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D&D Court: Bonus Cases - The Smeg (Patreon)

Published:
2023-12-08 23:53:55
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Dungeon Court is STILL in session! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner, Axford and the Lowly Bailiff Jake as they continue to pass judgement on your trials at the table!

Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam Weiller

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Comments

Bryan Barton

Just read the title and yelled "NO!" out loud.

Dmkampz

Smeg you very much!

Anonymous

Just in time for my commute thank you murph

Adam Kepper

Emily Schruteford

Bryan Barton
>>124097098

Just now learning they're referring to a mini fridge and not dick cheese

Joseph P

7th!

Andrew Yeager

The fridge name is awful and the continuations of the talk of the fridge with its name was so off putting

Anonymous

Here’s that last fridge, read the reviews for a treat https://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/smeg-jousting-paladins-dolce-and-gabbana-refrigerator/?catalogId=79&sku=9420797&cm_ven=PLA&cm_cat=Google&cm_pla=Electrics%20%3E%20Refrigerators,%20Wine%20%26%20Beer%20Fridges&region_id=658780&cm_ite=9420797_14571727833&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAmsurBhBvEiwA6e-WPPym7aukGemf4juH-sSaQQnRJEL9s2VKzkjfyU_9fernAHjoLDXdLxoC4tUQAvD_BwE

Anonymous

Smeg is love, Smeg is life. ✌️ 🤘

Adam Kepper

Just get your girlfriend a D100 instead of using the 2d10s

Nathaniel Levy

I think the losing bottom 10 levels of divine intervention is as to close to irl dice excommunication as you can get

Anonymous

Parallel Schrutiverse is insane

Anonymous

Pretty sure it’s confirmed across the board that a 0 and 00 on d100’s is 100. No further inquiry required, case closed.

Alistair Mackay
>>124100927

The word “smeg” just hits differently if you grew up in the UK watching Red Dwarf.

Rafael C

THANK YOU MURPH. I felt like Brennan in that neverafter scene u know the one "No, Stop. In reference to What???" [about the Smeg]

Dorian Doran

i need a photo of the court’s facial reactions to caldwell’s rendition of the office theme i bet it was choice

And...What now

I spilled my skin serum by accident because of how sidelined I was by "Smeg"

Anonymous

og grinch not being credited as boris karloff is a tragedy when the other two were listed by the actor

Anonymous

lol do you guys not know how rolling the d100 works?

Anonymous

i’m so so sorry but when i hear “the smeg” in the context of a fridge all i can think of is the cum fridge from karina’s college

Anonymous

Wait, how does she roll at 1-9 then?

Anonymous
>>124115822

As a fellow apostate, what they were trying to say is that she always treats the ones d10 as a 1-10, and the tens dice as 00-90. 1 is rolled with a 00 + 1. It keeps consistency with what both dice mean regardless of circumstance, as opposed to edge cases like 100 being 00 + 0.

Rafael C
>>124105021

lmao the throwaway "You're not a real gamer, dude" at the end with just enough facts based sass. Grinch Murph slaps

John C.

Phoebe actually wrote Chinese Satellite about a Smeg that landed in her backyard

Rafael C

You just know the Dice Christ Inquisitor and their girlfriend they're condemning to eternal damnation have a really good relationship

Anonymous

Here's the fiat fridge mentioned, if anyone else is as curious as I was - https://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/smeg-500-fiat-beverage-refrigerator/?pkey=cwine-beer-fridge

Pamphleteer
>>124115822

It is the better way to roll d100s because it doesn't require the d10 to sometimes be 1-10 and sometimes be 0-9

Pamphleteer
>>124115822

It's so funny that Em talks about divine intervention being affected by interpreting the d100 dice differently when it's the same statistics regardless. Doesn't change the math at all

Anonymous

As a brit, who grew up watching red dwarf, I just cannot hear smeg as anything else.

Eric Pierce

This one is for our Lawful Good boy Murph https://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/smeg-jousting-paladins-dolce-and-gabbana-refrigerator/?catalogId=79&sku=9420797&cm_ven=PLA&cm_cat=Google&cm_pla=Electrics%20%3E%20Refrigerators,%20Wine%20%26%20Beer%20Fridges&region_id=697020&cm_ite=9420797_14571727833&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAvdCrBhBREiwAX6-6UvJMjyqrFe3ZaCcxrOM3cr1QGETb2P8gsgTM_SIASFFMdYzJiGhHThoCBdsQAvD_BwE

Anonymous

I have a Smeg toaster and kettle. I feel seen

Anonymous

All I hear is smegma everytime lol

Jody

I think Emily was thinking of Steve Urkel. High pants and small glasses!

Anonymous
>>124115822

This is 100% correct. From my homebrew rule sheet, where I clarify this: "Percentile Dice: Percentile rolls can range from 1-100%; there is no 0% chance of something happening on a percentage roll. Additionally, the double-digit “10’s” place dice always represents the 10’s place and a “0” on the d10 always represents +10, such that percentage dice are read as follows: A roll of “00” and “1” = 1% A roll of “00” and “0” = 10% A roll of “10” and “1” = 11% A roll of “10” and “0” = 20% A roll of “90” and “0” = 100%" It makes no sense for there to be a "0%" chance of something happening. If there's a 0% chance, then that means you didn't actually take any action or do anything at all!

