Who Let This Spider Cook?! Ch.38 (Patreon)

— Kakuei —

I walked down the First Floor halls of Nazarick with a small frown on my face. 

It had only been a couple of hours since I had put Momonga to sleep. The thought of Buku being restrained to her current form plagued my mind and made me wish I had done things better while we were still in Yggdrasil—but I couldn’t go back now, so I just have to figure out a way to solve that issue.

I could deal with that later, though. As much as I wanted Kaori to have a normal body, it wasn’t our largest concern now.

We are in a strange world, after all, and I haven’t even been outside to get a look for myself.

Which is exactly what I planned on doing right now. 

I glanced back at the red-headed Valkyrie that followed behind me. 

Rubedo had been rather adamant in her suggestion of accompanying me outside of the Tomb, and I didn’t have any rejections to her request. There was no telling what kind of world we currently found ourselves in, and having the strongest of our creations behind me was very reassuring. 

We exited the Tomb and I took in a deep breath of the outside air.

“Let us go, Rubedo,” I said, earning a bow from her. I planted my feet firmly on the ground and crouched down before jumping up with a good amount of force and taking to the night sky.

BOOM

FWOOOOOSH

The earth beneath me cracked as I was launched high into the air. As I went higher, my ascent began to slow, and as I came to a stop, I remained floating in the air. 

A soft breath escaped my lips as I took what I was doing. I was flying, and it was awesome! The wind blowing through my hair felt great, and as I looked down to the world beneath me, my heart slowed in quiet fascination. 

Mountains scaled at my south, going as far as the eye could see toward the west. And the other way, the east-

A vast ocean, one with water that seemed to shine from the sunlight and clarity of the water. 

This…was perhaps the second most breathtaking sight I’ve seen in all of my lives. 

I took in another breath of the fresh air and outstretched my hand, holding it out so the mountains appeared to be lying just on top of it. 

This was just another sign that all of this was real. That this wasn’t just a dream, nor some trick of the mind. 

We really made it. Out of that godforsaken world and into a new, fresh one.

The faces of Kaori and Megumi quickly flashed into my mind and a disappointed frown tugged down on my lips. I should have taken them with me to see this sight. I’m sure they’d love it, much more than even I. They’d probably spend hours just looking off into the distance.

“This world-” I spoke slowly. “I wish to learn everything about it, and one day…take it for Nazarick.”

“I will aid you, My Lord,” Rubedo said, bowing her head. I looked back at her with slightly widened eyes. For a moment I was so lost in my own thoughts that I forgot she was even with me. 

“As is your duty.” A small smile tugged at my lips as I looked out to the mountains once more. “You, along with the guardians, I wish to use your might. Prepare yourself for that day, Rubedo.” 

“If it is what the Lord of Nazarick demands, so it shall be.” 

I nodded, content with her answer. Rubedo being so loyal was a good sign in my books, and if the rest of the guardians shared her willingness to follow orders, as they should, then taking this world shouldn’t be too hard.

But first, we must know more about it, and strengthen our defenses. 

I glanced down to the Great Tomb of Nazarick and focused my gaze down to the exterior wall on the south side which was being hidden beneath a massive pile of dirt. 

My eyes locked onto the form of Mare who was trying his best to succeed in my earlier order of masking the tomb. 

Good boy, I think I’ll coddle him a little.

I floated downward headfirst, falling at a relatively fast pace. One look backward showed me Rubedo was following at the same pace with her normal expressionless face. 

As we approached the dark elf boy, he looked up and his body shook in surprise. He quickly stood straighter as we landed and bowed his head.

“L-Lord Kakuei…it’s amazing to see you again. W-what can I do for you?” Mare stuttered. 

“Don’t worry about me, Mare.” I smiled warmly down to the boy and stepped forward, placing my hand on his head and running it gently through his hair. 

I felt him relax under my hand, and the small bit of force that pushed into my hand made my smile grow. 

“I-I see…” A small smile came to his face. “Do you want me to continue working?” 

“Yes, I merely wished to give you company, if you would allow me to.”

“Of course!” Mare shouted quickly. “It is an honor to even be in the presence of a Supreme Being, much more the Leader of them!” He paused as he realized he may have been rude yelling at me and shrank into himself. 

A chuckle escaped me as I continued patting the boy’s head. 

“Rubedo, I’m sure I’ll be alright now. I do not plan on leaving these walls, why don’t you leave us for now?” I asked/gently ordered, and the strongest creation bowed to me. 

“As you command.”

“Wait.” I quickly said as she was just about to walk away. I reached into my inventory/space thingy, whatever the hell my game inventory had been turned into, and pulled out a Ring of Hell’s Paradise. “Take this. As it is your duty to protect the family of Touch Me, I believe this ring may be most useful in your hands.”

