To Walk the Whole Way 4 (Patreon)

Itsuka popped out to the front of the store, and came back a moment later looking incredibly pale, “Joker.”

“Which one?” I asked.

Yes, this version of Gotham was such a shit hole that there were multiple Jokers. Three that were currently active, and the original one that hadn’t been seen in nearly thirty years. Of the three active, the one that was the least likely to kill you randomly was the oldest and best fit the classic Joker from the comics in my first life. His skin was bleached and he used a variety of clown and carnival themed gimmick tools. The middle one was a dead ringer for the Heath Ledger version, with greasepaint and heavy use of guns, rockets, and other more mundane weapons. The last one…

The most recent Joker wasn’t human, and I mean that literally. From what I’d pieced together from the people in my apartment building with certain contacts, the newest Joker was a minor demon that had formed from the ambient fear and dread that the Joker inspired. Yeah, the self proclaimed Clown Prince of Crime was so feared that it birthed a full blown demon. It couldn’t manifest on its own, instead finding some soulless body to inhabit. Its current vessel was a woman who was probably dead when it possessed her.

“The demon one,” Itsuka answered. “It seems to be looking for something.”

“Leave demon to Uncle,” Uncle said calmly as he walked past Itsuka and I, holding onto his mummified lizard and pufferfish.

Itsuka and I exchanged a nervous glance before following Uncle out onto the street. The demon Joker was wreaking havoc on the city, causing chaos and destruction wherever it went. We could hear its maniacal laughter echoing through the streets, and the sound sent chills down my spine.

Uncle led us down a dark alleyway, his eyes fixed on some unseen target. We followed him in silence, the only sound coming from our footsteps on the pavement. Suddenly, Uncle stopped and turned to face us.

“Be silent while Uncle banishes demon. Uncle must have fu-ull concentration,” he said before stepping out of the alleyway. “Aiya! Stinky Demon want a piece of Uncle?”

Itsuka and I peeked out from the alleyway and saw the demon Joker standing at the end of the street, its grotesque smile stretching from ear to ear. It was surrounded by a group of terrified civilians who were cowering in fear.

Uncle walked towards the demon Joker, his mummified lizard and pufferfish held tightly in his hands. The demon Joker let out a screech and charged towards Uncle, its claws extended. Uncle remained calm and collected, his eyes closed as he muttered an incantation under his breath. The air around him began to shimmer and distort, and a bright green light enveloped him.

“Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zhao. Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zhao. Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zhao,” he chanted, waving the lizard back and forth while pointing the face of the pufferfish at the demon Joker.

The demon Joker’s malevolent eyes widened, before it turned around and started flying away, prompting Uncle to shout, “Where Stinky Demon think it going? Uncle has chi spell for it!”

A beam of green energy shot from his pufferfish, hitting the demon Joker in the back. The demon let out an ear piercing shriek, its body convulsing as it was consumed by the spell. Itsuka and I watched, jaws dropping to the floor, as the demon Joker writhed before a dark mist shot out of it. The spell cut out, and the body fell to the ground.

Uncle walked up to the still body and poked it with his pufferfish before he turned back to us, his face beaming with pride.

"Demon gone. Uncle save Gotham again," he said as he walked past us, adjusting his orange vest.

Itsuka and I exchanged a look of disbelief before following him back to the store. As we walked, I couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. If a demon could be birthed from the fear and chaos caused by the Joker, what other horrors lurked in the shadows of Gotham? And more importantly, that felt too easy.

When we got back, there was a really fancy car parked outside Uncle’s shop. I sighed, I had a feeling that we were going to have to wait a lot longer before Uncle would be able to finish helping us find Bart. Uncle grumbled, pushing the sleeves of his white polo shirt up as he walked inside.

“We are closed for the day! Come back tomorrow during business hours, Pretty Lady-y!” Itsuka and I heard Uncle shout. Itsuka and I shared a glance before entering the shop to see an asian woman, who looked to be in her early-mid twenties, in a black dress with red trims with black opera gloves that went to her elbows, looking around, seemingly unimpressed with Uncle.

