A Fall in the City - Chapter 08 (Patreon)

A FALL IN THE CITY

Chapter 8: The Castle

“You’re really leaving?”

“Yes, I am.”

I had packed my few bags, everything for my departure was ready in the living room, and I had just told Blake about my decision to move out from the apartment.

He did not seem too happy about the news.

He was surprised too; this was coming out of the blue for Blake.

Things had taken a turn the day before.

Everything had started off well. I had spent the entire afternoon in a park outside, enjoying the warm late-September weather.

It was a Saturday and Blake and Olivia were both home so I figured that they needed their space.

I sat down on the freshly mown grass and I realized only afterwards that I was hanging in a gay area of the city.

There were a few girls (cute ones) wearing bathing suits in an attempt to prolong their Summer-tan, but aside from this group, the park was filled with gay dudes, some openly hooking-up with one another.

Two beefy dudes were even all up each other, doing something closer to fucking than to making out.

I could have never witnessed that in Utah.

I thought about Bob, stuck in a loveless marriage with his wife and kids when he could have had so much more fun in here.

I decided to take off my clothes and to lie down in just my briefs.

Not that I wanted to tan myself, - I did not care about that -, but I had a kick out of knowing that the guys surrounding me were checking me out.

Trust me, they definitely took a good look at all the meat I had to offer.

Showing off gave me a solid brick in my underwear and, like a vicious circle, it brought even more looks to my crotch.

What were the libs calling that again? The “male gaze” or something? I, for one, loved the male gaze when it was all over me.

Besides, the girls were watching too. Anyone could have a piece of Joe’s barely naked body. I was providing the eye candy for free.

Hell, those city college kids must have been lacking some real men in the region, it was only fair that I stepped in.

Nobody went to speak to me though.

Even that one guy who was staring at me by himself did not make a move. That must have been tough for him to resist because he was practically drooling when I rubbed oil cream on my hairy chest.

I am not sure what I would have done if one of them, - man or woman -, would have come to hit on me.

If I were to distance myself from Blake, I would have to find another fuck-buddy.

I was not going to leave myself with blue balls or limit my sexual life to jerking off. Honestly, I was way too hot and horny for this solo bullshit.

Besides, it was not like my cock was difficult about picking a hole to fill. Pretty any of them would do!

Talking about that, my asshole was slowly recovering for the quick raw fucking I had gone through in the parking lot.

I was starting to think I would soon be ready for another “anal training” session…

That only strengthened my hard-on in the park and I ended-up stroking myself quickly, and nutting behind a bush before leaving.

A few guys who were cruising there checked me out from afar.

They did not need to get close to realize that I was packing a huge anaconda between my legs. I am sure they were impressed. One of them cheered when the heavy cream flew out of my cockhead.

Anyway, I came back home in a good mood as the sun was setting behind me, and I was very distraught by what I found there.

My Liv was alone, sobbing on the couch.

When I got in, she pretended that it was because she was watching a sad movie, but a dumb talk-show was on.

She could not fool her own father.

“What’s going on, Liv?”

“Nothing, dad… Ignore this. I was just… That’s nothing.”

I sat down next to her and wrapped my hands around her skinny shoulders.

“Tell me, what’s wrong?”

“Dad, I promise, I’m fine.”

My little princess was crying her eyes out and it broke my heart.

I had not seen her cry since her mother had died…

“Olivia! Just tell me. Where is Blake?”

“He’s gone out with Eric and Zaid… I don’t think he wanted to spend the evening with me.”

“Is this why you’re so…”

“Stop it, dad!” She pushed me away. “I… I’m telling you that I’m fine!”

With anybody else, I would have lost my cool, but not with Olivia.

Instead, I was even softer.

“You don’t have to be so strong all the time, you know. Your mother was exactly the same, even when she got sick, she couldn’t let her guard down. That’s not good. You need to let your frustration out sometimes.”

“I miss mom…”

“I miss her too, very much.”

“Really?”

“You have no idea of how much you look like her. She’d be so proud of you.”

I caressed her wet cheek.

Olivia looked at me, I saw so much sadness in her eyes that it almost made myself cry.

“Things are not the same since I came back from London.” Olivia ended-up confessing.

“How so?”

“With Blake. When I left, we were doing very well, talking about the future and everything. I knew it was a risk going away for three months but on my side, being alone for an entire Summer only confirmed things, and I thought it was the same thing for Blake. It’s not though. He’s distant, we argue for stupid shit…”

My stomach ached.

I hated everything second of this, it was exactly what I feared.

Because of me, my daughter was hurting.

I searched for my words carefully.

“But Liv, the context’s been difficult. When you came back, there was the fire at the farm, we had to stay at the hospital… Blake only recently got rid of his cast, and I’m here all the damn time. This is not ideal for a relationship.”

“I don’t know… Dad, do you think that he loves me?”

I gulped.

“Yeah… I… I think so. Of course. Who wouldn’t love you, honey?”

I took her in my arms and this time, she let me hold her.

My decision was made though.

