Sauce No. 2 - TittySlut (Patreon)

Yeah, this one has a name. A while back, my friend and I were recovering from a hangover with a shit load of mac & cheese and a bunch of trashy Lifetime movies (she'd never seen a Lifetime movie before, so I feel both thrilled and guilty that I got her hooked). I can't remember the name of the movie, but I think it was about a suburban neighborhood where all of the neighbors were attractive, rich, and most importantly, all had open relationships for some reason, so they'd just bang each other like mad at these Eyes Wide Shut-style parties. 

Anyway, one of the characters, Gisele, was a standard-issue Lifetime movie gal in her mid-30s, and the way she was dressed was like, "va-voom!" Boobs bursting out of her top to what I can only assume is the maximum degree allowed in a MarVista Productions movie. It was PEAK Lifetime. 

So my friend says, in her lovely Spanish accent, "She is such a titty slut!" And then, it was one of those brief moments where she was worried that I might be offended, because, as a heavily titted person myself, I might have some reservations about such language and come to the defense of titty sluts everywhere.

But, nah. I just said, with a mouthful of macaroni and cheese, "Ahm a tittyslut!" And it's one of those things where it's not as funny as I'm writing it down, but at the time, it was HYSTERICAL, and we had to rewind the movie for like two minutes because I almost choked on macaroni and cheese, which just kinda went toward making it even more hysterical, and we were both hungover, so our defenses were down. 

Anyway, one of those moments where we got a word as a souvenir. Plus, it's just a fun word to say... "TittySlut."

It's for moments like that, that this sauce was created. TittySlut's definitely got a kick, but there's a lot of deceptive sweetness, too, that just makes you want more. Plus, there's just a tad of tartness that gives it body. And the color? How could I not name this sauce the TittySlut? :-D

It goes great on tacos, especially something light and fresh like pollo asado with a bunch of veggies. 

What would TittySlut be in Spanish... "puta de teta?" Which, I have just discovered, is also incredibly fun to say!

Here's the recipe...

• 30 g fresh habaneros, after de-seeding and de-capping

• 400 g fresh pineapple

• 10 g dried hibiscus (jamaica)

• 200 mL water

• 7 g salt

• 100 mL vinegar

Take the hibiscus, put it into the water, and bring it to a simmer for about 10 minutes. It'll be a deep red, which is just pretty. Discard the hibiscus petals and throw the tea into a blender with everything else. Bring to a low boil for 20 minutes, and when it's done, give it one more spin in the blender.

At this point, you can strain the sauce, which is fun, because in that case, it'll be crystal clear but still packed with flavor, though you do lose some volume. I don't mind the cloud of pineapple though, and the way it separates is just kinda fun. Next time, I might try straining it, just for the heck of it, and adding maybe a teaspoon of the "pulp," just to give it a little swirl when you shake it? Not sure. 

Oh! I also wanted to add a little lime juice to this too, which I really think would pull it together nicely with a cool touch of citrus acidity. Couldn't find any limes though! Guess they were out of season. Ah well. 

By the way, you'll see that a lot of these sauces separate in the bottle, which is totally cool. The cure a lot of folks use for this is xantham gum, which emulsifies everything and prevents it from separating, which is ok, I guess, but why add extra crap when you don't have to, you know? So, just give it a shake. 

YoU hEaRd mE! SHAKE THAT TITTYSLUT!

Heh. Heh heh.