Splitter (Patreon)
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Weapon (halberd), very rare (requires attunement)
This halberd's haft is made of rough, dark wood and is miraculously easy to heft. The bladed end of the halberd looks like a hatchet that's been absorbed by the hewn wood. While holding the halberd with two hands, you can speak its command word as a bonus action to split the weapon into its more basic components. When you do, the halberd deconstructs in your hands, leaving you with a handaxe in one hand and quarterstaff in the other. Both the handaxe and quarterstaff have the light property. You can combine the two weapons to reform the halberd by speaking its command word again as a bonus action while you're holding both the handaxe and quarterstaff.
You gain a +3 bonus to attack and damage rolls made with this magic weapon. If the weapon is split into the handaxe and quarterstaff, you gain a +1 bonus with each weapon instead.
Halberd. If you're wielding the halberd and roll a 10 on the damage die for an attack against a creature, that creature's energy is sapped. The creature's speed is reduced by 10 feet until the end of its next turn, and your speed is increased by 10 feet until the end of your turn.
Handaxe and Quarterstaff. If you're wielding the handaxe and quarterstaff in either hand, you gain a +1 bonus to AC and can add your ability modifier to the damage of your offhand attacks. The quarterstaff deals necrotic damage, and its damage die is maximized if it hits a nonmagical plant or plant creature. If you make a ranged attack with the handaxe, it flies back to your hand immediately after the attack.
"...It forms a kind of sick relationship, doesn't it?" asked the wizard. His hand stopped glowing, the spell now complete. "The wood that was cut by the axe wants to remain tied to it. One likes to cut, and the other enjoys it. I'm not sure if that's some bizarre affection or cruel form of revenge." He shook his head. "Probably not that far off from some real relationships, huh?"
A muscled man sat across from him on the other side of the desk. He looked uncomfortable. "Uhh. Yes. You're right. Here's your gold," he said clumsily. The sound of clattering coins rang out around the room as they were dropped unceremoniously on the wooden desk.
"No need to run! I have some tea if y—"
"No, no, it's alright. My friends are waiting for me outside, and we have our next contract to get to." The man was already standing upright and holding the halberd again: both lovely and sick to look at. He turned his back and headed for the door.
It opened with a creak, and the dim room lit up and filled with the noise of passersby and street merchants outside. The man turned around and gave the wizard a sad look. "Maybe next time, Ilra. Thanks for the identify spell."
The wizard gave a half-hearted smile and nod, and the muscled man closed the door behind him as he left. The room was quiet and empty once more.
With a sigh, the wizard turned to his tea pot and poured himself a small cup. He seemed smaller than before. He added his usual milk and sugar and began to stir. The coins remained untouched on the desk before him.
Staring at the coins, the wizard sipped his tea and whispered, ever-so-softly, "...probably like all my relationships, at least."