Sam

Jake ruined my blue year

Anonymous

MUNA’s podcast is a headgum podcast. You can for sure get this phoebe bridgers/boygenius dnd ambiance album going

Anonymous

The Smeg of many things is great but consider: The Deck of Many Smegs

Tori Lynn

Just added the jousting paladin fridge to my online Christmas wishlist. Can't wait for my husband to check it and react.

Anonymous

I've never played dnd but you guys are my fav podcast. I'm in like the top 10% on Spotify

Anonymous

Lol uh, is that not how percentile dice work? With the confession? Thats how ive been doing it this whole time lol

Robert

I think Emily’s description of “little glasses; high pants” for Dwight is an amalgamation between Dwight and Urkel.

Canid

The DM with the reroll for acrobatics must really love Prince of Persia: Sands of Time.

Anonymous

There was a hot Grinch on tiktok but I think he got dmca'd lol 🥲

Zero Angel

Smeg is just one unfortunately named brand and they're using it like Kleenex or Xerox for these fridges but the name is grosser than when they were drinking that crap in giant land. This may be the only episode of Dungeon Court I won't re-listen to 😅

Zero Angel

Oh! I do my d100 the way the girlfriend does and it's more mathematically consistent and gets everything from 1 to 100 without worry, but I did bring it up with my last group and some got super upset about it. I find the inconsistency of the 00 sometimes being 0 and sometimes being 100 much stranger but if that's how they want to roll as long as they don't change when it's convenient then I don't see a problem.

Anonymous

Smeg-free 2023 but I’m dreaming of a Smeg-more 2024

Anonymous

The girlfriend is actually the one rolling the d100 correctly

gerard

I looked up the price of a smeg, and they're 3k?????

Anonymous
>>124190533

Exactly! Emily said with this method you can’t roll a 0 and so you cheat yourself out of divine intervention but it’s not possible to roll a 0. You can’t roll a 0 on any other die so why is a d100 any different?

Anonymous

This is an inquisition.

PandamoniuMonarch

To be perfectly fair I wouldn't have suspected anything about the balloons if Murph hadn't said anything

Anonymous
>>124166371

No, you're both wrong. On percentile dice all the numbers are exactly what is written on them. The zeros are zeros, the tens are tens, you just add them together. The only exception is when you roll both zeros, then it's 100.

Anonymous
>>124166371

Lol it took me a good like 10 minutes but i eventually figured it out. What was confusing me is the idea that if u wrote all the numbers in a list 000, 001, 002. The scale would start at 100 then jump to 1-99. But i guess it doesnt really matter ultimately that the scale would be wrong and all numbers are still represented

Anonymous

The great schism of the d100

Anonymous
>>124103669

Nah mate, sorry a 10 and 0 = 10. Gotta throw the literal book at you on this one: PHB pg. 6 - "Percentile dice, or d100, work a little differently. You generate a number between 1 and 100 by rolling two different ten-sided dice numbered from 0 to 9. One die (designated before you roll) gives the tens digit, and the other gives the ones digit. If you roll a 7 and a 1, for example, the number rolled is 71. Two 0s represent 100. Some ten-sided dice are numbered in tens (00, 10, 20, and so on), making it easier to distinguish the tens digit from the ones digit. In this case, a roll of 70 and 1 is 71, and 00 and 0 is 100."

Anonymous

phoebe bridgers mentioned on naddpod this episode was made for me

Zero Angel
>>124190533

Correct 00 + 1 is the lowest result. 90 + 10 is the highest. One method treats them like addition and the other treats them like juxtaposition of digits. Addition makes way more sense for me and 90 always feels high while 00 always feels low.

Anonymous
>>124190533

you have an even chance of rolling any place from 1-100, how could it get more consistent?

Anonymous
>>124115822

she was confused into to thinking it was possible to have a result of zero because the alternate method is much harder to understand than "it's a tens place in all instances except one" for most people

Anonymous

murph hasnt listened to anything like critical ditto. The players getting to roleplaying villans can be very fun

Zero Angel
>>124190533

It's the lack of continuity between outputs of the die and their mapping. It's relatively minor, but basically it's that the juxtaposition method goes 00&1, 00&2, ..., 00&9, 10&0, 10&1, ... 90&8, 90&9, 00&0. Having the tens place die's 00 go from being in the ones outputs to being the hundred output is a point of discontinuity if you are looking at the numbers as numbers and not as digits. Also, it has the added complication that your usual d10's 0 roll which means 10 in every other situation now means 0.

Anonymous

Did anybody else notice a weird 5 second of just silence during the judge intros

Matt Kilsby

I’m glad so many others agree with the girlfriend. The RAR method is inconsistent and weird. 00+1 = 1 00+0 = oh obviously that’s 100(??) The 0 on the d10 is a 10 in regular play (try telling a fighter he just rolled a “0” on his damage die), so why change it for the percentile dice? Not to mention d10s sometimes literally have a “10” instead of a 0. Try explaining to someone who just rolled “90+10” that they just got 90. It’s insane. INSANE.