It was one thing to imagine how my actions could have made my daughter suffer, it was another to witness it with my own eyes, to feel her sobbing against my chest, to sense her heartbreak in my bones.

She told me that she needed to be alone and she went to her bedroom.

I told her that I would give her space and I went to the jazz club that evening.

I made sure not to come back until very late in the night so maybe she would have a chance to talk to Blake, although, I was afraid of what Blake might tell her.

This idiot could spill the beans about us and then, my actual nightmare would come to life.

All and all, it was a pretty depressing night.

Olivia was definitely not okay, and I had to come to terms with the fact that I needed to end things – permanently – with Blake.

I think Fran noticed that something was wrong because she came back to see me after her performance, while she was usually going back home when she was done.

Performing was taking a lot of energy from her.

“What’s up with the gloomy face?” She asked as I was sitting at my usual spot at the bar.

“I’m an asshole.”

I thought this was a pretty accurate summary of my situation.

“And is there something anyone can do about it?”

I chuckled sombrely.

“I think it’s pretty much engrained within me, you know? Being a selfish bastard.”

She looked at me like she meant business.

“Joe, everyone is bad.” She stated seriously. “Everyone. I’m old enough to have seen a lot of the human nature, and most often, it ain’t pretty. But trust me, you don’t seem like the worst kind of scums.”

“Good for me.”

I drank another scotch.

I was not easily drunk so it was fine.

“What is going on, really?” Fran insisted.

“It’s complicated…”

“It always is.”

“I think that I imposed myself in my daughter’s life, in her relationship with her boyfriend, and now, they’re not… I’m afraid I’m the reason they’re going to break up.”

Nothing I had said there was a lie, although, admittedly, I was omitting the main part. I had been fucking said boyfriend for weeks, months even.

“The three of you live in a tiny apartment, right?”

“Correct.”

“Because your farm burnt down?”

“Yes…” I replied, jaded.

“Well, first of all, that doesn’t seem like your fault.”

“You don’t know the entire situation.” I cut her off.

“Maybe. But second of all, there’s an easy solution to that problem and I’m not really getting why you whine so much instead of fixing it.”

“I’m not a whiner!” I immediately replied defensively.

It was my core identity not to complain or to overthink like a wuss. I hated being seen as weak fragile thing.

“Men and their egos…” She rolled her eyes.

“What do you mean by easy solution?”

She softened up.

“You’re not in prison, right? You can move out.”

“Where?”

“You can live at my place, obviously! Joe, I am alone in a damn castle.”

I was not expecting this at all.

We barely knew each other, Fran was a much older woman, an artist, and I was only chatting with her a few times a week.

We were not really roommates’ material.

“I’ve already told you; I’m not interested in accepting charity.” I grunted.

“And I’ve told you, I need some help at home. The house has six bedrooms and four bathrooms, I only use one of each. If you can help with the renovation as we had already discussed, you can take one of the free bedrooms and live there rent-free.”

“Are you serious? You don’t even know me. What if I’m a serial killer or something?”

“Aaah… I know you enough. Besides, I’m no longer at an age where I’m scared of taking chances or risks.”

I had to make something very clear though.

“I’m not a gigolo.” I said seriously.

She burst out laughing.

“When I was talking about renovating the house, it was not a metaphor, I was not implying drilling me! Not that I have anything against gigolos…”

I laughed too; this was funny.

“I just want to make sure we’re on the same line.”

“Look, you’ve been coming at that club anytime I was singing in it for the past couple of weeks. I should be the one being worried that you are hitting on me. I’ve had some crazy erotomaniac fans in the past.”

“Sorry, Fran, you’re a little too young for my taste.” I replied cheekily, in reference to something that she had told when we first met.

That made her grin.

We discussed a bit more and she turned out to be really serious about her offer.

We both decided to meet at her “castle” the next morning and see if I could really help her with her repair works.  

One thing was for sure, Fran had not lied about the size of her mansion.

Up in the hills of the city, it was located in an area filled with large manors and old houses. The perfect place for the upper-class families of the region to live between themselves, away from the common people.  

As Fran had mentioned, the “castle” did not have any tower, but it was one the most ancient buildings of the area and it was standing out, even in this classy neighbourhood.

She had a very large backyard, including a well-tended garden, a heated pool… The house was huge in itself: three stories, two living-rooms, an immense kitchen which had been renovated recently, no less than six bedrooms…

I was impressed.

I was nearly 44 years-old and I had never entered such a luxurious home.

Fran had a room only dedicated to her career with posters, CDs, many awards… She did look beautiful when she was younger.

I also noted a few family pictures.

That was the sad part, the people she was not seeing anymore.

I wondered if I would be like her in the future, not being able to see my own grand-children… This kind of thoughts were giving me sick feelings in the pit of my stomach.

I ignored them, everything would be fine.

“What do you think?” Fran asked me at the end of the tour.

“I think we have a deal.”

I would have a couple of months to renovate two of the guest-bedrooms and one bathroom situated in the west aisle of the building, and once this would be done, I could go back to my farm and my old life.

I would be staying rent-free in a nice bedroom with a great view to the city. The issues with Blake aside, it was a blessing to get rid of the damn couch.

