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Pathfinder Kingmaker Imperial Edition Contest (Patreon)

Published:
2021-05-22 12:27:22
Imported:
2021-08

Content

Hope your weekends are shaping up nicely!

The video is up, and Kingmaker is on sale on both GOG through the video link, and also on sale on the Epic Games Store if you prefer that. Funnily enough it was being discounted at about the same rate on Steam a week or two ago but I barely missed that window. Figures.

Still, in honor of the Deal with the Devil quest Kingmaker has, I have three copies of the Imperial Edition of Kingmaker up for grabs which includes all the DLC, the soundtrack, the digital artbook, and all the other goodies of that type etc. To enter, simply leave a comment with your most "that guy" or "that character" story you know of from roleplaying group experiences. I'll pick some favorites out next Friday who will each receive a GOG key for a copy. 

Thanks as always for your support!

Comments

Samuel Albert Mell

My biggest That Guy experience has to be in Baldur's Gate 2, where there is also a swashbuckling rogue (named Saemon Havarian) who suddenly shoves himself into your story and is about as terrible as you make Darven out to be. Like Deal With The Devil, no matter what choices you make you basically have to deal with him and the game does its best to not let you kill him, with him teleporting away if you attack him. If you side with him, he betrays you. If you don't side with him, you miss out on an entire level of the game in an undersea shark people kingdom. He's awful.

Anonymous

So I've only ever had the chance to play DnD once, and it was... An experience. Joined up with a friend for an Adventurer(? Some 5e casual system) session at my local games store. Had a very tame but fun druid character I was pretty excited to play as. Rainy day, crazy busy public transport, but we finally get there just in time. First things first, the 2 DMs say we can't play at the same table. Ok, no worries, I'm very inexperienced but don't mind learning from strangers. I sit at my table and start chatting with people, all nice guys, mostly new like me. The ten or so years older than us DM lady kills one of the new guys in our first combat encounter about 30 minutes in... We all pitch in asking for ways to like, resurrect him or 'put his soul into a different body' or something but nope, DM is insistent he's not allowed to keep playing tonight. The poor guy has never played before and is the ride for one of the other players at the table, so he just sits there for the next 2 hours on his phone. I already hate this DM by now and insist on dragging dead guys body with me as a show of protest (this might have been a bad call) and get downed at the beginning of the next two combat encounters by I think it was rats then bees. Luckily the guy sitting next to me, one of the two experienced players, has been fairly openly cheating with his rolls by just changing it to a better number literally every time it's not a natural 17+. I don't mind, keeps the story going. Eventually we get towards the end of the session where we need to sneak into a party at a castle to kill a succubus (hmm). Everyone needs to roleplay and convince the guard they should be hired as catering staff. The other experienced player and the DM spend over 20 minutes on their dialogue while we watch, then DM lets us know time is running out so the rest of us have a max of 1 minute. The entire party scene just kind of sucks, but we get to the succubus fight, where the DM very uncomfortably cosplay the succubus. I of course get downed after my first roll. That's fine, dual axe wielding dice master beside me fudges all his rolls to be 17+ and wins us the fight. I'm told I gained a level and an item. I say thanks, turn around, and delete the DnD Beyond app and the guidebooks I bought from my phone. Maybe I'll try again next year. Sometimes the DM is that guy

Anonymous

I was running a pathfinder campaign online via roll 20, no matter what person or monster was in front of us the new guy in our group would attempt to seduce them, Rats? Hot, humans? hot giant spiders? Very hot. Eventually once I flat out refused to humor him, he started to say all this sexual deviant r34 stuff to a buddy of mines gf (who was also playing) asking in character for "the essence of this fine lady's toes" needless to say that campaign became spoiled like hot milk the second this dude starting spouting off his neckbeardisms

Anonymous

It's simple: fastball special. We've been lead towards a large chunk of rock too tall to climb by a halfling who's telling us to help her friends. I grab onto the halfing and tell her to get ready for the fastball special and she is unaware what this entails. After magically floating up towards some cult leaders who have stolen the several halflings as first sight I scream "SAVE YOUR FRIENDS" and chuck the halfing at cult member about to sacrifice to Barboluk. Instead of falling off a cliff somehow she lands directly on top of him, with a dagger I lent piercing his temple. Fastball special, works everytime.