Tyler Spencer

Timothy Chalmette is gonna be the Onceler in the live action lorax. You can't tell me I'm wrong.

Anonymous

how did they not say pheobe fridges? (they may have and i missed idk, but it was right there)

Anonymous

This is a thick, Smeggy grinch-hole of a 'sode.

Gearbox

Girlfriend is shifting the way we count 00 on the 10's place to the 0 on the one's place. I *get* it, but it's ugly as hell and I don't like it.

Anonymous

Would legitimately love a mixed bag or smth with lvl 2 characters and a ton of legendary items

Anonymous

I am hammering my 95 theses to the dice church door, that is how rolling a percentile dice works

Matt Kilsby
>>124268790

They did say it! When they’re talking about the d100 stuff at the end

Anonymous

Does no one watch Red Dwarf and know that Smeg is an insult? Smeg head! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ-S6SiLhrs

Anonymous

hey caldwell can you do me a HUGE favor and not refer to trinyvale in the past tense? i don’t have the mental health or emotional maturity to accept it’s completely done.

Anonymous

the girlfriend is absolutely rolling d100s correctly.

Cameron A
>>124190533

But the other method still has discontinuity because one of your zeros is a low value (the tens digit 0) and one is high (the ones digit). If your dice has a ten on it instead of 0, then yes rolling 9&10 => 90 is confusing, but with your method rolling 10&9 => 9 is also confusing. Of course this is all personal preference, but I like that rolling two of the same number leads to the crit (0&0, instead of 9&10) and I like that it goes from the worst to best roll, but again, to each their own.

Zero Angel
>>124190533

Agree with the personal preference. It makes the most sense to me because the standard d10's 0 always means 10 when it's used anywhere else and the percentile die is only used in this scenario. The way I do it I also avoid the false victory flag of seeing the 00 and thinking it could be 100 when 9 times out of 10 it's a number between 1 and 9. Meanwhile 90 is always a good number to see and doesnt preclude getting 100.

Anonymous
>>124277316

All I could think of when I saw the ep title. Smeg is short for smegma!

Anonymous

phoebe bridgers and dnd? need 1000 more hours of this lmao

Anonymous

You guys gotta read the reviews of the Dolce Gabanna SMEG

Anonymous

I had some balloons pop up in zoom in a therapy session 😂😂 turns out it’s an apple setting

Anonymous

WHY IS THE GRINCH HOT, O JUST DROPPED ACID

Anonymous

I SUPPORT THE CRUSADER SMEG

Summer Tribe

this is unhinged. these are all so clearcut. how are people so crazy

Anonymous

If you listen to LegendLark (formerly Dames & Dragons) there’s an episode where two players play NPC Demons summoned by a PC!! It’s so fun exactly what Emily was saying

David Silva

It sounds like the girlfriend is rolling the dice 100 correctly, no? It’s from 1 to 100 and dice aren’t meant to roll 0 which is what can happen if you do it the other way. Am I crazy?

Anonymous
>>124807402

I'm in the same boat! The 00 is zero in the tens place and the 0 is ten so you get an even 1-100 span unless the d100 is actually a D99

Myka Donati

I feel I would have narrated the Rouge based on their class as being a Phantom they would have connections to the dead, thus the narration would be like: you, see in bullet time the expanse of a light, brighter than you've ever seen. You watch as all color in your skin fades to an eerie grey. Your breath goes silent, infact you don't even feel your breath, as your eyes gaze up at a figure in front of you looms with sunken eyes their faces changes to all those close to you all at once, those of which have died. You hear in all of their voices ringing with the hollowness of a church "what have you done? " you Blink as time has passed, your spirit returns to your husk as you have evaded the explosion, yet you feel different, hollow like a piece was ripped from your soul. Your eyes take minutes to focus again, but the rotting stench of decay and destruction overwhelms your senses, as sight returns, you see nothing but leveled ground. You have never felt this alone in all your life.

Anonymous

Love the episode as always. What the hell is a smeg??

Anonymous

Defenestrate your Smeg dice!

k.allen

Just here to say the girlfriend is right. I am throwing my comment in the pot in support. The die with two numbers dictates the tens place and the die with one number dictates the ones place, though when its a ten you just add it to the already existing tens place number. You're not supposed to be able to roll a zero, that's why all the tables start at 1.

Brooke

Suddenly desperate for the boygenius dnd album

Terra Riley

Hi, delayed weirdo here. I literally had to make a spreadsheet to make sure the math worked out on the D100 confessional. Only then did I remembered that you don’t roll a 0 on a D100. From a statistical point of view she’s in the clear and using the same probability as the rest of us. 🎲 👍

Anonymous

Phoebe actually does have smeg lyrics: “Someday, I’m gonna look up from my smeg and see my life”

Anonymous
>>127876222

Yes! Her way is how I roll it, somehow I still can't understand the "right" way and how it can avoid a true 0 result which isn't on the chart...