“My father wishes to hire you for a consultation,” the woman said calmly. “You need not turn your chi magic on me.”

Immediately, Uncle’s aggressive demeanor changed. He lowered his lizard and pufferfish, and adopted a smile on his face as he asked, “Why didn’t you say so? Let Uncle finish helping Itsuka and Peter, then we may schedule consultation. What sort of antique do you want Uncle’s expert opinion on?”

The still unnamed woman, who for some reason seemed achingly familiar, reached into her purse and pulled out a picture, handing it to Uncle. He took one look at the picture, and his eyes widened behind his glasses.

“AIYA! Keep that sword locked away! It too dangerous to be touched!” he shouted, throwing the picture back to the woman.

I managed to get a glimpse of it before the woman caught the picture and returned it to her purse; not a good look, just enough to note a white handle and gold-orange guard.

“I see that your reputation is not exaggerated,” the woman said, taking a business card from her purse and placing it on the front counter. “My father will contact you tomorrow to schedule the consultation.”

She walked past us, her eyes examining us without slowing her stride. Against my better judgment, my eyes found themselves locked on her rear, her dress hugging her curves as she walked out the door. Shaking my head, I turned and followed Uncle into the back, taking a quick glance at the business card: Oroku Industries.

Oroku? As in… Oroku Saki, the Shredder? I set that thought aside, I’d deal with it later, because in all reality, how likely was it that this world had elements of DC, Marvel, Jackie Chan, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in it?

Walking into the back, I ignored the artifacts that my power was labeling, instead focusing on Uncle as he pulled out a few tomes. The only one that received more than a passing glance was a glass box with so many paper charms on it I could barely see the gold amulet inside.

[quote]Cursed Artifact: Muur Talisman[/quote]

As Uncle flipped through his book, I returned to the one I’d been reading before the debacle with the demon Joker. Moving onto the next flower described, I occasionally glanced up at the glass box covered in paper charms.

“Uncle,” I began hesitantly. “I don’t suppose you’d be opposed to that being encircled in salt and burning some sage? Maybe sealed in concrete?”

Uncle looked up from where he was adding a myriad of weird ingredients to a metal cauldron. I nodded towards the item that kept drawing my attention, and Uncle looked at it before turning his gaze back to me.

“No need, charms and wards strong enough to repel Nabu. Would take major demon lord to break them. At which point, fact that major demon lord in shop much more important problem,” Uncle answered.

I shuddered at the thought of a major demon lord walking into the shop, but Uncle seemed unfazed. He went back to his cauldron, muttering under his breath as he stirred the concoction.

Itsuka came up beside me, her eyes fixed on the Muur Talisman. “What’s the story with that one?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Uncle stopped stirring and turned to us, his eyes serious. “Muur Talisman cursed artifact. Brings bad luck, misfortune, and good chance of draining the soul of whoever possesses it. Not something to be taken lightly,” he said.

I couldn't help but feel a sense of dread. If Uncle was taking the Muur Talisman seriously, then it must be something truly dangerous. I made a mental note to stay far away from it, and any other cursed artifacts that might be lurking in the shop.

“Everything in this shop can fucking end the world,” I muttered under my breath. “God help us all, of course he lives in Gotham.”

Itsuka laughed nervously, but I could tell she was just as uneasy as I was. We stood there for a few moments in silence, watching Uncle stir his cauldron, before the sound of the bell ringing at the front of the shop broke the quiet.

“Aiya!” Uncle shouted. “Cannot stop chi spell now, at ve-ry delicate stage! Go send pesky person away! Tell them shop is closed.”

Any excuse to get away from crazy dangerous artifacts was good in my book, so I hurried to the front, maneuvering around a large casket that had a bell with a stylized ‘M’ engraving sitting on top of it. I came out front to see an asian man, late thirties or early forties, with short, black hair in tan canvas pants and a blue t-shirt.

“Oh, hello. Who are you?” the man asked, a hint of an accent in his voice.

“Peter, I was asked to inform you the shop’s closed,” I told him.

“Oh, hey Jackie,” Itsuka said as she came out from the back.