The situation almost seemed too good to be true.

But it was very real. Fran did need my help, and honestly, she wanted some company. I think that we had simply found each other at the perfect time.

Blake did not seem to think it was the ideal situation though…

He was mad when I explained that I would be moving out the day of.

“You’re gonna live with an old crazy woman?! That’s your plan? Joe, that’s stupid.”

“Stupid? Mind your words, Blake! Why would it be better for me to stay in this tiny apartment?!”

“Because you need to stay with family and not with someone you don’t know at all. That’s just the way it is.”

“Family? Come on!” I was getting heated too. “Why do you even care? We’re all over each other and I talked to Liv last night, she… She’s not happy with the current situation.”

“This is the reason you’re leaving, then? Because of Liv?”

“Of course, it is the reason why! Blake, seriously, we cannot live together when we cannot keep our hands off each other.”

“Well, maybe we should stop hiding then!”

Fuck, he was really not making things easy.

What was he talking about? Coming out clean to Liv? That was just insane.

“Blake, when I came back yesterday, Liv was crying, saying you were distant. She’s afraid of losing you and I cannot see her like that. I cannot be the reason she’s suffering. This ain’t right.”

“What do you want me to do? Fuck you in the afternoon and then, fuck her at night?! Keep everyone happy?”

“No! This is exactly why I’m leaving… We have to stop this!”

He puffed.

“Fantastic. Now, you want to stop, after everything! I have tried to break things up Joe, and YOU came back! Remember?”

“And that was a mistake!”

“You didn’t like it? The past few weeks?”

“Of course, I did, but that’s not the point. We have to end this; we both know it. The back and forth have lasted for long enough.”

“Fuck that, it’s too easy! Making me fall for you and then, deciding by yourself that this is wrong and this is all over.”

Fall for me…

Those were strong words and somehow, I knew that he was still understated his feelings, just like I was trying to ignore mines.

“Blake, please… You knew this was not viable from the start. I call tell that you feel guilty too. Every time we have sex… You close yourself afterwards.”

“This is just a fucking mess…”

“Yes, it is.”

He was crying now.

I had really wrecked everything.

We remained silent for a few minutes; I think we were both trying to collect ourselves.

“Blake, I’m not leaving because I want us to stop. I’m leaving because between my own happiness and my daughter’s, I choose her.” I explained.

“And what about mine?! What about MY happiness?!”

“We cannot be together, you understand that.”

“Except that maybe we can. What if I choose you, Joe? You cannot force me into staying with your daughter.”

That was very hard, one of the hardest things I had done in my life probably.

Blake looked handsome and sincere. All I wanted was to tell him that I was choosing him too, kissing his lips, and be with him.

I stayed strong. I had made my mind the night before.

“Liv loves you, Blake. And before you came working on the farm, you wanted to propose to her. Remember that. You were happy.”

“That’s what you want, then?”

“It’s not about what I want, it’s about doing the right thing.”

“Great then. In a year or so, you’ll walk holding Olivia’s arm in a big church, she’ll be wearing a long wedding dress, and you’ll give her to me. You’ll be fine with that? You won’t feel like shit seeing her marry me?!”

I swallowed my saliva.

Once again, there were many things that I wanted to say.

“I think you’d both be very happy in that scenario and that’s the only thing that I want.”

I do not know if there was much more to say but, in any case, we did not have the chance to talk more as Olivia came back to the apartment.

Thank God, we had stopped yelling when she walked in.

Blake hurried in the bathroom to hide how distraught he was truly feeling. Now that we were ending it all, it was not the right time to be found out.

Olivia was surprised by the news that I was moving out, but she was mostly shocked that her father would be living with the 80’s star Lova Lova, in her notorious castle in Sacramento.

“That was why you were going to the jazz club so often!”

“Part of it… The place is nice.”

“God, you think paparazzies are going to snap pictures of you now?” She joked.

For her, it did seem like a relief that I would be gone.

On that front, at the very least, I had made the right decision.

She did insist that I could stay for as long as I wanted in the apartment, that she wanted me there, that I was not a burden at all, but I could tell that she happy for me to leave.

“Liv, this is perfect.” I reassured her. “For the next two months, we’ll be living in the same city; we’ll be able to see each other very often but I’ll stop squatting your couch. Besides, I’m happy having some work to do, you know that I’m not made to stay cooked-up in an apartment all day.”

“I know, dad.”

That was the moment Blake decided to come out from the bathroom.

In front of Olivia, he kept a happy face and wished me the best.

“Come by anytime, Joe. Thanks for this Summer and your help with my wrist.”

“You’re welcome, Blake.”

I shook his hand goodbye.

That was awkward.

I was dying inside but in all of this drama, I thought that maybe, I had avoided the worst of the crash.

Just maybe, things were still salvageable?

Blake and I had been a fun distraction but as soon as it had become more than that, I should have put an end to this madness.

Moreover, Blake was young and he would get over it, over me.

They could mend their relationship and if they did not, at the very least, I would not be there to witness the chaos, and I would no longer be the direct reason why.