Venom/Invincible 2 (Patreon)

The final verdict wasn’t up to him, but Robot liked what he’d seen so far. His prior work with the Teen Team had resulted in the members scoring higher in nearly every field than the multitude of independent heroes that had applied. Most likely the core of the new Guardians of the Globe will be the former Teen Team, supplemented by a few of the more promising independents.

His sensors detected the arrival of Director Stedman, along with an unknown individual, so Robot turned around to face the newcomers, “Greetings Director, tryouts for the new Guardians are proceeding as expected.”

“Good,” the older man said flatly, as Robot took in his companions. White, almost triangular eyes on an otherwise featureless, black bodysuit, but Robot’s sensors registered the surprising detail that the suit itself was alive. Interesting.

“I am sorry, I do not believe we have met,” Robot said, approaching the Director’s companion, “I am called Robot.”

“Nobody,” the unknown introduced himself, his voice with a strange, almost double-reverb to it. Like it was two people speaking in unison. He shook Robot’s hand before Director Stedman spoke up.

“Nobody will be joining the new Guardians of the Globe. He’s been undergoing rigorous and extensive training with the GDA the last few months, so he’s more than up to the task. He’ll also be reporting to GDA Headquarters at least twice a month at prescheduled intervals.”

“I possess unusual dietary requirements, the GDA has been making sure my physiological needs are met.”

“Understood, though if I may, I believe that having Nobody join without going through the tryouts would be a hindrance to team cohesion,” Robot felt the need to point out. “Some may feel that he has not earned his place on the team, which would have a negative impact on teamwork and morale.”

Director Stedman hummed in consideration, while Nobody moved up to the observation deck to watch the current tryout with Shrinking Rae and Ape-Lad. Finally, after a few moments, Director Stedman spoke up.

“You make a good point. Alright, Nobody has a tryout. But just to make sure that there’s no questioning his capability, it will be Nobody against three other applicants. After he wins, I don’t want to hear any complaints about his joining.”

Nobody just held his head with one hand as Director Stedman walked off, the other applicants all turning to look at the black-clad hero.

“Why do you hate me, Director?” Nobody mumbled under his breath, Robot only hearing due to his close proximity.

Within three minutes, Nobody was in the tryout arena alongside Rex Splode, Black Sampson, and Lightning Lass. Nobody was standing at parade rest, even as his fellow heroes readied themselves. In the end, Rex made the first move, grabbing one of his batons and rapidly chagrin it before throwing it at Nobody.

For his part, Nobody twisted his torso, arms and feet not leaving their parade rest position as he nonchalantly dodged Rex’s attack. The unblinking white eyes on Nobody’s face seemed to lock onto Rex Splode, and even from the monitor room Robot could tell that it was a very intimidating look. To Rex’s credit, he didn’t let it unsettle him, instead pulling out a multitude of disks from his belt and throwing them at Nobody at the same time as Lightning Lass sent a bolt of electricity and Black Samson took to the air.

Nobody leapt over the wave of explosives Rex threw, spinning around the bolt Lightning Lass generated, before twisting his body around to throw a kick at Black Samson. The older hero adjusted his flight path, barely managing to dodge the black-clad foot as Nobody fell back to Earth from his jump, landing behind Rex Splode and Lightning Lass.

“Is that it?” Nobody asked curiously, his head cocked to the side as he resumed parade rest.

“No, it’s not ‘it’,” Rex snarled, grabbing a baton in each hand and racing at Nobody as Lightning Lass attempted to provide covering fire.

If he could, Robot would have sighed in disappointment. While Nobody possessed quite admirable physical enhancements, the tactics on display showcased the largest problem in the current match up. Nobody was apparently experienced in fighting multiple opponents and was maneuvering himself so that they couldn’t bring their full capabilities to bear on him at once. On top of that, it was apparent that he’d discovered a psychological weakness to exploit in Rex’s pride and anger and was taking full advantage of it.

“I’m just saying, a run through GDA boot camp would do you wonders, hell less than a year ago any high school jock could have kicked my ass, and now look at me!”

Alternatively it was possible that Nobody was trying to be helpful and unintentionally pushing Rex’s buttons. Robot wasn’t sure which.

