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Tortle Tank Pitches (Patreon)

Published:
2022-08-22 15:06:06
Imported:
2022-09

Content

Hello NADDPOLES! The Tortles are diving back into the tank. We're looking for players and DMs to pitch Homebrew rules and creations for us to invest our eggs in.

Please comment with your ideas here on this post. Try to be as succinct as possible so we can get to as many as we can!

Love,

Jake

Comments

Anonymous

Turts Get ready to be introduced… To the juice I am giving you the once in a life time opportunity to get in on the ground floor of the biggest must have potion since the common healing potion - hero juice. Meet sal, a budding alchemist who has just perfected a new recipe, and in doing so has made a huge batch of excess hero juice. Your players have the lucky chance to grab a bottle for just a single gold each. And what does this potion do you ask? Well firstly you’ll players will get a hero juice point (HJP). They the gain temporary hp equal to 5 + their HJP total. You’ll never feel more ready to take on a day of adventuring. But wait it gets better! The next hero juice you quaff means another hero juice point. You’re getting 7 temp hp now. The more you drink the more effective it gets. There’s no catch! Except here’s the catch. After your players next long rest they can roll a wisdom save to get rid of one hero juice point. (Dc 13 + total HJP) if after that they still have any HJPs that’s how much their max hp drops by. The good news is you can just get that hp right back with more hero juice! Well… at least until you reach 12 temp HP. I’m afraid to get more than that you’ll need to go back to Sal for Hero juice extra. This time gain 2 HJPs a potion and get up to 25 temp HP! It’s kind of expensive though… For a 40% stake in Hero Juice and a free case of 12 of your own juices I’m asking for the best egg in your nest. Don’t be recluse, let loose on the juice and watch the profits go whoosh

Anonymous

Let's face it, the Speed stat is old hat these days. That's why I'd like to offer you the opportunity of an elven lifetime: the Speed Skill. Do your chase scenes feel like two slide rules racing across your coffee table? Intersperse Speed Checks with Acrobatics to dodge obstacles, Athletics to push through barriers, and Perception to avoid hazards. Running theater of the mind for your wildly successful podcast? Now it's easier than ever to make movement dynamic. Simply declare that the enemy is DC X away and call for a check. It works like this: calculate your Speed stat as normal, divide by 5, subtract 2, add proficiency (unless using a movement type you aren't proficient with) and you have your Skill bonus. Hasted? That's advantage my friend. +10 to movement? That's a +2 to your skill. Easy-peasy, safe and sleezy. And all this for an initial investment of some number of the eggs. Thank you.

Anonymous

Turts in a half tank, lend me your middle ear bones. (Since we all know turtles don’t have ears) I’m offering you a game changing homebrew setting in which every person creates a character sheet that is a normal human with any class they like. The world is then cast into disarray as everyone wakes up as a human animal hybrid. Roll a D100, and from a list of 100 animals your stats will change just like if you were a race. For example, wake up as a cow and get +2 Con, +1 Str, -1 Dex, and you gain a “milk pool” (like lay on hands) for the amount of milk you can heal allies with (Inspired by campaign 1). Wake up as a turtle, you get +1 Con, -2 Dex, your movement speed is halved, and you now have a shell permanently attached to you giving you a +2 to your AC and disadvantage when being attacked from behind. In this world, lines are drawn not by race, but by species. Learn to adapt as you struggle with who you were and who you have become. Can your party overcome all their challenges until they can figure out a way to change everyone back? I offer this campaign setting for any amount of your moist, slippery eggs that you wish. The more moist the better.

Anonymous

ello Esteemed Turtles of the tank, boy howdy do I have the pitch for you, have you ever been unsatisfied with death or feel that it is too easy to revive your dead friends then do I have the home brew for you let me introduce you to the death redux. First may I introduce you to the injury table, On being reduced to 0 hp a PC makes a CON saving throw DC 10 or half the damage taken on a fail roll a d20 on the Injury table( this contains various injuries from sprained ankle to gouged eye) Second we add exhaustion and tweaks to death saves When a PC saves on 3 death saving throws they awake at 1 hit point and a level of exhaustion this is ignored if revived by magical means. When a PC rolls a nat 20 on a death save that PC is instantly revived at the beginning of their turn at 1 hit point and they may spend hit dice equal to their level to gain additional hit points. And lastly we remove revivify and resurrection and add a new set of spells lesser and greater resurrection Lesser resurrection - (5th) - 10min You touch a creature that has died within the last hour. That creature returns to life with 1 hit point. This spell can't return to life a creature that has died of old age, nor can it restore any missing body parts. Greater resurrection - (7th) - Instant You touch a creature that has died within the 24 hours. That creature returns to life with max hit points. This spell can't return to life a creature that has died of old age, but it will restore any missing body parts.

