Mister Bottle (Patreon)

Wondrous item, legendary

The sound of sloshing liquid can be heard from this flask whenever you swish it around, even if the flask is empty. You can use an action while holding the empty flask to speak the name of one of the following liquids: beer, honey, mayonnaise, oil, vinegar, water (fresh or salt), or wine. When you do, 8 ounces of that liquid appears within the flask. Afterward, you can use an action to open the flask and either pour the liquid out or drink it.

Create Potion. Alternatively, you can use an action to name one of the magical potions below while holding the empty flask. When you do, roll a d100; if the result is equal to or less than that potion's success threshold, the flask then fills with 1 ounce of the named potion (enough for one use). Otherwise, the flask fills with 1 ounce of water.

Once you've named a potion, it can't be named again until the next dawn. A potion with varying effects, such as a potion of healing or potion of greater healing, count as a single named potion for the purposes of this property. Any liquid or potion remaining in the flask is lost daily at dawn. A potion that's poured into another vessel for later use immediately loses its magic and turns to water.

Sentience. Mister Bottle is a sentient chaotic neutral item with an Intelligence of 19, a Wisdom of 14, and a Charisma of 15. It has hearing and darkvision out to a range of 120 feet. It can speak, read, and understand Common. Its voice sounds tinny and hollow when it speaks, during which time the flask's mouth opens and shuts cartoonishly.

Personality. Mister Bottle used to be a renowned alchemist whose experiments (and misadventures) eventually got the better of him. After centuries of being trapped within an iron flask, he managed to transform it into its current form from inside. He has since forgotten his given name. Regardless, his passion for alchemy and potions remains unchanged.

If you use an action to pour a magical potion into Mister Bottle's mouth, the potion disappears, but it can be made again using the bottle's Create Potion property. The GM decides the potion's success threshold.

"Two parts goodberry, one part citrus zest, three parts water... and drink this. One healing potion."

"Bleh, tastes like watered down berries."

'You forgot to shake it first.'

The two looked down at the flask, freshly removed from their mouths.

"Let's listen to the flask and try this again before I bleed out."