“Hello, Itsuka. I assume Uncle’s in the back?” the now named Jackie asked.

I let Itsuka take over, realizing that this was certainly the version of Jackie Chan from the same cartoon as Uncle. Which meant that he very much was someone I did not want to fuck with. At all. No matter how pleasant a person he normally was.

As Itsuka and Jackie chatted, I couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. Something was off about all of this. The woman from Oroku Industries, the cursed artifacts in the shop, Jackie Chan's sudden appearance. It all felt like pieces of a puzzle that I couldn't quite put together.

I decided to take a closer look at the business card the woman had left behind. Oroku Industries. It sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. I pulled out my phone and did a quick LexTrawl search.

By and large, the company appeared to more or less be on the up and up. It was founded in the aftermath of World War II by Oroku Harada, the father of the current owner and CEO Oroku Saki, and had a hand in damn near everything. I couldn’t find any scandals linked to them, not even a single reference to a bribe. But if my suspicions were completely off the mark, they couldn’t be that big without having some skeletons in the closet, possibly literally.

Shaking the thought off, I picked up the card and slipped it into my pocket, deciding to do some research of my own later. Just in time too, as Uncle let out a loud, “Hot-cha!”

Heading into the back, Itsuka and I moved up to where Uncle stood above his cauldron with a satisfied grin on his face.

“Successful spell, Uncle?” I asked.

“Very successful, yes. Will imbue spell into an amulet, you may use to find Foolish Boy!” he declared, pulling a small piece of rock from a pocket and dipping it into the mixture in the cauldron.

“How’s it work?” Itsuka asked as Uncle tied a length of string around the rock. The rock lifted into the air, pointing in what seemed like a random direction.

“Follow pebble, will point towards Foolish Boy like compass. But be careful, more dark chi in Gotham than normal. Jackie-e! Where have you been?”

Itsuka and I left as Uncle started berating Jackie over something or another. I kept my hands in my pockets as we walked out the door, my shoulders feeling heavy as the two of us followed where Uncle’s spell-rock was pointing. I felt bad for it, but with Bart having been amped up on whatever super-juice he was on…

I shook my head, refocusing on the here and now. We’d find Bart, knock some sense into him, and then hopefully we’d be able to put all of this behind us. I didn’t want to get involved with the superhuman scene if I didn’t have to, that shit got way too crazy for my liking.

As we walked through the dark, winding streets of Gotham, I couldn't help but feel like we were being watched. Every shadow seemed to hold a threat, every sound made me jump. Itsuka seemed to be feeling the same way, her hands tensing and growing ever so slightly. I wondered if Uncle had any wards or spells that could protect us from whatever was lurking in the darkness, and if we should have asked for some before we left. Too late now though.

We turned a corner, following the direction of the spell-rock, and found ourselves in front of an abandoned warehouse. Itsuka and I exchanged a look, both of us feeling a sense of dread. I took a step forward, the spell-rock pulling me towards the entrance of the warehouse. Itsuka followed close behind as we stepped inside, our footsteps echoing through the empty space.

The warehouse was dark, the only light coming from a few flickering bulbs hanging from the ceiling. We moved cautiously, our eyes scanning the shadows for any sign of Bart.

As we reached the center of the warehouse, the spell-rock suddenly dropped to the ground, the string snapping as it hit the concrete floor. Itsuka and I looked around, trying to figure out what had happened.

There was a brief rush of wind behind me, and I turned around to see Bart, his skin having taken on a slightly greenish tint even as he held Itsuka up off the ground with a single hand around her neck.

“Hey there, Pete,” Bart said, his voice sounding ever so slightly choppy. “I thought I warned you to stay away from me, to stay out of my business.”

I didn’t answer, simply slipping into a stance even as Itsuka’s enlarged fists slammed into his head to no effect. After a moment, Bart threw Itsuka to the side, the movement oddly stiff, her body flying with such force that she was knocked through the wall of the warehouse. Bart raised his arms up in his own stance, fists ready and held out in front of him, bouncing on the balls of his feet.