The Festival (MDLB) (Patreon)

“Are you sure you purchased the correct ticket?” Joy asked, glancing over at Anthony, who was busy clicking away on Ticketmaster.

“Yes,” Anthony said, waving her away, “You fuss too much.”

Anthony and Joy were busy trying to do one of the most challenging things imaginable, buy tickets to DigiWorld, one of the largest music festivals in the world. DigiWorld, had some of the most up-and-coming DJs, some of the most established DJs, and sold out in mere minutes every year.

It was also crazy expensive. After saving for two years to score “Enhanced VIP Experience” passes, Anthony and Joy were prepared to have the time of their lives during the digital sunrise.

“Don’t forget you need to purchase the restroom ad ons,” Joy said, leaning over his shoulder and pointing to the screen.

Anthony paused and looked up at his girlfriend. She always did this, micromanaging everything. She needed to chill the fuck out and just go with the flow sometimes. This wasn’t his first time buying tickets, and it wouldn’t be his last.

“Are you buying these tickets, or am I?” Anthony asked a little more aggressively than planned.

Joy frowned, “I’m just saying, please don’t forget.”

Anthony folded his arms and closed the laptop. “Maybe you’d like to start this process then, see how lucky you can get doing this on your own.

“No!” Joy yelled, throwing her hands out to stop the computer from closing. But the computer was already closed. “You fucking idiot, you’ll lose our place in line. How the fuck are we supposed to –”

But Anthony was laughing at this point. “Relax, Joy. I bought the tickets already.”

Joy glared at him, forced a laugh, and then left the room.

Asshole.

**

Anthony smiled to himself when he saw the email from the festival organizers about ten months later. The email thanked him for purchasing Elevated Experience Passes and informed him that several tiers were sold out. His passes came with a few extra perks, including the ability to watch one of the DJs from backstage and an exclusive pool party during the festival.

But Anthony’s stomach cringed slightly when he realized he’d messed up. His tickets didn’t come with bathroom passes.

“Please,” Anthony said on the phone to customer service, “Is there any way I can purchase the ad now? I thought I had bought it when I paid for the tickets.”

“I hate to tell you this, sir,” the customer service agent was extremely polite, which meant there was no good news coming from him. “But those sold out first.”

Anthony groaned. “Do you think more of them will go on sale?”

“Honestly, no.” The customer service agent did sound sorry. “This year, we’ve had a little trouble getting executive trucks that house the restrooms. You know, supply chains, labor shortages. I doubt more will be appearing. But you can keep trying. If you refresh the page every day at 8 am, that’s when new inventory is released.”

Anthony thanked the man and hung up. He would have a lot of refreshing to do over the next two weeks.

**

But Anthony would refresh each day, and nothing would appear. He’d set his alarm for 7:55, sit on the edge of the bed and pray he could get the bathroom add-on tickets. But at 8:01, they still said sold out.

Joy, to her credit, who didn’t know any of what was going on, was preparing her festival outfits. “Do you think this fit would work if it’s windy?” Joy asked, looking in the mirror at a particularly flowy outfit that seemed to leave hardly anything to the imagination the harder the wind blew.

“It’s hot,” Anthony said, grinning as he walked behind her.

Joy smiled. “It’s a good thing we’ve got those bathroom passes. Did you see the note from the festival saying they were short on restrooms this year? Imagine having to line up to use a portapotty.

Anthony laughed a little too hard. “Yeah, imagine that.” He glanced at his phone. Still no passes.

But a few days later, he could precisely imagine that because two days before the festival, no ad-ons were available. So it was time to come clean.

“Babe,” Anthony said while they were both lying in bed two days before it was time for them to jump into the car for the ride to the grounds. “I didn’t get the bathroom tickets.”

Anthony was quiet as he listened to Joy roll over in bed and look over at him. She stared him hard in the face for a moment and grimaced.

“Do you remember what you said to me?”

Anthony did his best to adopt a neutral expression. He was in the doghouse and needed this to blow over.

“Anthony, I asked you a question,”

“I… well… you asked me if…”

“Anthony, that doesn’t sound like a question.”

“Look, babe,” Anthony placed his hands between his legs with nervousness. “I know, I was a jerk, I thought I had bought them, but it turns out I hadn’t, okay?”

“You still haven’t answered my question.” Joy just stared at him hard. For a moment, it appeared that her eyes had grown darker than they were before. Her features were hard. She felt cold.

“Am I buying the tickets or are you,” Anthony mumbled.

“And it turns out that you actually were not buying the tickets. At least not the correct ones anyway.

Anthony was quiet back. There was no answer he could give.

Joy turned back around and stayed quiet.

For a moment, Anthony considered apologizing to try and set things straight. But instead, all he heard was her saying, “Typical,” and sniffing a few times before she started her light snores.

Anthony had a hard time sleeping that night.

**

Anthony pulled out the app and smiled. At 8:02 am, the ticket page was offering a single-use bathroom option. Based on the app, it looked like you could use your wristband to pay for things, including single-use access to executive restrooms. However, at $20 a flush, Anthony frowned. That wasn’t quite the bright idea he had been expecting. Maybe he could convince Joy that they could use the executive restrooms a few times over the weekend and instead use the portable facilities for less… intensive exercises.