Anonymous

Fine Tortles, I offer this home brew rule our DM uses that is simple, easy, and makes crits more fun! When a player rolls a nat 20 on an attack roll instead of just rolling twice for double damage, the player instead automatically gets max damage on the first roll, and then gets to roll again to add more damage. This simple rule solves the doldrums of rolling two ones on your D8’s (or whatever your damage die is) which really kills the joy of a critical hit! You know when you get that nat 20 that you will get max damage on at least one roll. Our table loves this rule - even though it also applies to the monsters! It increases the stakes and makes crits more impactful on attack rolls. Here’s hoping for some precious eggs to get this idea onto more table tops!

Anonymous

Hello my exceptionally well looking for their age tortles. I bring to you me and my wife’s idea of “Crit Advantage.” With this whenever a player or monster crits they roll 3 times the dice instead of 2 but only take the best 2 rolls. So for example if I crit with a long sword I roll 3d8 and take the best two. Of course this may be confusing and unnecessary but when someone crits with guiding bolt and has to roll 18d6 at one time the power they feel and their party feels giving them every d6 they own is intoxicating. It also gives a better chance for crits to actually be something instead of rolling just over normal damage. All I ask for in exchange of 69% of my company is for Hot boy summer to last forever and to take on all the holidays that stand in their way.

Anonymous

My Dear Tortles Throughout life we often pick up skills and passions that have little to do with our careers, so with that in mind may I introduce the Hobby Mechanic. At tenth and twentieth level, characters are awarded 1 Hobby Level to put into a class of their choice and assign whenever they like. However there are several caveats. To prevent this mechanic from getting out of hand the player may only put a Hobby Level in a class that they do not have a normal level in. Additionally the player must rationalize a narrative reason as to why they took this level (Example: the party cleric takes a level in rouge because the party rogue showed them the basics of thievery. Roleplay is encouraged) and the DM must sign off. Lastly once a Hobby Level is assigned to a class then ONLY Hobby Levels may be further put into that class. The purpose of this mechanic is to add realism and bring back a little 3.5e crunch allowing players a little more flexibility. Recommended for experienced players. It is open to negotiation how often, and how many, levels are awarded to players. I'm willing to sell for 69,420 eggs for 49% stake

Anonymous

Most Excellent Tortles, I come to you with a homebrew item of my own design. I present to you the Amulet of Karma. This Amulet has upon it the face of an angel and gives an attuned character 1 luck point. Once used, the item turns into a cursed item and the face twists into a Devils face and instead grants the DM 1 bad-luck point which can be used to force the character reroll a save, check or attack or reroll an attack made against them. Once the DM uses this bad-luck point it reverts back to the Angel face and the player regains their luck point. I think this has some fun potential and so I am looking for a vent-load of eggs to help make this a reality, thank you.

Anonymous

Hello Jason and tortles Our home brew rule is a sprint move it is 4x movement speed, it takes your whole turn and you have to move in a straight line. You can not take reactions, bonus action or regular action.

Anonymous

Hi, Tortles! I proudly present to you my PC’s favorite magic item: the Jorts of Protection! These fabulous fashion statements grant a +2 to AC if you are not wearing armor and give advantage on Persuasion checks when you are also wearing Crocs. This is the perfect item for your party’s drunken master monk, as the enchanted pockets provide an endless supply of brewskies for you and your boys to enjoy in and out of battle! I only ask for a chuck check from Emily as payment for a 51% stake in my groundbreaking new company.

Anonymous

Hey Tortles! Have you ever felt like you wasted a really good roll (maybe even a nat 20!) on initiative? Well I'm here to present to you, the homebrew rule to make initiative a vital skill check. Presenting, "first step initiative." The rules are simple, after you roll initiative, take your initiative score and subtract 20 from it. If your score is still a positive number you take another turn at that spot in initiative also. But only for the first round of combat. For example, say your Harengon ranger gets a 24 on their initiative roll, they would act both at the 24 spot AND at the 4 spot giving them 2 turns in the first round of combat and making that initiative roll truly valuable. I know you all will feel the need for speed with first step initiative. Thanks for your consideration.

William Bowen

Salutations, tortles. Today I'm introducing the wounded condition. Do you feel like there's not enough incentive to heal your companions before it becomes a matter of life and death? Are you a DM whose players keep taking needless risks, overly confident in the power of a simple healing word? I have a simple fix. When a player goes down to 0 HP and starts making death saves, the next time they stand up to start fighting, they are wounded. Their max HP are reduced by half to reflect the limitations of pulling oneself up from the jaws of near death. The next time they go down and come up, they start accruing exhaustion levels. This condition goes away after a long rest but only if you have no levels of exhaustion.