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Welcome to my office. If this suitcase you're holding contains the amount of money I think it does, it means you know what I do for a living. Your mother in law annoys you? Your wife is having an affair with your neighbor? Or perhaps you'd like to have your crush's boyfriend out of the way? Unless there's a celebrity you hate and you'd like me to take care of. I can do all of this. 

Oh, and I see you hesitating. Don't worry about getting your hands dirty. I said I could help you get rid of someone. I never said anything about killing them. Let's say I have some...abilities. Why shoot someone when you can just change him/her into something completely different, erasing him/her from existence?

Anyway, just tell me who you'd like to put a contract on, and I'll get rid of this person for you.

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TG_Sorcerer

My ex has always been jealous of my new girlfriend, and we are getting married today, so if she shows up to try and interfere or do some drama, I want her taken care of

Anonymous

I want this nerd I used to bully and his husband handled. They think they're better than me just because their smart and have a happy life. Maybe if you can steal his husband for me I can throw in a bonus?

Zbloutch

I love weddings. You know what's the funniest part to me? When the guests throw rice when the newlywed leave the church. How about we get some? Your ex was about to leave her house for her wedding when she suddenly felt strange. All cold from the inside. Her left hand suddenly felt numb. She looked at it in confusion as it quickly turns into a hand-shaped bunch of rice before collapsing and falling on the floor. She screams, looking at what's left of her arm, as it starts spreading. Soon, her clothes have turned into rice too, followed by her other arm, her breasts, her legs. Her trunk is now lying on the floor and she screams, causing more rice to flow out of her mouth as the inside of her head is being converted too. Then, even her skull turns into rice and collapses, until there's nothing left of her. I carefully collected every bit of her and put it in this bag : https://i.imgur.com/izTe8R4.jpg So for your wedding, you'll litterally have people throw bits of your ex-girlfriend at you and your new wife. Amusing, isn't it? Oh, just be sure nobody tries to eat any of it. If someone does, he/she will turn into an exact doppelganger of your ex, more obsessed by you than ever.

Zbloutch

So you like belittling this nerd. Maybe I can do something about that. I turned him into a woman. But not just any woman. She's now a midget. Barely tall enough to reach your knees, and yet, curvy like an adult woman. Don't worry, the midget won't complain too much: she was born a mute. On the inside, your enemy will still be there, horrified at his transformation. But on the outside, he'll be forced to act like the submissive plaything I turned him into. As for his husband, he's now your husband. Actually, he's the one who brought his pet with him. You love making out while holding this midget between you, using her mouth and pussy as a fleshlight for your pleasure. And don't worry about hurting her. No matter how hard you beat her, she'll heal within ten minutes. She's basically immortal now, forced to live a long life as a human plaything. This is her now : https://i.imgur.com/mtsgkFq.jpg