite popular on social media and his X-rated page was finally getting a sufficient number of subscribers to make real money out of it. Like nearly to five figures a month!

“You were so right, mate. I stopped doing content with girls, it was only helping them getting some hype, it was not helping my own brand. I only do solo now, and the ex-convict angle is always a hit. I may even do my first male-on-male collab soon.”

“I guess that might be the good time for it.” I spoke, scrolling through his stats on his phone.

I was expecting him to be very successful, - I mean, I had seen Ralph in action up-close and personal, and I knew how much of a sexual beast he could be -, still, his new-found status was impressive. He had real and passionate hardcore fans.

Just like me towards the Masked Hunk… I cringed thinking back about it.

We were having this conversation on a bench at the gym, while taking a short break. Ralph had convinced me into getting back into training more. According to him, it was the best way to recover from a break-up, but also to meet someone new.

Not such a bad philosophy, I thought.

Although, going to the gym with Ralph was not the best idea to seduce anyone. When I was exercising with him, it was like I had become invisible. All eyes were glued onto him.

We were going to a brand-new gym situated halfway between both of our apartments which, as most of Los Angeles’ gyms, was heavily attended by gay men looking for some fresh meat to devour between two sessions.

In this case, Ralph and his fat uncut cock dangling inside his shorts, - that he was wearing commando -, was the most appetizing meal of the floor.

Just picture this: Ralph wandering around the machines, smelling sweat from a mile away, obviously shirtless, - his massive bodybuilder’s size pecs, biceps and abs on display -, wearing a tiny white gym short, leaving nothing to imagination when it came to his XXL thighs, but also his XXL limp cock, often sticking against the wet fabric.

You bet that the hunk was making money selling nude and X-rated content online!

Ralph was living for the attention and visibly, he had come to love having gay guys drooling all over him… Especially since he had learned how much money he could make out of these guys!

“I owe it all partly to you, man.” He patted my hair as he would often do.

Both my hair and his hands were drenched with sweat, it was quite sticky.

I did not mind though. I enjoyed seeing the gay guys passing by, looking jealous as fuck, any time I was receiving some sort of attention from Ralph.

Especially when he would slap my ass after a good series of squats.

“I did nothing, Ralph. You’ve been training your body since forever. You film your own videos. Your parents are the ones who have given you that nine inches gift.”

He chuckled.

“You gave me good advice, and you always do. I appreciate it. And you remember that dude, Carlos from New-York? You told me I should contact him a few months back and I did, but he ignored me like I was a cheap whore… But guess what, he’s the one writing to me now!”

Ralph showed me a DM from the Latino star.

I had been following Carlos since even before I had got locked-up in prison but the dude had clearly levelled-up his content during my year incarcerated.

Carlos had gone from selling feet pictures online, to posting semi-nude Insta and TikTok posts, to go all naked on more private social media, and most recently, to shoot actual gay porn.

Just like Richard with his Masked Hunk’s persona, Carlos was probably close to be (or already) a millionaire, and I had given his profile as an example for Ralph on how to manage his social media.

Apparently, my ex-cellmate had watched and he had learned.

“So, you’re going to meet with him?”

“Maybe... Probably. He’s coming to L.A. for some collabs with a bunch of dudes and he’ll shoot some scenes with professional studios as well. He invited me for one of the shootings, a gay gangbang. I said no, but then, he proposed that we do something just the two of us. He says he’s straight so it will be just for the show, as if I would have had any hope!”

I looked at a picture on Carlos’ feed where he had a huge black cock buried balls deep in his ass. Ouch.

“Straight, sure…” I commented.

“You don’t think I should say yes?”

“Are you kidding? The dude has hundreds of thousands of followers, it will be a huge boost for you. Just discuss with him ahead of time what you plan to do. You know, what you’re comfortable with, how you’ll share the revenues, how you’ll market the content… It’s good to have these things agreed upon beforehand.”

“Yeah, you’re right. As always.”

Again, he patted my hair.

I could see a dude running his ass off on a treadmill in front of us, he was dying with jealousy.

Ralph and I would often wonder if the guys looking at him were some of his subscribers but if they were, they never mentioned it.

Only once, an older guy came up to him and actually said: “Wow, I did not know the Nine Inches King was working-out at my gym!”

I thought Ralph might have been embarrassed, – the remark had been made very publicly while he was in the middle of a press exercise -, but on the contrary, he seemed very proud to be recognized.