But ever since their less-than-ideal pillow talk, Joy had refused to discuss the issue. In fact, she had been a little more cheerful than usual, packing her duffel bag and insisting to Anthony that she’d figure out a solution to the restrooms. Clearly, he wasn’t able to take care of it himself.

Anthony just shoved his partner’s passive-aggressiveness out of his head, determined to have a good time.

Before they knew it, the car was packed and ready to go. Right before closing the frunk of the Tesla, Anthony noticed a large bag sitting inside. He didn’t have time to investigate, but it was brightly colored. Pastel even. Anthony assumed that Joy had gotten a new bag to put the rave supplies but did find this unusual considering that he usually carried a hydropack to stay hydrated. Maybe this was just for camp.

Besides, anyone who raves knows that a shoulder bag was just asking for trouble.

But as he settled into the passenger seat and they prepared for the four-hour drive to the valley, Anthony was simply excited. He’d see his favorite artists soon and they’d have a good time.

Heck the pool party with DJ Krule was going to be wicked.

But if Anthony had known what was in store for him, he might have never gotten into the passenger seat.

**

Joy parked the Tesla and told Anthony they needed to talk before they set up camp and headed into the grounds.

“Okay, what’s up?”

“You’ve been acting irresponsible lately,” Joy said, folding her arms. “And I think you know that.”

Anthony was quiet. Surely she wasn’t going on and on about the bathroom tickets. They’d solved that already. They’d use the pay-as-you-go plan.

“Babe, if this is about those tickets...”

Joy shook her head. “It’s not just that. It’s everything. I’ve been living with you for three years now, and I’m noticing that you will apologize for things but not actually correct the behavior in the long term.”

“Babe, they were just tickets,”

“It’s not just the tickets,” Joy snapped. “You’re not stupid, Anthony.”

The car was quiet as Joy gave Anthony an extremely hard stare.

“I don’t want us to be angry with each other all weekend,” Anthony said quietly.

Joy gave Anthony a pitiful look. “And neither do I, but you’ll have to learn a lesson this weekend.”

Anthony frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I can turn the car around right now, and we can drive back home. Then you can move your things out.”

Anthony just stared at Joy. This was coming out of left field. He hadn’t realized she had been this upset with him. As she listed why she felt this way, it suddenly dawned on him. He had been ignoring her. Anthony had selfishly been working on his own projects on his time. He'd been a complete space cadet over and over again.

Anthony was embarrassed.

“I…” Anthony swallowed hard. “I really don’t want that, Joy.”

Joy did that thing again where the dark look in her eyes pierced through his soul.

Anthony had to admit, looking out of the windows of the car and watching other couples stream past the car wearing their various festival fits, he was embarrassed.

“I want the other option,” Anthony said quietly, looking down at his hands.

“I haven’t told you what it is yet.”

“I don’t want to lose you. I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?”

Anthony nodded. “I can apologize, do the chores for the next month.”

“You’ll be doing the chores.” Joy snapped. “It’ll be the least that you’re doing.”

Anthony tan his hand through his hair and leaned against the car window. He fumbled with the window switch absentmindedly for a moment while Joy continued.

“You need to learn that your actions have consequences,” Joy continued. Joy reached for her sunglasses but then shook her head. “The sun is setting. I’m an idiot.”

“Yes, you are?” Anthony tried his hand at a joke.

Joy shook her head. “Not yet.”

Anthony was quiet. How was she planning on teaching him a lesson? Surly a month of doing all the laundry and wiping down the toilets would be penance enough.

But Joy motioned to the frunk of the car. “Go get the pastel bag that’s sitting in there.”

Anthony nodded and exited the car to retrieve the bag. Opening the frunk he paused again to inspect the bag. The bag was about the size of a small gym bag and had a large pastel pink strap around the edges. Looking closely, he noticed it had side pockets that looked like they were cinched, almost as if they were designed to hold oversized items. On the top was a thick white zipper holding the bag closed.

Anthony picked up the bag and noticed the pattern on the bag was little animals in colors that were not accurate in the least bit. One of the gorillas was blue, and the elephant was pink.

Anthony slung the bag over his shoulder and felt the soft thump of the slightly plasticky exterior thump against his leg.

“What’s in the bag?”

“Your lesson.”

“My lesson.”

“You just said you’d do anything.”

“The chores Joy, the chores Joy.”

“It’s this or you’re going to lose me, Anthony.”

The silence stung.

Joy’s lip trembled. “It’s either this or I’m walking. And then I’m done and not coming back.”

“Back?”

“I won’t.” Joy opened the door and stepped outside of the car. “Grab your other bag. We’re headed to the tent. We’ll discuss your discipline there.”

The door closed, and Anthony heard her fumbling with a few other items in the back. Anthony glanced at the pastel bag on his lap and rolled his eyes.

He was confused at what was possibly in the bag. Joy had never been like this before. She’d never just thrown down the law. She was usually understanding, and compassionate. But for some reason, today, she was… fiery. He could tell Joy was serious.

But he could just open the bag and see what was inside.

Anthony placed one hand on the zipper and began to pull it backward. Inside were several white, fluffy plastic-looking items. The bag smelled familiar, like a long-ago distant memory. He thought maybe he saw a pacifier inside, but that was no surprise. They were at a rave, after all…

The door swung open, shocking Anthony.

“Let’s go Anthony,” Joy said. “You wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise now, would you?”

Anthony nodded, zipping the bag back up. He exited the car and slung the bag over his shoulder.

***