Of Lordships & Dark Spirits 4 (Patreon)

Lee exhaled in frustration as he stared at the ruin that was his “new estate.” He had a month before he was expected to start hosting visitors, and if the estate he’d been given was to be anything close to ready it was going to take a miracle.

“So in summary, I have an estate that hasn’t seen human habitation in ten years but looks like it’s been twenty, no helpers, no local guides, not enough funds to repair half the shit that needs fixing, and, to top it all off, I have a month before I’m supposed to get married to a girl that I won’t meet until that very day. I’m completely and utterly fucked,” Lee said with a groan as he sat against the wall.

“Lord Lee? Have you arrived?” a strange, stilted voice asked from the front gates.

Standing, and calling Vaatu to his hands as he did, Lee made his way to the front gate to see a woman with a very creepy, frozen smile on her face in standard Earth Kingdom official robes.

“Who are you?” Lee asked, the woman setting him on edge.

“I am Joo Dee, I have been sent from Ba Sing Se to be your administrative assistant. Shall I give you a tour of your estate?” the woman, Joo Dee, asked, her voice even more stilted than an actress from Ember Island.

“… sure?”

“Wonderful. Please follow me.”

The tour was quite informative. Not about the estate, but in just how badly Lee needed to get rid of the crazy woman. It was like she was reading from a script, and didn’t even bother noticing that the estate was so run down it looked nothing like what she was describing. The “dance hall” had a giant hole in the floor that covered half the room!

THAT WOMAN GIVES ME THE CREEPS

‘Coming from a spirit of literal darkness, that says quite a lot,’ Lee quipped as he pitched a tent on the estate grounds.

I’VE CORRUPTED COUNTLESS SPIRITS OVER THE MILLENNIA, BUT I’VE NEVER ENCOUNTERED ANYTHING SO SOULLESS AS THIS JOO DEE. I’M GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES

‘Can ancient, primordial spirits even have nightmares?’

I ASSURE YOU, THEY CAN AFTER MEETING THAT WOMAN

Lee didn’t know whether to laugh or pity Vaatu, so he settled on taking some of the drier timbers and starting a cooking fire. He’d just gotten a tripod set up to start boiling water when he heard someone approaching. A glance up showed that his new visitor, Joo Dee having left, looked to be a few years younger than him, her feet bare and the way she moved showing that she was an earthbender.

“Who are you?” she asked, facing Lee as she slid into a stance.

Lee held up his hands, “I’m just staying the night, I was told this was the estate being given to the new lord of the southern province and wanted to see it.”

The girl stared at Lee for a minute before saying, “You’re not telling the full truth, but you’re not lying either. Either way, that doesn’t explain why you’re sleeping in a tent here instead of an inn.”

“I’m a guy that looks born and bred Fire Nation in the middle of what may very well be the most tumultuous province in the Earth Kingdom, do you really think I’d wake up in the morning if I did that?”

She was quiet, considering Lee’s words, before she relaxed out of her stance and walked over to him, “I guess I can’t argue that. What are you making?”

“I’ve got a pouch of rice, some dried broth, and some tomato-onions. Not exactly fancy, but it’ll do the job.”

She reached into a pouch and pulled out some jerky, it got added to the pot as the rice came closer to being done. As they waited for the food to finish, they talked. Lee left out the fact that he was assigned to be the new lord and that he had a spirit living inside his guan dao, but otherwise didn’t hold anything back. He told her about his time serving as a mercenary in the war, the things he’d seen and done.

She continually asked questions about his time traveling and fighting, and either consciously or otherwise avoided asking about his life before he became a merc. Lee didn’t ask many questions, merely a few about her earthbending. The idea of using one’s bending to simulate a physical sense, or lack thereof, was an inspired and amazing idea, and gave Lee several ideas about using firebending to sense heat. Were it not for his upcoming lordship he’d spend the next several weeks focusing on that.

While Lee didn’t ask many questions, that didn’t mean that she didn’t volunteer some information about her own life. From the ranting about her parents forcing her into a marriage with someone she’d never met, combined with the fact that she was blind, Lee had a sinking feeling that he was talking to his future bride.

That made things a bit awkward, and Lee wasn’t quite sure how to broach the fact that if he was right he was the “creepy old dipshit pervert” that she was ranting about. Fortunately (or unfortunately, Lee wasn’t sure which), she was too enveloped in her rather… inventive swears and curses to notice Lee’s awkwardness.

