The psychologist from hell - Interactive post (Patreon)

Welcome, welcome! Please, take a seat. My eyes are up here, by the way. Just kidding, you can stare as much as you want. After all, my job is to make you feel better, isn't it? Just relax, and tell me what's wrong with your life right now. 

Too much stress at work? Going through a nasty divorce? Or just feeling sad? It's a good thing you found this ad about a psychologist offering free consultations. Don't worry, these rumors about my clients disappearing mysteriously are pure fabrication. What's that? My shadow looks like it has horns and a forked tail? Don't be silly, it's just a trick of the light. 

Just comment below to tell me what's wrong with you, and I promise I will solve your problem on the spot. You'll find my methods...deadly effective.