posts will be up tomorrow: Friday (Patreon)

NEW UPDATE: 

I'll be back in a week or so!! 

PATREON UPDATE:

I have paused payments since the beginning of January, I have not collected anything  until now so please do not worry I am not charging until I feel comfortable to continue which I will eventually so my patreon will be free of course until then!!

BUT I noticed that patreon charged NEW MEMBERS that have just joined each month I don't know why they would do that so now I have to find them and refund. If anything MESSAGE ME for a refund because it'll make it easier to find you. I'll find you eventually though but still message me please.

So if you'd like to not be charged do not unpledge and then pledge again cause patreon will collect sadly, but if you KEEP pledging then it will not charge you.

LET ME KNOW if you're still being charged even if you keep pledging cause that just means that they're being sketchy since I'm not getting anything.

ME UPDATE:

tl;dr I developed dyshidrosis on my hands and feet and used steroid creams. Then I had topical steroid withdrawal symptoms but I'm feeling better now.

Hello everyone

I don't know where to start since a lot has happened over the past 2 months but I finally have better news to share. I know I didn't handle this very well because I just disappeared, I should have said something so that was probably my biggest mistake. I didn't want anyone to worry but at the same time I should've at least made an update. Normally I would make update videos but at the time I felt really hopeless since I didn't have anything good to share so that was why I kept quiet. (Also I don't like making text post updates idk why that's just me)

I started noticing these small bubbles on my index finger of my right hand in December but I didn't care at the time since it didn't bother me until it started to crack and fluid or juice would ooze out. That was when it started to spread to my other fingers and even my palm. The cycle went on cracking, oozing and spreading more. I was so confused why this was happening and what even triggered it at the start?? Maybe I was washing my hands too often but I'm still not sure. Weeks went by and during that time my left hand started getting bumpy and the breaking point was when I saw some bumps on the base of my right foot. I was already having a hard time trying to avoid doing anything with my hands especially the right one since it was painful with the cracks so I knew that if it would take over my feet that would just be the end.

LOL this is sounding really dramatic sorry I would prefer making a video since it would probably sound more lighthearted through my voice. I feel like my text posts are too serious. 

Anyway its the middle of lockdown so I haven't been able to see a doctor and I feel like my situation is definitely not top priority since there are people with worse situations. I completely understand that so I'm not complaining or anything. However this was the most down I have ever felt in a long time since I had no idea what to do. I had to google everything and self diagnose (haha) but this was the closest thing if not exact problem I had. I was so discouraged. I tried steroid creams I found at home cause it worked at first by drying out the bumps but then a couple nights later the skin around and on my mouth was cracking, resembling topical steroid withdrawals so I had to stop that too before it was too late and wait for my mouth to heal.

Finally what helped me was someone's experience and their cure on reddit (funny I know but it mostly worked for me) I went through an elimination diet etc turns out every time I eat carbs more bumps start to appear. I was ok eating a high carb diet all my life but all of a sudden it became a trigger??? I will admit though that I was eating pretty unhealthy since the beginning of lockdown which was around March/April 2020 until December 2020 ... a lot of ramen and junk everyday so maybe my health was going down the drain lol.....

This is getting too long.

Today my hands are cracked but they are dry! I only have some bumps left on my right hand but definitely not as bad as before. The only thing I haven't been able to figure out are the bumps that spread all over my arms and legs as well (this is new), I don't think they are the same since dyshidrosis shouldn't appear on the body but who knows I'm just itchy all the time. 

Thank you for taking time to read this, I received a lot of worried messages and I'm grateful to have everyone look out for me. I hope everyone is ok. I'm still not feeling the greatest if I'm being honest. 

This is so embarrassing and personal to talk about that's why I kept on delaying it and took forever to speak about since it was just gross yucky bumpy skin ugh but that is all so sorry for the wait!! I'll be back.