Anonymous

Not really a "That guy" experience, but the funniest story I have of Pathfinder is that the four of us (Wizard, Fighter, Ranger, Monk) were assaulting a hobgoblin encampment. it was in like an abandon quarry, so natural elevation on three sides of it, front entrance had a mine field behind it, and the rear entrance was a L shaped stairway that snaked up the side of the cliff. At first everything was going well the Monk, Fighter, and Ranger all had a bag with 6 alchemist fires in them, with the intention to bomb the guard towers in an effort to dominate the rear stairway as fast as possible. It never came to this, our Wizard created pits in such a way that collapsed the guard towers into the camp, one of which landed on the barracks tent which killed several hobgoblins immediately. from here we got overbrazen, as we took control of the stairway the monk pushed out into the Quarry floor, and the Boss of the Camp got inbetween him and the rest of the party on the stairway. What happened next took place over a single 6 second round. the boss Critical striked the monk just short of outright killing him, as the horde of hobgoblins assaulted the stairs the ranger let loose a fire arrow aimed at the bag of alchemist fire the monk had on his belt. the resulting explosion incinerated four hobgoblins, and severally injured the boss. Two more bags were thrown at the bottom of the stairs during our retreat. The only remains of the Monk we found were the magic trinkets that he was wearing. Ended up having to retreat and regroup after this encounter, the following week we came back and managed to have another scruffy fight, but we took the camp over. Funny enough this was the Monks last session with us, since he was starting a new job, this fairwell was never intended, lead to a very interesting aftermath session once we all got back to our base of operations. in a later session the GM incinerated my characters Dad in a hostage situation that went horrifically wrong. My character is going to need alot of counseling after this campaign.

James Miller

I already own this game and beat it once but what the heck I'll share. So I had this player once who we will call Alec. He was this massive power gamer who would do things like abuse magic item creation rules to get cheap magic items that could give him access to the wish spell at level 4 by using ammunition rules that would divide the cost by 50. He did all kinds of things like get into a fight with another player to try and bring the most broken character into each session, blow up entire cities to show off how cool he was, and spend several rounds only buffing so he could take out bosses in a single hit. The worst of it was probably how he constantly hated elves (in a kinda obsessive kind of hate) and would kill any elven pcs and npcs he could to prove his point. He even loved to tell the story of how he threw another player out a window for playing a very annoying elven paladin. I don't play with him anymore as I cut him out of my friend group after he forced one of my characters into a fight with an over powered vampire so he could have his dmpc save the day, but his legacy lingers in my ban list of several broken mechanics.

Anonymous

I think it was my first DND campaigns and I had set up my backstory with the DM where basically I had been left for by dead by some shadowy organization and my life long quest was to find out who did it. And so as we're doing the campaign there are sometimes npcs we fight that have the information I need for my personal quest. And so rather than kill them we would leave them alive so I could question them. Except Everytime it seemed I would finally get some answer this one player would just kill the npc right as they were gonna give me some clue, basically blue balling my personal quest. I think it happened like 5 different times and the DM let it happen Everytime. I ended up joining a dragon cult and leaving the group.

Anonymous

There was a game, when I was quite young, where my dad was the dungeon master, and where we were a bunch of snazzy pre-teens mostly playing our very first DnD game. Since we needed one more character, my dad played him as well. But when we asked said character to open a specific door, he said no. It was a trap, of course, but my friend sprung it happily – and unknowingly – nonetheless. A surprise rat attack! "Use your sword!", we yelled at the friend in question. To which he answered, looking at his archer character's inventory: "I didn't buy one!" And so, he died. Killed by a rat. Because he didn't have a sword. And my father had to invent a very convoluted way to revive him in order to continue the adventure.

