Christopher Nollan’s Openheimer, a review by Jeffrey Cranor, writer (Patreon)

So much has already been said about The Movie of the Summer, it’s hard to know exactly where on the table I should push in my chips. There’s already so many chips there. Who are these people who have so many chips? And why is the table so small?

But allow me to try.

Let me say first, that I did not actually see Christopher Nolin’s biopic of the first man to invent the nuclear bomb, Richard Oppenhimer, but I get the idea well enough. It’s not a hard concept to grasp. But before I get to my review of this much-awaited film, I need to address the naked elephant in the room: the naked people in the room. Whoa howdy is there some nudity in this one! Sheesh. I’m not a prude, which is why I’m not going to do anything more than write interjections like Oh Man and Wow.

But if you can get past the glistening bare skin of the impressive scientist (played by Killian Monroe) and his gal pal, Sheila O’Neil (played by Florence Hugh), then I think you’re in for a real treat, a treat above and beyond naughty parts of famous, attractive actors. You see, this movie is about themes. It’s not just about the science used to create a huge bomb. Nope. It’s about the themes that surround that topic. And they’re very good themes.

Another thing I like about Oppenheiser is how it’s very historic. There’s a bunch of parts in the movie where you’ll be all Dang, yeah, I remember that from class. And that’s a good feeling to have. Of course, some of these historical moments won’t be totally accurate, so I’d avoid reading any kind of pedantry online. Either that, or you should read that stuff and then get uncontrollably irate about it. It’s up to you. Both are really fun things to do.

Charleston Nolan is such an important filmmaker, and his movies like Batman: In the Beginning, Momentum, and Now You See Me, were instant classics, before they even got released to theaters. He just mentioned these movies were coming out soon, and everyone said Oh Hell These Are Going to Be Great. And everyone was right. They were great.

Even great films, though, have their flaws. Nobody’s Perfect, as the cartoon cat Garfield used to say at the end of every single comic strip. And this Oppeneiner movie certainly comes up short in a variety of ways. First off, it’s over 3 hours long, and that prevented me from wanting to see it at all. I’d say that’s an enormous imperfection, wouldn’t you? Second off, it had the chance to be about World War 2, and yet it decided it wanted to be about just one guy. It’s just 3 hours of Robin Openheumer talking and talking and talking. Yak yak yak, Robin. We get it already. Why aren’t you shooting Nazis? He never shoots a single Nazi in this whole film! Can you believe the gumption?

Finally, I thought this movie was going to have music in it. And technically it does, but it’s like just in the background and stuff. At least that’s how it seemed from the trailer, which I also did not see. But still, when I heard that it was a movie that was coming out, I naturally assumed there would be songs in it. I did not expect dance, because it’s such a serious topic. But I definitely expected songs! Every movie I’ve ever seen has songs in it! Mamma Mia!, Rent, No Country for Old Men, The Birds, Drive, and Drive My Car. Those are the movies I've seen, and they all have songs in them. Since when have we stopped making musicals?

But given the gravity of Operkiner’s invention (the “Atomic” Bomb), maybe it’s best that they ditched the songs and had the actors dance instead. (Except for Killian Monroe. He clearly had a body double, because he famous cannot do the "Pop And Lock.)

All in all I think this is a good movie, in that people have liked it. And I think you might like it, too, especially if you go see it and find that it’s to your taste. But I don’t know your taste. Maybe you like stuff like Jurrasoic Land or Halloween: It's Over!. If that’s the case, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you should have gone to see Bambi instead.