[hr][/hr]

Silver lining, Noriko was more than willing to move to the Southern Province to help him, so Lee would only have to put up with Joo Dee for another week. The downside was putting up with Joo Dee trying to explain why Mayor Tong of Chin Village felt they couldn’t pay their taxes this month.

Lee sighed and rubbed at his forehead. He’d had enough funds to hire a crew to start repairs on the estate, but he needed more in order to purchase the supplies for when they finished appraising the extent of the damages. In order to do that, he needed to collect taxes from the different regions. But, apparently, a rush of “bandits” in the wilds by the main roads were attacking any of the tax caravans while leaving literally everyone else alone. Did they really think so little of his intelligence?

‘Is this what it feels like when grandfather screamed about being surrounded by idiots?’ Lee idly wondered.

IF SO, YOUR GRANDFATHER HAS MY SYMPATHIES. I WISH I COULD HAVE SEEN HIM SUFFER SO

“That’s enough Joo Dee,” Lee said, cutting off the puppet-like woman. “I’ll deal with the matter personally.”

“But Lord Lee, you do not have the time to travel to every part of the province to collect the taxes,” Joo Dee pointed out.

“I don’t have to. Send a message to the other lords, tell them that I will deal with the bandits plaguing Chin Village. Should it become necessary, I will do the same in other parts of the province.”

“Wonderful! It will be done my lord.”

One of the perks of going bandit hunting would be getting away from her. He’d left enough instructions for Noriko to let her get started when she got here, so hopefully she’d have chased the creepy woman away by the time he returned.

Chin Village was relatively close to the estate; he'd stop by Gaoling on the way for supplies and check in with Lao Beifong. That would also let him figure out if his suspicion about his visitor the other night was correct. If it were… he’d figure it out when he crossed that bridge.

A RECURRING PLAN FOR YOU, REMIND ME HOW MANY TIMES IT HAS BITTEN YOU IN THE ASS?

‘Remind me how many times it’s gotten us out of a bad situation?’

… ALRIGHT, I’LL GIVE YOU THAT ONE

‘But on more important matters, how do you feel about using these “bandits” to flex your power a bit more than usual?’

ARE YOU SUGGESTING… WHAT I THINK YOU’RE SUGGESTING?

‘I need to send a message to the other nobles, I can’t let this kind of thing pass so early into my rule. Much as I dislike it, I need them to be too afraid to mess with me like this. At the moment, there’s no respect, no fear, just hate. I can earn their respect later, right now I need to break their hate.’

GOOD. THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN

[hr][/hr]

Well, it turns out that Toph, his fiancee, wasn't in Gaoling when he passed through to get some supplies. Seeing as her mother wasn’t either, Lee figured it was just coincidence rather than trying to keep him from meeting her until the wedding day.

The trip to Chin Village passed uneventfully. Especially when he rode through the area that the bandits supposedly attacked and there was no indicator that anything had happened there for months. Disappointing, but unsurprising.

Meeting with Mayor Tong was… aggravating. The man took far too long to realize who Lee was, and his denials were just painful to listen to.

‘“I swear My-New-Lord-Lee, I wasn’t trying to commit tax evasion, I just didn’t think you’d have the stones to come out here yourself. I thought you’d do what every Earth Kingdom noble does and send out some soldiers, who I’d then be able to bribe because they’re Earth Kingdom and you were a Fire Nation soldier.” For Agi’s sake, how did someone so slimy end up in charge?’ Lee thought to himself as he led the caravan containing the village’s taxes after two days of taking the time to actually gather the amount owed.

I COULD HAVE CORRUPTED HIM, TURN HIS SOUL INTO A DARK SPIRIT TO INHABIT THE EMPTY SHELL HE CALLED A BODY

‘Do you really want to have to touch him?’

YOU MAKE A VERY COMPELLING ARGUMENT

Lee rolled his eyes, before pausing and holding up a hand, the caravan coming to a stop.

“Lord Lee?” the man at the reins of the wagon leading the caravan asked as Lee dismounted his ostrich-horse, calling Vaatu to his hands.

“Well, well, if it isn’t the Fire Nation snot dat dinks he’s a fancy noble lord,” a voice with a comically bad accent called out from the side of the road. Lee looked around, six men stepping out, their postures and stances suggesting they were all earthbenders. The one in front had a pair of short hafted metal mauls, and was the only one with weapons.