Ralph even asked me to take a picture of his fan and him. He went as far as playfully pinching the guy’s nipple and the “fan” let go of an uncontrollable moan.

The Nine Inches King only busted out laughing. I was rolling my eyes but that made me smile too.

As I said, there was never a dull moment with Ralph!

I met again with Austin about four weeks after my return from Greece.

He was doing back and forth between the West and the East Coast to see the baby, and for the first time, it was Cassie’s turn to come to California.

I genuinely wanted to meet Lena but, for some reason, I felt like I had to show Cassie that this was not a sneaky thing done behind her back.

In a way, I wanted to show to the new mom that I had accepted that she could have Austin, they could be a family. It was probably the best thing for the baby. Right?

Also, and to be honest, I was scared to see Austin alone. I knew I could easily fall back into his arms if I was given the chance… Janice had warned me about that. She too was avoiding Richard (and any of his content online).

Unsurprisingly, it felt awkward to see the little family staying at the place which was once Austin and I’s apartment.

Austin had removed the sign “403” from the bedroom’s door. It hurt, not to say that it broke my heart, but I did not say anything. I was determined to act as an adult there and I had made my decision.

Cassandra looked beautiful and not at all like someone who had a baby a month prior, and Austin seemed to be doing amazing with his little girl. Lena was precious and very hard not to love instantly.

Austin was very curious about what had happened at the failed wedding. He pressed me with questions while Cassie was changing Lena in the bathroom.

Only then, I realized that Austin was sincerely wondering if Janice had not left Richard… For me!

Can you imagine? He thought we were actually together!

“Austin? I’m gay! Remember? We’ve dated each other for months. And way before that, have you forgotten that you were here the day of my coming-out? The picture leaked, the fight in the snow, the car-crash… It does not ring a bell?”

He rolled his eyes.

“I know that you’re gay, Ty! And yes, I do remember you getting hit by a freaking car because of me, but look at me… I was supposed to be straight, and we are, we were… So, I don’t know…”

I was laughing at this point.

“You thought Janice would leave her fiancé to start a new life with me?”

“Stop acting like this is such a ridiculous theory. You broke-up with me and two days later, I see you busting into a wedding, you talk to the bride and then, you run away with her to Greece… And now, you live with her! Is it that far-fetched to think that yeah, something might have happened between you two?”

I stopped laughing. He seemed genuinely concerned by that. And to be fair, as ridiculous as it had been, Janice and I did share a kiss in Mykonos.

“Sorry, I did not think for one second that someone could look at the situation that way. But no, Austin, Janice and I are not together. Are you crazy? I still have no idea how we could describe your sexual orientation but as far as I am concerned, it is pretty simple, I remain gay as fuck!”

Austin largely smiled at me. He seemed reassured.

“What happened, then? With Jan? With the wedding?”

“I told you when I left, Richard turned out to be a maniac. Like, bad-shit crazy.”

“What are you talking about? Dick was devastated. I really felt sorry for him… We talked; he was crying.”

“Don’t feel bad for Richard. Seriously, Austin, I hope you’re no longer talking to that man. I’m telling you, he’s not a good person, and he might even be dangerous.”

“Dangerous? What did he do? Ty, I spoke with him, we were friendly… I…”

“Can you just trust me on that and stop engaging with him?”

I was serious all of the sudden and Austin immediately went back into his protective mode.

“Of course, I trust you, and ok… I’ll make sure to keep my distance.” Austin moved his hand closer to mine on the table. “You’re sure you are fine, Ty?”

Maybe something could have happened, I felt like Austin was about to lean towards me, but Cassie came back from the bathroom.

“I think it was the worst and biggest poo of her life!” She claimed.

Austin immediately ran to see the achievement of his daughter. Yeap… The diaper was full. Congratulations!

Well, that definitely killed the moment.

I took the opportunity of my visit to Austin to meet with Sergio and Alison. Right on time, around 6 PM, they were hanging by the pool.

They were their usual outrageous selves. It seemed like Sergio was wearing an even tinier and flashier pair of yellow speedos than before. I mean, at this point, you could clearly see one of his balls trying to escape the fabric!

As often when we were chatting with Sergio and Alison, I got a little carried away and I started to talk about Nicholas and the other Greek Gods I had encountered in Mykonos.