Anonymous

My funniest and most memorable that guy experience was my second DND game ever. Our last campaign hadn’t worked out so we’ll because the previous DM kept self inserting himself into the plot. Our next DM had SPENT weeks meticulously creating a grand adventure plot inspired by Berserk. One of the players decided they wanted to be a Paladin this time around. With the explicit decision of role playing as and I quote “A dad”. As the game started that player ended up just cracking dad jokes half the time and buying lots of meat for a “team BBQ” later. Long story short the players end up derailing the quest line. They end up trying to purchase a boat. So the dad paladin attempts to talk to the ship captain for a laboriously long time. Completely getting side tracked and talking about proper magical grilling techniques. All while this was happening the rest of the party killed the rest of the crew unbeknownst to the Dad. When he found out what happened he attempted to “ground” the rest of the party and when that worked out he decided to “whip out the belt” and take on the entire rest of the team. Through sheer fucking luck he had like 3 d20s in a row and actually nearly took out the entire team. Taking care not to actually kill them so he could “drag their sorry asses back to the good quest giver who was waiting on them”. During this he began going on a rant about responsibility and not leaving quest givers in the cold or stealing is wrong because “he hadn’t raised the party this way”. Through sheer luck someone managed to knock him out during this rant. The rest of the party tied him to the front of the ship like one of those mermaids. When he awoke he was furious and told the party they were grounded and he’d be turning the stolen ship right around and making everyone apologize. Eventually he broke free and killed the entire party by lighting explosive barrels beneath the ship on fire forcing everyone to role new characters. From this point he became to call himself the “Vindicator Dad” and ran around the game “punishing naughty children” while the rest of the party chased him for revenge. To this day they never caught him.

Anonymous

Nothing horrific but really weird, once had a guy play a Drunken Master in DND3.5 where he wanted to modify the class to drink milk and he played a character that was lactose intolerant. Guy didn't drink and didn't want to role play drinking. He wanted the final Fire breath power to just be poisonous gas farts....

Anonymous

I was the DM for a group on roll20. A friend of a friend joined and she had issues. Outside of the game she was very manipulative, and people started complaining. Took like only a week or two to see she wouldn't change before I kicked her. A couple of things she would do in game, get her character naked at any opportunity. She would always be the center of attentions, and try to interfere with the most basic off things the party did. Honestly, outside of the game was the real issue. She was suicidal and repeatedly made it sound like if she was kicked she would kill herself (She is still alive). Not the best off story's, and not the worst off them. Kinda happy I don't have a worse one.

mandaloregaming
>>60354435

I actually thought Darven was supposed to be some in-joke reference to Havarian at first. What a world.

Anonymous

God yeah I have a story about “that guy” and how his edgelord character caused the party to split and derailed the entire quest of the campaign. We were still pretty new to this campaign, and we had taken a quest to go clear out the forest. Apparently something was raiding nearby caravans, and the local lord wanted us to figure out what it was and deal with it. So we went off into the woods, with “that guys” character in the lead. Now of course, his character was some furry wolfman alpha Naruto-knockoff, so he was taking point and using tracking to try and find out whatever was hiding in this forest. We travel for a bit and eventually we get surrounded by a bunch of beastmen, so the rest of the party readies ourselves for battle while his character starts taking to them, since nobody else can speak beastkin or whatever. So, turns out the DM was trying to have a fun intro to the main quest with some character backstory in it, and so this little band of beastmen happened to be refugees who were just raiding to survive, and it turns out that one of “that guys” relatives was in this pack. Now, “that guy” decides that, since his character is a brooding, edgy, “does what he wants” kind of OC, he isn’t going to inform the party of this and deescalate the situation. Instead, he decided to just attack the party without telling us anything. So while he savages my friend’s ranger character, I start throwing fire lances into the woods, and the whole situation degenerates into a complete clusterfuck. By this point the DM is mortified, and says OOC “What the fuck are you doing dude?” And the guy is just like “They threatened a member of my clan. The clan is above all, I couldn’t let them do that.” So instead of an interesting quest about helping these refugees we instead have to conduct a fighting retreat out of the woods against a member of our party and some NPCs that were 3 levels higher than us. Luckily the DM didn’t have them pursue us otherwise it would have been a TPW. So yeah, the DM has to create a whole new set of quests for us to do since the beastmen were now our enemies, and “that guy” had to make a new character since his could never come back. He never once said sorry for fucking the entire game up. We don’t play with him anymore lol.

Robert Socal
>>60373539

This is the best way to play table top. Other than not playing table top.