Her mouth slightly opened, the top half of her face hidden beneath her mask, but I could see her deep blue eyes that were filled with surprise.

She quickly bowed, dropping down to a knee. 

“Thank, Almighty Lord of the Supreme Ones.” 

Yeah, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of being called that. 

“You needn’t thank me, your abilities have earned you this gift.” I crouched down to her level and gently grabbed her hand. I put the ring between my index finger and thumb and slipped it onto her ring finger. “Use it well.”

“Yes.” 

As I stood up, Rubedo also rose to her feet and with one more bow of her head, she began making her way back into the Tomb. 

“Looks like it’s just you and me, Mare.” I grinned, dragging my hand down to the back of the boy’s neck. 

“Y-Yes.” He nodded quickly. 

“Why don’t we talk man to man while you work?” I asked, nudging him a bit, and he nodded, reaching down and picking up his staff which he dropped earlier and raising it toward the dirt. The dirt, as if it were alive, began to creep up the wall once more.

I watched in quiet fascination and a tinge of pride as he easily masked the walls of Nazarick with what looked like little to no effort. 

At the very least it seems like our creations are getting the hang of their life in this new world as well as the abilities they possess. 

“So, tell me, how do you see Buku?” I asked with genuine curiosity as I looked down at the boy who paused in his work for a moment. His eyes returned to me before quickly looking away in shy thought.

“Lady BukuBukuChagama is my creator.” He answered respectfully but I shook my head. 

“I mean deeper than that, Mare. Describe what she means to you.” I clarified, earning a small fidget from the boy as he began to ponder. 

“She’s…kind, and gentle, and she smells nice.” He whispered out with rosy cheeks. “And more than that, when I’m around her I feel…warm.” 

I nodded at that, my smile growing a couple sizes as he continued. 

“Spending time with her is amazing…so if I had to describe what she means to me, I’d say she means everything, to both me and Aura.” 

I couldn’t stop myself from full blown grinning as I pushed my hand into his hair again, making him flinch from the surprise contact. He quickly adapted and pushed his head into my hand, craving more.

Seriously, these two are adorable. 

“Well then, let me tell you something.” I crouched down to his level and placed my hands on his shoulders, earning his full attention. I had a feeling Buku had already told them what I was about to say, but I wanted both Aura and Mare to hear this out of my own mouth. “Buku loves both of you very much, not just how one of us would love our creations, but moreso how a mother would love her children, and the same applies to me. 

I brought one hand up to cup the boy’s cheek as his eyes widened in surprise. 

“Mare, you are my son. I am your father and Buku is your mother. Both you and your sister mean a great deal to us, so please drop such formalities when addressing both of us.” 

The look Mare gave me told me he couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth, but being a Supreme Being and speaking so sincerely to him told the boy that my words must be true. 

I outstretched my arms with a warm, welcoming smile, and a moment later Mare crashed into my body, wrapping his arms around my torso in a tight embrace. I wrapped my six arms around him, cradling the boy close to me. Warmth that I had never experienced in any of my lives filled my chest in that moment, and as I looked down at the sobbing boy, I realized what I’d just done-

Holy shit, I’m a dad.

We stayed like that, locked in a tight embrace and enjoying each other's warmth for several minutes before I slowly began to pull my arms away, making him look up at me slowly. 

I was content with staying like that, but if I didn’t pull away, he never would have and we would have been here all night. 

“I suppose I’ve lost track of the time, I really should be getting back to the Tomb now.” I offered the boy a smile, earning a small, saddened nod from the boy. I placed my hand on his head one more time and rubbed it. “Don’t be upset, we can spend more time together when you’ve finished your work.” 

Mare nodded again and rose as I did. 

“T-Thank you, Lord Kakuei.” 

I frowned at that, and gently pinched his ear, making him close him wince. 

“None of that, Mare. What did I just say?” 

He paused for a moment before his eyes widened in realization and a strong blush came to his cheeks. 

“T-Thank y-ou, F-Father.” 

“Good boy.” I smiled, letting go of his ears and turning away. I started making my way back into the Tomb, leaving Mare behind to delve into his thoughts. 

SPLASH

My gaze immediately turned back to Mare to see his body be consumed by a tower of water. 

“Mare!” I shouted, quickly rushing over and slamming into the tower of water, pulling the soaked boy out of it and landing on a dry part of the wall. 

He coughed up some water, confused by his sudden state. He was completely drenched, but otherwise unharmed.

An attack?

No, if it was an attack, they’d use something more lethal than a tower of water that couldn’t even harm a normal human. 

Intrinsic Skill: Eyes of Lustful Intentions 

My eyes scanned the area and locked onto the culprit. 

I paused and let out a tired sigh.

Yeah, I should have figured she’d try something like this sooner or later.

“Lor- Father?” Mare asked, a stronger blush on his cheeks as I looked down at him. Ah, right, he’s still in my arms. 