“You would fit perfectly there.” I told Sergio non-ironically. “You could even make some of those Adonises feel bad about their bodies.”

“I know.” He simply said, readjusting his immense bulge.

You have to appreciate the confidence in a man!

“You would be surprised to the extent my man has been willing to show off lately…” Alison added mysteriously.

“What do you mean?”

I genuinely could not think of any part of his body Sergio had NOT been willing to flaunt before so I was surprised. I mean, you could not really go much further than the full-frontal shooting with de Pronto.

“Let’s just say I’m considering some stuff…” He told me with a wink.

I did not get to know more that day.

Before I left, Cassie found an excuse to speak to me privately.

She told me that she wanted an advice to find a good therapist for a friend of hers, - as if anyone could trust my judgment on that regard -, when in reality, she only wanted to talk about Austin. I know… Surprising, right?

At first, I thought she was going to ask me to stay the fuck away from her husband, but I was quite stunned when she said:

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on between you and Austin but I just wanted to tell you that him and I, it’s really over.”

“You have a daughter together.” I pointed out.

As if I was bringing a new piece of information to the discussion, the woman certainly remembered how she had birthed her daughter…

Well, I have never said in any of my stories that I was smart.

“Yeah, we do. And our life is really chaotic right now. Living across the country from each other, he has his job here, I have my life in Boston. But if we’re thinking about a way to be geographically closer in the years to come, it’s only for Lena. The divorce has been formally pronounced last week. I just thought you should know that.”

“Cassie, I… Frankly, I don’t know what to tell you. I feel awful about how everything has gone down. If I had known you were pregnant…”

She cut me off.

“I should have told Austin about the pregnancy way before I did, and he should have told you before he did. When I got pregnant, Austin and I were already over. I did not have feelings for him anymore, we had hurt ourselves too much.”

“Cassie…”

“Listen to me, Ty. The reason I did not tell him at first is precisely because the last thing I wanted was to become one of those couples who stays together for the baby. Nobody wants that, or should want that. I knew he was going after you when we separated and I had to make my peace with that. Trust me, that was not easy… But when Austin stayed with me last May, we talked a lot, and I could tell how much he cared about you. He still does.”

“Wait, are you trying to hook me up with your ex-husband?”

I chuckled of nervousness.

“God, no. You two will do whatever the fuck you want! But if you feel awful about the way things went down, I do too. I’m so happy to have Lena and I think that Austin is really happy with her too. I… I just wanted to let you know that, as for the rest, Austin is free. For me, he will only remain Lena’s dad.”

Damn, that was big of her saying that.

“Ok… I… Thank you for telling me, I guess.”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“That’s it, I was just saying. Do whatever you want with that info.”

We hugged goodbye and she left me there, confused as ever.

If you can believe it, this was not even the craziest conversation I had that day…

It was a Thursday and when I arrived at the Man Cave about an hour later, the vibe was electric.

Somehow, it was also my fault that Richard (A.KA. Robin) was MIA at the Man Cave and I had to find a replacement for the gig. Good thing that I happened to know one of the rising stars of adult male entertainment with Ralph.

I hooked him up with Abrozio and the two instantly got along.

Ralph was performing for the very first time in a public setting, although I guess we could count the time he had performed at Xander’s bachelor party in prison as his actual debut.

By the way, I knew that I could safely recommend it to the Man Cave since that iconic performance.

As expected, the crowd went wild for the introduction of the “Nine Inches King”. Ralph came in on the stage in an orange inmate suit – ok, I will admit, this was my idea – which he quicky torn apart with his bare hands.

That must have felt like such a liberation!

The bodybuilder then threw away his pants in the audience and he was only wearing an all-white pair of jockstraps when he started oiling-up his body.

Abrozio had authorized me to film the performance to have content to share on the Man Cave’s social media and I had negotiated the right for Ralph to use it on his own platforms as well. The subscribers would eat that shit up!

“Damn, this guy makes you want to be locked-up in prison.” Jasper told me with a cheeky smile.

“Be careful what you wish for.” I only replied.

Ralph was flexing and posing, caressing his hard-rock muscles and then, to my surprise, slapping his large muscular ass. His right cheek got red and they bounced. Hot as fuck.

That was about this time that the customers starting shoving bills in his ass-crack. The oil had made everything slippery but Ralph was already a professional. He started rubbing his cock through the pouch of his jockstraps.