Anonymous

Worst story I have is actually out of my fiance's old D&D group. Everything was going pretty well, until the DM brought in a character that had a somewhat planned relationship with one of the PCs. That in and of itself isn't an issue at all, but that NPC ended up becoming a constant party member. And the PC and that NPC would get into talks/interactions/arguments that would last for literal /hours/ with no space for any other player to get to interject or have anything. These talks would be circular and repeat themselves frequently. It felt like a text roleplay they had had in private. Again, fine, but when it's taking 2.5 hours of a 4 hour session leaving no room for the other players, /that's a problem/. They reached the end of an arc for one of the PCs, and after a huge fight, they had another conversation that went on at least an hour. They left no room for the closure of the character whose arc was resolving, or the near-death experiences of some of the other PCs. They went to the arc PC's village afterwards and there was a big celebration that their problem was resolved. This celebration....was once again eaten up by the PC and NPC argue-flirting the entire time. The PC whose arc that was didn't get time for anything more than a short couple minute scene with another PC. No chance to talk to the villagers, talk to their mother, visit their mentor's grave, get any kind of closure. No, it was all taken up by those two talking in circles again. After this, there was a conversation about how much time the two of them were hogging and how it was starting to spoil the game for everyone else. Especially when the NPC basically made the one they were flirting with the Main Character Of The Story. The DM took it intensely personally, victimizing herself and calling herself a bad DM and basically ending the game because she couldn't take the constructive criticism. I'm all for the kind of relationship the DM and that PC were building up, but it hogged so much time and ruined the game for everyone else. And then the response to the constructive criticism was so self-victimizing that it completely spoiled the game for everyone, and nobody ever tried to pick it back up. That's probably the worst experience I've seen.

Magicide

Two stories about the same guy. First he was playing a Satyr Paladin and was very proud of his massive saves. We were fighting vampires and while RPing in a solo situation, a vampire tried to charm him. In his hubris he chose to stare back in silence and lo and behold, was charmed almost immediately. Ultimately he attacked the party and "sadly" he was killed and not resurrected for his betrayal. In the other incident, the same guy was a Dwarf Cleric with a high strength and was holding the party treasure. One night in town, his character shows up in the morning with the most ornate horse armor with a magic aura our characters had seen. When confronted he said he spent the party money on the horse since he wanted to become a Lancer. One of the other guys was almost at the point of launching across the table at him over it. Unfortunately his poker face fell apart and he fessed up that he had spent his own money to hire a mage to create an illusion just to get a reaction out of us.

Anonymous

I actually don't have too many stories of "that guy" players or characters, but I will share that I once DMed for my cousin and his wife, neither of which had played d&d before. She made a perfectly decent character. My cousin, on the other hand, made a barbarian whose sole goal in life was to collect the testicles of slain enemies and wear them as a necklace. Out of spite, I made every enemy they encountered female. Not to be outdone, he convinced his wife (who was playing a wizard) to polymorph every enemy before they died, in the hopes that they would have salvageable testicles (he did not understand how polymorph worked). When that failed, his character committed suicide. You can probably guess what his male character severed in order to bleed out.

Anonymous

Once in a D&D game we were in a town where the locals had been turned undead thanks to poison gas from a toxic volcano. I had purchased some ball bearings from the last shop, so when the shamblers went after us, I threw them on the floor. The roll succeeded so the zombies tripped all over them Scooby-Doo style.

Anonymous

I'm the DM of a game with 4 gamers who have never played D&D before. Thats fine, they like RPGs, they know what it kinda is. I gave them some homework to think up a character. and then we get to session 0: I have 3 wonderful characters, with backgrounds and aspirations. Pretty good stuff! And there's That Guy. He minmaxed a variant human cleric/wizard, with like the most obscure facts from everything combined to become the powerhouse. And he didn't even have a name for his character! So we ended up calling him Max Jr., to commemorate his minmaxing abilities.

Ultracrab

We have a "that guy" in our current campaign. He has no interest in the mechanics of the game or advancing the story, he just "lul I am a crazy person" anytime he gets any attention. I'm all for having a little fun with some wacky personality quirks, my character's holy symbol is a petrified cheese danish that has a vague image of Bahamut the way grilled cheese looks like Jesus, but it's just fluff that has no effect on the function of item. That guy, though, takes every opportunity to be useless in combat and an active hinderance in non-combat RPs. A few examples: Setting a library on fire because he is illiterate Putting away his Axe (Barbarian) and throwing rocks instead with no proficiency Using speak with animals on every single animal we have ever met (this one is iffy since one time it did lead us to a corrupted camp of kobolds) Threatening every NPC we meet so that the rest of the party has to work even harder to make progress Shitting his pants because "hilarious" Wanton murder of harmless livestock (wanted xp too) And the piece de resistance - missing 3 consecutive sessions and then messaging the group and saying, "Hey since I don't know what is going on in the story any more, can I just change my alignment to chaotic stupid and try to ruin everything?" He was politely told to fuck off.