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Hey everyone! :) Here's Alice 31, I hope you enjoy! I was really happy with this chapter, it was a lot of fun to write. I also took a small step towards trying to get the girls' weights more in line with the descriptions, so I hope that helps people imagine them a little easier!

Comments

Phat94

Excellent chapter! Beautiful! I very much enjoyed the Alice and Tyler scene. It's heartwarming to see them be cute and lovey-dovey together. As Alice becomes more and more helpless under her growing bulk, it's lovely to see she has someone who will always be there for her. I had my suspicions you were inspired by some of the nice Writing.com additions, which is great! It makes me want to try adding some chapters myself. I very much appreciated that every girl got some time in the spotlight this chapter. Though I think I have to say my highlight would be Jen having to be tempted with chocolate to exercise. Also, very impressed with how you managed to change Laurie's weight! There was a lot of good explanation behind it, so it didn't feel like something that was sudden or forced. And of course, I have to say that I absolutely cannot wait to see what Laurie wants to do with Craig. I'm glad to see he doesn't simply want to leave Jen over her weight, preferring to try and make her trim down... but my mind won't stop thinking of all the things that could happen next! All the awful things that could happen to poor Jen! The idea of her falling down onto her butt and being unable to get up, that you mentioned under one of the spratfa illustrations somehow comes to mind... However, I did find one or two mistakes. For instance, in the gym scene: "Part of the reason that he was so eager to help Jen start losing pounds was that he hoped it could help get her mind off of constantly eating. Now that “Ugh!” Jen straightened up" Now that what? The suspense is killing me! ; A ; Anyway, I've rambled lots and lots. To summarise, fantastic chapter! I loved it! Thank you very much for writing it!

mollycoddles

Oops! Thanks for the catch! And thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)

Chumlee99

I wouldn't be surprise if Craig had a dream where he's with Jen and as they make out she gets fatter and fatter and slowly transforms into Laurie

Anonymous

might we see an amusement park ride scene in the mix soon?

mollycoddles

Ohhh that's a good idea! I'll see if I can find that in in one of these future chapters

Anonymous

Or perhaps a county fair with rides? I really excited for this upcoming chapter though.