“SHUT UP AND FIGHT BACK DAMN YOU!” Rex shouted as Nobody again dodged the teen’s attacks, barely having left parade rest the entire time.

“Alright,” Nobody said, almost cheerfully, before jumping up and over a bolt Lightning Lass had sent.

The blast missed its intended target, and instead hit Rex Splode, causing the batons he’d been holding to detonate, sending him flying back to land in a heap. Nobody landed in front of Lightning Lass and dropped down low, his leg sweeping out to knock her feet out from under her. Lightning Lass went down with a shocked cry, only for Nobody’s leg to hook around her and send her flying towards where Rex lay in a smoking, moaning heap.

“And then there was one.”

“Impressive work, but was the parade rest really necessary? You do realize how insulting that was, right?” Black Samson asked, finally able to approach Nobody now that electric bolts and explosives weren’t being thrown every which way.

“I graduated high school not too long ago, of course I know. But a little humble pie will do the kids some good. Better here than in the streets with someone who wants them dead, or worse.”

Black Samson gave a considering nod, before licking off the ground and rocketing towards Nobody. For the first time, Nobody slipped out of his nonchalant parade rest, his arms coming up to redirect Black Samson’s jab before launching a left hook. Black Samson ducked under the hook, but Nobody used the momentum of his twisting hips to bring his leg up in a spinning kick.

Black Samson’s armor was more than up to the task, but he was still sent flying. Before he hit the ground though, the rockets in his armor kicked in, turning his knockback into a controlled flight. The two watch each other, taking the other’s measure and planning out their next moves in their heads.

This time, it was Nobody that acted first, stomping the floor hard enough to drive his foot through the metal plating. Snapping his leg, Nobody ripped the metal sheet out of the floor and sent the warped plate through the air at Black Samson. The experienced hero avoided it, lifting up his arm and sending a barrage of energy pulses at Nobody.

Nobody ducked and weaved around the blasts, running towards Black Samson. The latter rose up into the air, rocket boots kicking into overdrive, before Nobody leapt up and grabbed Black Samson by the boot. With nary a sound, Nobody pulled the older hero down to the ground before bringing his foot down in a stomp.

Black Samson barely rolled aside, avoiding the stomp and rolling to his feet. Arms up in a guard position, Black Samson and Nobody circled each other, eyeing the other’s stance and body language. Finally, Black Samson relaxed, “You’re good, Kid. If we kept it up I’m sure you’d eventually get me.”

Marginally relaxing, Nobody nodded, “Thank you, but you’ll pardon me if I don’t completely relax just yet. I’ve had trainers say a match was over only to put me on my ass when I dropped my guard.”

“Ha! Sounds like GDA trainers alright. Come on, let’s get these two back upstairs.”

Only when Black Samson completely turned away did Nobody relax, moving to help Lightning Lass and Rex Splode to their feet. Rex, predictably, dismissed Nobody’s offered hand and stormed away, most likely cursing under his breath.

Robot watched from above, considering the match. Nobody was highly trained, and appeared to favor leg based strikes as opposed to the punches and grapples more common amongst those with enhanced strength. On the matter of Nobody’s physical capabilities, while he showed enhanced strength, he seemed to have every aspect of his physicality enhanced to similar levels. His strength wasn’t comparable to Omniman or the Immortal, but with his all round generalist build he’d be a valuable hero just on that basis alone.

That was without taking his GDA training into account, even if one assumed it was purely combative training that he went through which seemed unlikely. Most curious was how Director Stedman stated unequivocally that Nobody would be a member of the new Guardians of the Globe roster. It seemed unlikely that the GDA would feel the need to send an agent to keep an eye on them, as the earlier talks Robot had been having with the GDA would see them located in the old Guardians Headquarters.

While Robot supposed that it was possible that Nobody was a plant to serve as an obvious observer to distract from the various other means of observation, such a scheme seemed needlessly complicated. The more probable scenario was that rather than Nobody joining the Guardians to observe them, he was being assigned to the Guardians so that he was in an easily observable location.

Curious, if true. What about Nobody warranted the GDA keeping a close eye on him?