I gently put the boy down and looked toward the culprit. 

“I know it’s you, come out, Young Lady.” I crossed my arms and began tapping my foot like a scolding parent waiting for their child to come out of hiding-

Which is exactly what was happening right now.

I watched as the space in front of me distorted and off a small rift stepped a small long-green-haired girl with glowing green eyes, wearing a oversized white shirt. 

“...”

“What do you have to say for yourself, Yggy?” I asked the daughter of Yggdrasil with a disappointed frown. 

“...I’m sorry.” 

“For?”

“For not getting him better.” 

“That’s…” I facepalmed. That wasn’t what I had wanted her to say, but I can hardly be surprised, after all I made her like this. 

Yggy is the seed that we got from defeating the World Eater and planted on the Sixth Floor of Nazarick. Her true body is that of a growing tree in the Tomb, but like her mother, Yggy can manifest herself anywhere she wishes for as far as her roots spread, and considering they spread all throughout Nazarick now, it means she can freely travel throughout it. 

Now, the main issue with her is how I programmed her. I made her into a wicked being, but not in the sense of outright evil, no, in terms of inhabitants of Nazrick, she actually has one of, if not the highest karma ratings of everyone here.

No, her genre of wicked is more so in the mild inconvenience sweet spot. 

To put it bluntly, she’s a prankster. The kind who will warm someone’s pillow at night, or take the last slice of pizza then lick it and throw it in the trash. She’s not outright evil, but she’s definitely a piece of work-

Exactly how I intended her to be. The only issue I have with her now is that she went after Mare while he was doing his work. If she went after him at any other time, that’s fair game, but right now it was important to fortify Nazarick. 

“Pranking is funny and all, but not while people are working to solidify Nazarick’s defenses. Apologize, Yggy.” I stared down at her, earning a pout from the girl that looked no older than six. 

“...Yggy’s sorry…” 

“What did you say?” 

“Yggy’s sorry!” She repeated louder, bowing her head but not by much.

Mare looked at her and smiled, raising his hand to dry himself off with wind magic. “It’s okay.” 

Good, at least he wasn’t upset, not that I expected him to be. Her prank was harmless. 

“Try not to make the same mistake.” I added, keeping my stern gaze on her, earning a quick nod along with that cute pout of hers. 

“Now then, would you like to accompany me back inside the Tomb?” I asked the little girl who quickly brightened up and rushed over to me. 

I realized what she was gonna do and opened my arms as her feet left the ground and her body slammed into mine.

“Of course, Papa!” 

Ah yes…another one. 

“Then let’s go.” I smiled, shifting her so she was clinging to my side as I carried her with my arm resting just under her rear. I looked back at Mare and waved and Yggy did as well. The boy returned our wave and we made our way down into the Tomb once more. 

“You should know better than that.” I said as we entered Nazarick. 

“Mmm, Yggy just wanted to surprise you, Papa.” She lowered her head against my shoulder as her lip quivered.

“I know, and I’m glad to see you as well, but you can’t interrupt someone's work.” 

“Okay, Papa.” She nodded in defeat. I didn’t want to make the girl sad, but I needed to establish those boundaries. I know her pranks would be really funny to see in the future, but not when someone was doing something important. 

“How about we head down to the Sixth Floor and meet up with your mothers?” I offered, hoping to cheer her up, and the way her face lit up, I knew it worked. 

“Mmm!” She beamed, cheering up immediately.

I used the ring of Hell’s Paradise to teleport us to the arena and found Touch Me, his family, Aura, and Buku in the stands.

“Hey, Kakuei!” Touch Me shouted down, and Yggy and I gave the group a wave. With one powerful leap, I reached the stands, a few rows beneath them and slowly walked up to their row.

“How’s it coming along, everyone?” I asked with a small smile. 

“It’s…coming.” Saeko admitted with a smile of her own. “Everything is so different.”

“It is, but we’ll have to get used to it, isn’t that right, Sayuri?” I asked with a grin, getting one from the young girl who’s body had quickly matured into a teenager thanks to the World Change. 

“Mmm! Everything’s so cool here, and I have powers!” She practically vibrated with excitement.

“Oh, did I miss something?” I asked with unhidden interest.

“We had tested our abilities out a bit with Aura.” Touch Me shrugged, and a part of me didn’t like that, and my face showed that dislike with a frown. 

“Are you alright, Aura?” I asked with a bit of concern in my tone. She looked surprised by the question before rubbing the back of her head sheepish. “Yes, Lord Kakuei, I’m not hurt or anything, haha.” 

“Oh, is that the face of a concerned parent I see on you?” Touch Me teased, standing up and throwing his arm around my shoulder. “Aura is fine, I didn’t actually test anything, but Saeko and Sayuri did.” 

Ah, that makes things much better. 

