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Court Cases Please! (Patreon)

Published:
2022-02-24 13:58:02
Imported:
2022-05

Content

Howdy! Bailiff Jake here. Crit is soon convening with a special appearance by Justice Oyama.  Please submit your (BRIEF, I implore you!) tales here on this thread and we will try your case.

May Justice Be Soon Served,

Jake

Comments

Anonymous

May it please the court and that most special of boys Jake In our home game (for which I am the DM), my wife's swarmkeeper ranger was infiltrating a magical vault through a secret tunnel system populated by random encounters. She aced the first two encounters, somehow convincing a feral fox not to attack her through the power of diplomacy and high-rolling a stealth check to avoid a security system. In the third encounter, I asked her to roll a perception check, which she did and got a 10. That was too low to notice the creature that was hidden in the tunnel, so I told her she didn't notice anything in the tunnel. Of course, she was suspicious that I made her roll perception, so she used detect traps. I told her that the spell didn't illuminate any traps because, truthfully, there were none. So when she stepped into the tunnel and was immediately attacked by the creature hiding there, she was upset and said that a lurking creature fits the description of a trap in the spell. Looking at the wording, the find traps spell does specify that a trap constitutes "anything that would inflict a sudden and unexpected effect that you would consider harmful". That being said, this open-ended description would make it so that find traps can detect almost any possible misfortune, and I feel like the category of "traps" is pretty well defined. In the interest of transparency, the creature's name was listed as "Trapper". I know that sounds incriminating, and I will accept the court's judgement regardless of their verdict. Should I have let my wife's "find traps" spell save her from hidden creatures, or was I correct that it's probably intended for FINDING TRAPS?

Anonymous

Sarah from Toronto, Canada Greetings gentle and wise judges and the fine bailiff. I present you the case of the unrequited, player to player romance. I am in a campaign with some friends and my boyfriend. My boyfriend, the DM, and I had all played D&D before, and this was the 3 other plays first time. We have played about 10 sessions together now so everyone understands the game. There was a running joke of my boyfriends character (a monk named Haum) hitting on my character (a barbarian named Kallista) and Kallista being uninterested, until last episode Haum received a gift from his god and swore off all earthly possession and romantic relationships. That was all good and fine until the next session when one of the other players who’s character is named Saorise pulled Kallista aside and confessed she had always like Haum and asked what I thought. This was completely out of nowhere and was also the only real role playing attempt she had made in the whole campaign. In character I said to go for it, but out of the role playing I thought it was weird. I always got the vibe this person had an innocent enough crush on my partner, but this was a weird move. I’m worried it will affect how I play the game going forward! I ask you judges, what can be done? Am I reading too much into this and need to separate my real life from the game? Should I role play a dramatic confession of love to my boyfriends character? If it matters, my boyfriend also thought it was weird and encouraged me to submit this case. I humbly await your judgement.

Anonymous

Not court case, but a visit to the church Dearest members of the court and the underrated bailiff Jake, I ask that you remove wigs and don your robes because I require council of the church as I fear my cat character may have been cursed by dice Christ or perhaps an affiliated god of the realm… years ago I created a Tabaxi Bard (Mrs Mistofolees) character. I got a personalised mini made by hero forge (big deal because It’s expensive to make/ship to New Zealand & my family got it for me for my birthday), my partner painted the mini perfectly. I was so excited to play with my new Tabaxi bard; only to be disappointed because the campaign did not go past the first session… which it was fine because I can use this character in almost any campaign… So I joined a different campaign with Mrs Mistofolees, only to have this campaign die after the first couple sessions… this has happened to campaigns Mrs Mistofolees has touched 6 times (one time she was a guest appearance in existing campaign that stopped after she left). I am beginning to fear that any campaign she touches is cursed! (I know its not me personally, I have played in many with different characters). What do I do? do I retire Mrs mistofolees? Is she cursed to never adventure? Am I being paranoid? Is there dice Christ ritual I can do to cleans her? Please help Mrs mistofolees adventure again.