Rolling his neck, Lee asked, “Is this really the best you could muster on short notice?”

The ‘bandits’ seemed puzzled, and one asked (in an equally bad fake accent as the previous), “Whu chu mean by dat?”

“I mean look at you! Six of you against a spirit-touched firebender, with a Spirit Blade. It’s almost as if your boss sent you to die.”

“Oi, I’m da boss ‘here!”

“And stop with those accents! I swear to Agni, even the Ember Island actors can do better accents than that!”

The earthbenders all looked at each other in confusion, one leaning to the one next to him and asking, “Is that bad?”

“I don’t know,” the asked earthbender responded.

“Great,” Lee stage muttered as he stepped away from the caravan, not wanting the taxes to be caught in the crossfire. “I’m being attacked by a bunch of big, stupid, uncultured toughs.”

“Hey! You take that back or I’ll kill you!” one of the earthbenders shouted.

“Alright, you’re not tough.”

“That’s better.”

Lee, along with most of the people present, looked at the intellectually challenged earthbender with a mix of disappointment and exasperation. Lee turned to the leader of the earthbenders and asked, “Why do you keep him around?”

“He’s the best cook among us.”

“Hey! You called me stupid! Imma kill you!”

AND HE FINALLY GETS IT

Not bothering with any more words, Lee thrust with Vaatu at the leader and idiot, sending a blast of fire at them. The rest of the earthbenders all sent rocks at Lee while his targets raised rock walls in defense. Ducking down under the first two rock blasts, Lee leapt up into the air, utilizing one of the gifts Vaatu had given him to jump off the third boulder sent at him to reach a good twenty feet in the air. Bringing Vaatu back, he threw it at the leader like a javelin, the spirit’s voice screaming in bloodlust echoing in Lee’s mind.

The leader’s eyes barely had time to widen in shock before his chest was pierced by the crystalline blade. The sheer force drove him into the ground, his cries of pain echoing through the wood as Lee came down to land behind the idiot. Lee’s feet kicked back, wreathed in flame as he supported himself on his hands and drove his heels into the back of the idiot’s knees, the snapping of bone and tendon overshadowing the sizzle of burning meat.

The leader’s cries took on a panicked note, as Lee spun his body around to avoid the falling idiot. Lee didn’t look, too focused on the four remaining earthbenders, but he knew what was happening. The crackle of flesh burning and sizzle of hair crumbling as his head was burned from the inside out.

Easily coming to his feet, Lee focused and reached out with his hand, fingers curled in like a claw, before yanking his arm back to his body. Flame, having formed behind one of the earthbenders, rushed towards him, the heat intense enough to flash boil sweat into steam, making the third earthbender cry out as he fell to the ground in agony.

As quickly as he’d dealt with half the earthbenders, Lee leapt back as two angled pillars of rock shot out of the road seeking to crush him between them. Three left, all of them on guard albeit demoralized. Taking a deep breath, Lee’s eyes danced between the three remaining targets, while taking into account the location of the caravan. Two were on one side of the road with the third on the other. If he took out the one, he’d have two taking pot shots while if he went for the two he’d be caught in a crossfire.

Fortunately, they were still underestimating him. Although what he was planning wasn’t something he’d be able to do without having met Vaatu. Taking a breath, he tapped into the fragment of Vaatu’s power within him and flickered. To everyone else, he was standing in a ready stance, while in reality he had passed through the space between the mortal and spirit worlds, now standing behind the furthest earthbender, Vaatu in hand. Exhaling, he utilized a second trick he’d figured out with that bit of Vaatu’s essence, plunging everywhere within sixty feet of him in total darkness.

He could still see, and that made the clean up pitifully easy. Running the earthbender he stood behind through with Vaatu, letting the spirit do to him what it did to the leader, Lee dashed the five feet to the next earthbender. With a quick twist, he snapped the earthbender’s neck, before racing over to the last one and doing the same to him.

Letting the adrenaline fade, Lee took a minute to compose himself as the unnatural darkness faded. Calling Vaatu back to his hand, Lee ignored the stares as he placed the crystalline blade against each body, letting it burn away the flesh on and within the skull for each and every one of the earthbenders that attacked. There were going to be questions, but Lee figured this would serve as a gruesome enough deterrent for now to keep the other nobles from attempting more tax evasion.