Saeko and Sayuri being the low levels they are means they couldn’t bring Aura and lasting damage, not until they were at least level 80, and even then I’m sure she’d tank their hits with relative ease. 

“You should have said that sooner.” I breathed out, glancing at Aura and smiling at her, and she returned it after a moment of surprise.

“Papa, can I test my Skills too?!” Yggy asked with unhidden excitement, and I briefly glanced at Aura again.

“Not on Aura, I’ll summon an elemental for you later, okay?” I offered and she kicked her legs in joy.

“Mmm! Yggy’s gonna show you how strong she is, Papa!” 

“I look forward to it.” I chuckled, and Touch Me and Saeko joined along in it. 

“Oh, before I forget, Nishi wanted to talk to you whenever you’re free.” Touch Me informed me, and I nodded. Placing Yggy down, much to her disappointment. 

“I’m free now, I’ll go pay him a visit.” I pat the green-haired girl’s head. “Behave.” 

“Okay, Papa.” She nodded, and Saeko wasted no time pulling the little girl into an embrace, and Yggy tried to fight her way free without hurting her. 

“She’s adorable!” 

“That she is.” Touch Me rubbed his hand in her hair, making her relax in the woman’s grip.

“Aura, would you like to accompany me?” I asked, and Aura shot up like a bullet.

“Of course!” 

I chuckled and waved to the family, leaving Yggy to her fate. She could consider this her punishment for earlier. 

As Aura and I walked through the halls of the Sixth Floor, I considered what Nishi wanted, but honestly knowing the guy, he likely just wanted us to begin assimilating ourselves with the world we found ourselves in. 

He’s a ninja, and he’d likely offer to go out and scout around to learn just what this world had to offer.

I wouldn’t deny him, as I’m just as curious, if not moreso, but I wouldn’t risk him going alone.

No, the best bet for Nazarick is to divide our forces into different lands or countries, if they even have countries here, and begin collecting knowledge that we can store and use for later.

I paused in my step as I imagined for a second that there was a chance this world housed people even stronger than us.

Such a thing…what would we do if that was the case?

I shook my head. The chances of such a thing were low, after all we’re the same Supreme Beings that dominated thousands of other players, and lore wise I killed a dragon that consumed entire planets and gained his abilities and power-

There’s no way there are beings even stronger than us…right? 

— Rimuru —

“Everything is coming along wonderfully, Lady Rimuru.” Rigurd, the former Village Elder of the Goblins announced with a bow.

“Great!” Rimuru jumped up, her Slime body plopping back on the ground. 

It had been ten months since Megumi Mikami had reincarnated in this world as a slime. Since then, she absorbed a bunch of plants, met a cool ass True Dragon, ate him, and took over a Goblin Village, and domesticated some puppies-

Wow, that sounded a lot more evil when she thought about it…

Well, to put it in friendlier terms, she spent time collecting plants and rocks because she was bored and had nothing to do, then she met a True Dragon by the name of Veldora. They became good friends and Veldora gave her a name, Rimuru, while she chose the surname: Tempest. 

So now, she was Rimuru Tempest, a simple Slime that met some Goblins and aided them in their fight against a pack of Dire Wolves, and after doing so, earned their respect and subordination. From there, she named all of the Goblins and Wolves, making them all stronger and giving her a number of powerful subjects to look after.

And life was great! 

The rundown Goblin Village she had first stumbled on was no more, and instead it was replaced by a well crafted settlement, and soon with the help of the Dwarves and Goblin workers, this settlement would advance to that of a well designed village! 

It was like playing a kingdom building game, but in real life! 

Of course, she knew things weren’t gonna remain smooth sailing forever. After all they’re a growing settlement full of monsters, and monsters are the enemies of humans, meaning sooner or later a party of adventurers would likely come to threaten the peace they had built here. 

Kaijin, the skilled Dwarven blacksmith formally from Dwargon had said that she needn’t worry about such things, when the humans saw that they weren’t a threat, they’d leave them be-

But Rimuru wasn’t so sure about that. 

She was usually optimistic about these things, but they’d spent a long few months in peace, and she could practically feel something brewing in the near future. Of course she had no plans of doing anything about it, the most they could do was prepare for the worst, but Rimuru hoped with all her heart that nothing bad would happen and that things would end peacefully.

Peace, that was all she wanted. 

To live her second life in peace while making a thriving community full of monsters!

What cruel being would wish to stop her from doing that?! 

She didn’t know, and she hoped she’d never meet them. 

— Chapter End —

Beta reader: @Basilisk and @Dragonboy1

Author’s Note: We’re actually gonna start getting into the real meat and grind of Tensura going forward. I just wanted to take a few chapters to establish Kakuei’s immediate relationships along with his new family and abilities.

Also, named Rimuru’s human form Megumi like Momonga because in the canon, both Rimuru and Ainz have the same human first name, Satoru.