Pearl of a Girl Nursery

Tess from Virginia Beach (shoutout to belly chains) May it please the court and the other guy, but mostly our sovereign queen of roleplay Emily Axford: I’m in a weird position with one of my D&D groups. I was brought on by the DM specifically to provide more roleplay, but I feel like my roleplay is creating a rift between me and one of the other PCs. It’s a very uncomfortable feeling where I feel like he doesn’t like my roleplay choices and as a result, has made it obvious he doesn’t enjoy my participation as a player. I feel like I’ve spent several sessions trying to get on his good side, but ultimately my character Villie, a 15-year-old sorcerer, has settled into the idea that his character doesn’t like her. That’s the best I can do, and the best response I can give when he asks why I don’t use my buffs or anything on him unless it’s an emergency - Villie doesn’t think his character likes her, so she keeps her distance. I was hoping it would prompt him to try to make nice because I felt like I’d already tried that myself, but no luck. I feel like I’ve done everything I can on my end here, but I can’t help thinking maybe it was a mistake for the DM to involve me in this campaign. He insists that he likes the different “styles” that we all play, but I struggle to see how it works all together. The best roleplay requires a lot of trust with your other players, but I think there’s an element of consent that’s hard to ignore, too. This guy clearly doesn’t consent to roleplay, as he can’t even distinguish my choices from my character’s. And I don’t want to force him to roleplay either, but D&D means nothing to me without it. Can two people like this even coexist in a campaign? As much as I don’t think he’s a very understanding person, I also can’t totally fault him for having his own way to play the game.

Pearl of a Girl Nursery
>>78706075

I think if your boyfriend thinks it’s weird, there you go. He’s not comfortable with it. Every romantic relationship in a game needs to be run by the DM and other players involved before anything is initiated.

Anonymous

Holy and esteemed Archbishops of the Church of Dice Christ, I humbly submit to you a moral quandary that I have been ruminating on for some time. Namely, is it ever obligatory to fudge dice rolls in favor of the party as the DM? The incident in question was during a stealth mission to infiltrate the hidden archives of an evil cult. The party was in what was essentially a secret closet and left one member (Bard) to keep watch. The bard was found and promptly KO’d by a high-ranking monk (using a combo of multiple attacks and stunning strikes) who then set an ambush for the party with a group of weaker shadow monks. When it came time to roll initiative the head monk promptly rolled a 20+ initiative, and then the group of 6 lesser monks (who I rolled their initiative together for) rolled a Nat 20, which, with the addition of their high dex bonus, lead to all of the enemies getting off 4 attacks each with stunning strike and flurry of blows. The party’s two tanks were down before they could even fully leave the closet - and the rest of the party had to essentially run a monk gauntlet to try and get out. It ended in a TPK, and the party was captured (led to a cool prison break mini-arc). Was I right to let the Nat 20 stand, or should I have fudged the initiative to give my party a fighting chance?

Anonymous

May it please the court, I submit the case of the disruptive boyfriend. Titular Critular Justices and… jake… I am the DM for 2 year long campaign of 4 players and we recently had a 2 day outing session at a cabin just outside of Milwaukee (shameless city plug). After the conclusion of the first day, one of our players asked if their new partner, who the rest of us had only met once, could come out for session 2. We all agreed that we would do our best to stay in character for the weekend, and he had never played before. So, mitigating the situation, I asked if we could do another weekend soon and we could have him periodically come by for our home games and get him acclimated to the party and dnd in general. They agreed and soon we all went to bed. At 10 am the next day, a knock on the door sounded, and at the door was their new partner. After some conversation, I told them it’s nice to meet you, if you wanna stay with us for the day feel free to drink and observe. I shit you not, this guy said that’s okay, found a corner of the cabin, and started playing elder scrolls on his laptop. The internet was poor, so he then decided he wanted to observe about 2 hours later. We were at the climax of a major arc for one of our other players, and borderline interrupting me, the guy said to our player “I’m gonna head out, I’m not having any fun” he gathered his stuff and left abruptly. An hour later, he broke up with our player via text saying THEY ARE TOO NERDY FOR HIM. The player became despondent, but insisted they wanted to continue playing. I pulled them aside and said we can just enjoy the cabin and party, but they persisted that they didn’t want to fuck up the weekend We continued playing, it did not go well, and they ended up leaving that night to go back to Milwaukee. As the DM, should I have shifted the gameplay or stopped it all together? My beautiful partner said later we should have just done a one shot or something else. Even if I handled this poorly, please provide punishment for this elder scrolls buttplug who brought a gaming laptop to a cabin and complained about the internet. Commiserately, Maxwell J.

