February Rewards Sent! And Important Talk (Patreon)

Sent the rewards yesterday! If you haven't received a message please let me know asap.

I'm super late this time because of a bunch of things but let me address the COVID19 issue first because it is very important. First of all, I hope all you fine people and your families are safe. I really hope none of us contract the virus.

Personally, I am healthy and I have no reason to believe that I have the virus. My city doesn't have a confirmed case of the virus yet, but it's hard to be sure because I don't think my city has a lot of testing kits, and you need a lot of tests, etc etc. In any case, there's no use worrying too much over something I have no control over so I'm just taking all the precautions - stay at home and just hope this blows over soon.

The actual reason I'm late with the rewards is, and this is pretty hard to admit, it's because I'm actually struggling to draw porn. 😅😅 Yes, I'm an R18 artist, and I'm struggling to draw porn. Yes the irony is not lost on me. I want to be clear though that the physical process of drawing itself is fine, what I'm struggling with is coming up with lewd ideas that I like. And I recently came to the realization that, perhaps I'm not really cut out for porn?

I'm gonna be real honest with you guys. Apart from a few select sexy drawings like the Rhea one (which I'm very fond of) I don't really enjoy drawing lewds all that much anymore. It takes so much energy from me to draw lewds nowadays compared to when I started nearly 2 years ago. And I'm at a point where I'm spending more time looking at references and sketching ideas only to scrap them. more than actual drawing. I'm so easily frustrated when I can't think of a good pose or angle that I'm happy with. And I refuse to just copy a drawing because it just makes me feel terrible.

After a lot of thinking, I believe it all comes to down to this: I achieved what I set out to do when I started drawing porn, and that is to prove to myself that I can draw porn. Simple as that. There's a reason why I can't draw Wiz porn, and part of that is deep inside I don't actually want to draw porn forever - or at least I don't want to become just a porn artist.

I want to try something else. The astute of you will have already predicted that it's 3D and gamedev and you'd be right. You know, I'm 28 and I'm turning 29 this May. I'm not that old, but as I get older I get the looming feeling that doors are going to close one after another. And I feel like I'll miss my chance to really get into 3D and gamedev if I keep dilly-dallying. 3D and gamedev are both fascinating and massively complex disciplines that if I keep half-assing things I'm never gonna go anywhere.

I've always had the Patreon excuse so I don't give it my all on my other interests, because of course Patreon is my priority. The truth of the matter is, it's just my convenient excuse. Sure it's money, but I was able to earn good money before I had my Patreon. So really, it's just a matter of complacency and to be blunt, laziness.

So what's the point of all this? The point I'm trying to get to is this: I'm making my Patreon an Art and Games Patreon rather than an NSFW Patreon. This means the NSFW polls will be removed and I cannot promise that I'll draw lewds every month. I want to focus more on my ambitions and art goals going forward.  I guess it's gonna be more: "I like this guy's art and I want to see where he takes his art." versus "I like this guy's lewds and I want to see more lewds."  I'm well aware that a lot of you support me for the lewds and I'm sure it will disappoint some, but I truly want to explore other ways to express my art.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank You! I'm really grateful for everyone's support. You've kept me going for nearly 2 years and some of you have been here from the start (special shoutout to Madnug, hanehane, Sagizawa, Klashvorn, El Repuesto, Hamadyne, azureCorsair, Iz, Carnath, Oni, LewdCartoonsAccount, Sadie Iris Heart, Expired Nep Bull, Skyler Parker, ObsidianWasp, UzumeKurome, NepDraws, Zanka, Kyle Erdahl, DSFARGEG, Mahruru, wandalynn, Joe T, dudermcbrohan, Sonix, Prash K, GodzillaMaster, devazaki, Joseph Mulder, Thien Nguyen, Jeremy, Mi, Garysan, Dr. Dendrite, pengin senshi, Aorun, Darkhawk02, SamuraiBlazer, RenegadeKamui, ConnerJeff, ArchePatreon, Nazerim, DRo, TheGentleChainsaw, Tsu)

With that said, this month's term will be paused while I re-organize and revamp my Patreon page. I will resume on April so the next billing would be on May 1st. So until then feel free to stick around to see what I'm up to and if you like what you see, perhaps consider continuing support :D I'll also post stuff on Twitter but I'll keep the meaty details here.

And with that, it's time to wrap up. I think it's only fitting to end this post with my one and only North Star. Thank you for reading ^_^