[hr][/hr]

Three days later and I was back at the Teen Team base. The new Guardians of the Globe were going to consist of myself, Robot, the black guy in bronze/brass colored armor, a girl that turned into a magic-powered Hulk, the poor-man’s Gambit, an asian girl that could fulfill every man’s dream of multiple partners, and a girl who could shrink. I really needed to remember their names.

“As soon as the forensic investigation is completed, we’ll be moving into the Guardians Headquarters. Until then, we’ll be training here,” Robot said as he handed out schedules and timetables. Don’t know why, but Robot struck me as a he. “Breakfast is at 6 AM, then close in combat exercises until lunch. Where is Kate Prime?”

I blinked behind the suit before glancing at the asian girl’s chest, seeing the number two on it. Right, no clue how that worked, but somehow the number on her chest changed regarding however many of her there were.

“Just to make it clear,” budget Gambit began. “There is no universe in which I wake up at 6 AM, and the world isn’t on fire.” He held up the schedule he’d been given and turned it into ash, making the suit squirm over my skin. The suit really didn’t like fire, but I was mostly able to keep it from causing visible reactions whenever it was near moderate or smaller sources of fire.

“You think that’s bad?” I asked rhetorically. “Imagine being kicked out of bed at four thirty in the morning and having to wait an hour for access to the shower.”

“Shut it Odie, no one cares about GDA boot camp,” he snapped, making me blink in surprise. That was actually a rather clever nickname.

“‘Odie’?” shrinking girl asked in confusion while black Iron Man gave not!Gambit his own impressed look.

“A reference to Homer’s Odyssey, at one point in the story the protagonist Odysseus says his name is Nobody to fool a giant. Shortly after, when he blinded the giant, when his fellows asked who blinded him, all the giant could tell them was ‘nobody.’”

“Didn’t take you for being a fan of classical literature,” black Iron Man said.

“Why is that so surprising? Besides, we don’t need this boot camp bullshit Robot, it’s us,” the surprisingly well-read douche griped.

“We’re not on the Teen Team anymore,” Robot pointed out.

“Exactly,” black Iron Man agreed. “I’m sure you’ve had a lot of experience wrangling teenagers, but I was with the Guardians from day one.”

“Wow, thanks Dad. Maybe if you didn’t lose your powers, you would have been there to help the Guardians on their last day.”

As someone who was stuck remembering dying, I can definitely say that was a dick move on budget Gambit’s part. Black Iron Man agreed, as he moved up and leaned down before speaking in a frigid tone, “I don’t know you yet. So I’m going to assume that was a joke and I don’t need to beat your ass until all you wanna do is call me ‘dad’ again.”

… I was halfway across the room, but even I could feel that burn. No one spoke as black Iron Man straightened and began speaking to Robot specifically, “I don’t know you either, but we need a leader we can look in the eye, not a bunch of ones and zeroes. No offense.”

“That’s actually super offensive, so…” multiplication asian started before pausing. “Wait, you think you should be in charge?”

“I am the most experienced.”

“Yeah, at losing your powers,” splody-boy quipped as he stood up. “Didn’t I crack that joke already? Why are we even putting up with this guy? He wears a suit, it takes batteries.”

“And yet, he was more challenging than you were,” I pointed out, smirking smugly under the suit. The subject of my mockery world around and leaned in, trying to be intimidating. Fortunately, the suit’s mask remained expressionless so no one saw me rolling my eyes.

“Shut it Odie. The only reason you’re here is because the old man apparently doesn’t trust us so he thought we needed a babysitter. We already have that in Robot, and unlike you he doesn’t need to sleep!”

“I’m new to this team thing, but I thought it involved teamwork,” shrinking girl quipped.

“As did I,” Robot added.

“Call me when you figure it out, I’ll be in the gym.”

“Me too,” multiplication asian agreed, both girls walking off.

Budget Gambit and black Iron Man both left as well, leaving me with Robot and Little Miss Hulk. That could have gone better, but no one was dead or hospitalized, so it could have gone a hell of a lot worse too.

Standing up, I walked over to Robot, “Before we can get this new team working, we’ll have to settle on a leader. I know of a few GDA facilities with advanced hologram tech, I might be able to arrange use of one to run some simulations. That way we can see who arises to the role of leader without it being while lives are on the line.”

“That sounds like a good idea, Nobody. Thank you.”