The effect was mesmerizing. The entire bar was hypnotized by that bulge, growing and growing, until the pouch became way too tight and the wet pink cockhead slipped out of the fabric under the screams of the public.

Ralph seemed to be getting off on the energy of the public. He slid down his underwear and presented his massive nine inches sausage, at full-mast, pointing up to the ceilings to his new fans.

The man was a God, shining under the neon lights.

We had anticipated for the show to end there, with the big reveal, but apparently, Ralph had forgotten about the initial plan. He started foundling with his monster cock until he was properly stroking himself, using his two hands, right above the clients watching.

I recorded everything from below, including the droplets of precum pouring down onto the audience.

It was clear from this moment on that Ralph was born for this. Back in prison, he had not found himself in the warden’s office by mistake, that man knew exactly how to use his banging body and super-sized cock to get what he wanted in life.

More oil, more humping against the floor, more flexing, and more spitting on his throbbing dick. The show lasted a good twenty minutes more than what the performers were usually doing.

Ralph only left the stage after he had come to the point of climax.

He looked at me, or rather at the camera I was holding, gave a cheeky wink and jerked-off intensely until a huge volley of cum flew from his piss slit. Six more loads came after.

Thursday nights were always special at the Man Cave but this particular Thursday was taking the cake of shameless X-rated fun.

Cum was raining down on the customers who were living for this. I thought things might have gone too far but Abrozio was very pleased with the rough diamond I had introduced him to that night.

As a side note, my boss was also clearly hard under his pants.

“Hands off, right?” I told him after the show while he was going to see Ralph backstage. “He’s not a gigolo!”

“Come on, Braxton! You know me. I’m always respectful of our performers.”

He seemed way too happy to join Ralph behind the stage though.

“I told you, he’s harmless, you don’t have to worry about him.” Jasper told me.

“I’m more worried for him if he tries anything with Ralph...”

Jasper laughed at my remark and slapped my ass. He could not help himself acting naughty with me!

The Nine Inches King gained about thirty new subscribers that night and we celebrated with a drink after the closing of the bar.

Jasper, Ralph and I had the entire place for ourselves and thanks to Ralph’s explosive performance, we had all made a bunch of money and we were in a great mood. Ralph even insisted to give me 10% of his earnings, “my manager fee”, since I had negotiated the whole thing for him.

He was a good guy like that, I had not asked for anything.

Jasper spent the whole time telling us jokes and being his usual cheeky self, flirting with both Ralph and I. Although Ralph seemed to see things differently.

“Dude, the guy is mad into you. Why don’t you go for it? He’s hot, no?”

“Jasper? He’s like that with everyone. That’s just what he does.”

“Eh, I don’t know how you gay guys do shit, but that blondie seems like he really wants your dick. The slight touching of your thighs, the jokes to make you laugh specifically, the way he has looked at you all night.”

“Shut up, Ralph. You’re drunk.”

“I was wanking-off my wonder of a cock on stage and I could see that the dude was still more interested in looking at you, filming me! If this is not a clear sign!”

Jasper came back from the small kitchen backstage where he had made sure that everything was in order and all the lights were down.

What Ralph had told me got me thinking a little.

Jasper had always been super friendly and flirty with me, but he was like that with everyone… Still, he had really pushed hard to make sure that I would keep my job at the Man Cave and get on the same shifts as he was.

We drank one last shot and I was looking at my co-worker differently.

Surely, he was hot. Jasper had a beautiful smile, sexy curly hair, a fit and lean smooth chest, the freckles on his nose which made him special… And I mean, he was the star of the bar, the one every customer was after.

Saying that I had not thought about Jasper in a less friendly way and in a more “I want to fuck with that hot dude” way would be a lie, but I was with Austin and then, we had become good friends.

Damn. Ralph should not have told me that, now I was confused. And he did worse, Ralph purposely left before Jasper and I so we would find ourselves alone in the bar.

I could definitely feel the vibe shifting at that point.

Maybe because I was drunk, or maybe because I had learned over time that honesty was the best policy, I decided to go straight to the point with Jasper. No time for games or bullshit.

“Ralph told me the weirdest thing earlier; he thinks you’re into me.” I casually said.

See, straight to the point.

I was not afraid to get rejected because I did not even know if I was interested myself but if there was some ambiguity, I wanted to clear the air for the sake of our friendship.