Anonymous

I have a court case, to the honorable judges, and the extremely so so bailiff, I present my case. I had my PCs do the deck of many things. So they all drew well, my rogue drew the card for 10000 XP, The Jester. My Druid drew The Fates. My Ranger then drew Moon. And to top it all off they made my PC, another ranger, pull a card from the deck, he drew Balance. My Druid then canceled out my Balance, using her The Fates card to unravel the fabric of reality and make it to where my PC never drew the Balance card, which would have made my PC (my Balnor) lawful evil. Then my Ranger requested that he now have a new familiar, a T Rex that has like 136 HP, keep in mind these PCs are like level 6. But he does have a wish spell and technically he has 3 wish spells, but one is enough. So should I let him have his dinosaur? Justice Murphy I plead directly to you, help

Anonymous

Honourable Judges and most cowardly Bailiff, hear my case of murderous intentions. I was playing in a game that a friend of mine decided to run, where I was not entirely familiar with the other players. About 3 sessions into the campaign our party was infiltrating a town taken over by mercenaries. We were attacked on the road by 3 of these mercenaries and successfully fought and killed 2 while leaving one for interrogation. After questioning him, my character killed him and hid the body as we were trying to stay unknown in the town and it was presumed he would go and tell the others that we were here. I’ve never been one for character alignments and as such did not have one marked down, however, after this encounter, another player, the DMs brother, insisted that I now had to mark my alignment as evil as I killed the prisoner. We argued about it and the game ended awkwardly shortly after. I ask of you, was he right in saying that my character should therefore be marked as evil? Or was it a justified action beyond the narrow boxes of alignment. I wait humbly for your verdict.

Anonymous

Oh honourable Judges, our under-appreciated bailiff, and the Dice jury of Patreon. I plead my case to the court. It feels like the DM is rushing through my backstory while spending more time on the others. Our current campaign has been running for about 2 years. The first major city we got to was home to two of our characters. We spent 6 real months in this city, letting them do their back story, exploring, and putting up with a toxic party member who we later encouraged to leave after they were incredibly disrespectful to me and the party (As the only female in the group, I took the brunt of the disrespect). Mostly everyone got to have their character moments and spent time in their hometown. I took more of a backseat since I was dealing with the toxic guy and minimizing myself made things easier. While it took a while, and there were a lot of bumps along the way, it was really fun to see the character's backstories and let them shine. We've left the city and toxic guy left as well, so we could move on and heal some trauma, stopping at a few places, spotlighting other characters as we traveled. I continued to take a back seat to encourage the quieter characters to have their moments since I am louder and more outgoing than a lot of them, and was dealing with some PTSD from how bad toxic guys was to me. Our next stop was the town my character grew up in. After watching how much time the other characters got on their backstory, and after everything with toxic guy that I went though, I was really excited to do a few things, and have my small moment in the spotlight after letting everyone else have theirs. I was not expecting how small of a moment i would actually get. It takes us a month or so to get to the town, then once we get there, my character and my twin (played by my buddy) aren't allowed in our home because we have to do this hunt as a right of passage (we knew about this so that's fine). The DM sped us to the hunt because there was only so much we could do before it since we were ostracized till we completed it. The hunt starts, and while we're off in the woods, the party is reminded by an NPC that we're taking too long for the main quest and are told to speed up. While we're still on the hunt, the DM implies my town will be attacked by an army that was following us (we haven't seen the army in months). While this is happening, my twin dies during the hunt. Before my character even gets back to town, (after the DM regularly forgets I'm out there because he's focused on everyone else's stories), not knowing my brother is dead, the town gets attacked and it's heavily implied we should flee, but we choose to stay and find my character's family. From the time we got to the town to now has maybe been 4 sessions? Last night, i find out that our DM was talking to one of the players, getting them ready for their new character to be introduced, and set them to be introduced with the main story. He told them he "didn't expect us to be here this long already, he expected us to run away" leaving my character's family to die and leaving my twin brother, who I still don't know is dead, which is very out of character for my her. He's mentioned a few times that this is a "living world" and things are always happening in the background. I'm all for the story and I'm interested to see where it goes, but after last night, it felt like my stuff was really rushed. I'm not asking for 6 months, but I was really looking forward to coming here and finally getting my time to shine, even for a moment, or at the very least, be allowed in my bedroom so my character can change clothes lol. I know there is probably more to my backstory that the DM has planned... But after the last few sessions, how much more with my backstory is rushed compared to other party members. I ask the judges and jury, am I over-reacting? Reading too much into this? or am I right to be kind of upset or disappointed? I wait humbly for your verdict. Thank you.