Jasper looked unusually uncomfortable.

“I guess the cat is out of the bag.” He simply replied.

I did not expect that.

“Oh.”

He walked towards me and grabbed my bare shoulders. Wow. He was very, very close to me suddenly. Did I mention that we were still shirtless?

“Oh?” He asked me with his damn cheeky sexy smile.

“I mean, I… I just had not realized you were… like… interested.”

I was not so upfront anymore and I could feel myself blushing. Jasper slid down his hand to my crotch.

“Well, now, you know.” He grabbed my bulge; I was getting hard. “What do you want to do about this?” He provoked me.

I swallowed my saliva. I leaned over to kiss his neck. I was mostly smelling him. Male scent had always been a huge thing for me and Jasper was smelling very nicely.

I grabbed his ass. I was not too sure what I was doing there.

“I thought you were flirting with everyone, that you were just playing.”

“I flirt with everybody, but I don’t love everybody. I just love you.”

SHIT.

I instantly took a step back.

FUCK.

He had just told me he loved me. LOVED ME?!

DAMN IT.

And now his face looked utterly devastated that I had reacted this way.

“Jasper… Sorry! I… You mean that you want us to fuck or…?”

I could not finish that sentence. If Jasper was looking for a relationship, this was a whole other thing entirely, not just a quick harmless fuck between friends.

“Ty, I… Fuck, this is awkward now. I thought that you had realized that the way I was acting with you was different from the way I was acting with any of these dudes… From the start… I could not do anything since you were with Austin, but now, I thought you were… I thought you told me about Ralph mentioning that I was into you so we could… maybe… start something?”

“Jasper, you’re cute, you’re hot, you’re nice, you’re perfect actually. You’ve been great with me since the moment we met, but… I thought you might like to do something with me, have some fun, I don’t know… But love? I cannot offer you love.”

And this is the story of how I unintentionally broke the heart of a great guy… Who knew?

I was in my thirties but apparently, I was still dumb as a rock. I had not seen this young amazing dude falling for me. I guess I was not used to be on the other side of that situation, where someone else was thinking about me in secret…

“Oh…” Jasper marked a pause. “I kinda feel stupid to have grabbed your cock right now.”

He chuckled.

“I did grab your ass so I guess we’re even.”

“Yeah. Can I just ask one question and please, then, let’s just never speak about this again.”

“Sure.”

“Is it because of Austin? If he was not there, would you have considered this, dating me? Seriously, I mean.”

“I don’t really know how to answer that, Jasper. I simply had not thought about you, in this specific romantic way. You’re younger than me, you could get any guy you want. And yes, there is Austin. I’m just not ready for any kind of serious relationship yet. I jumped from relationships to relationships for the past five years, even when I was locked-up in prison, I need some time for myself.”

“I get it. I… I just feel stupid now.”

“Don’t.”

“And it’s not true that I can get any guy I want. I cannot get you.”

Trust me guys, it was hard to tell that handsome shirtless bartender “no”, but I knew that I had to. Deep down, I was certain that I could not give him what he was looking for.

“You’re not missing anything with me, really.”

He smiled.

“I did notice you were kind of a train wreck sometimes.”

On this, he was right.

Jasper and I went home separately and I wondered if I had not lost another important person in my life. Could not I have a freaking break from the drama?

Apparently not… This was nothing compared to what was about to come.

Comments

memo2dt

So I can't figure out if Ty's problem with Austin is that he now has a kid, or because he lied or if he's still worried about Austin leaving him and going bac to Cassie. Also, I am not sure if Austin was there when Ty started talking to Sergio about Greece. Why would he say that he said too much but didn't go into any details as to why he said that. There were comments from Austin, so.........

Devin-James

Wow, first time in this book my heart sank. I’m still a Ty + Austin. The true romantic in me. I was disappointed he fucked with the Greek. I was disappointed he was even interested in fucking his coworker. I guess life goes on after a break up, but I also know when there are two kindred spirits that find one another, they should somehow be together. I guess I’m still naive man with a big heart….i think it’s called a sap.

Devin-James

Memo, I think first it’s because Ty felt because of the lie he felt betrayed. Second, it’s not about the kid, he doesn’t want to break up a family. Third, I think because Austin never really discussed their future. Austin just planned his future and expected Ty to just go along with it. Just my take…..