Anonymous

Oh wise judges and the bailiff, I come to you with a case that has sat with me since the event took place. The campaign I was playing in had been taking place for over a year. The story had evolved from a knock-off fantasy high to an alternate universe version of my character starting a war. Upon first meeting the "evil me" she cast hold person on the entire party. Everyone failed the wisdom check except for my character. Not trying to be captured I cast misty step and teleported into the shadows. I had the eldrich invocations mask of many faces, one with shadows, and aspect of the moon. With this combo and a lack of an initiative roll I acted fast. I cast mask of many faces and disguised myself as a standard goon of my evil self. I then cast invisibility and was prepared to wait for as long as it took for me to be able to leave. The actual goons began throwing my party into a cave that transported them to an alternate universe. While this was happening I succeeded on my checks and was able to sneak out of the hideout and to safety. I thought I was successful and was home-free. Boy was I wrong. My DM congratulated me on my ability to escape, dice christ was on my side. Shortly after I asked if I could run back to our allies and find someone who would be willing to help me save my friends. My DM informed me that the plan I had in place was unrealistic and so he would not allow it. No one would be willing to leave the safety of the school to help me fight an evil me. My argument was that I just lost my party to an alternate universe cave so the logistics of the real world versus our campaign shouldn't be a valid argument for why or why not I can do something. I was fighting for an attempt to try. To be able to fuck around and find out. He then told me that my character felt as though I couldn't do this on my own and that I had a greater debt to my party than to maybe get someone else to help. He then narratively decided that one of the professors at the school spiritually placed me with my party so I wasn't there physically, but I was still there. It quickly became apparent that my success meant nothing and the campaign was going to continue as planned. So I ask the court, was I wrong for honoring my successful wisdom roll from dice christ and escaping the hideout or should I have just gone along with the story my DM was trying to tell. I am looking forward to your ruling and accept whatever the verdict may be. Thank you kindly

Anonymous

Dear Dice Christ... I know this post is old, and I know this isn't a court case, but I have a confession that is eating away at my Raised Catholic Guilt. This also JUST happened and I had to find a post to confess on. The party's wizard was down (by a very noble Overchannel sacrifice), I had 4 levels of exhaustion, the rogue had 3 levels of exhaustion, and we only had half the bosses defeated in the building, which was collapsing into a vat of acid. I (bard) mounted the broom of flying, Bonus Action Healing Word-ed the wizard, and then put the rogue onto the broom and made a full movement for a window outside the building, where a ton of lower-level clerics were waiting to help us. I was 5 feet short of being able to exit the building, so I Dimension Door-ed the rogue and I to the front door, where I knew it would be easier to find a cleric who could help us. It occurred to me the next turn, that I couldn't do that... I already cast a spell as a bonus action. The Monk would have given the wizard a healing potion either way (we had established that as a plan before my turn began) but I absolutely did not correct myself and allowed the game to go on. Forgive me, as I did this to save the wizard. So, before I could post this comment, I reached my 6th level of exhaustion and died. This is how it went down: I did my final constitution save, and my DM allowed me to use a Bardic Inspo on myself to add to the save. I also have 3 levels of Divine Soul Sorcerer, which allows an extra 2d4 to a save I used both of these and reached a 23 on the 21 CR con save. I was about to get the curse removed. Then. At the beginning of the next turn, the DM remembered. "WAIT. You have disadvantage on the saving throw you just have to beat a -" I rolled the 10 that he was about to say. After the modifiers, I got a 20 on the 21CR con save and died. I think Dice Christ has spoken. I have repented with my life. RIP Starlight Havensword (Whose real name was Egwene Lostbourne - yes a namesake from NADDPOD). She found her dad (who turned out to be an elf/dragon) and had taught a scarred man to love. She may or may not be revivified sometime soon, as her enchanted armor extends the time frame for the spell. However, you need a more powerful cleric to do that.... and ours is feeble-minded. Remember to sing a song for your bard, and don't have your last words be ".....shit."

Oppa SJ Style (edited)

Comment edits

2023-01-01 23:02:16 To my dear, lovely Supreme Court Justices and the super rad bailiff who decides if this makes d&d court, I have a confession/accusation/question for dice Christ. Me and my friends have two games, one where I DM and one where my buddy is the DM. In the last session of game in which I DM, the party (known as the Adventure Gang) was fighting the BBEG of the arc. I rolled 4 nat 20s in the span of 5 combat turns, almost resulting in a TPK (3 out of 5 players down) but with a clutch nat 20 from our Druid, they managed to defeat Tiamat at the cost of the pirate captain who the party felt bad for. The very next day, with the same dice, in my buddy’s campaign (known as the Adventure Mafia), I rolled 3 nat 1’s in a row in combat, almost killing my player at his meek level 2 status. I would like to apologize to dice christ for almost taking out the Adventure Gang however my players also claimed that it was the best session yet, so I would also like to ask, what gives? May it please the mighty interpreters of DC’s benevolent will to determine what action is required for more peaceful rolls in the future.
2022-03-27 05:19:22 To my dear, lovely Supreme Court Justices and the super rad bailiff who decides if this makes d&d court, I have a confession/accusation/question for dice Christ. Me and my friends have two games, one where I DM and one where my buddy is the DM. In the last session of game in which I DM, the party (known as the Adventure Gang) was fighting the BBEG of the arc. I rolled 4 nat 20s in the span of 5 combat turns, almost resulting in a TPK (3 out of 5 players down) but with a clutch nat 20 from our Druid, they managed to defeat Tiamat at the cost of the pirate captain who the party felt bad for. The very next day, with the same dice, in my buddy’s campaign (known as the Adventure Mafia), I rolled 3 nat 1’s in a row in combat, almost killing my player at his meek level 2 status. I would like to apologize to dice christ for almost taking out the Adventure Gang however my players also claimed that it was the best session yet, so I would also like to ask, what gives? May it please the mighty interpreters of DC’s benevolent will to determine what action is required for more peaceful rolls in the future.

To my dear, lovely Supreme Court Justices and the super rad bailiff who decides if this makes d&d court, I have a confession/accusation/question for dice Christ. Me and my friends have two games, one where I DM and one where my buddy is the DM. In the last session of game in which I DM, the party (known as the Adventure Gang) was fighting the BBEG of the arc. I rolled 4 nat 20s in the span of 5 combat turns, almost resulting in a TPK (3 out of 5 players down) but with a clutch nat 20 from our Druid, they managed to defeat Tiamat at the cost of the pirate captain who the party felt bad for. The very next day, with the same dice, in my buddy’s campaign (known as the Adventure Mafia), I rolled 3 nat 1’s in a row in combat, almost killing my player at his meek level 2 status. I would like to apologize to dice christ for almost taking out the Adventure Gang however my players also claimed that it was the best session yet, so I would also like to ask, what gives? May it please the mighty interpreters of DC’s benevolent will to determine what action is required for more peaceful rolls in the future.